tyler sits beside jenna, the other girls scattered around the living room. felix is on the other side of tyler, looking bored. josh had told them all to meet in the living room. that was ten minutes ago, though, and yet josh still isn't there.

"i wonder if we did something wrong," jenna whispers, noticing the concern on everyone's face. well, except felix. he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"i'm not sure," tyler says, and he really doesn't. he hadn't talked to josh much since yesterday, although he was sure to tell felix every single detail. he seemed convinced that josh has actual feelings for tyler, but the latter isn't so sure.

"and why isn't debby here? i haven't seen her since yesterday. do you think something happened?" jenna continues, anxiously tapping her fingers against her thigh.

"maybe," tyler frowns. "i heard josh yelling at her yesterday. and, i mean, he switched felix from her to me, and he's like... josh's most trusted guard."

"really?" jenna says, her eyes widening. "wow. she must've done something awful..."

"sorry, i'm here," josh calls out, interrupting the room's quiet hum of conversation. he stands in front of tyler, hands linked behind his back as he gazes at everyone. "i'm sure you're wondering where debby is."

reluctantly, everyone nods. even felix.

"well, that little skank decided she was going to hook up with mikey. and not only that, but the two of them decided they were going to try and rob me." he goes quiet, letting the words sink in.

tyler and jenna look at each other, mouths hanging open.

"seriously?" tyler can't help but blurt out, averting his gaze to josh. "are you serious?"

"do i sound like i'm joking, tyler?" josh snarls. the brunette jumps slightly, taken aback by his sudden outburst. the older notices and sighs softly. "my apologies. as you could imagine, i'm not happy."

tyler nods, but sinks back into his seat. he stays quiet as josh continues.

"as you all know, relationships within the house are forbidden..."

tyler frowns at that, his heart stinging a bit more than he would like.

"none of you are allowed to do anything without my consent. i would think debby would know this, but clearly i'm mistaken. so i just want to reiterate; nothing, and i mean nothing, is done without my consent. if you think to yourself, 'am i going to get in trouble for doing this?' the answer is yes.

and to make matters worse, the two of them had a fucking joke of an attempt to steal from me, to steal from us. that is your money too, and you should be just as furious as i am over it. mikey has been fired, and debby is out. she's gone, that's all you need to know. i don't want any questions.

this obviously means i'm currently functioning without a bottom. i'll be taking the next few days to consider who i'll be choosing for her replacement. that's all, dismissed."

everyone stands and begins to walk away, murmuring to each other. tyler is stopped, though, as josh places his hand against his chest. "except for you. meet me in my office."

"yes, daddy," tyler responds, swallowing nervously. josh heads down the hall, but tyler hesitates. he turns to felix.

"go, dude. you're probably going to get laid!"

"shut up," tyler whines, smacking his arm. "didn't you hear him? relationships are forbidden..."

"well, you aren't in a relationship yet. and besides, he's the one that makes the rules. he can break them if he wants to."

"you know he won't do that."

"you never know," felix shrugs. "just go."

"okay, fine." with a sigh, tyler heads down the hall.

the office door is open, and josh is sitting behind his desk. tyler shuts the door behind him.

"lock it," josh says, and when tyler turns to look at him, he repeats, "lock it."

in a hurry, the brunette's fingers stumble as he turns the lock.

"now come here."

tyler does as told, approaching the man until he's up against the other side of the desk.

"no, here," josh says, patting his lap.

tyler can't help the smile that follows. he walks around the desk and plops himself on josh's thighs, sitting with his legs hanging to the side. "is this all you wanted?"

"no, i wanted to tell you i'm sorry."

"you already d-"

"i know, it just... it made me feel weird seeing you get upset like that. i could tell i scared you."

"well-"

"or hurt your feelings, whatever. something like that... i just got this weird feeling in my stomach and i felt... guilty, i guess. weird, but true."

"it's not weird," tyler chuckles. his eyes fall shut as josh's hand raises to cup his jaw, thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

"it's weird for me. you're doing something to me, dear. i don't know if i like it or not... but i kind of don't want it to go away."

"i guess that's good," tyler says softly, leaning into the touch. "but... is it okay if i ask something?"

"go ahead."

"i... don't get mad at me for this, okay? but i.. i was just—just wondering, like... what do you want from me?" tyler stutters, nervously meeting josh's eyes. "like... do you just want me for sex? or, like... because you just told all of us how relationships are forbidden, so..."

josh is quiet for a long time, way longer than tyler excepts. there's his answer, albeit not being the one he's looking for. tyler sighs, standing from josh's lap. "yeah, that's what i thought. i'm gonna go-"

"no, stay," josh interrupts, grabbing the boy's hand. "stay. i don't want you to take this the wrong way, tyler, because you're special to me. you make me feel things nobody has before, it's just... even if i wanted to be in a relationship with you, i can't. i couldn't be a hypocrite like that. do you understand?"

"yes..."

"and i don't mean to lead you on or make you feel like i'm purposely messing with your head. the way we are now is the closest we can get to being in an actual relationship. understand?"

"i guess so..."

"i don't want you to be upset with me for this. are you hurt? you look it."

tyler shrugs, turning his back to the man. he feels tears burning behind his eyes, but he refuses to cry right here. he doesn't want to cry about this at all. it's so stupid, he's so stupid. he should've known. he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. why is he so stupid?

"darling, look at me."

tyler shakes his head, taking a deep breath. he has to compose himself, has to choke back the tears. if he doesn't, he's going to cry in front of josh. and he doesn't want to embarrass himself like that.

"that's an order."

but for some reason, those words make the tears flow. tyler reluctantly turns to face josh, hot tears leaking onto red cheeks. the older is silent, his mouth agape slightly as if he doesn't know what to do.

"tyler..."

"no, no, stop. it's fine," he chuckles, wiping the tears away with the tips of his fingers. he fakes a smile, despite the tears still obviously flowing. "really, it's alright. can i please go to my room?"

"do you want a hug?" josh asks, standing from his chair.

"no," tyler says, his heart only hurting more. "please, can i go?"

"yeah, okay..." josh nods, seeming unsure of what to do with himself. "i'll be around if you decide you want to talk to me."

tyler nods, quickly leaving the room. he trudges down the hallway, sniffling the whole way. when he makes it to his bedroom, felix is waiting inside. tyler only cries harder, and felix is quick to shut the door.

"hey, hey, hey. what's wrong?" the older asks, quickly capturing tyler in a hug. even though tyler told josh no, he really did need one. he hugs felix tightly, letting himself cry into his chest.

he doesn't say anything. he can't. if he tries, he's going to sound like an idiot. crying is embarrassing enough, tyler doesn't want to make himself feel worse.

it takes a few minutes, but when he finally calms down, the two sit on his bed. felix gives tyler enough space to lay down, the latter hugging a pillow against his chest. "i'm so stupid," he says.

"what happened? did he hurt you?"

"not on purpose," tyler says quietly, staring at the ceiling. "i can't even blame him. i can't be mad at him. it's not his fault."

"what did he say?" felix asks.

"he can't be in a relationship with me even if he wanted to, and that the way we are now is the closest it'll ever get."

"oh, ty..."

"but he was being so nice about it and when i started crying he didn't know what to do but he looked scared and it made me feel worse... and i shouldn't have let myself cry but i'm so fucking stupid," tyler rambles, eyes filling with tears again.

"hey, no you're not. your feelings are not stupid, ty. i'm sure josh understands why you were upset. he just doesn't know how to react in situations like that."

"and," tyler continues, "he even asked me if i wanted a hug. i told him no..."

"and did he still give you one?"

"no."

"damn that man. i have to teach him a few things," felix mumbles, rolling his eyes. "you have to understand, ty, he's never opened up to anybody before. all his life he's been told to show no emotions."

"i know, and it sucks... why would my dumbass like somebody like him? why the fuck did i have to fall for him? i'm so fucking stupid."

"enough with that, okay? joshua is a charming man, i will admit, but you aren't stupid for liking him. he likes you too, obviously... it's just that, given the circumstances, you two can't be in an official relationship."

"which fucking sucks."

"but," felix smiles, "that doesn't mean shit. you two could do literally almost everything couples do, except for officially call each other boyfriends."

"what do you mean?" tyler frowns. he sits up, pillow still held tightly against him.

"well, you guys can still fuck. and kiss. and hug. you guys can cuddle, hold hands, go on dates, sleep in the same bed, trust each other, have each other's backs, be loyal to each other... well, okay, aside from buyers, but i'm sure josh won't mind that. think about it, ty..."

felix is right. they can do almost everything actual couples can... even if it is behind closed doors. the only tricky part is getting josh to realize it, or want it. "how am i supposed to tell josh this?"

"don't worry, i'll talk to him," felix winks. "i'll give him a few insider tips too."

"oh, yeah? like you're such a ladies man?"

"i am, to be frank. you'll see. you'll thank me later."

"uh-huh," tyler mumbles, finally getting himself to smile. "we'll see about that."