(Earlier before)

An unknown woman gasped for air under the rubble. Her ears ringing from the pain as she tried desperately to cling onto life. She stared up at the night sky, wondering if this was the last thing she would see.

But something caught her attention, there, she landed her eyes on one titan. One titan, she knew well.

"Y-Y/n...?" she asked.

----

"Today marked Eldian's long awaited revenge against the enemies who have caused us so many generations of pain and suffering. I remember that night being blurred, coming off some sort of euphoria. It felt so unreal. But this was only the beginning. It wouldn't be long before Marley responds to our attacks. I shouldn't be writing given my circumstances, but I must include what I remember now."

You wrote about everything that happened. You could feel the adrenaline wearing off as you took moments of pausing. You could occasionally feel Eren glancing at you, possibly impressed by your dedication.

Suddenly, you stopped. Why did this thought suddenly occur to you now? You let out a shaky chuckle.

"My mom..." you spoke.

"What?" This caught everyone in the room's attention.

"I think she might have been in the audience..."

No one dared to say anything else. Though you can tell some of them felt worse about the situation. Eren, on the other hand, you sensed had almost no regrets. You looked over at him.

You reached out your hand and poked his arm. Grabbing his attention. You glanced back at the others to make sure the others weren't paying attention before gesturing to a page in your drafted book.

There were a few words that were circled, revealing a secret message only you and Eren could understand. One of the ways of silent communication you two have developed together a while back.

This exchange went on for a little while. No one noticed the silent dispute you and Eren were having in the background. You only drew attention to yourself once you got up, your expression clearly upset. You began to walk out the room.

"Y/N, you shouldn't be walking."

"I'm fine, dammit! I–" you inhaled deeply to calm yourself down a bit.

"I'm fine, I just need to walk for a bit." you replied, not looking back to face the group.

Eren watched you leave. A moment of deep emotion flashed through his eyes before it faded back into being empty.

—

"Eren, you bastard. How can you be so selfish!?" you thought, feeling sick to your stomach as you tried to keep it together.

"Hey, Y/N! Come join the party!" Connie called you over.

You made your way over there, Jean quickly took notice of your expression.

"Woah, are you okay?"

"You're asking me that? Why wouldn't I be?" you looked away slightly.

"Sorry...I'm just—everything's not so great."

"Then what are you doing out here? You should be resting."

"You're right...but walking is a little better. Besides, I want to capture as much of this experience as I can. This is going to be recorded in the future."

You gasped as Connie wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"Hell yeah! This is going down in history!!!" He yelled, loud enough for the other soldiers in the room.

They all cheered at the idea of that.

"Wait! I think I heard something!" Sasha spoke.

"Aw come on, Sasha. You're probably being paranoid! It's a party~!" one soldier said.

You however believed her.

"Where?" you immediately asked. Sasha looked towards the opening of the blimp.

You stared at the spot long and hard, your eyes squinting. Suddenly, you could sense a wave of desperation and anger began to overwhelm you.

Oh no...

"Shit!" you cursed. But before you could warn anyone, the intruders already made their way on board.

You dashed forward out of the crowd, your eyes made contact with angered brown ones. Gabi...

"Gabi, wait!" Falco shouted, but his words went by unheard as she already began aiming her gun.

"GABI, STOP!" you shouted, getting in front of her aim.

The commotion got everyone's attention, it didn't take long for panic to sink in and hostility to abrupt.

"What the–!?"

"Intruders!!!"

"You..." Gabi stared at you with deep hatred.

"Y/N!" Sasha shouted.

"Y/n! STEP BACK!" Jean ordered you.

"Don't shoot!"

"Put the gun down!"

You could see people getting ready to jump in, which only caused Gabi to flail her gun around, willing to shoot at anyone she had her eyes on.

"EVERYONE STAND DOWN!" you shouted.

"Gabi, please!" Falco pleaded.

"Shut up, Falco!" Gabi's aim went back to you.

The emotions you felt from her, the heavy anger. She was seeing red, and you were feeling every ounce of her hatred and despair. You gritted your teeth, trying to not let her anger corrupt you.

"You're trying to play the hero, now!? You got some nerve! Showing your face in front of me again! You—you tricked us! Everything you said to me back then was a damn lie, wasn't it!? You played Reiner for a fool, and you tried to do the same to us!!"

"Gabi...Just listen—"

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" she clocked the gun, erupting more panic shouts.

"Zofia and Udo...are dead! DEAD! They're not coming back! Crushed to death because of you! ALL OF YOU!" tears streamed down her face.

You expected something like this to happen but why did that still hurt to hear that?

"You shoot her, you're fucking dead!" Jean yelled.

"Don't shoot, please!!" Sasha begged.

"Y/n! What are you doing!? Get away!" Connie shouted.

Jean, Connie, and Sasha were getting ready to retaliate, as well as the other soldiers.

"STOP! None of you move! If you do, she'll shoot!"

Gabi let out a shaky laugh, tears continuing streaming down her blood-lust expression.

"The only truthful thing you said all day! You're right, I will shoot! Put a hole right into your damn skull!"

"..." you stayed quiet for a moment. Your face becomes neutral as you put your hands up, slowly walking towards Gabi.

Gabi could have shot you in that instant, but something compelled her not to. You dropped in front of her. Her gun inches away from your face.

"Do it then...take the shot."

Gabi's eyes widened, not expecting that response at all. Your friends began erupting at the idea.

"Y/N, NO!"

"What are you doing!?"

"W-what?" Gabi was confused now.

"I'm not afraid of dying. I learned to accept it once I was given this position. This anger you're feeling Gabi, I can sense it. It's my ability after all, but you already knew that."

"..." Gabi said nothing.

"But that also means I understand what you're feeling. You're right, I did betray you two. If killing the enemy is what you so desire, then do it. But it won't undo what just happened." you explained.

"It won't bring Zofia and Udo back. It won't bring justice to everything we caused. Think about Gabi. This has been happening to all the Eldians on Paradis Island for decades. It was the cause of Reiner's choice that led up to this point."

Gabi's hands began to shake, her aim still on you. Her fingers were on the trigger, but she did not take the shot.

Meanwhile, Jean, Connie, and Sasha were trying to figure out what were you doing. Although on edge since you were practically seconds from being shot in the head, you were doing a great job trying to diffuse the situation.

Could this be the result of your titan ability or something you could always do?

"You're a smart girl, right? What do you think is going to happen to you once the people of Marley don't need you anymore? You think you'll be seen as heroes to them? Written in their history as some kind of legend? No matter what, they'll always see you as an Eldian, a devil. Just like the rest of the world."

"Shut up, SHUT UP!"

"Gabi, stop! PLEASE!" Falco begged. You looked over at him.

"Falco...I'm sorry. All of this isn't your fault. Don't let any of this burden you." Falco only stared at you with teary eyes. He let out a choked sob before looking away.

"How did she know?" he thought.

"You want to know my reason for becoming a traitor, Gabi? I saw no point in the warrior unit, fighting against my own people. Though I can't forgive what the royal family had done to my ancestor in the past, we're fighting the wrong side."

You looked at Gabi, your words were not reaching her. But she was at least still listening to you. She seemed to be conflicted with herself.

"I guess what I'm saying is meaningless to you. Stubborn just like Reiner. Guess I have no choice but to die, huh? Whenever you're ready, Gabi."

Your friends erupted in panic cries; however they still had their trust in you.

Silence fell as everyone awaited what happened next. Gabi's hands continued to shake as tears streamed down her face. This wasn't the scenario she imagined.

She wanted you to be begging for your life, begging for forgiveness as she shot you in cold blood. But here you are, willing to die for your causes. How else should she react!?

"Although I hated her for what she did. She still kept my respect." Reiner's words came through her head.

Her eyes went towards Falco, he stared back at her. His eyes begged her not to shoot. And for a moment, she didn't think she wanted to.

"Why...? Why...?" she cried, she began to slowly lower her weapon.

However, seeing this as a chance, your friends went to intervene.

"Y/N!!" Your eyes widened as you heard footsteps. Gabi snapped out of it and began to take aim at them.

"NOO!" you screamed, grabbing onto the gun. You tried to aim it away.

"Gabi, NO!" Falco intervened, trying to get the gun away from her.

Gabi aimed towards you again, Falco pushed against her body to stop her. 

*BANG*

"AAA–!" you screamed as you felt the bullet graze your cheek. Your eyes were closed, and your ears were ringing from the bullet flying past your sense of hearing.

You opened your eyes, going into a panic.

"Is everyone alright!?" you asked. You looked around frantically, everyone seemed fine. Your three friends were at your side, looking disheveled from the event.

"I think I'm okay..." Connie replied. Sasha's face looked pained.

"Sasha...?" you asked.

"Grk–!" she spat out blood before falling onto the floor. Your eyes widened.

"SASHA...?!" you began to cry out.

No...

"No, no, no, no, no!" you began to cry as you went to her side. A gunshot wound clear on her side, you wasted no time adding pressure to it.

"SASHA!" You heard Connie yell.

Falco fell to his knees while Gabi just stared forward. All hell broke loose as the soldiers surrounded both of them and began beating them up continuously until they both knocked out.

Connie and Jean surrounded you and Sasha, they were going into a panic.

"Hold pressure on the wound!!" you ordered. You brought Connie's hands down onto her side, positioning them correctly.

"Keep pressure on it!"

"Grk! AAAGH!" Sasha grunted and squirmed around from the pain, she started to push his hands back.

"Sasha, it's okay!" Connie cried.

"Let him do it Sasha!"

"I know it hurts! Just stay with us!" You said to her as you tried examining the wound.

"What do we do!?" Connie asked.

You moved Connie's hand slightly to examine the wound, it was no use. The bullet was deep inside, removing it now would cause further damage.

"The bullet can't be removed here, she needs help!" you explained.

"Keep adding pressure!" you yelled at Jean.

"Guys...? What's going on? Why is everyone screaming?" Sasha weakly asked.

Your breathing quickened, unable to answer her.

"Y/N...? You're hurt..." her eyes on your bleeding cheek.

"I'm fine...I'm fine..." you cried. You took her hand.

You watch her lose consciousness over and over, each time, she was whimpering in pain and asking questions.

"This hurts..."

"I know..." you cried.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Yeah...I'm fine! You'll be too!"

Her eyes shifted away.

"M-meat..." Sasha muttered before you felt her hands turn cold. The light leaving her eyes.

"...Sasha...? SASHA?!" you screamed.

Connie got up and sprinted off to a run to the control room.

"I'll never forget her cold dead hand in mine. Her blood stained my hands. Her blood both physically and figuratively on my hands...

Jean told me my wails and cries haunted him. He was upset he couldn't do anything to console me. Nothing he could do at all."

Your cries filled up the room as you mourned. Jean tried his best to console you, but you pushed him away, telling him to get help.

"Y/N, she's gone! We can't do anything else!"

"Please, please! Get her up!" you cried out.

You continued to wail out Mikasa and Armin came running to the scene.

"...SASHA..!" Armin cried out. Mikasa fell to her knees.

They were both a crying mess, but you were inconsolable. You watched Sasha die. You couldn't save her...you couldn't prevent the inevitable.

You refused to leave her side. You hugged her body, crying out apologies.

"Please...please don't leave me...!"

Through your cries, you could have sworn you heard her voice. Felt her emotions.

"Don't cry, Y/n..."

Your cries slowed and stopped. You went hauntingly quiet, which surprised Armin and Mikasa. Armin whispered your name, you didn't reply. Your red puffy, tear-stained eyes stared down at Sasha's light-less dead ones.

You said nothing as you gently laid her body back down. You closed her eyes and began taking off your trench coat. You placed it over her body, so nobody else would witness the sight.

You looked at the unconscious bodies of Gabi and Falco, you wanted to get angry. Wanted to do something to them, but what would that do? You'll only be proving yourself a hypocrite.

"A friend for a friend, huh Gabi?" you thought.

Without another word, you got up and slowly made your way out of the room. Mikasa and Armin wanted to follow you, but something told them that wasn't a good idea.

"Y/n...!" Hange said your name as you entered the room. They opened their mouth to say something, but instantly fell quiet once they saw your face.

You walked past them, as well as Connie and Captain. As you were passing Eren, you saw his expression out of the corner of your eye.

"I'll never forget the face he made. He was smiling. Although reading this, you might think he was a psychopath for even laughing at the death of a dear friend. If it wasn't for my ability and from my early suspicions...I would have thought the same. Eren was breaking down at the news in his own way. He knew he was somewhat to blame for her death."