Once inside the Sex Science classroom, I saw that my usual table was still empty. So I strutted my hot yoga ass over to the stool and dropped it like da bomb. Angel took her accustomed seat behind me and began to braid my hair without asking again. It's sorta strange that I have gotten used to this routine. 

Teacher Sex Science teacher was creeping around the classroom again as usual, distributing one microscope and box of slides to each table. Classing didn't start for a few minutes, and all the people that I don't care about are conversating about snow and shit. I kept my eyes on the door, idly doodling BITCHESSS on the desktop with my bedazzled box cutter. I probably should have known something was up when Angel paused in mid-sniff while braiding my hair.

"Oh hello ho." Whispered whimsically in a creepy quiet behind me. The musical lilting voice that sounded like an ethereal angelic angel, that got kicked in the balls by a pair of spiked soccer cleats.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved. So when I looked up, stunned that he had found a way to creep on me so fast ...and that he dared to speak to me. The evil little mutherforker must have sensed something in my demeanor, cause he pushed about as far away from me as the desk allowed, but his chair was angled toward me. I noticed his hair was so frosty wet with snowkkake, he looked like he'd just finished shooting a punishment porn for Japanese tourists. 

"And hello again." He smiled sweetly. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his purple bruise-colored eyes were cold and careful.  "So I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week to you. My name is Edvardo Killen ...you killed my father and now you must pay."

And of all the stupid ass shit to say to me ...he had to quote Princess Bride at my ass as a pickup line? Who the hell did this evil little assclown think he was?

"Who's your daddy?" I snarled back, and preparing for the attack.

"Some dead dude." He shrugged all nonchalantly and continued talking at me like we were friends or some shit. "Of course, you must be Belladonna Blackswan."

"Like you know me or some shit?" I eye him cold ASF, waiting for him to say the next stupid shit that falls out of his face.

"Oh, I think its safe to say that everyone up in this bitch knows your name by now." He laughed a high pitched soft, enchanting laugh, like some sort of snow fairy. Then dropped his voice to a sinister whisper. "The whole school can't stop talking about how you're too cool for this school. And that yoga ass of yours is seriously something to behold."

Now my mind was dry humping with confusion. Was that a compliment or was he trying to mess with my head to get me to drop my vendetta? I mean, after all everything he just said was the truth, right? I mean my hot yoga ass was way too hot for Forked.  And I have to wonder if I had made the whole thing up in my head?

He was clearly waiting for me to say something. So I had to talk some shit soon or he would think I was forking mental like the rest of the forktards. But I couldn't think of anything disagreeable to say. The stupid smile on his frosty face was fading, and he was obviously wondering if I was retarded ASF.

"Ya think?" I snorted back, having nothing contrary to say...except. "And don't call me Belladonna ...or I will forking cut you."

"So I heard." He shifts himself a little further from me, and smirks back to Duh Derrick. "You went all Super Cuts on stupid shit back there touching himself in the corner again."

But I ignored the words, my eyes stayed carefully focused on the smile I was about to slit across his frosty face. But before any more bullshit can happen, Mr. Sex Science Teacher starts talking about classing bullshit. I tried to pretend like I cared as he stammered in excitement at the lab we would be doing today. He intentionally put the slides in the box were out of order. Working as lab partners, we had to separate the slides of various venereal diseases and label them accordingly. Teacher sex Science claims that the last slide is "the real surpirse". 

We weren't supposed to use our Sex Science workbooks, only our memories. In twenty minutes, he would be coming around to see who got all the questions right.

"Get started," Stupid teacher Sex Science commanded merrily. "And may the odds forever be in your favor."

"Bitchess first?" Eddie grinned his shit eating grin. 

I glared up to see him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only glare at him and wish to slice him a brand new smile. Something seriously twisted with lots of stitches, to match his foul little frosty soul.

"Then forking go for it, bitch boy." I intone coldly back.

"I suppose I could start if you want." He smirks his stupid smirk.

He snapped the first slide into place under the microscope and adjusted it quickly to get a good look. He studied the slide briefly and smirked. 

"Chlamydia." He smirks, sliding the viewfinder over to me.

I hesitantly glance down at the image and snort. "Can you even spell that?"

He wrote out the answer neatly in the first space on our worksheet. Then drew the first picture on the worksheet, a crudely drawn alien mothership.

The second slide was a little harder than the first slide.

"Crabs" My assessment was confident.

"Do you mind if I look?" 

"Whatever." 

"Oh yeah ...that's definitely a parasite of some sort." He agreed. He swiftly switched out the third slide for the second, and then glanced at it cursorily.

"Mmmm... too small to tell..." He murmured, writing it down as he spoke.

"Let me see." I kept my voice indifferent.

"Oh yeah...prepare to be disappointed." He smirked and pushed the microscope to me.

I looked through the eyepiece eagerly, only to be disappointed. Dogdamn, that shit was almost way too small to see. Like trying to find a needle in ...a non-needle place.

"No clue. Hitler Syphilis maybe?" I shoved the microscope back at him before he could ask for it.  

"Nasty Nazi shit." I snort 

"Very." He oddly agreed.

"Slide five?" I held out my hand without looking at him. He handed it to me, it seemed like he was being super careful not to accidentally touch my skin.

"Aids." I back away from the microscope. 

"I'll take your word for it." He backs away and his eyes get all weird again. 

"Last slide."  He mutters something stupid under his breath, and tentatively eyeballs the slide.

"Dogdam ...really?" I mug appreciatively. "And fully swollen encased in a protective sheath and ready to rock and roll and everything?"

 "What is it?"

"It's a surprise." I snort and back away. "And not a good one."  And I unconsciously grab my hand sanitizer and start dousing myself with the little airline vodka bottle I snagged on the flight up.

He licked his lips eagerly ASF. He immediately reached for the microscope. I watched him closely as he examined the slide for an even longer time than I had. He took a swift peek, and then drew the answer down on the stupid sheet of dicks. I could have written it while he looked, but his clear, elegant script intimidated me. I didn't want to spoil the page with my clumsy kindergarten scrawl. Although for someone who wrote like a grandma ...he couldn't draw dicks for shit.

We were finished way before anyone else was even close. I could see Mike and his partner excitedly looking the last surprise slide over and over again and again, girlie giggling like little schoolgirls at a free BTS concert. Angel and her multi-ethnic group of the Lee's had their book open under the table and really constipated looks on their faces. As they pointed confused at the "surprise slide". 

Which left me with nothing to do but try to not look at him... unsuccessfully. I glanced up, and he was staring at me, that same inexplicable stupid look of hungry in his eyes. Suddenly I identified that subtle difference in his face from my weird ass sex dreams.

I was sure there was something different about his eyes now. I swear to god the last time I saw them they were blood black and full of lust...like that wyrd ass wet dreams I've been having about him. Like I can almost vividly remember the flat black blood color of his eyes the last time he'd glared up at me from downtown. Or was all that stupid shit just in my head? Like some sort of weird-ass blowback from when Sister'mom dropped 7 hits of L at Burning Man when she was still preggers with me.

"Not that I care, but did you get contacts or some shit?" I blurted out unthinkingly. 

"No." He seemed puzzled by my unexpected question. "Why?"

 "Cause you eyes don't look all super psycho anymore." I glare back. 

"Oh ...ah...yeah...I'm like super anemic and shit. So my eyes get really jacked up sometimes if I don't get enough iron in my diet." He smiled slyly like a serial slayer and then looked away like he just got caught playing with himself to Guns and Ammo again.

"Right." I nod slowly not believing a word of this shit for a minute. I know what I saw in my dream and this dudes eyes were definitely blood black. Not this stupid shade of bruise he was trying to rock today. The color was striking against the background of his frosty pale skin and his beat me to death auburn hair.

But today, his eyes were a completely different color a strange purple, slightly darker than a bruise, but with the same golden tone of abuse. I didn't understand how that could be, unless he was lying for some reason about the contacts?

Or maybe the chemical cloud from Communist Canada always hovering over this shithole was making me crazy in the literal sense of the word. Fork...I have to remember to start showering with only bottled water from now on. Cause there must be something in the water in this bitch making me see things. 

Finally, Mr. Sex Science dropped by our table, to see why we weren't working on shit anymore. Just staring at each other like we were either gonna murderize each other or start banging each other brains out right there on the lab table in front of all the other forktards. And what was forking weirding me out ...I wasn't really sure which one I wanted any more. Blood or bones...or both. 

Creepy Sex Science looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab full of dicks, and then stared more intently to check the answers.

"So, Eddie I see you are up to your usual artwork. Didn't you think Belladonna should get a chance with the surprise slide too?" Mr. Sex Science asked stupidly.

"She likes to be called Bee." Eddie corrected automatically. "And actually, she identified the last slide pretty easily."

Teacher Sex Science looked at me now his expression was super hopeful.

"Oh really?" He licks his lips super greedily. "Well, you seem to know your way around surprises. Have you done this kind of work before? Worked with a lot of manhoods?"

"Say what now, muther forker?" I glare back up at this Sex Offender, and ready my razor to show this perv just what I can do with half off. "Did you just ask me if I was a Snowflake?"

"I just figured that you being from North Las Vegas, you've probably handled a lot more...than the local kids have." He stuttered super excited. "I thought you were in an advanced placement program in North Las Vegas ...so I figured you knew how to get an easy A the hard way?" He smiles super salaciously down at my fine yoga ass balanced ever so perfectly on the edge of the bar stool.

"Not." I snort. "Advanced placement was just where they put all the bitches who weren't pregnant or on parole yet." And then I just stare back at him waiting for him to say the next stupid ass shit.

"Oh well." Teach Sex Science sighs super sad after a moment. "I guess it's good then you two idiots are lab partners."

"That was not forking cool." The evil little shit next to me murmured I just stare back at him waiting for him to say the next stupid ass shit  

But Teacher Sex Science walked away I swear to Dog he mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "Filthy frosty faggot ..."

"What thee actual..." I start to drone. I mean I know I am a little racist ...like against the whole human race. But that kind of gay hate is just so not nice in my book ...even if it is against this little evil shit next to me.   

So Teacher Sex Science wants to see what I learned in North Las Vegas AP class? 

"Taste the rainbow..." I snap out my bedazzled boxcutter and am about to go full bitchlistic and drop into a serious cut-a-slut mode. But suddenly an icy hand caught my wrist and twisted, and to stopped me short. The evil little asshole twists my arm and pulls me back to my seat like a boss. 

"Don't be stupid ASF." He shakes me off. 

His fingers were ice-cold and hard ASF. But that wasn't why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us and made my down there hair stand up and take notice.

"Get your filthy fucking frosty hands off me ...you piece of polar bear shit." I snap back, and slice up my box cutter up his arm quick and clean.

But oddly he doesn't react like a normal cut slut should. Instead, he smiles his super creepy smile, like he has a secret or some shit. And then licks the bloody slice up his arm playfully, like he is really into this game. And I swear I cut this bitch to the bone, but now it looks like I missed or some shit? Cause he is not bleeding out screaming on the floor like he should be. Instead he is just sitting there smiling tightly at me, and savoring the moment ...like we are having a thing.

"Aw how cute, look you made me bleed." He finally lets go of my arm, and I think that his hard fingers must have left some very lovely blue bruises. 

But I don't give him the satisfaction of rubbing my wrist. Instead I looked down in his lap and I couldn't help but notice a bulging tightness in his jock. And his hands are doing that clenchy thing again. Like he just can't wait to wrap his hands around my throat and choke me the fork out. And as much as I hate to admit this...I was starting to get a little turned on by all his malevolence. Maybe it was the North Las Vegas girl in me rearing her ugly bed head hair. But there is just something about a boy who is willing to choke you out when you don't give him what he wants, that is just so ...enticingly familiar.

And I know they have a lot of 1-800 hotlines and shit, for this kind of stupid thinking. But dogdamn I think if that thing in his pants popped out, I might not be able too to resist a little kiss. And if he grabbed me by the back of my braided hair just so and shoved my face down a little ... I think I just might be able to answer the age-old question of Scary Carrier's pig blood Prom. Spit or swallow?

"So fancy yourself a cutter, huh?" His face twists into some sort of thing I think is a serial killer smile and takes another longingly long lick up his cut.

"If by cutter you mean that I will cut-a-slut in a second for looking at me wrong? Or some asshole that thinks he can put his hands on me and bend me to his will?" I smile back on the attack. "Then oh hells yes! I will slice a stupid slut a new smile every dogdamn day of the week. Any questions?"

"Yeah." His voice drops to an evil purring whisper. "So who cuts your hair down there?"

"What the actual fuuuuuck..." I rear back and stare him down hard.

"Gotcha." He smiles his twisted freaky little smile. 

"You forking filthy little frosty freak." I glower back into his sick smirk, which makes him smile all the harder.

So I just ignored his sickness and began doodling on the desk again with my bedazzled box cutter. I don't know what it was about this bizarre boy, who I may or may not totally despise or want to violate in several ways to Sunday. But now I could see from the corner of my eye, that he was leaning away from me again. But his hands were still gripping the edge of the table with unmistakable tension. And I don't know what it is about that malevolent tension that is making me ...feel things?

I tried to appear as unattentive ASF as Teacher Sex Science illustrated out all the various VD's with transparencies on the overhead projector. What I had seen without too much difficulty through the microscope was now blown way up on the overhead projector. And of course, his "secret surprise slide" looked super ginormous ...as if. 

He tries to explain that condoms are the best way to avoid contracting any of the stuff on the slides. And I am like: "Hello, duh ...abstinence and oral?"  

When the bell finally rang, Eddie rushed off swiftly as gracefully as a gazelle from the room, just as he had last time he ran away from me the first day. And just like last time I stared after him leaving and I felt ...a feel? But the rest of my thoughts were unimaginable ...cause they were my thoughts and so they were really hard for anyone else to imagine. Even me...but whatever.

Mikey skipped quickly to my side and picked up my books for me. 

"O...M...G.  That surprise slide was sofa king awful, and I even like dicks." He totally ew-faced me. "And did you notice how excited Teacher Sex Science was?"

"Not really. They sorta all look the same to me anyways." I shrug him off.  "Why?"

"I think those were all the same ding dong. Trust me I take a lot of my own dix pix's on the regular." He frowns down at his own identity crisis. "And while I can't say for certain but I think that was Teacher Sex Science's..."

"Ew...dont be gross."

"I don't know Bee...that last one in the condom? Seemed so suddenly familiar to me for some reason?" Mikey muses. "I just wish they had a before and after for that one...it was so totes. You know what I mean?"

"Maybe it was on some French foreign Euro porn you watched before?" I added before he could get his feelings hurt.

"Maybe. So anywhore, Evil E seemed friendly enough today. Like he so wanted to bend you over the desk and bone your fine ass right in front of everyone. Dogdamn but Duh Derrick would have loved that memory ...forever."  Mikey makes his exaggerated pumping fist hand sign for Duh Derrick.   

"As if." I snort back. 

I mean I know that I am totally hot ASF, and a lot of people want to get up in my shit on the regular. I am kind of used to my hot yoga ass being all lusted after, so that's pretty much normal in my world. And as much as I tote hate to say it, its part of the price you have to pay when you are as hot ASF as I am. I think Kim Kardashian said is best ..."With great ass comes great power. And it doesn't hurt to have a couple of sex videos where you and your sisters take turns sucking golfballs thru a garden hose."     

But I couldn't quite shake the feeling that he wasn't tote wrong about that. I just couldn't shake the sense that evil little asshole actually liked it when I cut him. That instead of adding insult to injury, it was almost like he was turned on by it like forked up foreplay? That there was a part of me ...that was oddly okay with that, in a way that I didn't totally hate. And that for a split second there, I could almost see myself as the kind of girl who would try some butt stuff. You know if he begged me enough ...or at least demanded nicely before choking me out.  

After that thought, I couldn't really concentrate on thinking any more thoughts cause of Mikey's dix pic chattering as we walked to Art class to bedazzle some stuff. Of course, Mikey offered to send me several of his naked selfies "For Furry Art Photos" but I shrugged him off.  I mean what was the point of that really? Mikey was like my gay bestie now ...so it was probably not a good idea that I know too much about his love life. After all, it might distract us both from what is really important ...me and my life. Anyways, for whatever reason, I imagined him with a wagging tail playing furry cosplay with some boy toy.

After arting and bedazzling some shit for an hour, the rain was just a piss mist as I walked to the parking lot, and looked around me to make sure it was clear. That's when I noticed the stone still, pale figure of Eddie staring intently in my direction watching me...and of course my fine yoga ass walk. He was just leaning arrogantly against the front fender of big black BMW, three cars down from me. It was just the sort of car that my truck would make scrap metal out of, on a good day.

I thought about walking up and slicing him a new smile again, but then again he might like that. Which is really confusing, cause when I hurt someone...I want them to feel hurt, right? Not forked up foreplay in some weird ass freak sex game with me in the mix as the vixen. So I stared straight ahead as I passed the asshole. But from a peripheral peek, I would swear I saw him snickering again. Like all this hate was part of his stupid sex games with me. 

When I got in my truck I took a huge hit of vape and exhaled away the day. And just said "Fork it!", started the truck up and swiftly looked away and threw the truck into reverse. So of course, I almost squished his little retard sister Raven into soup. But lucky for the little cutter, I stomped on the brake in time and only scared the shit out of the forktard. Only then did I remember not to smoke and drive...dogdammit! All this freaky stupid shit has my brain not minding its own business again.

I took a deep breath, and then did the responsible thing, I cut off the engine. I got out of the truck to be a bitch to this forking frosty idiot ...cause she almost made me kill her. But as usual, I couldn't even find that fight ...cause she was now running around the parking lot in concentric circles smiling like a dipshit.

"Un-forking beliebable..." I just stood there and watched the weird retard playing airplane around the parking lot with herself, like it was all good in the hood.

So I just stood there and waited for crazy Raven to run by and come in for a landing, so I could sock her stupid in the face to get her attention. Or maybe hand her some scissors to run around with while she played in traffic. When suddenly an earsplitting rumbling squeal was coming from someone else's car somewhere behind me...

...and that's when all hell broke loose ...   

_________________________________________________

Co-Tied for Second Place "Award Winning Authoress" Notes and Feels!!!

Hella all my Luvlies!!! Omidog can you forking"Beliebe" it!!! That I thought up a Ho-nother story so forking fast!?! IKR??? And I thought that was totes time chappie full fun dix stuff !!!

So what did everyone think about Bee finally cutting into Eddie? Was it everything you hoped it would be...or just a little taste of what's to come? And what about Eddie getting kind of turned on by that, pretty sick stuff huh? And Bee kind of getting turned on by Eddie getting freaky? And do you think she is right not buying into his anemic eyeball story or what? IDK ??? :) :) :) : )

Also I feels I should probably address the purple elephant in the room. What do you think about the abusive undertone of Bee and Eddie's relationship? Cause like every other right-thinking thoughts person over the age of whatever ...I know that being in an abusive relationship is bad and sad. And if you don't like it, you should tote leave their ass and get help from ninja's and stuff.

But I also think that there are some people that actually like being in a physical relationship where you can punch the other person in the face for talking stupid shit. Or just get choked out when you feel like taking some time off from thinking thoughts. But I also think that this is one of those things where I like to ask you Luvlies what you feels ...and what you want to see happen going forward.

And what about Gay Mikes offer to send Bee his dix pix's? Would that be weird to get dix pix's from your gay bestie? I know when that happened to me ...I felt oddly disappointed. Like yeah, I admit I like getting random dix pix's on my phone as much as the next girl. But still Gay bestie dix pix is kind of like getting a stolen moped for Christmas. Like it does have an engine...but it just can't take you anywhere fun.    

So anywho enough feels for a minute ... and onto the Word of the Week!!!   

Bitchllistic!!!   Like Bitch + Ballistic = Bitchllistic. (Ei. Dogdamn ...don't make me go bitchlistic on you!)

I can't take credit for this little ditty ...cause that goes to my Sista. Like just the other day she was kicking it with me...and "U know who" walks by like her shit don't stink !!!! (Stupid skanky skank-a-lot who shall not be named ...C-word that rhymes with "ortney" ) And Sista was like "Dogdamn C-Word  ...you best be looking down at those laces girl.  Don't make me get up and go Bitchlistic on your dumb ass."  At which point I laughed my ass off cause even though my Sista is kind of scary and shit...she is still totes mine.  :)  

Quick survey Luvlies????  So should I tell you the word of the week or just let you guess from now on? And then tell you next update if you were right? Like my own mini contest in my Co-Tied for Second Place Award Winning Authoress notes? So if you want the contest please put in a comment here : 

So anyways ...as always don't be a silent reader and shit ...cause that's like wrong and it hurts peoples feels who are trying really hard to think of stories.  So read, vote, over comment, overshare, add to ALL YOUR LIBRARIES ...EVEN THE BAD SHITTY RANDOM FANDOM ONES!!! Follow this account, create a lot of fake Facebook accounts to follow this account, so you can vote more on my stories, and all my friendlies stories, but not my enemies stories. Like that stupid skank (You know who!!! ) at WillS*ck4votes... such a tot's vote slut.

And I don't know how many times I am gonna have to say this until certain people get the point! ADD THIS BOOK TO ALL YOUR LIBRARIES ...EVEN THE BAD SHITTY RANDOM FANDOM ONES!!! And don't think I don't know if you have or not ...cuz I do! And I don't want to have to name names yet but I will if I have to. (quackquackmuthaducka , Twinning94, Solesister71 , TheGirlInRedKurti, black_hole_survivor 3Twistedsisters, Sushismorgasborg, TacoTuesday, BelieberBronyBoi69, Willfork4food, Scissorkicker7000, Pinappplepuree ...ect.)

Oh and please keep my dog Mr. Bobo in your thoughts and prayers. Today is a big day of change in Bobo's life. This morning we had to take him to the vet for his pre opp prep. And they shaved his poor balls down for his SNIP SNIPITY SNIP tomorrow morning. I tried to hold his paw and keep attention during the buzz cut, but Mr. Bobo tried to be brave and put on a happy face. I think he has finally accepted that the De-Balling is gonna happen whether he likes it or not.

And on another sad note, it seems that my prayers for new balls for Bobo have gone unanswered ...yet again. Balls4Bobo at GoFundMe.com, has only received enough donations for one full ball. And if anyone else knows His-story like I do...people with only one Ball are bad. At continuation school, I learned that Adolf Hitler only had one ball and look what happened there?

So if you're like me and you don't want to see Bobo turn evil and become a dick-tater-tot please drop a spare thousand bucks, for Bobo's new Neuticles (prosthetic testicular implants for dogs) ...that would be sooo super duper stellar of all you. 

This is your last chance to drop a couple of hundred bucks for Bobo at:   
Balls4Bobo at GoFundMe.comhttps://www.gofundme.com/balls4bobo

And again if you or one of your loved ones is suffering from pre-op canine testicular depression know that you are not alone! For more information about canine self-esteem and neuticles go to: http://www.neuticles.

Anyways... until next time ...LUV U LUVLIES !!!!!