t h i r t y ;

That night in the dorm bathroom, she spent several minutes looking at herself in the mirror after she got ready for bed. Her hands raked through her now short pink hair and she heaved a sigh. She didn't like it and she thought it didn't suit her. It made her face seem more round and full. She frowned, puffing up her cheeks in displeasure, and she could feel Raven's black eyes staring at her through the open door of the bathroom. She turned slowly and locked eyes with him for an instant before she turned and looked away. She felt him looking for a moment, but she wasn't sure how long he had actually been staring at her. Perhaps, since the moment she pushed the door open when she finished changing, but stayed in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror for three more minutes. She wondered what he would think of her new hair style, one that not been her choice. Her long hair had always been the one thing she was most proud of and the instructors, as well as many of the younger crew on other teams always gawked at how lovely her hair was. The younger teams were always praising the members of 12191 because they were the best of the best. The younger generations all aspired to be like them.

She walked out into the room and she did notice her head felt lighter. She hadn't realized before how heavy hair really was until she had been forced to cut it. There was a gentle smile on Raven's lips as he shyly offered her some words of encouragement upon seeing her so visibly upset. "I know you really liked your long hair, Rosie. But really anything suits you." He said, a dark blush tinting his cheek bones and he genuinely meant it.

Roseanne couldn't help but smile at that, and she nodded at him gratefully. He was back to being that shy little kid who blushed and stuttered with everything he said. She wondered when the next time would be in which cheeky Raven would make an appearance. His shifts in mood were always so different from each other. But she appreciated that whether he was feeling overly shy, or extremely brave, he was always so good to her. Even when he teased her, he made sure he never crossed the line.

At ten on the dot, the lights went out in their room. But the two were already in bed and ready to fall asleep. They were already more comfortable sleeping in Raven's bed together and she had climbed in next to him just minutes before the admins cut off the power for the night. Raven was always out like a light, falling asleep almost instantly. He had always been that way, ever since he was a little boy. While for Roseanne, it always took an hour for sleep to finally take her. Her mind was always loud and overflowing with thoughts that kept her from falling asleep right away.

They got up the next morning and changed into their clothes for the day. Raven changed into his black polo shirt and black chino pants. Roseanne put on her white button up shirt with a pink ribbon tie and her pink skirt to match. They walked out together and sat at their usual table, away from the others. This time, most of the other crew members sat next to them. Ciel, Indy, Mauve, Seville, and Honey all joined them at their table. They left Cedar, Ivory, and Scarlet at the other table while the three glared at their crew members. Ciel had been questioning for a long time why he was still sitting with them. He was friends with Cedar, but he knew what had gone down between Ivory and Indy, and he didn't respect her for it. He also thought Scarlet was a terrible person with a terrible personality and frankly, every word that left her mouth only served to annoy him. The only reason he sat at that table with them was because he was also close with Mauve and Seville.

Then there was Indy, who had grown to hate Ivory with a passion after he came to the painful realization that Roseanne was right about her. All she wanted was to hurt his feelings and play with him. She never had any intentions of being with him. He knew he had to tell Cedar about it. But he had decided to give it a few weeks in space before telling him. That way he would have the next eight years to think about things and come to forgive him. Indy also hated Scarlet because like Ciel, he thought she was a horrible person.

But it had been the last straw when Scarlet made a backhanded comment at the amusement park about Indy. "Looks like the taller they are, the dumber they are." She said aloud to the group as they waited in line for one of the rides, snickering like she said something funny. No one in the group laughed except Ivory because they knew from her tone, she wasn't joking about it. She genuinely thought Indy wasn't smart and was trying to make him feel bad for it.

Things quickly went downhill when Ciel said in a serious voice. "I guess I must be stupid too then." Because out of the whole team, Indy and Ciel were the two tallest. Indy was six foot two, while Ciel was six feet. From there, the rest of the boys were between five foot eight and five foot eleven. Ciel had taken offense to her words too, since he was the second tallest on the team.

To which she replied with a shake of her head. "Not you, Ciel. Just...others on the team." With that, she made it clear she was talking about Indy.

Mauve was neutral about the whole thing. He had a crush on Scarlet, he thought she was pretty, but he was close with the other boys. He preferred to switch tables with them and make easy conversation than to stay with Scarlet and just make awkward conversation in which she spat out venomous criticisms about everyone else on the team. The top two she was always talking about were Raven and Roseanne. She had a special kind of resentment for them, but she tried to disguise it as friendly jokes intended towards her best friend.

Seville definitely got along better with the other three. But Honey got along more with Roseanne, since they were former room mates. They became close when they dormed together for a while to the point where Roseanne had confessed to her that she had a crush on Raven. Honey was very supportive of this and always told Roseanne about how she was cheering for them. She wanted them to have a relationship because she already thought they looked very cute together and they acted like they were already dating anyway. It was only a matter of time before they could become boyfriend and girlfriend.

There were two days left before lift off now, and Instructor Violet walked up to the table with the most 12191 members. Behind her were two girls, and Honey perked up when she saw one of them. She clearly knew her and she waved at her with excitement. The shy girl with lime green hair pulled back into a thick braid waved at her back, offering a shy smile. The other one had short curly green hair, and it was clear she didn't know anyone on their team. It was so near the start of their mission and they were getting two new crew members from what Roseanne was seeing.

Confirming what Roseanne was already thinking, Instructor Violet announced to the team. "This is Lime and Green. Yellow should be familiar with Lime, since they came up from the same generation of children. And Green is from the generation one year younger than Blue, Brown, and White. The admins thought having some more young blood on the team would do you well. Please welcome them and make them feel at home." She said to them and they all nodded, offering friendly smiles to the two new girls. Ciel had instantly become smitten with the new lime girl on the team. But a part of him felt like it was wrong to feel like that because if she was in Honey's former team, that meant she was only seventeen. He was already twenty two.

Instructor Violet explained to Lime that she would have to go find her after breakfast to take her in for a haircut, since the rest of the girls had gotten their hair cut the previous day. She nodded and their instructor left the lunch room. The two new girls sat down as the team members made space for them at the table.

Roseanne spoke up first in regards to the two new girls on the team. She had elbowed Raven to introduce himself first, since he was team captain. But he was too shy to do it, and she decided to go first. "Hi, my name is Roseanne. I'm the co-captain of this team." Gesturing to Raven who was sat next to her, she added. "And this is Raven. He's our team's captain. We're so glad to have you on the team."

Raven waved awkwardly at the two girls and they nodded a greeting towards him, he then went back to eating his lunch like it was any other day. He had never been very social and didn't exactly like meeting new people. He would be polite, greet them, and maybe even introduce himself. But he wasn't one to reach out to someone to make friends. The other members introduced themselves next, except Honey who already knew Lime from before. She told her friend how they had a tradition of giving their team members actual names, instead of going by their generic color names. Lime and Green thought it was nice, and Honey asked Roseanne and Raven to give them a name. They thought about it for a moment and finally chose on the names for their newest team members. Lime would be named Sage, and Green would be named Olive.

When breakfast ended, they all headed to the hospital wing for their hormone injections and their contraceptive injections for the mission. Sage left them for a moment to go get her hair cut. Ciel waited around the entrance of the hospital wing for her, so that she wouldn't get lost and would be able to find them easily.

As they entered a big room separated by curtains, they were each led to a bed where there was a nurse waiting for them. Raven and Roseanne made sure to get the beds next to each other, even if they were separated by curtains. Roseanne closed her eyes tight as the nurses grabbed one of the needles on a small metal table with one of the vials and filled it up. Needles and blood made her nervous, but she knew the admins and her instructors wouldn't care about her worries and her phobia. She still had to get those injections, no matter what she thought about it. She got the first one done, which the nurse explained was the hormone injection to stall hair growth while in space. She shut her eyes tightly and felt her stomach churning like a washing machine. She instantly felt a little pinch in her arm and felt light headed from the ordeal.

As the nurse got ready to give her the second injection, Roseanne heard from the other side of the curtains as Instructor Violet called to the boys of the team. "Boys, after getting your hormone injections follow me into the waiting room while the girls get their contraceptive shot." Roseanne could hear from where she sat as the sounds of their footsteps were heard through the room as they followed her without saying a word. That meant only the girls were getting the second injection.

She looked up just as the nurse was getting the second shot ready. From a crack in the curtain, she saw Raven pass her bed and he locked eyes with her. He knew she didn't like blood and needles, and he wanted nothing more than to be there for her. But in front of the admins and in front of the instructors, they couldn't act like they were anything more than just colleagues. Roseanne was momentarily distracted, to the point where she was only pulled out of her thoughts when the nurse jammed the thick needle into her skin, right in the bend of her arm. Roseanne jumped and yelped in pain, but the nurse gripping her arm, only held it tighter to prevent her from moving. Outside her room, she could hear the quiet whimpers of the other five female crew mates as they were sterilized against their will.

The shot had been extremely painful. They jammed a thick needle into their skin and inserted a capsule like chip, pulling at their skin as they removed it. The nurse informed Roseanne that she would have a little bruise for a few days and that it was normal. She didn't even wan to look at it, or feel the little bump underneath her skin because it made her nauseous.

She just let the tears fall from her eyes as she left the hospital wing with her crew mates.

-

its been a while since i updated here again. about ten days. i had honestly been working on this update for a while. but then i put it on hold because i started watching american horror story bc raven recommended it to me. its his favorite show. he always recommends me stuff to watch and he gets so excited when i watch it and then we talk about it.

the only show i've ever gotten him to watch was the office. but honestly, i dont suggest him stuff bc i dont really watch tv or movies anyway.

sooo bc things are getting really bad in los angeles bc of covid, my parents have asked me not to go out at all. raven's mother did the same with him. but damn. last week we just couldn't help ourselves and we decided to hang out. then on an impulse we got ipads. mine is pink and his is space grey. he's sooo cute bc we bought cases and he asked me if i had a screen protector. i said no and he offered to give me one of his, and he evven installed it for me today.

he's a cutie, guys. we've spent a lot of time talking lately. but i'm not trying to look too much into it.

-clary