"hit me."

"what? no!"

"come on, hit me."

"i don't want to hit you!"

"just do it, tyler. you aren't going to hurt me."

"but what if i do?"

"fine, in the stomach then."

tyler stands with a raised fist, nervously glancing back and forth between his knuckles and josh's abdomen. "do i have to?"

"yes, just do it."

tyler swings without warning, his knuckles colliding with josh's stomach. he lets out a small gasp, glancing at his hand in shock. "ow! why the hell is your stomach so hard?"

"dear," josh chuckles. "it's something called flexing. if someone is going for your gut, just flex. it won't hurt you as bad, and will hurt them worse than they expected."

"but i don't have abs?" tyler frowns, clearly confused.

"they help, but you don't need them. do it again."

the boy nods, raising his fist once more. he swings again, but this time, his hand goes no where near josh. instead, the man grabs his wrist, spins the boy around, and twists his arm behind him.

"ow, ow, ow! let go!" tyler whines, yanking on his arm.

"find a way out," is josh's response.

the brunette writhes his arm a few more times before deciding that it isn't helping at all and that it actually only makes his arm hurt worse. without even really thinking about it, tyler swings his left elbow, the one that isn't trapped behind him, backwards. he hits josh in his ribs. the man grunts quietly, but still doesn't budge.

"i cant, josh. you're really hurting me," tyler groans, hoping the older will just feel bad and let go of him.

"your opponent isn't just going to let you go because they're hurting you. that's the whole point, tyler," josh responds, but loosens his grip just a tad.

tyler doesn't really process what's happening as he counters josh. in one swift motion, he reaches his leg around josh's, kicking his shin into the spot behind the man's knee. tyler throws his body backwards, colliding with josh. the man releases tyler's arm to catch himself as they both fall to the ground, the younger on top.

"i win," tyler brags in a sing-song voice.

"good job," josh smiles. he turns tyler so that the boy is straddling his hips. "but i hope you realize your opponent won't give you that much time. they'll break your arm in seconds. you have to think quickly, tyler."

"yeah, yeah, but i still won," the brunette grins. "that was kinda fun, can we do it again?"

they spend the next few hours together, josh teaching tyler the proper technique to moves and counter-moves that he can use to win any fight. josh also has him practice shooting what he calls a "glock," but tyler can't help but call it "the gang-shit-type-of-gun."

tyler has pretty bad aim and has lost probably half of his hearing from firing the gun so many times, but josh says they can work on it some more another time. both are covered in a thin layer of sweat, tufts of hair matted to their foreheads.

"wanna shower with me? save some water?" josh winks.

"you just want me to suck your dick, don't you?" tyler asks. he can't help but smile.

"maybe," josh shrugs.

"okay, i'm down."

the older chuckles, taking tyler under his arm as they walk to josh's on-suite together.

the house has been quiet the past few days. josh was still working himself harder than he needed to, and still had yet to figure out who exactly the traitor was. he had been getting snappier with melanie, though, which kind of gave tyler the impression that josh assumed she was a possibility. it wasn't that surprising.

she had been a total bitch to tyler ever since he'd been chosen as josh's new bottom. making snarky comments, giving him dirty looks, "accidentally" tripping him whenever they passed each other in the hall... it's obvious melanie is jealous. when isn't she, though? she must consider it a personality trait.

the sound of the shower turning on breaks tyler from his thoughts. he watches josh adjust the water, removing his clothes simultaneously. he steps under the hot water first, sighing as beads of water pelt his bare skin. josh joins not too long after, immediately taking tyler into his arms.

"can i tell you something, ty?"

"yeah," he responds, resting his head against josh's damp chest.

"i know brendon said something to you that night. i don't know exactly what it was, but it was something."

"what do you mean?" tyler asks, although he's well aware of what josh is talking about.

he's brainwashing you.

he'll do whatever it takes.

he doesn't feel.

all he cares about is money.

"you just... i don't know. you seem off. distant, maybe. what did urie say to you?" josh tries to coax an answer out of him, but tyler is honestly too afraid to tell him.

he doesn't want josh to know that he's pondered the possibility of what brendon told him to be true. he doesn't want him to find out that tyler already had those thoughts on his own, and that brendon just solidified them.

"if he said anything i don't remember," tyler lies, adverting his gaze when josh looks down at him.

"don't lie to me, tyler. you're a horrible liar. i'm supposed to trust you with me life. how can i do that if you won't tell me something so simple?"

shit. tyler feels like an awful person. he's awful for having bad thoughts about josh, awful for believing brendon, and awful for lying about it.

"i don't want to hurt your feelings," tyler mutters, feeling pathetic. what's new?

"hurt my feelings?" josh scoffs. "trust me, you won't hurt my feelings."

the younger sighs, still refusing to meet josh's eyes. "he said that you're brainwashing me, that you're using me. he said you'll do whatever it takes to get me to make you more money, and that you don't feel anything towards me, that you don't feel at all. he said you're just money hungry."

"and you believe him, don't you?"

"no!" tyler answers quickly, unintentionally lifting his gaze. josh looks a bit dumbfounded. "well... i don't know."

"you really think i'm like that?" josh frowns, briefly showing his hurt before covering it back up with his stupid, stoic look.

tyler just feels awful. he is awful. he hurt josh's feelings, he knows he did. obviously what brendon said was all a lie, he just wanted tyler for himself. why was tyler so stupid all of the time? why didn't he ever just take a moment to think before letting his emotions get the best of him?

"when i first met you, i did," tyler admits. "and him saying that just... i-it fucked me up a little, okay?" god, great. now he's getting nervous.

"stop," the older says, grabbing the boy's hands. tyler didn't realize they were shaking until josh holds them against his chest. "you don't have to be scared. i understand."

tyler nods in the slightest, not quite believing him. "i... i know i hurt your feelings even though you aren't going to admit it. i- and- um..."

"tyler, listen to me," josh interrupts. "you're okay. i'm okay. everything is okay. i deserved that. i kind of was a shitty person before, i can see why you would think that."

the brunette knows josh is just saying that. he knows josh is just trying to calm him down. he should just calm down. why is he so worked up?

"i'm not mad at you," josh continues. "i'm not going to yell at you, i'm not going to hurt you. i promise you're always safe with me, so just take a second and calm down."

tyler nods, wrapping his arms around the man's waist and hiding his face against his chest. the entire bathroom is foggy from the steam of the shower, he can feel himself inhaling the vapor. josh's arms encase him, his lips pressed to the top of the boy's head.

josh is right. tyler is safe. he feels safe like this. he knows josh, and he knows that josh isn't the same person as he was when they first met. maybe if he would've taken a few minutes to collect his thoughts, he wouldn't have became a wreck in the first place. why does he always do that to himself?

"look at me," josh orders, smiling when their eyes meet. "you're safe."

"i know, i'm sorry."

"you don't have to be sorry, it's alright."

"i don't think you're like that anymore," tyler explains. "sometimes my brain is just stupid."

"everyone's brain is stupid sometimes. or most of the time, if you're talking about felix."

tyler grins. "josh?"

"yeah?"

"i think i love you."

the words slip out before tyler can just take a fucking moment to think. his eyes widen slightly, realizing what he's just done. but it's out in the open now, he can't take it back.

josh's mouth opens slightly, a bit surprised. he shuts it quickly, then reopens it as if he's going to say something. however, it's sealed shut again. the fact that he's struggling to find some sort of response tells tyler enough. he's an idiot.

the older runs his hand over top of the boy's wet hair, pushing it backwards. his lips curl slightly, but he still hasn't said anything. tyler is so confused, but he's too afraid if he says anything else he's going to embarrass himself.

"you know," josh starts, pausing to kiss tyler's forehead, "i didn't really know what love was before i met you, just the stuff i've seen in movies. i'd never felt love towards anyone else. i always thought it was some made-up bullshit. but god dammit tyler, i'll be damned if i don't tell you that i think i love you too."