t w e n t y n i n e ;

She held him tightly, sobbing into his chest, while Seville and Scarlet looked on with sympathy. Cedar could only glare at the dark haired boy but neither said nor did anything to stop them. But Raven seemed very uncomfortable. Still, he gave her the benefit of the doubt and let her hug him. He stood there motionless, not moving a single muscle to hug her in return. Roseanne stood by right next to them, annoyance bubbling in her heart at both of them. At her for seeking comfort for someone other than her own boyfriend, and at him for letting it happen. She knew he was like that though. Sometimes he found it really difficult to speak up and stand up to others. But as the leader of their mission she knew he would have to step up to the challenge eventually. He couldn't just let the other crew members, and by association Ivory, just do what they wanted with him.

Roseanne crossed her arms over her chest as she stood by as well. That was when Scarlet went over to her side and whispered to her with hints of amusement that she was clearly trying to hide and disguise as sympathy. But she knew it was all an act, and she knew that it bothered Roseanne. That was why she in turn found it all so amusing. "Ivy has anxiety." She said to her, and of course it was something they had all heard before when they went on their camping trip that previous week. Roseanne remembered perfectly the way Ivory made herself out to be the victim when the boys played a prank on the girls on the way back down from the mountain. Scarlet continued. "I think its sweet that Raven's here to offer her some support. Maybe you should give her a hug too."

The pink haired girl refused with a small shake of her head. "No thanks. Plus, I don't think she'd like a hug from me. She got what she wanted." Roseanne said as she looked towards Ivory crying into Raven's chest. Her current room mate and crush at the moment shot her an apologetic look, but she looked away from him when they locked eyed, nose in the air with a bit of disdain. Whenever he was the one feeling jealous that she was talking to one of the other boys, she'd try to keep her distance a bit, without hurting the friendship she had with them. And she did it for Raven's sake because it bothered him. It didn't matter to her that they weren't exactly in a relationship. They had a special bond, as Seville once put it jokingly, only it was an actual bond. They were so close and she always respected his feelings whenever he talked to her about the other boys.

When he asked her about Indy and the fact that they had grown close in a friendship, she tried to separate herself a bit from him. Not entirely though because she knew there was nothing wrong with them talking. He was like a younger brother to her and he always seemed to come to her first whenever he had any sort of problem. She didn't want to just abandon him because Raven was feeling a little jealous. Though she never said it aloud, she thought that she would like Raven to do the same and put his foot down when it came to Ivory. Perhaps if he was stern with her she would finally understand that he did not want her advances. 

They waited around by the exit of the ride, sitting down and having some snacks while Ivory calmed down. When she finally let him go, Cedar grabbed her by the hand and led her to the far side of a set of boulders that the group had claimed to get some rest. Roseanne was sat by the other end, and she looked up as she heard footsteps. She saw Raven walk over and sit next to her, an awkward little smile on his lips. He had a particular way of smiling whenever he thought something was awkward. It was entirely different than the way he smiled at her. It seemed almost fake, or forced. Roseanne said nothing as he sat down and he instantly felt that she was a bit upset with him.

"That was really awkward." He said to her, talking about that whole incident with Ivory hugging him and refuding to let him go. "She said she got an anxiety attack on the ride, and she couldn't breathe." He explained to her. Then an observation that he didn't dare say aloud to Ivory slipped his mouth. But with Roseanne it was different. He could be sincere and he knew she would never judge him for it. "My thing is though...why is she getting on any rides if she knows there's a risk of having an anxiety attack? It just doesn't make any sense to me."

Roseanne heaved a sigh and a small smile broke out onto her lips. She couldn't stay upset at him. He was so innocent and so pure. He genuinely thought that she had anxiety attacks and that she had gotten one on the ride. But Roseanne knew by now that she only suddenly seemed to get them whenever it was convenient to her. 

Leaning her head on his shoulder playfully, she looked up towards his deep black eyes. "Geez Raven, I really think there's no one in the friend group who is more pure than you."

"What do you mean?" He asked her, genuinely confused. 

But she shook her head. It was just too burdensome to explain it, especially at the amusement park with all their crew members sitting nearby. If anything, she would just wait to talk to him once they got back to the dorms. "Oh...nothing." She assured him, feigning innocence.

From there they had gone on a couple more rides and as it neared time for Instructor Violet to pick them up, they went on their final roller coaster ride. It was one called Viper, and it seemed too scary. Roseanne thought about sitting out, but before she could voice her decision, she heard Raven say to the group. "I think I'm sitting this last one out, guys. My prosthetic is really bothering me. I thinks its all the movement we did today, and then those two water rides we went on. They said it was water proof, but I'm still going to ask the nurses about it tomorrow."

Everyone nodded slowly in understanding. Instantly, Ivory jumped forward with a grin on her face. "I think I'll stay with Raven. I feel like my anxiety is about to kick in again."

At that, Cedar frowned. "Oh no, baby. Want me to sit out too so I can keep you company?"

She gave a shake of her head, trying not to show the fact that she really preferred that he got on that ride. "No, that's okay. You go have fun."

Raven threw his head back in exasperation but did not make a sound. He didn't want to be the one to stay with her all alone. He wanted at least one other person to stay behind with them. That was when Roseanne stepped forward too.

"I think I'll stay behind too." She said to them. "This ride seems a little too extreme for me."

Scarlet rolled her eyes at her former room mate. "Had to be Roseanne. I can't believe she made co-captain of the team with that attitude."

Roseanne glared at her, but said nothing. She merely went over to stand next to Raven who was filled with relief that someone other than Ivory was staying with him. In order to make the pairs even on the ride, Honey decided to stay behind as well, since she thought she ride seemed scary too. The four of them walked nearby to a set of benches outside an amusement park restaurant after they dropped the rest of the team off at the entrance of the ride. 

As soon as they sat down, Ivory sat to one side of Raven. He ignored her and started making conversation with Roseanne about the events of the day. They had a good time there, and now there were only a total of three more days before take off on their mission. They had trained for it their entire lives and now they were finally going up into space. The thoughts of the previous teams with their mission number plagued her mind. None of them succeeded and what was worse was that none of them had survived their mission. They were doomed from the start. 

By ten at night, they were all outside waiting for their instructor so get them. They then headed back to the garden for a good night's rest.

-

The next morning with two more days before lift off, Instructor Violet once again called them into the lounge for another meeting. She was at the podium as the team members entered the room one by one and in pairs. Roseanne instantly noticed there was a pair of gold colored scissors on the podium, as well as an electric hair trimmer. It didn't come as a surprise to her or to any of them.

From the very time that they joined the garden, they had read about the requirements and components of their specific mission. One of the many requirements was that they would have to cut their hair short. It usually wasn't a problem for the male space cadets, as they had short hair for the most part. There were very few of them who liked having long hair because they found it tedious to keep it tidy whenever they had physical training. But Roseanne wasn't looking forward to it. She liked her long hair and it was already down to her waist. The last time she had cut it was a couple inches past her shoulders, and that had been three years prior. 

Instructor Violet began explaining to them that it was a requirement for them to comply to the short hair rule. She also informed them that they would be given a hormone injection the next morning to prevent their hair from growing for the next ten years. Their mission was only eight years, but the injection was only made and given in ten year intervals. She also reminded them that with their injection for stalling hair growth, they would be implanted with a contraception chip that would prevent them from being able to have children for eight years. That was something Roseanne knew as well, but it still surprised her. And they couldn't refuse to any of it because they were essentially government property. 

The latter was so that they'd have no unwanted accidents while on the ship. Instructor Violet mentioned to them that having sexual relations was a natural part of life, and that they could finally engage in it because no one would be able to stop them in space, as much as the admins at the garden tried to convince the teams against it. But that the contraception would st least help them so that they wouldn't be burdened with children while on their mission. 

She then pulled up a chair to the front of the room, right by the podium, and asked for a volunteer to go first. She was mostly asking the girls, since they had a barber shop and a salon on campus and the boys went there regularly. Roseanne knew for a fact that Raven went at least every four to six weeks because he liked to keep his hair very short. She hadn't been to the facility salon in three years. Still, she found it nerve wracking and even slightly humiliating that they had to do it there in front of their team mates. As she thought about it, she watched as Scarlet got up and stepped forward to the front of the room. 

Plopping down in the chair, she looked up at Instructor Violet. "I would like to get it cut very short. Into a pixie cut."

Instructor Violet nodded and started snipping away at Scarlet's long bright red hair. Honey decided to go second, and since a bob cut was the longest they could keep their hair, that was what she decided on. Her straight yellow hair was easy to cut and fell down onto the floor with Scarlet's red strands of hair. Honey had closed her eyes tight in embarrassment because she could feel everyone's eyes on her. The third one to go up was Ivory, who decided on a bob cut as well. And last was Roseanne, who also couldn't bare to see her hair shorter than a bob cut. She closed her eyes tight and felt a prick in her chest at having to get her hair cut. But she had always knew it was inevitable.

She also didn't look forward to getting forcibly sterilized for eight years the next morning. She felt like all they had been doing at the garden for years was dehumanizing their teams, and using them as objects for their own gain. And it only kept getting worse.

-

today was a pretty good day. but this week raven was acting a bit off. well, since last sunday actually. he's refused to go out with the friend group three times in the span of like seven days. he only went out with us once. and that was with me only. we went to pick up my sister's dog from the shelter. she dropped her off there because she has a baby now and could not properly care for the dog.

but i gave them a call and said i would pick her up and take her home with me. and idk maybe he'd on his man period again. he sometimes is super playful and teases a lot and then other times he's quiet and moody and hides away from the world. but like he had never ever refused to go out with us three times in a row like that. 

i hope everything is alright with him. if he keeps being weird im going to ask him if he's okay. i was telling mauve that maybe its bc i used to beg him to come along when he said he wanted to stay home. he likes staying home rather than going out. but i'd practically force him to come along. but i dont do that anymore because i decided if he doesnt want to come, then whats the point of having him there? also bc i just want to treat him like a regular friend if we're going to be just friends. i didnt want to give him any special treatment.

but thank you for reading guys!

-clary