Yeah, ever since I started to have my wyrd ass sex dreams ...Eddie didn't come back to Forked Up High. For all I knew, he had dropped out of school. I tried not to think about him and his filthy little frostie face. But as stupid as it sounds, I couldn't totally shake the feeling that I was responsible for his continued absence at school.

Which truth be told, this was actually was kind of causing me a problem on some level. Because I can literally not get that evil little shit eating grin of his out of my head, and I want to cut him a new smile so bad it is forking killing me! Truth ever since the day I started my period I have been having these crazy ass sex dreams about the little evil forker. And every night I wake up writhing and heaving right on the edge of orgasming seriously hard. And that damn recurring dream...or "The Wet Dream" as I call it now, is forking with my head big time. I feel like every morning a little part of me is missing something ...like memories of stuff I was supposed to remember but can't anymore.  Anyways... 

So save for the stupid sex dreams I have been plagued with, my first week in Forks passed without incident. Every day at lunch I watched the rest of the Foster Frosties roll into La Cantina and post up at their cool spot. I think they knew it was just a matter of time before shit kicked off between me and my minority gang of bitches and these forking frosties. But by mutual agreement of ignoring each other, we agreed to wait until Eddie returned to school to get shit cracking off.

Chief Chuck was unusually excited about work for some reason and was gone most of the weekend busting up a truck stop prostitution ring. He told me that one of the huge perks of being Chief was that he got to go undercover as the "John" again. So maybe with any luck, I might have a new Stepsister-Mom by the first of the month to do some cooking and cleaning around this shithole. 

Most of the weekend the rain stayed soft and warm, like puppy piss, so I was able to sleep deep ASF. The downside I kept having that damn "Wet Dream" all weekend long. Every time I started to drift there were those two damn blood red eyes hovering at the window ...just waiting for me to fall asleep. After a while, I just gave up even trying to fight sleep and just opened myself up wide and let the dreams come as they may. Not like I was gonna come anytime soon form these stupid dreams ...so whatever.

Come Monday morning, I was done riding the red pony of death. So now that my monthly mooning was over I was feeling a lot more comfortable in my own skin again. Like my RBF, resting bitch face, was back its optimal level of bitchability again. 

It was colder this morning, like Witchtitty cold, but happily not raining. But as usual, the Forking sky looks tote crappy with clouds. These clouds are slightly crappier than the usual craptastic clouds, as they look dense ASF. The usually gloaming light of the dim morning is somehow glowy now, which is sofa king lame. And I have to ask my self seriously what the fork is wrong with the air in this place. Maybe it's too close to communist Canada chemical factories or some shit? Cause the number of forktards up in this shit is way to high for there not to be a problem with the water or whatever.  Anyways...  

I decide to finally unveiled my bedazzled bitchess jacket and go to school like a boss. Of course, as soon as I get to school, everyone is admiring at my awesome ass as usual. I don't really blame the forktards for staring at me, cause lets face it I am sexy-hot ASF compared to the locale biotches. All the dicks want me, and all the bitches wanna be me.

I spot Gay Mike getting out of his excuse of a car. He has one of those environmentally responsible pieces of shit that run on batteries or some shit. He immediately comes running up to me super excited about being seen with me ...which I can so tote comprehendo.    

When we walked to some class we walk to every morning, that I already forgot about. I can hear all the forktards shouting excitedly to each other, some shit about the sky was falling.

"O'holy shit fork..." Gay Mike said looking up at the sky in wonder. "Snow blow day!"

"What heinous forkery is that shit?" I look suspiciously at the air full of erratically swirling bits of white shit. "It's like snowing coke and shit?"

"Snow coke?" Gay Mike looks at me kind of surprised. "Don't you like snow?"

"No, it makes me sort of paranoid." I shake him off stupid. "I stick to weed and wet dreams these days."

"Wait...so you haven't ever seen actual real snow before? Like in the air ...not on a motel mirror?" He laughs incredulously.

"Sure I have ...on TV when the cable got cut off and shit. Why?" I stare at the sky dropping white shit on me.

"Ah...Bee...this is what happens when rain gets too cold. We call it snow?" My little gay guide explains.

"Oh, obviously." I drone dryly and roll my eyes. "I'm from the fucking desert okay. The closest thing to snow we ever had was when the wildfires snowed ash on everything. Oh shit, thats what they meant by snowing ash?" And suddenly somethings start to make sense to me that didn't before. Flakes of shit falling from the sky is "snowing".

"Yeah." Gay Mike snorts.

But then a big, squishy ball of dripping snow smacked right into his nuts. We both turned to see where it came from. I had my suspicions about freaky homophobic Derrick, who was walking away, his back toward us trying to look like he didn't do nothing. But I guess he was still a little pissed off that I sliced him 10% off of his last boy boner. 

"Forking little dick." Mike apparently had the same notion. "So glad you cut him even further down to size."

"Practice makes perfect,"  I smirk back.

"Oh yeah." He just nodded his eyes on Derrick retreating ass.

"You should totally ass ram that shit for all it's worth." I snort.  "I bet he gives a hell handy."

"Naw, I got way better taste in ass than that forking loser." Gay Mike shakes me off. 

"So totes trues." I have to agree. And we both roll our eyes over at the same time. It's so good to have a gay bestie to talk to who really can understand that I am way better than everyone else.

Now mush snowballs were flying everywhere around the open path. So I kept a binder in my hands, ready to use it as a shield if necessary.   

"I'll see you at lunch." I kept walking as I spoke. 

"What? You don't want to play in the snow with the other forking losers?" Gay Mikey sniffs at me.

"Naw, once people start throwing wet balls of shit around, I'm outta." 

"Well, I'm going to go get my hands on some snowy balls."  He giggles and scampers off to play snow blow with the other boys.

"Go get your gay on then, snowfairy." I snort back, wishing him well. 

And there went my good gay boy running out to make little gay snowmen to snow blow.  

Throughout the rest of morning, everyone chattered excitedly about the snowballin'. Apparently, it was the first snowfall of the new year. Like frozen water falling from the skies...wooptie forking wooo!

I walked alertly to the cafeteria with Ninja and Angel after Mexicano classo. Gay Mike caught up to us as we walked in the doors, laughing, with ice melting the spikes in his frosty hair. I guess he found someone to blow some snow all over his face after all.

Gay Mike and Ninja were talking super anime about the snowball sushi as we got in line to buy food. I glanced toward the table in the corner out of habit. And then I froze where I stood. There were...all five of them playing in the snow. And that's when I see them...and him. That evil little cuntsucker and they were all smiling.  

Eddie, Jaspare, and Everett all had their hair entirely saturated with melting snow. Raven and Roseline were leaning away as Everett shook his dripping hair toward them. They were enjoying the snowy day, a lot more than anyone else, probably because it reminded them of summertime in Communist Canada. 

They looked more of a scene from a movie than the rest of us. Like that one movie where the stupid little frosty children are having a gay old time. Right before the abominable snowman suddenly appears and rips them all to shreds. Leaving behind nothing but the ripped up corpses of all the little frosty children in the snow.  A holiday classic.

But aside from their super lame laughter and playfulness, there was something different about the Forsties, that I couldn't quite put my finger up. And I couldn't quite pinpoint what that difference was ...aside from the fact they all dressed in white after Labor Day. 

I examined Eddie the closest. His skin was a little less pale then last time I saw him. Sorta flushed from the super gay snow fight with his wyrd sister-wife sisters. The super dark druggie circles under his eyes were much less noticeable. But there was something more there ...something wrong? I pondered, staring, trying to isolate the change since last I laid eyes on that little shit head.

"Bee, what the fork are you staring at?" Gay Mike intruded, his eyes following my stare.

"The filthy forking frosties." I eyebone Eddie.

At that precise moment, Eddie's eyes flashed over to meet mine. In the instant, our eyes met, that he didn't look harsh or unfriendly as he had the last time I'd seen him. He looked merely curious and unsatisfied in some way.  I give him nothing but my resting bitchface right back.

"Probably didn't get enough to eat last night."  I snort.  

"Tee he-he-he ...I think Evil is staring at you. And he wants to bone that fine ass of yours." Mikey giggled in my ear like a Japanese school girl at a Hello Kitty convention. I think he has been hanging out with Ninja a little too much.

"He doesn't look that super psycho anymore, does he?" I can't help by notice.

"Not really." Gay Mike sounded confused by my question. "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me, Snowblower." I confided in my new gay bestie.

"Foster kids don't like anybody, probably because they never know when moving day is gonna be." Gay Mike observed wisely. "FYI he's still staring at you."

"Then stop looking at him snowballs." I hissed.  "I don't want him seeing me coming when I come for him."

"Why don't you want him to see you coming? Isn't that's like half the fun?" He snickered some more and pretended to re-fuss his hair from his snowjob.

"Whatever, snowblossom."  I drone.

For whatever reason Ninja thought I was hilarious, as usual. And Angel pulled on my arm, to get me moving down the lunch line for the swill of the day special.

"Aren't you hungry? I think you should eat something..." Angel looks super hopeful as she is tote up my ass about eating better.

"Actually, I feel a little better. But maybe I will have a protein bar or whatever to get my blood sugar back up to bitchy?" I shrug her off as irrelevant.

"What's with Bee?" Ninja asked Gay Mike behind my back.

"No idea." He answered. "She's either snowbie or she hates the foster kids for some reason."

"Oh." She sighs. "Yeah, I get that. First time I got snowballed was a sucky surprise."

I don't bother waiting for them to get their food, I just walk away and drop into my usual spot. I sipped my soda slowly, just watching the frosties play in the snow. Twice Mike asked, with unnecessary concern, how I was feeling. So I told him it was nothing, but I was wondering if I should share my dreams with him? But then I figured that they were my dreams for a reason ...so maybe sharing them was bad luck or some shit. My Sister-mom always shared her dreams with me ...and look at how that shitshow worked out?

For the rest of the lunch hour, I very carefully kept my eyes on that evil little shit and his frostback fam. I decided that since he didn't look wrong at me, I would wait until Sex Science to start cutting on his smiling frosty face. 

But when he didn't come into La Cantina, I could relax and listen in on the lunchtime conversation. Most of the minority conversation seemed to centered around a trip to the La Kush Res to buy some bomb ass weed from the Indigians. I think this was probably the most interesting thing about my new minorities gay friends, that they knew where to score the good weed around this shithole excuse of a place on a map. La Kush Res was apparently the place to score the bomb ass weed up in this shit. Even better a new crop was coming in two weeks, that my minorities assured me was bomb ASF.  

Its sorta of stupid strange, but I am way more whateverz now than I had thought I would feel by this point. Like way way more whateverz than I had ever expected to feels ...and that bothers me for some reason. Cause I know that I am way better than all these people... yet somehow I was all whateverz about this now. Which I should sooooo tote not be whatever about.  

I didn't really want to walk to class with Mike as usual because he seemed to be a popular target for the snowballers. But I put Angel on the outside of me so that she took all the hits. She seemed to like getting hit in the face a lot, which kind of makes me wonder what her home life is like? You know, for the whole second I can spare to care about someone else besides myself. Mike kept up a string of complaints about the decided lack of decent dick to play with up in this shit ...all the way to Sex Science class.   

Anyways... I had better thoughts to think about besides Angel abuse or snowballing sushi...I have a forking frosty to cut down to size. Time for some Bitches to get some stitches up in this shit! 

________________________________________

Co Second Place "Award Winning" Authoress Notes and Feels!!!

Hella all my Luvlies!!! Omigod Can you "Beliebe" it!!! That I thought up a Ho-nother story so fast!?! IKR??? And I thought that was totes fun time chappie full of stupid snow-words, that you should tote look up in Urban Dicktionary. I had no idea that there were that many snow words that meant things.   

So anywhore... onto the Word of the Week!!!  And in honor of it being Halloween ...

Witchtitty!!!   Like Witch + Titty = Witchtitty.  (Ei.  Damn it is as cold as a Witchtitty!)  

I can't take credit for this little ditty ...cause that goes to my homegirl RedKurti. Like just the other day she was kicking it with me...and "U know who" walks by !!!! (Stupid skanky skank-a-lot who shall not be named ...C-word that rhymes with "ortney" ) And RedKurti was like "Dogdamn Moonie...that stupid C  just gave you a Witchtitty cold look."   And I was like "Whateverz...she is just jelly that I got an Award for my book on Watteverz and she can't even be co-second best in a contest." 

So what did everyone think of Bee's feels about Eddie leaving her always hanging just before she O'z?  Do you think it was fair of him to just get what he wanted from her and leave her hanging like that? And do you think that it is understandable that she wants to slice his face open for leaving her in the lurch?  I mean I know when I get interrupted from special shower message time when someone starts doing laundry and the water goes cold ...I get super irritated.       

What do you think about Bee's Little Bitch box cutter, pretty sick huh???

So anyways ...as always don't be a silent reader and shit ...cause that's like wrong and it hurts peeps feels. So read, vote, over comment, overshare, add to ALL YOUR LIBRARIES ...EVEN THE BAD SHITTY RANDOM FANDOM ONES!!! Follow this account, create a lot of fake accounts to follow this account, so you can vote more on my stories, and all my friendlies stories, but not my enemies stories. Like that stupid skank (You know who!!! ) at WillS*ck4votes... such a tot's vote slut.

And I don't know how many times I am gonna have to say this until certain people get the point! ALL YOUR LIBRARIES ...EVEN THE BAD SHITTY RANDOM FANDOM ONES!!! And don't think I don't know if you have or not ...cuz I do! And I don't want to have to name names yet but I will if I have to. (Twinning94 , Solesister71 , quackquackmuthaducka , black_hole_survivor , TheGirlInRedKurti 3Twistedsisters, Sushismorgasborg, TacoTuesday, BelieberBronyBoi69, Willfork4food, Scissorkicker7000, Pinappplepuree ...ect.)

Oh and please keep my dog Mr. Bobo in your thoughts and prayers. This week was Halloweener for us in the Mobile Estates or what we like to call going to the nice neighborhoods too get that good free kandy. And as it was BOBO's last year of Tricking with his balls on we decided to go all out this year! And go nuts ...pun totes intended.   

And on another sad note, it seems that my prayers for new balls for Bobo have gone unanswered..again. Balls4Bobo at GoFundMe.com, has only received enough donations for one full ball. And if anyone else knows His-story like I do...people with only one Ball are bad. At continuation school, I learned that Adolf Hitler only had one ball and look what happened there? 

So if you're like me and you don't want to see Bobo turn evil and become a dick-tater-tot please drop a spare hundred bucks. For Bobo's new Neuticles (prosthetic testicular implants for dogs) ...that would be sooo super duper stellar of all you. At Balls4Bobo at GoFundMe.com https://www.gofundme.com/balls4bobo

And again if you or one of your loved ones is suffering from pre-op canine testicular depression know that you are not alone! For more information about canine self-esteem and neuticles go to: http://www.neuticles.

Anyways... until next time ...LUV U LUVLIES !!!!!