TRIGGER WARNING.

MENTION OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.

INTERNATIONAL HOTLINES ON PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

I knew Jasper was vulnerable, but never expected this. I had no idea what happened in his every life nor what happened once their household left from the palace. I just always assumed that Lewis and Matilda would leave Jasper alone, as that was what they did at social gatherings, but now I questioned a lot of things. Now I knew why he was so quiet, why he always seemed terrified of his own shadow, why he was so skinny.

Jasper was never okay.

And I didn't have any idea about it.

Suddenly, every single positive thing I had about myself went flying out of the door. If I couldn't even help my own family member, then how would I be able to help the Kingdom? I wasn't the only one felt like this, the entire family in tears. Princess Alice was taken away by my mother and grandmother, not able to handle it.

Sarina held me as we sat in the hospital's waiting room, Lewis and Matilda sitting across from me with tearstained faces. They looked guilty and far from innocent, blaming themselves for many things I didn't know about. Although Jasper was their brother, he was my cousin and I cried.

And I cried.

Sarina couldn't keep it in, although she wanted to appear strong before me. She wanted to be my support structure to lean on but this wasn't something that didn't affect only some people. This was something that had an effect on everyone.

Duke Piers was with Jasper's doctor, talking about his recovery time.

Before the Royal Variety Performance took place, Jasper apparently came home after something big happened. He wouldn't tell his family what happened, but could immediately see it had a negative impact on him. He was silent straight through the performance, and after he ignored everyone he came into contact with and headed home without telling anyone. Princess Alice discovered him crying in his bed late that night.

This morning he had told his family that he was feeling unwell and would not attend the coronation, but would make it for the palace celebrations. When he did not show up, they all grew suspicious and drawing to the end of the night, Duke Piers and Earl Lewis went searching for him.

Apparently, Jasper had come to the celebrations but as soon as he wanted to enter the banquet, he changed his mind and went roaming through the palace halls. All of the Royal Guards were in attendance around the entrance and the actual ball, none of them near the southern wing where Jasper was discovered.

He was on an extensive overdose of prescription drugs, ones his parents had never before seen or even heard of. That begged the question of where Jasper got them.

When they went looking for him, they intended to head back to their mansion but a Royal guard overheard them and informed them that The Lord Viscount Jasper was indeed within the palace halls. Because they didn't leave, and instead ordered the Royal Guards to assist searching for him, Jasper's life was saved just in time.

But it was truly a close call, and that made it all the scarier.

There were other details about Jasper's state which the household elected not to tell us, and we respected their decision. This wasn't like what happened when I was in the hospital, because this was intentional. I laid in Sabrina's lap, not having the strength to sit up after relieving myself of all tears I could muster. I was still in my coronation dress, which made it so much worse. We were all still dressed up so prettily but our faces looked like horror film makeup.

I threw off my heels and unconsciously began to trace the unbelievable amount of scars on my feet, one of them protruding far more than the others. I didn't know what to feel anymore, the entire hospital scenery setting me off. I didn't know what went through Sarina's mind. She didn't even know Jasper.

My father headed over to us after speaking with Duke Piers and I sat up immediately, my eyes wide.

"What did he say?" my voice was scarily eager. He sighed deeply, exhausted.

"Jasper's going to be just fine," I breathed out in relief. "But they aren't going to wake him up for another two days. Then we can come see him," I nodded slowly, disappointment setting within me. I wanted to see him.

We headed out towards the car awaiting us and headed back to the palace, Sarina electing to stay with me for comfort. The twins were still unaware of everything, and I dreaded for them to find out. This wasn't an easy thing, and certainly not about Jasper.

When we arrived at the palace, my body was fatigued and I fell asleep as soon as I redressed and my head fell on the pillow. My emotions were full of sorrow, nothing able to cheer me up. Not even Sarina who slept with me in the same bed.

♕♥ ♕♥ ♕

The twins refused to exit their room. It wasn't until we were all headed towards the hospital that they joined our sides. Their faces were a mess, as was the rest of the family. Duchess Hannah's family had gone early in the day to talk to Jasper. It was surprising, since although they were family in name, they had no blood relations at all to each other. Count Palatine Victor apparently read some poems to the silent Jasper, having him crack a smile after so many attempts.

I didn't know Jasper liked poetry.

We thought it fair for each of us to have individual time with Jasper, because overcrowding him now was the last thing we needed. I sat in the waiting room once again, this time without Sarina. I was twitching, my led moving up and down as I sat there impatiently. What would I tell him? Could I even talk to him? What is appropriate to say in this situation?

"Melanie?" I heard and looked up to see the red, teary face of my mother. I nodded in confirmation and stood from my spot. I moved towards where I knew his hospital room was. I stared at the handle for a long time, summoning up courage to enter. I took a large breath and opened the door, entering the room.

He was seated upright in his bed, his tired eyes looking out of the window. He saw people come and go from the hospital, and wondered what each of them was for. He had a smile on his face, and that made me envious of whatever my mother had told him. Did my mother really have comforting skills?

I wouldn't know. Each time she needed to comfort me, she was simultaneously furious with me.

He looked so strange in his hospital gown, his suits seeming like a faraway dream. He had an IV connected to his arm and a pipe pressed up his nose. I could see faint white lines across his arms that my breath hitch and my hands began to shake. I wanted to run, but I knew this was not the time for my selfish nature. I shook my head slowly at myself before heading over.

He heard my footsteps and turned to regard me, faint surprise on his face. I took a seat at the chair beside him, both of us just looking at each other. I hadn't the faintest idea what to say and it took me a while to think of something.

"I told you good luck last week, do you remember?" he nodded his head. "Maybe I should have send even more luck towards to you," he scoffed amusingly at me.

"What, like a leprechaun?" I frowned for a bit.

"I don't think me throwing around tiny people will bring luck to anyone," he chuckled very faintly at me, his voice hoarse.

"With your ferocity, you might as well do just that," I shrugged, not up to argue about that. "It looks nice," I turned towards him in question.

"What do you mean?" he pointed his finger towards my head, indicating to the tiara which now sat permanently between my hairs.

"It's like your head made a natural nest for it," he laughed at his own joke while I was still mesmerised by his laugh. I couldn't believe it. I had never hear him talk this loudly before, not even as a child. It was truly a first.

"You're rather talkative today," I commented. He shrugged.

"I'm high on meds, so what does it matter?" I stayed silent at this and he noticed, the atmosphere growing tense.

"You could've told me," I eventually let out.

"I apparently could have told a lot of people. There's a list," I sighed.

"But... are you going to be okay?" he nodded at my question. "No. Answer me truthfully. Don't lie like you've done so many times before. Are you going to be okay?" he hesitated at this and turned his head away from me, peering out the window once more. It was a while before he spoke again.

"No, but I will try to be," and that was all I needed to stand up and hug him. He was shocked at my actions, almost retaliating. He eventually calmed his body and returned the gesture, his grip weak I noticed.

"We'll help you," I assured him. He smiled and nodded.

"Thank you,"

"Because... just recently, someone made me realize how important it is to know that your never alone. That you may have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but there's always people willing to help you carry that weight. And that's what we'll do. The entire family," he stated at me fondly and a small, honesty and truthful smile broke out on his face.

"I needed that," he admitted.

"I know," he stared at me for a second before a smug smile overtook his features, one I didn't know his face could produce.

"Did this 'someone' happen to be the girl who you kissed in front of the entire world?" my blush grew intense and I turned to hide my face, hearing his laugh.

"That was so embarrassing,"

"But totally adorable," I had never expected him to be able to tease, my face now hidden by my knees. He made more jokes about it and how he wished to have seen our first dance. He would've enjoyed to see the faces of the nobles having a new royal couple, which just happened to be between two girls. The atmosphere grew lighter and for the first time in my life, I felt as if I was talking to the real Jasper.

♕♥ ♕♥ ♕

Sarina was there when I exited the hospital, questioning how it went and I could answer her question honestly.

"Everything is going to be okay," I told her with absolute certainty. She stared at me almost with a hopeless expression.

"How can you be so sure?" her voice revealed her desperation. I smiled sadly in response.

"Because I truly believe that any problem can be resorted when you have the help of others, and now he has the entire kingdom on his side," I admitted to her, my eyes drifting for a second towards the moonlight encasing us. Without saying anything, I took her hand and lead her towards the open road in front of the hospital. I spun her out before pulling her back towards me, her body instinctively dancing along but her mind was elsewhere.

"What about you?" she inquired.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to be okay? Who do you have?" I twirled her around before swiftly bringing her close towards me, ignoring the honking of the horn that sounded behind us. Her eyes held so many emotions and mind reflected them, but there was only one that was important to me right now.

"Do you even have to ask?" I brought her closer, kissing her full on the lips before moving away. My smile grew, and my heart lifted. "I have you,"