Chapter 27 - Mother

Of all the ghosts to haunt her mind, Isaac had to bring up her mother.

Mikayla stumbled into her room, slamming the door behind her and crumpling to the floor.

It was only a matter of time, she thought, clutching her head and trying to drive out the apparition.

Only a matter of time before it became too much. It was unbearable, wasn’t it? Knowing that you gave birth to a monster—the monster that would one day kill the love of your life.

The monster that he showered with love.

You knew it would happen, didn’t you?

She saw her mother’s face in her mind—her long black hair that framed her beautiful almond-shaped face. Behind long thick lashes, her dark eyes glared back without remorse. Her lips pulled down in a frown of contempt.

You hated that he loved me. You were jealous. That’s why you didn’t want me to look at his picture. You wanted him all to yourself.

Her mother’s lips parted, and a hollow accusation whispered in Mikayla’s ear.

‘You destroyed our family.’

Mikayla gritted her teeth as she clenched her hands into fists, the leather gloves groaning from the movement.

Go ahead—put the blame on me. You always did. It was so much easier to blame me, wasn’t it? But you’re wrong. I didn’t destroy our family—you did.

Tearing her gloves off, she threw them at the dresser and fell back on her hands and knees.

You abandoned me… and I will never forgive you.

“Mikay?”

A gasp escaped her lips at the sound of Isaac’s voice outside her door. She brought one leg up and whirled around to block the door with her body, but Isaac was already slipping through it.

“Get out!” she screamed.

Climbing to her feet proved a treacherous feat and she barely made it to the edge of her bed before she collapsed. She clawed at the comforter between her fingers; her exposed skin drawing a sharp breath as she stared at her hands.

He came up behind her and put his hands on the edge of her shoulders.

She spun around to punch him, but he grabbed her arm and held her steady.

Trembling under his grip, she tried to find her breath, tried to regain composure, but she knew she was breaking down and her strength was slipping fast. She kept her head lowered, denying Isaac from seeing the storm raging through her eyes.

“Mikay?”

“D-Don’t…”

Concern whispered from his lips, while her voice sounded like a child’s heavy with emotion. A prickling sensation behind her eyes forced her to close them as she fought to swallow the lump in her throat.

Isaac pulled her into his arms and she let him. His scent filled her senses and together with his warmth, she could feel herself relaxing a little. His hammering heartbeat slowed to a calm, steady rhythm and she found her own ease up to match his. Gripping his shirt tightly, she released herself of her locked up tribulations and cried into his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he said finally, smoothing the back of her head with his hand and sending shivers up her spine.

She hiccupped.  Still clinging to him, she shook her head into his shoulder.

I’m a wreck, and I can’t even admit it.

She allowed herself this moment of peace, thinking about how her grandmother had done the same after Mikayla entered her care. All of those times she woke from night terrors of monsters lurking in the shadows, and her mother slamming her into a metal crate and locking her in darkness, amá sání had been there to pull her into a safe and comforting embrace.

‘It’s okay, áłchíní. Your amá sání is here, and she will protect you and take care of you.’

Sniffling, Mikayla turned her head so that the back of her head brushed against his cheek. She stayed like that for a minute as the memory of her grandmother faded, and she returned her attention to the boy she was clutching. Remembering her exposed skin so close to making contact with his, she pulled away and went to her dresser to retrieve her gloves.

“Feel any better now?”

She shrugged, picking her gloves up and not bothering to look over her shoulder at him. “Whatever,” she croaked.

There was still a hint of emotion gripping her throat tighty, but she swallowed and tried to push it down. She needed to pull herself together. She couldn’t let her emotions get the best of her in front of Isaac.

“Why are you putting those back on?” he asked as she shoved her hands into the gloves.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, all of the tension returning from that brief moment of shared tranquillity. “Because you’re here.”

“So?”

“So, I have to wear them.”

“That makes no sense,” he said with a shake of his head.

Her gaze shifted to the floor as she rolled her long sleeves over her wrists. “Whoever said life made sense?”

He sighed. “Why do you have to be like that? You’re so stubborn.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Hey, at least my intentions are good.”

“What makes you think mine aren’t either?”

He brushed his hair back with his hand and let his eyes wander around the room for a bit. With a sigh, he said, “Well, are we just going to stand around here and fire missiles at each other, or are we going to sit down and talk about what’s bothering you?”

She scowled at him. “Neither. You’re leaving.”

He groaned in exasperation and flopped back on her bed. “You realize that this is how we got started on the subject of your mother anyway, right?”

She gritted her teeth as she watched him tuck his hands behind his head and stare up at her ceiling. Clearly, he had no intentions of leaving until he got what he wanted out of her. “Are you comfortable now?”

“Ah, there’s that attitude again. And yes, I am. Thank you.”

She feared she would crack her teeth with the applied pressure to her jaw, so she turned her back to him and closed her eyes. Unclenching her jaw, she inhaled and exhaled, imagining steam blowing from her ears.

He is really pushing his luck this time, she thought as she tried to calm herself down. Camping out on her bed until she would talk was very bold of him.

A curious thought drifted into her head. Wouldn’t any normal girl be jumping into bed next to him? He was on her bed, and they were alone in her room.

Wait… Was he invited her to lie down next to him without words?

She turned back to study him cautiously. Quickly, she turned away again. No, that’s crazy, she told herself. Where did you get that idea?

Although, it does look inviting…

Seriously, what is wrong with you?

A growl rumbled through her throat. “Goddammit! Will you get off my bed already!”

She stormed over to him and reach for his elbow to try and yank him up, only to find herself on her back with him on top of her.

“What the fuck?” she shouted, trying to figure out how he had managed to grab her, flip her over, and straddle her with her arms pinned over her head.

He grinned down at her, a look of triumph lighting up his face. His slightly shaggy brown hair fell around his face and the sunlight from the window behind him gave him almost a luminous glow. She traced his smug jawline with her eyes, avoiding his gaze as much as possible.

Dammit, there is such a thing as the Devil—and he’s it!

“Do you really want me to hurt you?” she growled, glancing up momentarily into his eyes.

This was all fun and games to him, but she knew that she had to be careful.

“I’m not scared of you,” he goaded.

“Obviously, you’ve lost your sanity,” she snapped. “Maybe I need to smack some sense back into your thick skull? Don’t forget, I’m the one who threw a fucking desk against the wall and broke it in half.”

He cocked his pierced eyebrow at her. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten. The entire school is still talking about it.”

Shit. She curved her lips up in a grin. “I guess that just makes me more badass, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, well, you’ve certainly made a name for yourself.”

Maybe that was a good thing, and maybe it wasn’t, she wasn’t sure. It could generate more attention, but maybe it would work in her favor. She would have to use it that way to keep curiosity levels down.

Nevertheless, he was still straddling her and an uneasy feeling began to creep up on her. “So are you going to get off me, or do I have to get physical with you?”

He smirked. “Sounds kinky.”

She groaned and pushed him off of her. “You’re such a guy!”

“Of course. Would you prefer that I was a girl instead?”

She shot him a glare as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

She stared at him momentarily, thinking, How the fuck does he do that?  Snapping out of her ravine, she scowled at him and said, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Hey, I’m brilliant. You’re just too stubborn to see it.”

She growled a throaty noise as she turned away from him.

“I mean, just moments ago, you were screaming at me to leave, then you were bawling your eyes out over your mother and clinging desperately to me in my arms—which was pretty sweet if I might add—”

“Shut up.”

“And now you’re all calm and opening up to me. If that doesn’t make me a genius, I don’t know what will.”

“Egotistical much?”

He shrugged, his humor fading quickly growing increasingly serious. “If that’s how you want to look at it, fine. But I helped you to feel better, so I guess my work is done here.”

Rising from the bed, he went to the door, but she stopped him. For reasons unknown, she found herself gripping his arm and the words tumbling from her mouth.

“She committed suicide.”

Since her gaze was lowered, she didn’t see his reaction—and she didn’t want to.

It was only half true, after all.

“Shit,” he murmured, wrapping her back in his arms and pulling her close.

She buried her face in his shoulder again, closed her eyes, and allowed his scent to consume her once more. Being with him in this moment made her forget about the painful memories and the ache in her heart.

It was wrong, and dangerously so, but she wanted it, craved it, like she did as a child with her grandmother there as her rock.

She pulled away before he got any ideas of touching her face or neck, but kept her gaze lowered.

“Mikay, I’m so sorry,” he said. “It wasn’t your fault, okay? Don’t blame yourself for something like that.”

She nodded, but all she could think about was the way her mother had looked at her, with tears falling down her cheeks and a hysterical look in her eyes. A wicked smile was on her face as she beckoned her child over.

Mikayla remembered hesitantly walking over to her mother lying on the couch with her wedding album open next to her. A picture of her mother and father smiling happily stared up at her.

‘Come here, Mikayla. Mommy loves you. Give her a kiss.’

 ...

Author's Note: Her mother's last words have haunted me for months... Your thoughts/reactions?