DESOLATION

Chanyeol's p.o.v.

When they finally made it to school Baekhyun mumbled, "You can pretend not to know me, I don't care," before walking away and leaving Chanyeol standing in front of the main door, completely shocked by Baekhyun's words.

Was he serious? Chanyeol thought. Doesn't he realize we're friends, in and out of school? Oh, Baekhyun, I want to help you, but you're making it so hard . . .

Baekhyun's p.o.v.

Baekhyun didn't expect Chanyeol to follow him, and he didn't. The fact made Baekhyun feel even worse, if that was even humanly possible. Baekhyun walked the halls feeling like a ghost, and every time someone would bump into him or accidentally knock him down it would further prove his point. They didn't even apologize, it was as if he didn't exist.

Heaving a sigh, Baekhyun walked into his first class and to his seat next to Chanyeol. When Baekhyun sat down, he expected Chanyeol to at least acknowledge his presences, maybe smile like he does, but he didn't. Chanyeol didn't even glance at him, further making Baekhyun believe he didn't exist; making him feel unwanted.

Baekhyun was consumed in despair the whole rest of class, and he couldn't help the self-harming thoughts that withered around inside his head like poison.

Chanyeol's p.o.v.

Chanyeol wanted to talk to Baekhyun, but after want he said to him, Chanyeol didn't know if he wanted him too. So Chanyeol settled for sneaking glances at him every time Baekhyun wasn't looking or had his head on the table with his eyes closed, and that was pretty often. Baekhyun's behavior was concerning Chanyeol — he hadn't even changed out of Chanyeol's pants like he planned on doing. But maybe he was just tired, which was understandable because Baekhyun had had that nightmare which resulted in a restless sleep. Yet despite that fact, something still nagged at Chanyeol.

His worry for the midget started to grow, increasing to tenfold. He had to do something . . .

Baekhyun's p.o.v.

Baekhyun could feel him staring at him, and it was staring to bug him. Why can't he just stop staring? Why can't he just leave me alone? Why does he care?

Baekhyun buried his head in his arms and bit his lip to hold back the sob that threatened to burst forth. He refused to cry. He refused to let him affect him. He refused him.

As Baekhyun was fighting in vain to hold back the tears he felt him tap his arm. Oh, great, he thought. Now I'm visible again. What does he want? I wish I was invisible again . . .

Baekhyun pulled his head from the crook of his arm and peeked over his shoulder. He saw Chanyeol peeking at him from the corner of his eye, and Baekhyun glared back at him. Chanyeol blinked in surprise then jerked his chin towards the table at the piece of paper. Sighing heavily, Baekhyun unfolded it to properly read the sloppily written words.

I know you said you didn't want to talk to me, but I'm worried about you, Baekhyun. So please, Chanyeol had written.

Baekhyun scoffed and dug threw his bag until he found a pencil and quickly wrote, What should make me believe you? You're the one ignoring me. Then he crumpled it up harshly, tearing it a little bit, before chucking it at Chanyeol's forehead out of anger.

The paper missed his face and instead hit his shoulder. Baekhyun tucked his head into his arms, wishing to disappear.

Chanyeol's p.o.v.

Chanyeol was in shock. He always seemed to be in shock when it came to this midget. Why was he being so harsh?

Chanyeol sighed and quickly unfolded the now tattered paper and read what Baekhyun had written. Baekhyun's broken words made his heart squeeze, and like the night before he felt the uncontrollable urge to comfort him. Chanyeol hated this. What had happened to Baekhyun in his past to make him behave so harshly; to make him build walls whenever someone wanted to get close to him? What piece was Chanyeol missing to this crucial puzzle?

Not knowing what else to do, Chanyeol hurriedly wrote something down before passing it to Baekhyun. Baekhyun glanced at it before meeting Chanyeol's eyes, then he stood up and grabbed his bag, and didn't even bother when the teacher demanded to know where he was going.

Why does he have to make everything so difficult? Chanyeol thought. Sighing, Chanyeol stood up as well and muttered to the teacher that he had to use the restroom.

When Chanyeol shut the door behind him, he turned around to see Baekhyun with his arms folded across his chest, glaring up at him. Chanyeol bit his lip, suddenly nervous. "Thanks for agreeing to talk," Chanyeol murmured awkwardly.

Baekhyun shrugged. "It was the only way to get you to leave me alone," Baekhyun grumbled.

Chanyeol frowned and clenched his fist. He was starting to reach the limit of his patience, and he had a lot of patience. "Baekhyun, what the fuck is your problem!?" Chanyeol hissed, his anger finally bursting forth. Baekhyun sucked in a breath and Chanyeol instantly felt regret, but what else was he suppose to do? Baekhyun wouldn't talk to him, even when he asked nicely, so now he had to be harsh and he didn't like it. "Baekhyun, I'm sorry, but I've asked you repeatedly if you're okay and you always brush me off. I've reached my limit, so please, talk to me."

3rd p.o.v.

Baekhyun bit his lip. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't break.

"Chanyeol, there are things in my life best kept in the dark, trust me," Baekhyun emphasized.

Chanyeol drew in a sharp breath and said, "I didn't ask for you to spill all your secrets to me. I just simply want you to talk. Maybe you could even tell me what really happened to your forehead, because I don't believe for one second you hit your head on your closet door. You don't seem that careless to me."

"I did hit it on my closet door," Baekhyun said through clenched teeth.

Chanyeol wanted to scream. He wanted to shake the truth from him. But he refrained to clenching his fists and saying as calmly as he could, "Baekhyun, it's kinda hard to believe you when you're clenching your teeth like that."

"Do you want me to break?" Baekhyun asked. "Because I am so close to snapped right now, I can see it, touch it even. Chanyeol, do have any idea what that feels like? To constantly feel like you're on the verge of falling off a cliff? No? Then how could you possibly know how I feel? How could you possibly expect me to explain it to you, and for you to understand if you've never felt it? You can't teach someone this kind of pain, you live this pain."

Baekhyun's words . . . Baekhyun's words were filled with so much sorrow, so much hate, so much self-loathing it was a wonder he hadn't drowned in it yet.

"You're right," Chanyeol whispered, "I can't possibly imagine your pain, but if you tell me maybe I can learn to understand. Please, Baekhyun, just give me a chance. Just let me in."

"But I don't want you to ever be sad, Chanyeol. You're the happy virus, I can't break that," Baekhyun whispered.

"But I am breaking," Chanyeol whispered.

Baekhyun sucked in a breath, and fighting back the tears he threw his arms around Chanyeol's neck and hung on for dear life. Maybe Chanyeol can be my life preserver, Baekhyun thought. Maybe with him, I won't feel so broken anymore. Maybe with him, I'll want to live to see the morning sun. Maybe with him, I can learn to feel again. Maybe with him, I can learn to love again . . .
   
Maybe with him, I will feel whole again.

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Author's Notes

An update as promised. 😊 As a gift to my reader's on my birthday, I'll be posting chapter five right after this.

I hope you enjoyed the update! Please don't forget to vote, comment, and share with your friends.

Well, until next time.... 🌸🌸