t h i r t y o n e ;

On their final day before lift off, it seemed like their instructors were going to let them rest. They were asked to skip morning training and instructed to rest up. They were also told to only leave the dorm building to get their meals. Raven and Roseanne didn't need to be told twice. Raven wasn't much of a social person anyway and preferred to stay in his room and only talk to Roseanne. His female room mate was much more social than he was and felt like a prisoner cooped up in their dorm room all day. As much as she liked him and enjoyed his company, she also yearned for that human connection with her other crew mates. The ones she actually liked anyway. She left her room for a moment to see how Indy and Honey were doing when she saw there was something happening over by their lounge room area. The room was closed off by yellow tape, but there were cleaning staff people coming and going from there. She didn't give it too much importance, since she thought it was their last day in those dorms and the admins were probably already looking to get that space ready for their next set of bright young cadets.

She instead walked right up to the door labeled Blue and Brown, and gave a light knock. Indy was the one to answer the door and a bright smile formed on his lips when he looked down to lock eyes with his co-captain. He was always like an excited puppy, Roseanne noted to herself as she regarded him. At twenty years old, he towered almost a head above her, but he certainly acted his age. Sometimes though, it was easy for her and the others to forget that the other kids like Indy, Honey, Cedar, and Ivory were all the youngest in the group. Now they also had Olive and Sage. Half of their team was either twenty years old or younger. Roseanne couldn't help but worry about the accuracy of their mission would be, with a team that young.

"Rosieeeeeeeee." He dragged out her name with a grin as he seemed to do every time he saw her. He extended his hand out to do a light hand slap and a fist bump with her. That was how he greeted her every single morning. She had her little way of greeting each of the members. With Honey, they ran into each others arms and acted as though they hadn't seen each other in weeks. With Raven, it was always a shy little hello like they weren't room mates who saw each other almost every moment of the day. With Ciel, they kind of just nodded towards each other with a smile. Back when she had a crush on him and she was sure he knew, he always made it a point to walk up to her and say. Roseanne in the mix, to which she always responded to by blushing madly.

"Raven says he just wants to stay in tonight. But I honestly think that's boring on our very last day in the garden. I think I'm gonna get everyone together and watch a movie. Wanna join?" She asked him with a smile. Looking past him into the room, she thought they could at least let bygones be bygones for the night. Even if he hate Raven and Raven wasn't exactly fond of him either. She decided to invite Cedar as well. "You and Ivory should come too."

Her words took him by surpise, but he didn't really have a problem with Roseanne. He even thought she was nice. It was Raven who he had a problem with. He just also knew that Ivory didn't like Roseanne and the feeling was mutual. He wasn't sure if so many people disliking each other in the same room was going to be such a good idea. He still nodded and offered her a polite smile. He would st least consider it and bring the matter up to Ivory. But still, he always did as she wanted and if she didn't want to be there, he wouldn't go.

She then left them to invite the others on the team for the movie, even the two new girls. Just as she was getting everything together, she was about to take everything into the lounge to set up when she saw exactly what was going on there. They weren't clearing things out for their departure. They were setting up to have a sending off celebration for the team. As she opened the door to the lounge, one of the admins frowned. "We told you guys to stay in your rooms until further notice. This was supposed to be a surpise." She said to the girl with pink hair who was walking in with a box of snacks and the movie they were going to watch that afternoon.

"Everyone should be on their way in a couple of minutes." Roseanne said to her slowly, gauging her reaction to everything. She had managed to convince Raven to come out for the movie night and the rest of the other members said they were coming too. Now their plans were being ruined by whatever the admins were planning for them. It was always what the admins wanted them to do, rather than what they wanted to do themselves. At times, Roseanne couldn't help but feel like they were show monkeys or something of the sort. Always performing on command for the higher ups in the garden. They were all pieces of property to them anyway.

The admin gave a shake of her head. "Go change into something presentable. Your formal uniform should do." She urged as she looked at what Roseanne was wearing. She was dressed in her sleeping clothes, which were warm and comfortable. Her short and wavy hair was held back by pink hair pins. "And go tell the others to dress formally as well. We'll be starting in about an hour."

Roseanne rolled her eyes, but turned to leave the room. She had to do as she was told.

-

She was in her room changing into her formal uniform as Raven remained in his bed. He was in his annoyed mood at the moment. For one because he didn't even want to attend that special event they were being forced to have. And also because he would have to change into his formal uniform and he already had a hard time changing into the casual uniform as it was. It would probably take him an eternity to change into the formal one and he didn't want to ask Roseanne for help. He was the captain of the team and the last thing he wanted was to be a burden on her or on anyone. He saw her emerge from the bathroom, all dressed up and looking breath taking. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She caught him staring instantly, as her eyes were looking for him as well, and she lowered her gaze as a pink blush tinted her cheeks.

"You should change into your formal uniform." She pointed out shyly. "The admins expect us to be there in fifteen minutes."

He heaved a frustrated sigh. "I don't want to go. They're the ones that told us to take this last day to rest. Now they're telling us we have to go to this stupid party."

She nodded in agreement with him. "Yeah. But just think that after today, we won't get to seem them for the next eight years. And then when we come back, we don't have to see them ever again." She thought it was ridiculous too, that they were forcing them to do something of a final show for them. The cream of the crop, their brightest students, making one final performance for the admins at the garden. Always forced to seem perfect and without any flaws. All they wanted sometimes was to be normal humans who got to interact with friends, and even fall in love. But in the garden, they couldn't be anything less than perfect.

"That is unless we decide to become instructors here." He pointed out. His words seemed to give her an indication that he was possibly considering it.

She shot him a curious look. "Are you actually thinking about it?"

He gave a slow nod of his head, his eyes locking with hers. There was sincerity in them, but there was also a struggle. A part of him wanted to stay in the garden and become an instructor. The other part of him wanted to go back home to his province and his family. He knew they were waiting and he certainly wanted to see them again. But he also thought of starting a life of his own, and due to the separation of colors in their country, he would never get to see her again. He would have to return home, find someone else, potentially get married and have children. She would have to do the same in her own province, something he couldn't even bare to think about. On the other hand, if they both stayed in the garden and became instructors, he wouldn't be burdened with the problem of having to leave her. They could be together for the rest of their lives. They could never get married in the garden, or have any children, but he could still be around her and see her alone in secret.

He sucked in a breath as he prepared to admit what he had been to afraid to admit to her for years now. "I don't think I'd be able to bring myself to return home without you...I would die if I never got to see you again."

Roseanne's pink irises widened in surprise. She had feelings for him and she always felt in her heart that he felt the same way about her. But she always just told herself that it was wishful thinking, that he was just being nice. This confirmation his her like a breath of fresh air. It made all her worries and her doubts just melt away. She knew now that all those times she worried about him falling for Ivory were for nothing. He wasn't and would never be interested in her. She also felt her eyes well up with tears at the realization that they had just both been too afraid to say what they were feeling.

Now that she knew how he felt, she thought it was time for her to admit how she felt about him too. It must have been difficult for him, given how shy he really was. And she could tell that he was growing more and more nervous as he awaited her response.

"Well..." She started slowly. As she finished her sentence, there was a slight hint of playfulness in it. "Its about time you said something to me about it."

He seemed confusd at first, but a small smile formed on his lips as it dawned on him that she felt the same way about him. That was why she was saying it had taken him long enough. She wanted him to speak up long before. Now in something of a teasing voice, he shot back at her. "Me? What about you? You never made it obvious. I never knew if I was the only one in your heart because you get along with everyone. Whenever I thought you might actually like me, I'd dimsiss it because you're nice to everyone."

Roseanne threw her head back at the absurdity of the situation. It was exactly how she felt when it came to him. And she let him know this as well. "That's exactly how I felt when I started feeling that you might like me."

"I don't get along with everyone though." He pointed out. As she thought back on all the moments the team shared together, she realized he was telling the truth. Roseanne only didn't seem to entirely get along with Ivory, but it was because Ivory was mean to her first. She had more patience with Scarlet and Seville when they made sneer comments because for the most part, they had their moments in which they were actually nice. Ivroy, on the other hand, was just mean all the time.

"But you treat everyone the same." She retaliated.

He nodded in agreement. He would admit to that. He treated everyone the same. All except for one person on the team. "Everyone except fo you." He told her. And it was exactly what the others pointed out on several occasions. Like when Indy had been afraid to tell Raven that Cedar hated him because he thought he was afer Ivory and Indy let him believe it. The boy with blue hair told her that it would be better if she explained it to Raven because he was just so much more gentle with her. Or when Seville mentioned that Raven was always hovering around Roseanne like a satellite.

His words were enough to put a joyful smile on her face because she knew now that she wasn't alone with her feelings for him. He felt exactly the same way about her.

-

im going to remove the photo later. but i had to show you all this. we went to get food after work—raven, indy, mauve, and me. and raven was so tired on the way back home that he fell asleep in the car and indy snapped this photo of him. so that's indy and raven in the picture.

a couple of days ago too, i decided to remodel my room and move my bed into the closet bc of the trend. so i went to target with raven. he's the one who offered to go with me. i got a giant mirror for my room along with other stuff.

and he offered to carry the mirror to my car. such a gentleman. then he maneuvered to get it inside my car which was soo difficult bc i have a mini cooper. it was cute bc there were some landscapers nearby working in that area and they were staring at us. well mostly him struggling and he kept like getting in front of me to cover me. and he kept muttering. "tf are they looking at?"

then we went to walmart to get some lights for my room. and then we went to get food at wing stop. and he paid. such a gentleman again. but things got awkward bc we got into a huge argument that day. and it was honestly my fault. indy was asking me today why raven and i argue so much. i dont fucking know. sometimes i love him and sometimes he literally breathes and i get so triggered.

thank you for reading!

-clary

im