I believed it was some kind of karmic punishment, or perhaps, it was his punishment he gave me. For days, he seemed to ignore me. I dreamed about it. Consummation.

Now that I was fully healed from my wounds there was nothing to distract me from the fire inside me. I'd wondered what it was at first, but then I wasn't stupid. It took me time but eventually I had drawn the conclusion.

I was in heat. It was the only possible explanation to the dreams and the flair of sensations.

My breath stuck in my throat, my gums hurt from trying to keep the moans locked, it was how my body responded to him every time he got near me with his hormones, the hormones a male gave off to lure in the female. Yet, for the past week, he never came close enough to sate my need, he never caressed the agony away.

I'd waited for hours in his cabinet and eventually he came. We were on our own-my mate who wouldn't give me what I needed and I who wouldn't beg. Was it what he wanted me to do - beg?

As soon as he stepped inside, I closed the space to have my arms wrapped around him. Pushing my chest against his, I molded my body to his as my hands roamed over his hard chest. His muscles shifting under my fingers.

"I know, my love," he breathed into my hair, keeping his hands to himself, his lips nowhere near where I wanted them. He was still, so still he felt like a stone sculpture against me while I tingled all over just from how close he was to me.

"It's not time yet," he told me, closing his own fingers over my hands that tugged on the fabric of his shirt. I needed the damn thing off him but he wouldn't let me have even the smallest skin-on-skin contact.

A frustrated groan stole past my lips as he propelled me away from him gently. Denying me what I craved, himself.

"I have work to do and then I need to tend to the pack. I'll be back in a few hours," he said. I wanted to cry, beg him to stay here with me, and I couldn't.

I was his luna and he was an apex now. He had responsibilities that were more important than I was.

He bent over the desk, scanned through the pile of folders stacked on it, then retrieved one and turned to face me once more.

"I need you, Regan." I hated myself for pleading, for letting my desperation out. I hated that I could feel my lips pouting at him, begging him to kiss them. He kept his green eyes on me but they were guarded, somehow distant. It hurt more than anything he could say.

And then he blinked. He leaned over, his mouth landing on mine to give me a peck of touch for a split of a second. His hand rested on my shoulder only to push me off his way as he sidestepped me. Another whimper was released from my throat as it constricted from the flow of fire. The ghost touches were excruciatingly lacking and I needed so much more.

"I know, Scarlet, and I'm going to take care of it. Soon." I'd heard that before.

He brought his hand to my hair, letting it trail down barely grazing the texture. It was hard not to fall on my knees just then and beg him to soothe the ache inside me, beg like never in my life.

"I've hardly seen you for days, Regan," I accused instead. Why was he doing this to me? Why wasn't he acting like the mate he claimed to be? Why was he denying me release?

"You're always busy with something when I come looking for you. You're always making excuses to stay away from me. Why?" My voice was even, calm when I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tell him I would go to Lucas if he kept doing this, but I knew I was never going to live up to my threat. I was going to be just pathetic. I was already pathetic begging for his time, for his hands on me, for his lips trailing on my skin.

My vision blurred with the tears I tried to hold in. I couldn't even see his face clearly, see if he felt remorse for his actions or lack of such.

He ran a hand through his hair, angling his head aside as if he couldn't look at me. I had to stay strong or I was going to break, but I couldn't stop myself from dwelling over what I didn't want to consider.

Did I do something wrong? Was it the mention of marriage that scared him away from me? Was it someone else who had piqued his interest now that he had me for himself? Or was he already tired from me?

"There's just so much to do, Scarlet. I promise you I'll try to settle things as quickly as I can and give you all my attention but, please--"

"Be patient," I finished for him. "Stay still, wait?" I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him, the same way he had just a moment ago. I had to compose myself. I had to act like my position in the pack dictated and pretend it was alright.

It wasn't. That last week of my life sucked and when your life sucks, it sucks-it undermines everything and saps your energy until there's literally nothing you find worth the effort.

I felt utterly empty just then, having the thought swarming my mind and leaving no space for argument.

I sighed and leaned against his desk as I watched him fiddle with the rim of his shirt while he searched for words but eventually came up empty. Instead of talking to me, he spun around and stormed out of the room as if it was my fault that I was feeling this way and I could do nothing but listen to his fast-paced steps as he placed even more distance between us, leaving me behind once again.

Later that night, I felt warm hands touching me, touching but not the way I needed them. Keeping my eyes shut and pretending to be asleep, I let him wrap me inside the covers. A moment later, the mattress dipped from his weight as he laid next to me. I didn't hear the shuffle of covers as he didn't slide in under but stayed on top.

It was just the taste of the sheets against my skin, not his. He didn't close the few remaining inches but kept the distance, never crossing it like there was an invisible line between us, isolating me inside the wrap of bedsheets.

Vibrations rumbled out of him as his breathing deepened, sleep taking him further away from me. I hated the sound of the deep gulps of air as I grew agonizingly aware of the tingling in my core, the wash of liquid that seeped out and saturated the material of my panties.

A wave of pain cut through me, having me gasp with the burn. It spread, the sensation like millions small needles prickling on my skin while a blade was repeatedly jabbed into my lower abdomen. Something that felt like ants crawled up and down my skin. Rubbing my palms against didn't help, instead, it only reminded me I needed more, a touch that wasn't mine.

I rolled off the bed and slipped from under the covers. The floor felt soothingly cold under my feet. The night lamp on his side was lit up, letting me see his half-illuminated peaceful face and where I went as I headed out after dressing myself in one of his T-shirts. It reached down to my knees, hiding all the important bits underneath the cotton fabric. It had his scent on it, that scent I couldn't live without, that same scent he had barely given me after our return to Fallon's Grove. I felt so pitiful to seek his scent from his clothes. I felt like I was scraping at the bottom, the very bottom of my existence.

Closing the door soundlessly behind me, I trekked down the hall to Jason's room. I knew he had to be there. He usually returned to the house with Regan.

I hesitated. I had to gather my wits before knocking. I had to look normal, as normal as the inferno inside me would allow. Was he going to laugh at me? Mock me?

I had to try. I was desperate enough-hurting too much - to venture this route. I rapped my knuckles against the massive wood as quietly as I could.

A minute later, the door of the suite swung open, a half-naked Jason peeping through the crack. "Luna?" A look of surprise draped across his face, his voice coming through shallow breaths letting me know I had most likely interrupted something.

"I need to talk to you," I told him, trying to keep the heat off my cheeks. Awkward was too weak of a word to describe the situation.

"Now?" His eyebrow nearly shot up to his hairline. "Can't it wait till morning?"

'I won't find you in the morning. He's most likely going to keep you occupied with his pack.' I wanted to say but just shook my head. "No. I need to talk to you now, and in private. Please," I added, remembering my manners at 2 AM. He frowned at me.

"It's important, Jason," I insisted, giving him my best puppy look.

He sighed. "Wait here, and it better be important," he warned before shutting the door in my face.

Several minutes later, he was fully dressed and walking by my side outside the house. I was probably being paranoid but with so many wolves within hear range I'd deemed having our conversation outside to be the better option.

"So, why did you brought me out here?" Jason asked once we were several feet into the woods. He gave me an odd look, then added, "And you're not supposed to wear this in public." He pointed at the T-shirt I'd opted for.

"We're wolves, Jason. We're used to nudity," I commented.

"True, but I don't think Regan would like it if he found out," he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. He sure wouldn't, but then I didn't like what he was doing lately either and it didn't seem to bother him. Besides, the chills on my skin felt nice. The moist ground under my bare feet felt soothing. I had every right to seek comfort where I could since he wouldn't provide it for me.

"She's in heat, isn't she?" I asked, deciding to avoid explaining my reasoning to him.

Jason gave me a suspicious look, blue eyes gleaming underneath the moonlight. It gave just enough light for his face to be visible to the eye.

"Why are you asking?" he tried carefully, the wheels in his head working, guessing my reasons for prying into his private life. I'd hoped he would be too tired to study me but obviously not.

The breeze picked up, lifting my curls up and brushing my skin with its gentle and cool fingers. I faltered where the current was stronger and enjoyed the sensation. It was good to feel at peace for a while, the lack of the flame tongues like a reprieve from hell. Yet, it was just that. A pause that didn't last more than a few moments before I had to stifle the urge to scream my frustration.

"I've been wondering what it feels like for the male," I threaded carefully, trying not to betray the catch in my breath and the rise in temperature. Maybe it was because I was in a male's company that my body reacted in this violent way, maybe it didn't matter who it was as long as that person could provide a shelter from the fire. I didn't know and I wasn't sure I really wanted to.

"Careful, Luna. You don't want to return back to him carrying my scent on you," Jason warned, pushing me away. I hadn't even realized I had leaned closer to him. I took a step back, fixing my eyes on him as I waited for my answer.

"To put it bluntly, it's a constant case of blue balls, the pull is tenfold stronger and really and I mean really hard to resist. If I go too long without it feels like I'm gonna burst or kill someone. And there's the beast too," Jason elaborated eventually, a pained look crossing his face, his teeth nearly clattering. "You know, you have the worst timing ever, Luna," he added, glaring at me.

He was the one complaining that I had interrupted his night? I pursed my lips not to snap at him.

"So, anything else you might want to know?"

I shook my head then watched him sprint back into the house. Lucky bastard.