C H A P T E R  T H I R T E E N

☆☆☆

For the next week, Paiten and I continued in this fashion, not quite a couple but not the strangers we once were.

We never spoke about it though, we just did stuff. We’d kiss in the mornings after breakfast, Paiten pushing her hips into mine and my arms grabbing onto as much clothed flesh as possible to bring her as impossibly close as I could, her lips urgent and sugary-sweet against mine.

She’d crawl into my lap on evenings while we watched TV, later flipping me onto my back and pressing her knee against my core as we devoured each others lips.

It was exhilarating and exciting and I felt every bit like a teenager drunk on lust. Yet at the same time, I couldn’t help the guilt that threatened to eat me alive the moment I laid down at night to sleep in Rob’s bed because I dreamed not of him, but his daughter every single night.

It plagued me at work when I was distracted by the image of Paiten in her short school skirt that showed off her marvelous long legs and a betraying thought would infiltrate these thoughts, taunting me as to why I wasn’t thinking of my gorgeous boyfriend instead?

Why didn’t I miss him? Why was I in no rush to call him and check up on him? If I was so utterly smitten by the man? Why had he never made me feel the way his daughter did?

Paiten didn’t seem to be bothered by what we were doing and if she did, she did a damned good job at hiding it. I wasn’t intent on finding out by asking, because, like I said, we didn’t talk about it.

The first crack appeared soon after when I knocked off of work earlier than usual and decided to pick Paiten up from school. It was a chilly Thursday afternoon. It was the first of May and winter was fast approaching and today had been one of those miserable days where the cold hadn’t let up for the entire day.

Paiten was downcast when she made it into the car, with a pitiful pout on her pretty face.

“How was school?” I asked.

“Miserable and cold.  I hate winter,” Paiten grumbled and folded one leg beneath the other. Today, she wore her school skirt and a pair of matching blue pantyhose, a blazer and a scarf.

Her hair was tied in a high bun, although it had been neat and done to perfection that morning, a few loose strands shrugged down her back and the sides of her face.

“It’s still autumn,” I said.

“Tell the weather that,” she replied with a grumble.

“Don’t worry, we’re well on our way home now and then you can have all the hot chocolate you want.”

“I don’t think we have any of that.”

“Okay, well we can stop at a Checkers and buy it. I’ll make you my special hot cocoa recipe.”

Paiten’s frown melted into a cute little smile, “I’d like that very much.”

A quick detour to Checkers and a container of hot chocolate and tiny marshmallows and cinnamon later, we headed back home. Paiten rushed upstairs to get out of her uniform while I made her the super special cocoa recipe my grandmother had passed down to me when I was younger.

Paiten was perched on the couch with a plush blanket wrapped around her legs when I returned.

“Here you go,” I said as I laid down the mugs. Paiten grabbed hers, a personalised mug of her and her best friend with both of their names on it.

“Thanks,” Paiten said and took a sip. Her eyes widened.

“Holy shit!”

“I told you it was good,” I replied.

“This is like, the best thing I’ve ever tasted and look at these cute little marshmallows floating at the top.”

After I’d won her over with the cocoa, she’d tackled me onto the couch and showered my face with kisses all over the surface of my face. In retaliation I tickled her sides and we ended up giggling over each other, our cheeks burning and eyes shining bright.

I’d never known such simple joy with someone before. She was smiling at me shyly while I just stared at her, coming to the full realisation that the girl was made of stardust and diamonds.

When she pressed down for a kiss, it felt different this time. There had always been a wild flow of electricity when we kissed, a mixture of lust and excitement but this time, it felt a little different. I couldn’t place my finger on it but it felt good.

We stayed tangled in that kiss for a long time, alternating between deep tongue kisses and teasing airy kisses against the surfaces of our lips. It was cold but I couldn’t feel any of the ice that had been nipping at my fingertips when the evening had begun.

I was warm all over, my hands full of the smooth, pliable skin of Paiten’s waist, my mouth locked to hers, my chest weighed down by her body mass.

“You’re really good at that,” I murmured breathlessly when we pulled apart.

“Good at what?” Paiten asked.

“Kissing.”

She couldn’t mask the surprise off of her face, “you know you’re my first real kiss, right?”

I nodded. “Maybe you’re just a natural.”

“Maybe I just really like kissing you,” she replied. She was straddling me, both sides of her legs anchored over my waist.

“Well, I really like kissing you t-”

I was interrupted by the sound of Paiten’s phone going off. She got off of my lap and grabbed the iPhone.

I couldn’t see her facial expression but by the way her shoulders kind of tensed, I could see she wasn’t particularly comfortable.

“Hi Dad,” she said and it all made sense.

I came to my senses then, sitting up and running a hand through my hair.

“Yes, I’m fine, I’ve just been busy with school is all. Hockey’s going well, we drew our last match...” I listened intently as Paiten continued to babble on about all of the mundane particulars of her life.

My ears perked up at, “oh Anna is great. We get along really well. No, Dad, of course I don’t give her trouble,” she giggled then passed her phone over to me.

I felt my throat dry up.

“Hey Rob,” I said.

“Hey Babe.”

His voice was as deep and as wonderful as I remembered when I'd last thought of him.

“How’s the work there?”

“It’s fine, I’m just missing home a little. But I’m comforted that my girls are getting along.”

“Yeah, Paiten and I are doing fine.”

“Is she really behaving though?”

There was a teasing tone to his question because he knew Paiten was one of the most well-mannered teenagers to have ever existed.

“Yes. She does her homework, doesn’t go to bed late, helps me out with dinner and keeps me company too. She’s lovely and we’re having fun.”

“I’m so glad to hear that. I miss you both so very much.”

“We miss you too and we can’t wait to see you.”

The call ended soon after and I was actually astounded at my ability to bullshit my way through a call without raising any suspicions to myself. What had I become?

“Can I ask a question?”

Paiten was biting her bottom lip as if deep in thought.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Have you and my dad been speaking since he left?”

And then it hit me.

We actually hadn’t.

We hadn’t had a phone or video call and our texts had been minimal. It hadn’t bothered me because I was obviously occupied by someone else but in hindsight it was a little odd. Didn’t he sense that something was up?

“To be honest with you, no.”

She nodded to herself and bit her lip again. She looked down at the time on her phone and then said, “I better go finish my homework.”

I left her to go upstairs while I worked on a report for work.

It was almost midnight when I finally trudged up the stairs, exhausted.

I had just made it to the top stair when the door to Paiten’s room opened and she stepped out to lean against the door frame.

“Anna?”

She was dressed in a pair of bed shorts and a tight vest that squeezed her chest tightly to the point where her nipples strained through the material.

“Yes, Paiten?”

“I can’’t sleep.”

A beat of silence passed where she fidgeted uncomfortably while I just stared at her.

I nodded, “let me just change and put my laptop away. I’m coming, is that okay?”

She nodded.

I returned a few minutes later, her bedroom door opened wide for me. She was underneath the sheets already, with her back facing me.

I tiptoed into the room and sank into the smaller bed our bodies touched because of the small space we were confined in.

I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her pure scent and the warmth in my palms from touching her.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Paiten asked.

“No,” I replied without missing a beat.

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

There was a wobble in her voice. “But at the same time I can’t explain the feeling I get when you’re here with me. He doesn’t even want to talk to you on his trip away but all I want to do from day to night is just be near you.”

“Paiten, please face me.”

Paiten did as was obliged and she turned her little body to look at me. It was pitch black outside and the lamps were off.

“I feel bad too. He’s so good to me but he’s not like you. I don’t know how to put it. Some feelings aren’t meant to be made sense of, just felt. He’s still away and we’ll deal with it when he returns but you’re not a bad person, Paiten. You have a good heart, if anyone here is a bad person it’s me.”

“You couldn’t be bad even if you tried. Did you know that Anna? You’re so good and you’re good to those around you, good to me. You make feel people feel important and you’re so sincere. When you say things, I can see how you’re feeling in your eyes and it’s so cool. I’ve never believed the phrase of ‘seeing emotion in someone’s eyes’ until I met you. I’m really lucky I know you.”

I couldn’t help but cup her little chin and kiss those awaiting lips, feeling the way the heat travelled through my mouth to my hands chest.

She broke the kiss and rolled onto her back. She fumbled a bit with something and soon after she switched one of the bedside lamps on.

When she shuffled back to my side, her entire body was covered, the only thing sticking out was her head. She pouted her lips and I leaned in closer to kiss her.

One of her hands emerged from the foliage of the duvets and she used it to take one of my hands. She led our conjoined hands under the sheets to her torso and pressed my palm against mounds on her chest.  I was astounded at the bare skin my fingers came into contact with. Paiten was topless.

I broke the kiss.

“Paiten?”

“Please,” she murmured and captured my lips into another fiery kiss.

Her breasts were small yet perky, like I’d imagined them to be in all the times I’d studied her physique.

I kept my palm still on her one breast, deepening the kiss until I heard her moaning, the sound sweet to my ears.

“Don’t be scared to touch me,” she breathed.

The severity of the situation hit me then. Paiten had never trusted anyone else to be this intimate with her, yet for some reason she trusted me. I wanted to melt.

“Are you sure?”

Paiten nodded. “Yes, I know you won’t hurt me.”

Her nose was pressed close to mine, her voice came in soft breaths. I’d never had someone place their trust in me in such a magnitude and in a way, it made me quite emotional.

“I would never, ever hurt you, Paiten,” I replied.

“I know. I trust you,” she said with a nod.

“So please,” she replied, “touch me.”

Her eyes burned with something I’d never seen before, desperation and determination, like the girl had a plan that she wouldn’t give up on until it was fulfilled.

“Touch you where?” I asked, my voice a mere murmur.

Paiten threw the covers off of her body, revealing her topless torso and panty-clad lower half. Her nipples were rock hard in the cold, the rest of her skin lined with goosebumps.

My lips parted in surprise, mostly because I was astonished at her boldness. Another part of me was just overwhelmed with how beautiful she was: smooth, soft and lithe. My mouth watered.

Her eyes met mine and one hand trailed down from her collarbones right down to the waistband of her panties and bit her lip in the sexiest of ways.

She parted her lips and when she spoke it was so soft but I still heard her with full clarity: “everywhere.”

A U T H O R  N O T E

look at me leaving y'all at cliffhangers sjajshbd

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i hope you enjoyed this chapter!