tyler hands felix a few grocery bags from the back of the car, then grabs a few himself. josh had sent the two out to run errands a few hours ago, claiming he needed to stay behind for no reason other than he "didn't feel like going out."

"i fucking hate shopping," felix mutters, kicking the car door shut as tyler grabs the rest of the bags.

"me too," he complains, struggling to hold around five plastic bags around each of his wrists. "this shit is so heavy."

the older of the two chuckles. "that's your own fault for grabbing the heaviest bags. man, we totally should've gotten a movie."

"oh well."

they drop the bags off in the kitchen, tyler feeling obligated to help put the food way. he rushes around to finish it as quickly as possible, just wanting to see josh already.

"hey, tyler?"

"yeah?" the brunette responds, turning to look at felix.

"have you seen my bottle of grey goose?" the man frowns, searching through a cupboard. "i could've sworn i left it here."

"it's, like, six p.m," tyler points out.

"so? it's five o'clock somewhere."

"haha," he deadpans. "funny. no, i haven't seen it. it's probably in your room still."

felix nods, gathering the now-empty bags into one huge ball and tossing them into the closet where they (for some unknown reason) stash all of the other plastic bags. he thanks tyler for his help, then heads upstairs. with a smile, the brunette heads straight for josh's room. it's only been a few hours since they last saw each other, but shopping was exhausting. all he wants is to just cuddle up against him and maybe take a nap.

he swings the bedroom door open, his smile faltering.

it's hard to explain how one little thing can break your heart into a million little piece. heartbreak: the sudden shatter, the stinging ache. the initial shock of sorrow and then anger. it's a whirlwind of emotions, but it all crashes through, like a hammer against drywall, in only a matter of seconds. god, tyler feels weak at the knees, like he could collapse at any moment. he thought he knew what heartbreak felt like after leaving his family and spending the last year of his life alone. but no, that was nothing. this was what heartbreak truly felt like: the pain in his chest and the stinging behind his eyes, the knowledge that things are never going to be the same after this.

felix's empty bottle of grey goose sits on the bedside table. josh is passed out in bed, but he's not alone. no, pete sleeps beside him, one arm strung across the man's bare waist. tyler doesn't even know what to do. he just stands there like an idiot, fear in his throat, feeling too much shock and too much pain to even work up the energy to cry.

should he wake them up? should he start yelling? should he walk away? fuck, oh god. he's going to have to leave the house. holy fuck.

suddenly he's angry; he's fucking livid. he slams the door behind him, both men waking with a jump. josh looks at pete, brows furrowed, then realizes tyler is fuming at the end of the bed. "tyler-"

"don't," tyler scoffs, eyes stinging with tears. he feels sick to his stomach again. god, what if he pukes? that would be humiliating. "don't even fucking try, josh. i cant–after all i've fucking done for you? are you kidding me?"

"tyler, stop. it's not-"

"don't," tyler interrupts again, fists clenched at his side. he turns his attention to pete, pointing at the door. "get out."

pete glances the two of them, not seeming to feel a single ounce of regret. he gets up moments after, surprisingly with pants on, and shuts the door again as he leaves.

"please, tyler-"

"stop, josh, just stop!" the brunette yells, catching the older by surprise. "i'm leaving. i don't care what you have to say, i don't want to hear your bullshit excuse. god, i fucking hate you right now. fuck. fuck!"

"just listen to me, it's-"

"please," tyler whimpers, turning his back to wipe his tears away. "just stop trying, please. you told me i wouldn't lose you. you told me you loved me. fuck, i trusted you..." he turns around, shaking with rage as he points a finger in josh's face. "brendon was right about you. you never gave a shit about me. all you care about is money! you are a money-hungry bitch!"

josh's jaw drops, blinking in disbelief. he has never seen tyler this angry. "you really think that?"

"i fucking know it," the brunette scoffs, narrowing his eyes. "i'm getting my shit and i'm leaving. fuck you, josh. fuck. you."

"just wait!" josh grabs ahold of tyler's wrist. the latter is quick to tear his arm free, shoving josh back by the shoulders.

"do not fucking touch me. i trusted you, josh! god, why did i ever think we would've worked? that we could've had a normal relationship? i can't believe i thought i loved you! i'm so fucking stupid."

"no you're-"

"i'm going to grab my things. you can have fun with pete, he's one hell of a replacement. have fun explaining this one to the girls. good-fucking-bye."

tyler storms out of the room, ignoring josh's pleas for him to wait. he heads directly for his bedroom, ignoring the fact that felix is standing in the hallway and staring at him. once inside, tyler locks the door and presses his back against it.

everything finally begins to fully sink in.

josh just fucking used him, he never actually loved him. it was all a lie and everybody was probably in on it. he doesn't even have anywhere to go, but he's got some money saved up. he'll just have to start living out of motels again like before. he'll have nobody to calm him down when he's on the panicking. he'll have nobody to sleep with when his brain won't shut up. he'll have nobody to tell him how important he is, not like josh ever meant it anyways...

can't he just catch a fucking break? just for one single moment can't he feel like the world isn't caving in on him and his heart isn't going to explode? he doesn't want to feel so scared. he doesn't want to feel so fucking idiotic.

tyler picks up the thing nearest to him, specifically a book, and catapults it into the wall. it's not enough, though. his next object is his bedside lamp. it's obviously not something he plans on taking, so he doesn't feel any guilt as it smashes against the wall.

"what the hell are you doing, tyler!?" felix yells from the other side of the door.

the brunette doesn't respond. he grabs a duffel bag, stuffing as much clothing as possible inside. he also throws in a few necessities and the gucci cologne that josh bought him. he'll be damned if that goes to waste.

the door creaks open behind him. tyler isn't sure how exactly felix got in, but it doesn't matter. he doesn't turn around, just keeps shoving shit in his bag.

"what happened? what are you doing?"

"found your fucking vodka. josh got into it like the fucking dog he is and slept with pete. so, i'm leaving."

"that doesn't mean anything. why do you need to leave?"

"because felix!" he snaps, revealing his tear-streaked cheeks as he turns around. "because i can't fucking stay here and watch him treat pete the way that i wanted him to treat me! do you know how fucked that is? i'm already messed up! i need to go."

"but tyler-"

"shut up," he mutters, zipping the bag shut. he strings it over his shoulder. "i'm sure you were in on the shit, so i don't want to hear what you have to say either. i don't trust you. i don't trust any of you. i'm better off on my fucking own. now get out of my way."

"i can't just let you leave, ty. you don't even know if anything happened between them. you just need to calm down," felix tries to reason.

"nah, i think what i saw was enough fucking proof. now move." they have a mini-stare down before tyler snaps again. "let me out of this fucking room or i'll jump out of the goddamn window! don't think i won't."

after the older does a little side-step, tyler blows past him and rushes back downstairs. of course, josh is standing at the front door. tyler tries to ignore him as he searches the living room for any of his belongings. he quickly snags his phone charger from an outlet, stuffing it into his pocket. josh is still in the same spot by the time tyler is finally ready to get the hell out of there.

"can you move?" he mumbles, refusing to glance any higher than the man's feet.

"please, just listen to me tyler. you're overreacting. nothing, well–it wasn't what it looked like. i can-"

"i already said... i-i don't want to hear it," tyler croaks, swallowing the lump in his throat. "i don't care what you have to say. i want to leave. i want to get away from you."

"tyler?" the brunette's eyes water as the man's voice cracks. he slowly glances up, meeting josh's eyes. he's... he's crying? well, more like he's on the verge of. the tears in his eyes are blatant, though his cheeks are dry. "why won't you listen to me?"

"i am in pain. you fucking hurt me. you did this!" tyler cries, refusing to let the fact that josh is upset get to him. the mind games aren't going to work on him this time.

"but... where will you even go?" josh's voice drops to a whisper. fuck, tyler hurts so bad. everything about this hurts so bad. he wants josh to reach out and touch him: his face, his arm, his hand. anything. he just wants to feel him one last time...

"i'll be fine. i need to go. i need to go. i can't do this, i need to go." and although he knows there's no reason, he musters the strength to voice an "i'm sorry" before pushing his way passed josh and out the door.

he doesn't look back once, despite how badly his heart is yearning to just run straight into josh's arms. nobody even calls out to him, and he doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not. tyler just keeps walking: straight through the yard, straight through the front gate, and straight down the street.

there's no destination in mind, but tyler's sure he'll know it when he finds it. he finally is completely alone, walking down the empty street. it all comes out now, every single tear he had been trying so hard to suppress. saying goodbye to josh and the only friends he'd had felt like ripping his heart and soul out of his body.

tyler knows he is so fucked; he knows it. this isn't just going to go away overnight. he feels so fucked up. his thoughts and feelings feel like some alien taking over him. they don't belong there. they shouldn't be there. nobody should ever feel this much pain in their entire life. tyler doesn't fucking know what to do with this much pain.

he doesn't know what to do. he is so lost, so hopeless. but most of all, he's fucking terrified. is he ever going to feel like himself again? is he ever going to get over this? how the hell is he going to get over josh? will he ever be able to trust again? will he ever be able to love again?

his blunt nails dig into his palm as he makes a fist. he punches his thigh a few times, needing something to ground himself. getting out of his own head isn't easy, especially on his own, but he needs to realize that he used to do it before. he used to be the only person there for himself. if he survived before, he can survive again.

it must've been around a half hour before he finally gets his body to stop trembling, and a car eventually pulls up and drives alongside him. he glances over, not really giving a shit if anything were to happen to him right now. the passenger window rolls down, revealing two men: a tall one driving and a short one riding shotgun.

"dude, aren't you tyler? tyler joseph? josh's tyler joseph?" the short one asks, mouth hung open in a wide grin.

"not anymore. i mean, yeah, i'm tyler. but that's all," he says, frowning. hearing 'josh's tyler' catches him off guard and stings a lot more than he expected it to. he continues to walk, but the car continues to follow. "listen, if you're looking for something now is not a good time."

the two exchange a few mumbles before they both nod and look back to him. "get in," the taller says. "i'll give you a grand right now if you get in the car."

tyler stops abruptly, causing the man to slam on the brakes. "you're joking. what for?"

"do you know who i am?" the shorter asks. tyler shakes his head. "do you know who he is?" he asks next, pointing at the driver. again, tyler shakes his head. the two exchange a smile. "trust me, you won't regret coming with us."

"for a grand? fuck it, fine." what else does he have to lose? he gets into the backseat of the car, cringing at the strong stench of cigarettes and marijuana. "i'd probably pay you to kill me right now, honestly, so if you're going to sell me for sex-trafficking or some shit just tell me now."

the two upfront laugh. "i can already tell i'm going to like you. you're going to be a fun one. i'm ryan, by the way," the shorter introduces himself.

"dallon," the taller says.

"yeah, nice to meet you. where exactly are we going?"

"oh, trust me," ryan giggles. "you are going to love where we're heading."

__a/n__

well, that wasn't very good :)))