If there was something Mila didn't want to bring, that was death. Anything but death and pain.

However she had just killed someone and it was a first. It didn't matter that the person wasn't actually a living creature but a soul bound to a body of clay, it mattered that she had stopped a heart from beating.

Mila stared at the little dust mound that Katharina was reduced to. She had used magic again and now really strong magic was coursing through her veins making her body hum and vibrate.

"It is you," said a very strange voice. It seemed familiar and foreign at the same time.

Mila turned to face the woman with many faces. She looked like all the persons Mila had ever seen into one undistinguishable face.

"Are you the Earth Goddess?"

"I am indeed," voiced Gea.

"You found me because I used magic?"

"No. I found you because my creature did. Our laws are still foreign to you, little girl. Or so it seems. A mortal goddess. I didn't think I would ever see this. Even among us gods that have seen all the unearthly creatures you are an odity."

"Helios said he cannot kill me. That we cannot kill each other. Was he wrong and you are here to end it?"

"No, he wasn't. Or not directly. Laws of our nature and creation forbid me to kill you... With my own hands. But Katharina could have killed you just fine. That being said, Helios didn't kill you because he didn't want to. He still loves whatever is in you. What is surprising is that he seems to have taken a strange liking to you personally too."

"So kill me then, if that's what you came for. You can raise Katharina again or somebody else and be done with me."

Gea looked at Mila. Her gaze was intense and exhausting. That had been the third death threat in less than twenty four hours.

Third time's a charm, I suppose.

Nobody can possibly survive that many and Mila never thought of herself as particularly lucky, the whole opposite.

"Is that a trick, little human?"

"How can that be one?" Mila was genuinely confused.

"You want me to raise creatures so your wolves attack them, so that everything turns to carnage once more and nobody wins? I have no idea how Selene did it or what role you played in it but the power that radiates from you tonight is even for the immortals something unseen."

"What wolves? They are all far away."

"Are they now? Look, most naive girl of all."

She was right. Several eyes were glowing in the dark becoming more and more.

So I did something indeed. Selene, what the fuck did I do? Or you? Or both of us? What's going on? Why is the damn moon purple?

"What do you want then?" For whatever reason, Mila though of Dasha in that instant. Dasha was brave. She would have added a 'fuckinh bitch' to the sentence but that wasn't Mila's style even if she felt like it.

Gea came close; her copper skin was reflecting the light of Mila's ivory, shinning one.

"Do you love him?"

"Who?" That was a genuine question.

Oh Lord, please don't tell me this crazy woman is in love with Erik too? Or maybe with Kiril?

"Helios, who else?"

"Hell no." The answer was too spontaneous and genuine to even seem like a lie.

"Hmm, it didn't alter your nature yet. That is odd. But anyway it doesn't matter, because I don't think you will survive tonight."

Gea put a hand on Mila's face. It was heavy and a bit cold. It smelled of damp earth and it made her very uncomfortable.
In a fit of anxiety Mila slapped furiously the hand away and Gea shrieked out in pain. There was a burning palm mark on her skin.

"This..." Gea was staring at the mark then smiled. It looked sinister. "Flames that burn too bright die down fast. You altered the flow of the univers, the music of the spheres is now a shriek and you channeled greedily too much power into you. I don't need to kill you, Milena. You are killing yourself."

The smiles transfigured her features. It was beautiful and horrible.

"Absolutely fascinating..." she muttered and disappeared.

She just disappeared. Mila couldn't believe it. Maybe the night was over after all and she could go home.

The hundreds of eyes shining in the darkness weren't much of her concern. Either Kiril or Angel commanded them so they wouldn't hurt her.

What are they doing here? Kiril must understand that making his pack stalk me is a tiny bit weird. Then again one can get me home; I am so tired.

Her polkadot summer dress was ripped apart in some places and wett. It was realistically not a bad ballance after all that happened but still.

When she lifted her gaze she noticed that the eyes were coming systematically closer and taking slowly shape.

Some of them started turning back to their human form and before Mila realized properly what was going on, she was surrounded by a lot of naked, well built... Men.

"You called for us, mistress, and we came," said one of them. He had dark hair and white skin. Mila had seen him at some point in Erik's pack but she didn't know his name neither did they ever speak.

"Who will you grant the honor to?" asked another.

"What honor?" They sounded strange all over, their pupils unnaturally dilated under strongly glowing irises.

"To be your mate in the night of the Blood Moon. This color is strange but the pull of a Blood Moon is still there. Even stronger."

"Look, guys, I am not going to choose anybody for anything. I just want to go home. Can one of you escort me?"

That sentence sounded blatantly naive after more than a year of having experienced the magical world.

"We cannot go. It's a Blood Moon. Usually it would have taken more than a hundred years yet here it is again. You are the Moon Goddess, it's your will."

"Of course..." muttered Mila. "Where are Kiril and Angel?"

"Not here," said a broad gray-haired wolf.

No shit...

"Luckily... Maybe dead and you will name new alphas or even a Lykan King."

Everyone told her so far that unmated wolves would be attracted by her scent, she had experienced it first hand with Akin but somehow it still took her by surprise.

"Don't touch her!" said a feminine voice.

A few women emerged from the shadows.

"Our alpha commanded to protect her with our life."

"But it's Blood Moon, and on Blood Moon nights the goddess always choose a companion. Besides, she smells like heaven."

The gray haired man grabbed Mila's arm. She pulled back frightened.

This cannot happen.

It was a disaster if they all felt a very emphasized mate pull towards her and she was in the middle of them.

"I am not your mate. It's a confusion and as your goddess I command you not to touch me."

It was a clear command but not one that seemed to have any effect. Suddenly another wolf jumped forward, lifted her into his arms and sprinted away.

Midd air the familiar, and so far missing wave of power erupted, stronger than before and pinned the wolf to the ground. He was whimpering and chocking on his own breath.

It was awful. Even if she didn't know him, she, or rather her embryo baby, was killing him. They had fallen to the ground together and Mila was standing up hardly, afraid of everything.

A few meters further away the females were fighting the males. Everything was so wrong. They were going crazy and it was her fault.

I am the shittiest goddess in the history of deities.

What was worse was that other males were making a circle around her that was constricting. The saw what happened to their peer but it didn't stop them because they were out of control.

And then it came again the wave that reaped down the first line of the circle. Tears were all over Mila's face when she saw them bend and choke.

"Please stop! All of you!" she cried but it didn't matter because others came and this time they grabbed her arms, shoulders, waist and hair. Everything they could grab. It felt like they wanted to tear her to pieces only to have a bit of her.

Even her blood had a purple tint. Mila watched defeated at the men become beasts that were scratching her skin in an attempt to touch her. She didn't want to use magic again because she knew it would likely kill them.

"I command you to back of now!" Kiril's voice was like thunder but even that very obvious alpha command stopped them only for an instant.

It was enough though for him to grab her by the waste and fly with her further over the water.

Thick walls of rock and ice raised from nothing around a little island in the middle of the lake.

They landed in that very spot. Kiril put her down carefully. He was looking at her very, very concerned.

"What happened?" He looked a bit tired, but was his  usual striking self and Mila couldn't take her eyes off him because he looked like hope. The white shirt he was wearing was giving him even an angelic hue. Mila was happy to see him. She had to accept the fact that lately she was always happy to see him.

"A lot of things..." Her voice almost broke.  "I killed Katharina and the Earth Goddess said I broke the universe. The moon is fucking purple, all the wolves have gone really crazy and I feel all my heartbeats in my throat."

"It's okay. Breath with me." Kiril hugged her softly. It felt like he was afraid to break her. Strangely it irritated her a bit and she pressed her trembling body hardly against him to maybe feel less of her unhealthy strong heart beats. "Think of happy and calm things."

Mila realized he always liked the sound of his voice, it had always mesmerized her. Chrystal, ice and ethernity.

"I don't have many happy things to think about. My child is a killer, willingly or not. I am a danger for other people. Michael had been right. He died being right."

"No, he wasn't right. None of this is your fault. Michael went against Erik's will and that makes him be in the wrong to begin with."

"I went to that underworld place where Erik was supposed to be but there was only pain. If he was there, he is now only pain and my heart aches."

That confession made her heartbeats even stronger, so strong, the ground beneath them trembled slightly with every beat.

"Mila, relax. Try to see this as an unbiased plea. Please don't think about Erik right now, or anything upsetting. I feel a lot a energy radiating from you and your body is under tremendous stress. Let's lay down."

Mila let her body fall on the grass. She was looking at the stars and the purple moon. Kiril lay down besides her, with his hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Just breath."

A breeze blew softly and some snowflakes came onto it. They grew unusually big, untill they became butterflies with lacey wings like a snow crystal.

"They look like a dream. Like a dream I once had when I was little. Ice butterflies seemed such a beautiful idea."

"They are beautiful."

"Did you see that in my head? Do you still look in my head?" Mila didn't have the energy to be upset. She just continues watching the butterflies dance over them.

"Yes. But a long time ago. The first time we met. I am sorry. I couldn't help it. You flashed me like thunder and I wanted to know everything you were. You don't have to forgive me, but please don't think of it now to get angry. You can be angry tomorrow after the sun is up."

"I am not angry. These are just butterflies. And those were only thoughts nobody care about till you did. I don't mind that you saw them, I am just ashamed of everything else you might have seen. I used to be very ordinary and miserable. Now I am not ordinary anymore but still miserable and spreading misery."

It seemed for a while that her heartbeats were calming down until a strong one made her gasp for air.

(Here comes smut. 🔥)

"My goodness, fuck her already. This is the longest and most stupid foreplay I have ever seen. What's wrong with you, Kiril?"

When Mila blinked Selene away she saw the tiny bit of confusion changing into awareness on his face.

"Mila we don't have to do anything."

After another beat, Mila felt a bit dizzy.

"It might prevent her from dying, you idiot! I was always overflowing with power in Blood Moon nights and mating with an alpha helped to grownd me and release that exces power. Our little Doe here, made even more power come together and she can clearly not handle it. She is giving herself a heart attack."

Kiril growled as response.

Mila, that wasn't temporarily in control of her body, climbed over him and pressed his shoulders to the ground. Then she kissed him wet, wild and open-mouthed.

"You like it. You are mad about her. Now fuck her, so she hopefully doesn't die. I don't know which of us would be sadder if she does."

"Fuck off," whispered Kiril. Ironically Mila blinked and shifted back just in time to heart that.

"I am sorry! Sometimes she just takes over and I can't help it."

The next heart beat hurt. Mila knew enough about the human body without magic to be aware that it was really bad.

"Can you do it?"

"What?"

"Sleep with me."

Mila concluded that she wanted to survive. She was very afraid and wanted to survive so she had to try.

Selene wants me to survive. She must be genuine. It does not mean you want it, or you love him. It does not mean shit. It only means you want to survive.

"There has to be some other way, Mila."

"Probably but I don't know one right now and I feel my heart bursting. It cannot be that horrible. Please..."

That was one of the most awkward conversations she had with a guy. But somehow she had know from the first moment they met that their relationship wasn't going to be a straight forward one.

"I thought you said I feel like your mate and crap like that and there were times when you acted as if you did want me. Why can you do me this one favor? Only freaking once so I don't die!" That was said in an irritated tone while she was still on top of him.

"Selene!" Kiril growled with exposed fangs. "There has to be another way. You are doing this only to take revenge on me. Please. What other way?"

Mila shrieked back. For the first time since probably the beginning, Selene stood silent. Maybe it was out of spite but the reason became less relevant in the face of thundering heartbeats.

Slight shivers were shaking her body and Kiril's reaction was not agressive anymore. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay, I will do everything you want, just calm down."

She didn't want to. Everything was so frightening and there were several other feelings mingled in the fear.

"Don't cry. It's going to be fine." Most of their encounters served to give Mila certainty that Kiril was never going to be the one to dry her tears and hold her hand but there it was and it felt so right and comforting she felt like chocking on the guilt and wanting to drawn in the wholesomeness of the moment, both at the same time.

"It does not mean that I want to. Because I don't. It does not mean I will enjoy it, because I will not. It doesn't mean anything else than me wanting to survive," said Mila among hickups.

"I know." Kiril's answer was stern and serious. He wasn't smiling, but he gave her the gentlest of kisses, just like a summer breeze.

"I never wanted to kiss you. It was just a mistake," added Mila. All the things she was saying felt like the truth and the biggest of lies. Because unsurprisingly feelings are like that sometimes, complex and confusing.

"I understand." It were just two simple words but somehow it looked like a little light extinguished in his eyes at that point. "You don't need to worry. Everything will be as you want it to be. You are nothing to me and never will be," he said, and kissed her on the lips, a bit harder than before.

"We don't need to kiss," said Mila.

"No. But I want to. That's my condition. This is my single chance at sex with my mate and I do want kisses. Okay?"

Mila just nodded. She could somehow empathize but didn't want to, as she also didn't want to make it more likely for her to enjoy it.

However, when Kiril lifted her almost ragged polka dot summer dress over her head, and she was left only in panties she couldn't help blushing.

As weird as it was, it was helping. His touch made the heart beats get a bit less intense.

"It's working."

"I know." And there was a tiny smile on his lips. "You know, particularly tonight, you can heal yourself," he said then, tracing very gently the scratches on her abdomen.

It was still flat, despite the pregnancy. Erik's dark mark looked like an extinguished fire on a field of snow.

He was looking at her in sheer adoration, as if she was indeed the goddess everyone claimed her to be and it made her get blush and blushing made her angry.

So she pressed him again down on the grass and buried her blazing face in the crook of his neck while unbuttoning clumsily his white shirt.

"Touch me. So I won't die..." she said with a hint of tears in her voice.

"You won't.  I would do anything so you won't," said Kiril, tore the rest of the buttons of and tossed the shirt somewhere in the dark.

His skin felt pleasantly cool on her blazing cheeks and torso. It was again as if she could breath deeper as if it felt annoyingly right.

Not daring to look at him, in his scrutinizing, irritating yet disturbingly beautiful eyes, she moved her hand over his colar bone, down his chest and abdomen. Her fingers were shaking. Somehow she knew it was not from the sickness of power but from anticipation.

"It looks different. The alpha marking. And it feels like it humms when I touch it. What did you do?"

"Nothing... I... Angel did... It doesn't matter."

It really didn't at that point to Mila. She felt his hands on her back moving in gentle caresses down her legs. It felt so good it made her thoughts incoherent.

It was so wrong that she enjoyed it so much. It was so wrong and frustrating and good and guilt inducing.

Angry with herself, Mila sat up abruptly, unbuttoned his pants and eased herself onto him so quickly and unexpectedly he couldn't protest just sigh.

It hurt her and she enjoyed the pain that was catering to the guilt she was feeling.

"No." Kiril whispered slowly. It was almost a hiss.

His hair was spread among the grass, his skin white, shinig in the violet moon light, like a living, breathing work of art that made Mila ache and long.

"No?"

As a much as she wanted to not focus on it, it irritated her. For her, as much as she wanted to deny it, it felt really good. She moved her hips almost out of control and it felt good. All the strange sensations, the energy seeping from her body and that weird pleasurable effect the magic had now.

It cannot be that bad for him, or can it?

Mila sighed from the surprise and abruptness of the movement as well of how it made her feel, when he sat up and  cupped her face.

"No. I want you to look at me."

And Mila could not look away. If she would ever have thought about it, that would not have been the way she imagined Kiril would have sex. Tightly hugged, looking into each other's eyes.

However, when he started moving, Mila understood a bit what the fuss was about. She bit her lips to no make sounds that were such an obvious display of what she was feeling but it felt too good.

And then came his magic, enveloping her and showing her everything he was, every thought and everything feeling.

Though Mila knew little and less about magic, that time, instinctually, her borrowed, distructive magic reached back and formed a chain with his.

There were the stars above them and the violet moon and the whole universe enveloped in a kiss, a gaze, many caresses and an ambiguous relationship that felt blazing hot and all consuming.

When all became too much Mila came, biting into his shoulder until drawing blood and Kiril whispered some words she didn't understand and when she lifted her eyes to the sky, the moon was bleeding rainbows.

"I think I should not he around people until the baby is born. I am dangerous to everyone except you," she shispered into the night, still hugging him, to not look into his eyes.

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know. You can choose. Just away where I cannot hurt anybody."

"Alright."

__________________________________

This is not the end. As I hope you imagine meanwhile.

I know it's a bit controversial but well nobody cares that much, I think 😂.

Who do YOU ship Mila with? (Kiril? Erik? Someone else? Alone?)

And Kiril? Who would be his best match?