C H A P T E R N I N E

☆☆☆

ANNA CARSON

☆☆☆

"We're having another braai in Irene this weekend," Rob says to me while we're video chatting.

"What's the occasion?"

"Just a get together. It's been a while since we've seen each other as a family so we have to fix that," Rob said with a chuckle.

It was well past 23:00 and although we were both extremely exhausted, we wanted to talk before bed. The past week had been hectic for the both of us and we hadn't had much time to talk.

"Would you like to accompany me?" he asked and ran a hand through his perfect locks.

"I'd like that very much," I said.

I'd enjoyed my time with Rob's family when we last went in January. They were a kind and easy-going bunch of people.

The only thing that had had stood out was how stand offish Paiten had acted, but I supposed it had more to do with how uncomfortable she was with me. Her dad had just introduced me to her and she had little time to adjust.

Paiten and I had moved past the awkwardness of the first few weeks. I sensed that she was more comfortable around me these days.

Whenever I came over to visit, she'd talk to me instead of ignoring my existence. I was glad she no longer saw me as a threat because she was quite a delightful girl.

"I'll pick you up at your place at 11:00 on Saturday," Robert said.

"Great," I replied.

"Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight Rob," I cooed and pouted my lips at him.

He chuckled and ended the call.

I plugged my phone in on the charger and laid on my back to stare at the ceiling. I'd never imagined my life would've ended up the way that it had a few years back.

Being with a man like Robert was one of my wildest dreams come true; he was patient, kind, smart and distinguished.

We'd met through a mutual friend and after a few dates together, it was hard to deny the obvious chemistry that we had.

At first, I'd kept on waiting for him to up and leave like so many others in my life had done. I waited for him to get tired of me, or for his perfect persona to melt away and reveal the true monster he was hiding but none of that happened.

The man was literally perfect and I was smitten for him. He was the kind of man every little girl had dreamed about when the envisioned what Prince Charming would be like.

I hoped that I could be with him for as long as time permitted because I really liked him.

But when I woke up the next morning, my mind kept on taunting me, because if I really liked Rob as much as I claimed I did, then why had I dreamed about his devastatingly gorgeous daughter instead?

When Robert's SUV pulled up into the small parking space right near the stairs that led to my apartment at 11:00, I was dressed and ready to go.

I wore a red turtle neck and blue jeans with a pair of my favourite sneakers. My hair was in a neat braid down my back and smidge of red lipstick adorned my lips. It was a chilly April morning and as much as I enjoyed the sun, I loved the grey whether even more.

"You look beautiful," Robert said with a kiss to my cheek as I buckled my seatbelt in the passenger seat.

"Thank you," I said. I turned my head to peer to the back seat, "hey, Paiten."

Paiten was dressed in a light grey hoodie and jeans. Her hair fell in soft waves down her shoulders and she wore no make up. It was probable that I would never get over just how beautiful she was and the thing that drove me crazy was that she wasn't even aware of it.

"Hey," she mumbled.

The drive to Irene was silent and when we got to Robert's mother's home, Robert parked the car and we got out. Paiten trailed behind us with her head downcast, focusing on her phone screen.

Once we entered the house, we went straight to the garden. Rob had his arm around my shoulder and I had an arm around his waist. His brother-in-law Magnus and his nephew David were at the braai stand, grilling the meat while their female counterparts, Chloe and Héloise organised the snacks into bowls. Rob's mother Hester, sat at a table in the shade.

After the pleasantries, Paiten and her cousins went back into the house while the adults sat around the table and talked about a variety of things.

One of the things I liked about dating Rob was that he was very well versed in his general knowledge and could fall into conversation with any crowd. It was nice to listen to him speak and even nicer to learn from him and contribute to the conversation too.

The teenagers only returned when the meat was ready and they sat at the table with us as we all ate. Everyone was lively except for Paiten, who pushed her food around in her plate with her fork with her head downcast.

I was stating to notice that Paiten wasn't particularly involved with everyone. She was so quiet and miserable-looking. Maybe it was someone from school who had caused such a sudden drop in her mood.

No one else seemed to pay attention to it and I found that a bit odd. Was it usual for Paiten to act this moody in front of her family? It wasn't normal for me to see her like this. After she'd started to warm up to me, she was always in good spirits, always willing to engage in conversations.

Just two weeks ago, she'd walked into the house with a larger-than-life smile because her team had won their match and now she was so unlike herself.

She was seated directly across me. I caught her unfocused gaze and mouthed "are you okay?" to her and she nodded slightly and returned to pushing her food around on her plate while everyone else talked about the recent rugby event that had taken place in Centurion.

Lunch came to an end and Paiten was the first to stand up and head back into the house.

"Where are you going, Princess?" Rob asked.

"I'm going to lie down. I don't feel well," she replied.

"Okay," Rob said with a nod.

Paiten headed back inside.

Hours passed. Héloise, Rob, Chloe and I played two rounds of Scrabble while David and his father watched sports on TV. It was a nice, domesticated family evening, save for the girl who'd isolated herself all afternoon.

I tried not to over-worry about her, for all I knew, she truly was feeling unwell and just needed to be alone.

Around 21:00, Magnus and Rob went to go and buy beers while Chloe and her mother migrated to the TV to watch their favourite show while David tapped away at his phone screen.

I was in the kitchen with Ouma. She'd been with us while we played Scrabble, watching everything with a content smile.

I'd offered to do the dishes and Hester was seated at the table. We walked while I washed and rinsed the plates. I finished the last dish and placed it on the drying rack and sat back at the table.

"You're good for my Rob," Hester said.

I blushed.

"Dankie, Hester."

"He hasn't had a woman in his life for a very long time. I see you make him very happy and I like seeing him happy. He's a good man."

"Yes, he is," I replied with a smile.
"I'm getting old and grey and I want more grandchildren. Chloe and David are so old now," she said with a little shake of her head.

"I miss looking after them when they were young. David was so naughty. He put lemons in the microwave once and cooked them for ten minutes straight. I was angry that day but it's funny when I look back on it. And Chloe, ag, Chloe. She was so quiet and she had no front teeth. Sthe sthpoke like thith she had a lisp."

The old woman chuckled at her own impression. I smiled with her but then I realised that she hadn't mentioned Paiten.

"And Paiten? What was Paiten like when she was little? I bet she was cute," I said.

Hester's smile morphed into a frown in the span of two seconds and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. She vehemently shook her head.

"Every man has that one mistake that is just so big and changes his life, a mistake that disappoints his family. But he gets back up and redeems himself. Rob has always been such a good and obedient boy, that's why I was so shocked when he did what he did," the old woman rambled.

I frowned, "what mistake?"

"I don't like to think about it, dit maak my hart so swaar" she fanned herself with her hands.

"Hester, I don't understand, what are you talking about?"

Hester was sitting with her back to the kitchen entrance and I sat opposite her so I saw Paiten trailing into the kitchen with her slumped shoulders and heavy eyelids.

She reached an arm out to open the fridge just as Hester said, "he spent a year of his life gallivanting with a kaffer. He went and bloody hell knocked her up and she gave him a half-baked baby and left him with it! Now he has to face the consequences of his actions and deal with that child until the day he dies. Sometimes I wonder why the kaffer vrou didn't take her baby with her when she went back to her Zululand."

Paiten's eyes widened and she backed away from the fridge. My eyes mirrored the same expression in hers.

"Ó Anna, don't look so shocked. It's common knowledge that Afrikaners and kaffers just aren't meant to be together like that, it's so unnatural. Look at the child he had with that woman, a child made out of fortification. I am glad he has redeemed himself from his sins, kyk hoe mooi jy is. You'll give Robert such beautiful, wholesome children, something he can be proud for."

My mouth hung open and my skin came alive with goosebumps in what I knew to be equal parts of shock, anger and horror.

Hester smiled at me like there was nothing wrong in what she'd said. Paiten all but scurried out of the room with a hand to her mouth.

I had to go after her.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

I excused myself from the kitchen with the venomous woman inside of it and tried to walk as fast as I could without arousing any suspicion to myself.

I saw a flash of movement and I chased after Paiten down the corridor just as she entered a bedroom and slammed the door in my face. There was an accompanying click to the lock.

"Paiten," I said, my voice was weak and shaky, with all of the adrenaline pumping through my system.

There was no response from her side.

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered. Paiten could've lived a thousand lifetimes without hearing such words of blatant hatred and I was ashamed that I'd been the person Hester had chosen to reveal her ugly racism to.

I knocked softly on the door, "Paiten, please let me in?"

"Go away," she replied.

"Paiten, I just want to make sure you're alright, please Sweetheart, let me in..."

"Anna, just leave me alone," she whined.

I pressed my back to the door and sank to the floor. A few seconds passed before I heard an unmistakeable sob from the other side of the door.

Paiten was crying and she had no one to hold her. Her sobs were quiet and breathy and just the mere sound of it broke my heart.

When we left Irene two hours later, Paiten was dead silent in the car. She had her eyes glued to her phone screen. When we got to Rob's home, Paiten went straight upstairs to her bedroom without bidding her father the goodnight that she usually did.

"Do you think that there's something bothering her?" Rob asked me. His eyes were filled with worry and I was so tempted to just tell him what his mother had said about his daughter and the love of his life.

I wanted him to know that not only had she said all of those things but Paiten had heard them too. Just as I parted my lips to come clean, I realised that it was not my place.

As traumatised as the entire ordeal had made me, I couldn't tell him.

"I don't know. She seemed a little quiet today," I settled on saying.

"She's like that at our family events. I think she's just a little shy around them."

Of all the possibilities Rob could've thought of, 'shy' was his best guess?

He sighed, "well, she said she wasn't feeling well. Maybe she'll feel better by tomorrow."

"Maybe," I replied but I knew that Paiten would probably never recover from this.

A U T H O R N O T E

Glossary

dit maak my hart so swaar [Afrikaans] this makes my heart so heavy

kyk hoe mooi jy is [Afrikaans] look at how beautiful you are

Dankie [Afrikaans] thank you

kaffer* [Afrikaans] racial slur used towards black people. It's the equivalent to the American "nigger" and the Arabic "abeed." please don't ever use this word, I beg you.

kaffer* vrou [Afrikaans] kaffer* woman