I numbly found my way towards Marina's bed, my whole body collapsing sideways down the middle of the bed; sinking into the soft comforter while tears swam down my cheeks.

I couldn't help but carefully pull my knees closer to my stomach and lay in a fetal position as I sniffed heavily while my shoulders trembled with every fallen tear.

I shut my eyes and gripped my stomach gently with my hands, strained sobs escaping my lips while I shook my head, my heart picking up the pace rapidly.

How could he love a girl like me? What did I even expect?

Why do I keep hoping? Why do I keep trying to save a non-existent relationship?

"Oh Goddess." I mumbled lowly, my hands soothingly rubbing circles over my stomach which rumbled with awakening hunger — but I couldn't help but think of my son, Arsenio.

My baby, the one that got taken away from me again; the child that I have brought into this awful world, just to have him suffer as much as I did.

I just wanted to be happy, but I could feel how emotionally and physically drained out I was, I could feel how low my energy had gotten over the past few days.

I could feel my ribs poking through my skin, as the fabric of my shirt tickled the area — it was terrible to have a body like mine; a body of a decaying corpse, slowly ridding of the skin to only uncover the bones underneath.

I shuddered as I rapidly began massaging my rumbling stomach, as if it's hunger had only managed to increase, but I didn't have enough courage or willpower to get up from this bed to once again go eat.

All my life all I had done was cry and watch myself suffer, not because I wanted to, but because I had no choice; I could only ever observe and deal with the torture that was going on, without the allowance of a single change.

Maybe it was always my fault, for being a weak she-wolf, but I guess this is how I was born, how the Moon Goddess wanted me to live — as if this was my only purpose until death finally becomes my one and only savior.

I couldn't help the sudden sobs that one by one escaped my trembling lips and filled the silent room, and I especially couldn't help the sudden feeling of heartache at the thought of dying so soon.

I slowly opened my glossy eyes, and brought my hands up in front of my face, flipping them around so that the back of my wrists were evident.

As if I had known something was wrong, the sight of my sudden inhumane gray colored veins didn't even surprise me as they darkened. The sight of my thin shaking fingers made me roughly bite onto my bottom lip because even though I didn't fear what was happening, I did in fact fear what was going to happen.

I wasn't given enough time to think about this as a sudden knock echoed through the room making me flip my wrists and throw my hands deep into the comforter, hidden from the human eye.

"Celine? Can we come in?" Marina asked softly, her voice only managed to annoy me because I hated pity, I hated the way everything spiraled back to how it was in the beginning.

I nodded anyway, even though I knew they couldn't see me; but as if she knew that I gave her permission, the door creaked open slowly making me sniff back some moisture from my burning nose.

"Hey Celine, how are you feeling?" The familiar sound of Elijah's friendly voice made my heart skip a beat, but I didn't respond — I just gazed at the wall across from me while tears silently trailed down my cheeks.

"Come on Celine, can you please tell me what happened?" Marina asked patiently, I gulped lowly and shook my head, not wanting to speak at all because if I did; I feared I would explode.

"Can we just talk then?" Elijah asked, I could sense the worry in his words and that only made me feel guilty about not replying, but I knew my hormones would result in me snapping and I did not want that.

"Please, Celine?" Marina begged making me flinch angrily, my heartbeat speeding up as I fisted my hands and scrunched up my face, huffing out a shaky breath.

"W-what do you want to hear?" I asked hoarsely, my voice thick with bottled up emotions and soft with an undertone of defeat, and weakness — I inhaled deeply for some necessary strength.

"I just want to know what happened, because you were fine before... You were fine when I last saw you, that is." Marina said slowly, as if she noticed she had to be cautious with her words — I sniffed and shook my head grimly.

"I was fine, but that was before..." I paused when I remembered what happened afterwards with both Lexie and Dustin, and a sudden sob escaped instead of words, my hands were only clenching tighter.

I felt a presence behind me and then a comforting touch on my shoulder, but I didn't turn to see who it was as I cried hopelessly into the pillow that was under my head.

"Before what?" Marina asked softly, her voice like a soft murmur as she spoke, her now familiar hand was rubbing gently up and down my shoulder, making me sigh while once again shaking my head.

I pulled away from her and turned slightly to face her, holding my upper body higher due to the placement of my elbows, she finally managed to take a good look of my face and she hissed lowly, her eyes slightly widening making me gulp.

"Before I spoke to Lexie, who managed to once again put me in my place. Before I spoke to Dustin, who I thought actually wanted me, but I guess I was wrong — I guess I was the one who actually wanted him, and my imagination managed to get the better of me. I hate it Marina, but you can never understand..." I paused to inhale as my cheeks flushed, a fresh wave of tears glossed my eyes over and the feel of Elijah's eyes burning into my skull made my stomach flip, Marina just watched me silently.

"You won't ever understand because you have a loving Mate, something I aspire to have... Marina, I know you want me to talk and to explain, but how could I when I know you won't understand? How could I explain something, completely unexplainable to me? Something that goes against our kind. Something that manages to hurt me everyday, something I should be used to but I'm not and I always let it get to me — Hell, I always let him get to me." I continued, feeling somewhat lighter as I finally let it all out, she inhaled lowly and backed up a bit, her eyes were glossy as well but I knew she didn't take offense from my words — because she knew they were true.

"I apologize if my words offend you in any way Marina, because I don't mean to. I just want you to know that sometimes its best if you don't know, in order to prevent more heartbreak or hatred between you and your brother because of me." I wanted to continue but she stopped me by shaking her hand and grabbing onto my hand gently, I pushed my body up a bit more.

"It doesn't matter if you come between us, Celine. Dustin and I have always had problems, because that's how we are — how we were raised. I see how bad he's become and how it's impacting you — my friend and I hate it, I can't stand by it." She stated angrily, her jaw clenched tightly and I noticed the way her lips curled up in disgust but I just tightened my hold on her hand for a second and shook my head rapidly.

"No. You guys might have your own problems but I don't want to be an addition. You need to understand that I've gone through too much, I've done too much to hurt others — that I honestly can't handle hurting more. Especially my Mate and his sisters bond. Our bond is already tarnished, completely ruined and I fear it'll never come back, or strengthen because,

neither of us are willing. But, you're bond with him is stronger, more long lasting and I can tell that both of you are willing to fix it — so please Marina, I beg of you; don't worry about Dustin and me, worry about Dustin and you. I can't handle knowing that in the end, it was my fault.... I know it sounds selfish, but I just can't." I finished breathlessly, my cheeks nervously red and my heart beating rapidly, by now Marina was silent and gazing at our interlocked hands — I looked at Elijah from the corner of my eyes and noticed how he watched me back, with some sort of admiration in his eyes.

"I understand." She whispered softly, her voice thick of emotion as she nodded her head, stray tears trailing down her cheeks as she continued processing my words — I couldn't help but feel guilty because I caused this, but I knew she needed to hear it because my words were right.

And after that, nobody spoke, we all just watched each other silently — while Marina tightly held my hand, and let out quiet sobs that made my heart clench more and more.

•
•
•

About an hour later, Marina jumped from the bed and ran towards her closet, making my brows furrow — I used my hands to wipe the lingering wetness from under my eyes, and turned to look at Elijah, who looked equally as confused.

When I sent him a look, he shrugged sheepishly making me chuckle and roll my eyes, the sound of Marina's upcoming footsteps made me snap my head back her way.

"Here, go to the bathroom and do this — I always knew I would find my Mate, so I bought these for safe keeping, and now I think it's best if you use it." She stated while handing me a small, light pink box with a thermometer thing showcased on it — but I grew too familiar with this box to think that the image was of a thermometer before giving birth to Arsenio, so I knew it was truly a pregnancy test.

I inhaled shakily and nodded my head, looking shyly at a still confused Elijah while taking the box from her, she smiled weakly before I slowly got off her bed and made way to the bathroom with shaky knees.

My hands trembled as I shut the bathroom door and locked it behind me, my heart was beating rapidly and I couldn't help but gnaw on my inner cheek nervously.

"Okay, you can do this Celine." I whispered to myself encouragingly; trying to reassure myself that this was the best option for me to know the truth.

Once I was semi-composed, I pulled two of the tests from the box and made way towards the toilet, with shaky hands and anxiety running through me — I managed to finish both of them quickly.

Once I was satisfied, I flushed the toilet and placed the sticks on the sink, pulling up my pants once my hands were empty — I exhaled shakily because now was the time to wait.

04 minutes later...

I held my breath as I walked closer towards the sink, seeing as four minutes ago I started feeling suffocated being so close to it, now I felt as though I was going to have a panic attack.

I scrunched up my face when I saw it and let out a huff of breath once I saw what it said, my heart beating rapidly.

I took them in my hand and threw them out in the bin beside the toilet before exiting the bathroom with glossy vision, and wet cheeks.

My whole body trembled as Marina and Elijah gazed at me expectedly once the door shut behind me, I gulped and rubbed a hand down my face.

"I'm pregnant."