(Published January 1st, 2016) (WOO! HAPPY NEW YEAR!)

Sunny D, Rick the Troll God, and the Greek Fire Goes "Boom"

~~~

~Octavian's favorite book is now Twilight.

Octavian looked both ways to make sure he was alone before pulling out the book with the iconic red apple on the front. He also pulled up his favorite Twilight fanfic on his phone, Fifty Shades of Grey.

Just then Reyna walked into the room, "Hey Octavian I— wait, is that Twilight?"

Octavian sat on the book, shaking his head widely. "No, it was, uh, A is for Apple!"

~There aren't bathrooms in the cabins.

What do you think this is, your own private condos?

No, this is camp! Get back to work!

~Nico now has obsidian orbs.

Literally.

He has rocks for eyes.

~OC: I put on my stilettos—

Campers: WHAT ARE THOSE?!

~Puberty doesn't exist.

Look, I understand that Rick didn't put it in the series because it's a children's series, but if your characters are making babies in the second chapter, then you might as well add some puberty in there.

I mean, at least add some acne or voice dropping in there, I don't know.

Or I guess don't.

Puberty doesn't exist in any books.

So never mind, I guess.

~Never mention the movies or official art.

Just don't.

You will be slayed.

~You're reading a really good fic but then it gets deleted because it doesn't have enough reads.

LIKE BRO, ARE YOU SAYING THAT I DON'T EXIST?

EXCUSE ME?

I DID NOT JUST WASTE MY TIME AND COMMENTS AND VOTES AND FOLLOW FOR YOU TO DELETE YOUR BOOK.

~ "Percy's eyes bore into Annabeth's, the girl he loved most."

You mean after his mother, right?

(Inspired by EllyannaStark)

~Percy being raised on Olympus.

Just, Percy being raised on Olympus.

I think that statement itself is ridiculous enough.

~Solangelo in fanfics:

Will: Omg Death Boy come here so we can snuggles.

Nico: YAY!!! *snuggles and makes out with Will*

Solangelo in BoO:

Will: Nico, just eat this gum!

Nico: Leave me alone, Solace!

Will: ... *shoves gum in Nico's mouth*

Nico: ...*chews gum* *spits it on the ground face* That tastes disgusting.

Will: Well... Deal with it. You need to get better, so eat it or die.

~If looks could kill, then Nico would be the most wanted criminal in five different countries.

His Death Glares be murderous.

~Using semicolons in random places in your story totally makes you look smarter than you are! Because nobody knows how to use semicolons and if you actually use one then you look like an English professor.

No, seriously. Does anyone know where to use a semicolon?

~Percabeth fanfic be like: Percabeth this Percabeth that

PJO fanfic with Percabeth: Percabeth this Percabeth that

PJO fanfic with no connection to Percabeth: Percabeth this Percabeth that

(from -Indifferent)

~ "When Arabell was six years old her mother was murdered by da hell hounds (OH NOES!). Dats when she found out she was da demigods! So she ran away because SCREW ORPHANAGES and managed to survive on her own as da 6 year old when she ran inta Annabeth, Luke, Thaliers, and some other random guy (was it a satyr? nymph? demigod? HAHA I FORGOT LOLZ). Den she went to CHB. Years later a new camper came to da camp knewn as PERSEUS SCHMEXY JACKSON (omigodz dont u think bi guys r so hawt lolz). Den she went on da quest with Percy, Annabeth, and Random Guy from earlier to get da lightning bolt (omgs i luv da movie bolt!!11). But when Percy kisses her on da quest, her felinez (haha geddit feline cuz i lik chat lolz) get tongue tied and she dunt knows how 2 feel! Should she stay with PERSEUS SCHMEXY JACKSON (uh, durh) or end up with LUKE CASTLEMAN (iz dat hiz last name i forgot LAWLZ) because OC needz new luv interest to make things more dramatic LOLZ."

Guys, please don't completely change the plot of canon books. We kind of need those for referencing.

But then again, Percy Jackson and the Olympians still doesn't exist.

~Lou Ellen and Cecil are never the stars of their own fanfic.

They always have to be side characters to support Nico and Will because Solangelo.

Loucil will just never be a thing.

;^; *cri*

~Will Solace is just a love interest now.

He had so much potentia—

But... Solangelo.

Will, you are now Bella Swan.

Sorry, bro.

~ "I put on my white Princess Bubblegum t-shirt [Redbubble—"

No.

Please.

Please do not tell us where you got your shirt from.

We don't need your shirt's backstory.

Your shirt ain't Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Therefore, it ain't relevant.

~ "Oh noes, da monitor (SP?) was gonna attack moi nuuuuuuuu!!!!112"

Dude, haven't you ever heard of spell check?

Google?

Well, I guess if you're ratchet enough to put (SP?) in your story, then I guess I've just lost all hope in you.

~If it's Solangelo, then it's probably a fic about Nico spending three days in the infirmary.

~Solangelo Royalty AUs.

-Will is a prince of a Random Kingdom.

-He is engaged to Princess Bianca of Another Random Kingdom

-BUT BIANCA'S BROTHER NICO IS SO HAWT AND WILL MUST HAVE HIM.

-Solangelo happens.

-The end.

BOO! PICK A PLOT LINE!

Seriously, can't they be thieves or maybe part of some elite secret society that's IN THE KINGDOM? Like, why can't they be royalty but also an assassin? Now THAT'S story I'd like to read! (from  Ame_Tasogare)

~So Nico was attacked by Lycaon in BoO. You'd think he'd have scars from the attack or someth—

OC: NUUUU!!!11 NEEKS MY BABY SHALL BE PERFECT. NO SCARS. JUST ABS.

Me: But Lycaon—

OC: YOU SHALL NOT RUIN MY PERFECT LOVE! *runs away with Nico against his will*

~You'd think that Percy would look familiar to some of the mortals at the high school he goes to. Like, maybe some of his classmates went to Yancy, or maybe they recognize him from when he was the main topic for every news broadcaster for, like, an entire week when he was twelve.

But no.

Because anything that takes place before Percy was sixteen didn't happen.

Nope, Sally just popped out a sixteen year old out of—

Sally: Shhh! There are children here!

Me: Oops. Can't be ruining children's innocence now, can we?

~Every child of Poseidon has water powers.

I mean, it's not like he's the god of earthquakes or can withstand extreme heat or anything...

(from KittyCheshireSup)

~Mr. D: ANNABELLE. DISHES FOR A MONTH.

Annabeth: But... But... *cries* I'm not perfect, okay? Why must I be punished for who I am? Athena, please accept me for who I am.

Percy: *puts arms around Annabeth* It's okay, you're perfect just the way you are. Don't let their opinions change who you are on the inside.

Annabeth: *tears slide down her face* Thank you Percy. Thank you for always being there for me when nobody else is.

Percy: *hugs Annabeth* I'll never leave your side, Wise Girl.

Mr. D: Gods woman, it's just dishes.

Mr. D: You're being so dramatic over such a small thing. Get a grip, this is life, and nobody cares about you or your feelings.

Mr. D: Now go put on your big girl pants and do those dishes instead going off and crying to a mother who couldn't care less about your existence.

(from libraryhaunter)

~There are actually fanfics based off the movies...

*Anger goes haywire in my head*

Anger: Congratulations 20th Century Fox, you've ruined the fandom. First the movies, and now the fanfics!

~Chaos' Army includes:

-Luke

-Silena

-Beckendorf

-Bianca

-Zoë

I guess characters such as Castor, Lee Fletcher, Michael Yew, Phoebe, Ethan Nakamura, Naomi, Celyn, Kinzie, Bryce Lawrence, Michael Varus, and Octavian are too swag too swag to join Chaos' Army. (from calypsovaldez2722 and Jackie_Snow)

~Person: *dies*

Hades: Okay, welcome to Elysium!

Person: But isn't there some judgement or—

Hades: Nope!

Person: Can I have rebirth to go to the Isle of the Blest—

Hades: Isle of the wha?

Person: Where's the Fields of Punishment and the Fields of Asphodel?

Hades: lol idk. dey dont exist.

Person: ( ﾟoﾟ) *le gasp*

(from calypsovaldez2722)

~Everyone at Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter become immortal just to look for Percy when he runs away with Chaos.

Like bro, you think the gods care enough about Percy to make some irrelevant demigods immortal?

Uh, sorry to burst your bubble but, uh...

YOU ALL PAWNS.

THE GIVE BIRTH TO YOU SO YOU CAN DO THEIR DEEDS AND DIE.

SORRY.

(from thatonefetus <- YOUR USERNAME IS KILLING ME XD)

~Why use actual cuss words for insults when you can say "Erre es korakas" (Go to the crows) and "Braccas meas vescimini" (Eat my pants)?

Seriously, who needs cuss words?

These are top notch insults from twelve-year-old Annabeth and Percy!

Self conscious: But Chil, the first series doesn—

Me: Hush, hush, child, don't ruin my dreams.

~Flying shoes no longer exist.

But then again, neither does Hermes.

~Will be like:

I am soooo fab, check it out:

I'm blonde.

I'm skinny.

I'm rich.

And I'm a little bit of a bitc—

Hazel: DON'T MAKE ME BRING OUT THE SOAP, WILLIAM SOLACE.

Will: *gulps* *voice cracks* Yes ma'am.

Nico: *^* *is mesmerized*

Cecil: Looks like Nico's thirsty for some Sunny D.

Nico: WHAT—

Lou Ellen: You want that large or supersized, Nico?

~Gods people, Big Three kids aren't the only ones with cool powers.

Nobody includes Hypnos/Morpheus kids, Hermes kids, Hecate kids, Demeter kids, Dionysus kids, Iris kids, or Ares kids.

Let's just take a second and think about how awesome these kids could be.

-Hypnos/Morpheus: They can travel through dreams when they're asleep, retrieve and alter memories, make people sleepy just with their presence, and can control people's sleep pattern. I mean, heck, they can cause insomnia so powerful that it kills someone. It can kill someone.

-Hermes: These kids are so freaking awesome, I can't even begin. First of all, the have incredible athletic ability. I mean, imagine, their dad is the god of travelers, they might be able to run as fast as the speed of sound (yeah, this isn't mentioned in canon, but you never know). They're great thieves and can probably be the most stealthy pickpockets you know in their sleep. They can also sense sense physical traps and can pick locks with their minds. Bro, they don't need no bobby pin. They're also extremely persuasive and great with money. And lastly, these guys are naturally good at alchemy. Like, potions and stuff. I mean, where else do you think the campers get their Greek Fire?

-Hecate: I think you already know what some of these guys can do, like controlling the Mist, creating Mistforms, summoning items like swords, levitating objects, and casting many spells from controlling elements to shielding themselves from monsters. Really, the possibilities are endless. And, even though it canonically talked about, necromancy is also in Hecate's domain. Forget them Hades kids, Hecate kids can raise the dead and do magic.

-Demeter: Controlling plants can actually be more than it seems if you think about it. I mean, plants. There's a whole lot you could do with that. Heck, you why even use a weapon when you can just control the nearest branch to choke your attacker. They be like Layla from Sky High guys.

-Dionysus: They're like the Demeter kids with controlling plants, but they can also cure and cause madness. I'll let that one sink in.

-Iris: They may not look like much because they're pretty much good artists and have good communication skills, but they might actually control light and cast illusions.

-Ares: Wow, I'm actually really surprised at the lack of this one. These guys are naturally great at any weapon they pick up, they are great a battle strategy, they can summon the spirits of the losing side of a battle, and they have the ability to curse their opponents weapons (like turning arrows to rubber). These guys are seriously boss.

-Hephaestus: Man, you've got the inventors over here! They're great problem solvers and good at mathematics because you have to be in order to know mechanics well. They can also sense mechanics, determine machinery type and use by touch, sense faults in metal ore, and sense traps in the ground. Imagine how well their skills could get someone out of a difficult situation using some invention or something. I mean, look at Leo guys. Sure, he has pyrokinesis, but honestly I think his fire powers cover up a lot of his other cool powers that came with being a child of Hephaestus.

I mean, just think about all these powers next time you're planning your OC's godly parent.

Because these guys right here, these guys are the underdogs of Olympus.

~*At le Hogwarts*

Percy: HELLO BISHES PERSASSY HAS ARRIVED.

Harry: who dafuq r u and y should we care?

Percy: I AM HERE TO HELP DEFEAT VOLDEMORT.

Harry: lol no.

Harry: we defeated voldy moldy ten years ago.

Harry: get with da times, mofo.

Hunter: WAIT LEMME INTO YOUR SCHOOL—

Harry: bish, nah *closes doors*

~Aphrodite kids are basically your high school's worst nightmare.

Lacy: O.M.G. Did you see that new winter line from Psyche? It was soooo fetch.

Drew: Lacy! Stop trying to make fetch a thing, it will never be a thing!

Mitchell: Omgs, Lacy, did you see Carter hanging out with that Arab girl? I think her name was Zia or something...

Lacy: UGH, THAT... THAT SCULLION!

Mitchell: *le gasp* Oh no you didn't girlfriend.

Lacy: Hey Pipes, mancandy at three o'clock. Wait, is that—

Piper: Reyna? With my Jason? Oh, that backstabbing, manstealing fugly slu—

Drew: *hands Piper book* Let it out, Pipes. Let it all out.

Piper: *takes book and scribbles all her insults about Reyna she can muster inside of it*

~Gods: *reveal themselves to some random high school the demigods are at, probably Goode*

Apollo: Yo Perce, wuddup, cuz!

Hermes: How's our favorite cousin doin'?

Nico, Hazel, Katie, and Miranda: Yeah, screw you too.

(from MidnightJem)

~Gruniper Fanfics be like:

.

(From Percabethbookworm)

~Percy: whoa dead Annabeth, totes a turn off.

Nico: *walks by*

Percy: *tackles Nico* WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM NOT YOUR. TYPE

Nico: I meant—*dramatic look* you are my type

Author: *makes them make out*

Readers: *crying with joy*

Me: 0-0

(from itsfangirlcat)

~Artemis: yeah I'm a virgin goddess lawl.

*many years later*

Girl: hallo I am moon daughter

Olympians: Artemis what the Hades

Artemis: lol really late April Fools.

(from Some_Random_Demigod)

~Remember George and Martha?

Yeah. Neither does the rest of the fandom.

~Leo: Yer a demigod, Annibell.

Annabell Beth Katherine Louise Marie Ella Elizabeth Jacqueline Chase: OMGS REALLY AHHHH MHDMHGDMHDHMDMHDM I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO DA CAMP DMYTSMHDSMHDM,GJFMJTDCMTH LEO WE GONNA GET MARRIED! NICO WILL BE MY CHILD AND SO SHALL WILL. PERCY WILL BE MY SASS BUDDY AND STUFF. THANK YOU LEO FOR BRINGING ME TO CAMP! I OWE YOU FOR THIS!

Grover and the satyrs: You motherfu—

~Hazel is only useful when Nico feels sad or when someone cusses. Then she disappears back to the Land of Stories with Frank.

I mean, hey, at least she's with Frank, right? (from CityofInfernalHunger)

~ "Percy shot Octavian an icy glare."

Me: OH STYX.

Me: MOVE BISH.

Me: GET OUT THE WAY.

Me: GET— GET OUT THE WAY.

Percy: *ice shards shoot out of his eyes and into Octavian's heart*

Troll: The only way to heal Octavian is by an act of tru—

Me: Rick, who let you in here?

~Hecate kids aren't the only ones who can control the Mist.

Hazel, if anyone remembers, is favored by Hecate and can control the Mist.

Thalia was taught by Chiron on how to control the Mist. With a snap of her fingers, she could alter one's memory.

Literally.

But, those two don't exist. So...

*snaps fingers*

*Hazel and Thalia get sucked up into the Land of Stories*

~Person: So what's up with all the blue food?

Percy: BLUUUUUUEEEE FOOOOOOOOOD.

Person: But why—

Percy: BECAUSE.

Person: Because what.

Percy: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.

Sally: Boy, you better not be takin' all the credit. The only reason you know of blue food's existence is because Gabe challenged me by saying it didn't exist.

(From Rivershadow)

~Leo: SKITTLES! WHALES! FIYAAAAAAAH!

Guys, Leo use to be really smart and good with math.

Now Leo's IQ dropped into the Vortex of Oblivion.

(from Ariadc123)

~Nico must be cursed by Morpheus or something, because he always gets nightmares:

*Nico sleeping*

Nico: *has nightmare, probably about Tartarus or Bianca*

Nico: *wakes up screaming*

*Will/Percy/Jason/Leo (depending on ship) comes into cabin*

Will/Percy/Jason/Leo: Neeks, my smol babeh, are you okay?

Nico: No.

Will/Percy/Jason/Leo: Come here, we shall huggles.

*Will/Percy/Jason/Leo and Nico huggles*

*Will/Percy/Jason/Leo and Nico make out*

~ "I looked in my closet, deciding on what outfit to wear. I never really care much about what I wear, as long as it's comfy even if it does look ratchet. I pick out a lavender crop top with sparkles on it and put on a black spaghetti strap tank top from Abercrombie & Fitch (A/N Omgs I love that place! I get all my clothes from there!). Then I put on dark skinny jeans and a belt, and lastly my cherry red stilettos."

Ugh, you said you didn't care what you dressed like! Why freaking describe it?

News flash: WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.

And the last time I checked, stilettos aren't even comfy.

(From CityofInfernalHunger)

~The Party Ponies are also MIA.

They must've ran away to Narnia.

~ "I slayed that mortal mofo with my celestial bronze dagger because they were getting annoying af."

No bro, you are getting annoying af.

Mortals can't be slayed by celestial bronze weapons.

But I'm about to get your butt slayed by a celestial bronze weapon, that's for sure.

(from Young_Volcanoe)

~Nico be like:

Nico: I GOT ALL DA BOYS.

(Media)

~Demigod: *brings Greek Fire* GREEK FIRE GOES BOOM, BISHES

OC: lol nah

Demigod: Wha—

OC: greek fire dont exist

Demigod: But I gotta blow up—

OC: bye bish.

Demigod: Wha— *falls into The Land of Stories*

(A/N) YAY! HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! AND ENJOY THE GIF, KIND OF IRRELEVANT BUT I LOVE IT, I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Man, I've experienced so much this past year... I met a lot of new friends... Joined a whole lot of collab accounts... But the craziest thing is that PJO Moments is now on it's way to it's two year anniversary. Wow, in just a year and four months, this book has accomplished so much, and I probably would've stopped this book around chapter three if it weren't for all of your support. Thank you so much for sticking around next to me all this time! 

Now, a toast!

To original fanfics and slaying Mary Sues!

*clinks glass*

CHEERS!

Well, see ya on the flip side of 2016!

BYERSIEBYES MY FLUFFY ENCHILEADAS!!!!!

With Love, Pacific Green Sea Turtles, and Fluffy Pies,

~Chilea, daughter of Demeter and legacy of Apollo.❀ ☼