(Published March 6th, 2017)

[Fanfics of the chapter: The Disappearing Goddess and The Forgotten Deity by neverlanded]

~Nico can't shadow travel if there aren't any shadows

(From @ReadingFanficsOnline)

~Hot girl: *walks by*

Jason: *whistles*

Leo: bro she's fine af

Jason: dibs

OR

Nico: so Will accidentally fell asleep in my cabin last night--

Jason: "fell asleep"

Nico: What's up with the air quotes?

Jason: you know what's up with the air quotes

Jason: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nico: Jason what's up with that face

Jason: yOU KNOW WHO GOT SOME OF THAT SAUSAGE LAST NIGHT AYYYEE

Nico: wHAT

Totally canon. Jason always acts like a disgusting pervert.

What? You say he doesn't?

Oh, that's because you read that lame "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" series and "The Heroes of Olympus" series. BORING.

"Pervy Jason and the Hoelympians" and "The Hoes of Hoelympus" is where it's at. All the big ballers are reading it.

Like, get with the times, bro.

#PervyJasonFTW everyone.

~There 👏 is 👏 a 👏 difference 👏 between 👏 plot 👏 and 👏 tofu.

~Argus is what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.

~"She's a face sucker. I was wondering if he was gonna have a nose when she got done with him. 'NO, YOUR LIPS DON'T GO THERE--'"
-anonymous on describing every OC ever

~Pre-BoO fanfics when BoO came out:

Percy: *pops up in front of Nico* I wANNA KISS YOU, NICO-- Oh wait I'm supposed to be Will

Percy: *disappears*

Will: *appears* I WANNA KISS YOU, NICO

Nico: WTF

~When the Author is extra when they're writing descriptions:

"His eyes were glistening with the ghosts of his past."

Hey, well, you are what you eat.

~Forget the Hunters and Amazons?

Don't worry, they're just going to FEMINAZI your butt.

(Inspired by @travestiously)

~Reader: hmmm, I wonder how this author can improve this fanfic?

Reader: I know, I'll give them advice!

Reader: *comments advice*

Author:

Author:

(from @paintedbones)

~If the comments to this book had a soundtrack, "SOLANGELO IS CANON!!1!!1!1!1!1!1!" would be the first thing you heard.

~In Hogwarts AUs, Percy is always Gryffindor.

Not like his fatal flaw is loyalty (the main characteristic of Hufflepuff, mind you) or anything. And if it was, it totally wouldn't make up a large aspect of his personality. His fatal flaw definitely wouldn't be the core of his personality, noooo.

Percy is definitely a Gryffindor. Because even if loyalty was his fatal flaw, which it's TOTALLY NOT, then it wouldn't even be relevant. Ha, you guys thought it would be relevant to his house? Joke's on you!

~Percy: *says mean things to Annabeth and breaks up with her*

Annabeth: *cries and runs away*

Uh, no. Annabeth would not take any of that from Percy. She would drop-kick that boy to Tartarus.

~Nico is now the fandoms smol gay bb. (Rose-the-Lenny)

~Percy is Ice Jay Jay Fish confirmed

~Leo: *furtively looks around*

Leo: hey bro... you got the goods?

Connor: yeah man, I got the goods

Travis: take your pick

Hermes kids are now drug dealers

Seems legit

~"GOD GRAMER IZ 4 DA PREPZ"

~Someone with a Cliché Rant Book: *updates*

Everyone else with a Cliché Rant Book: oH SCHIST THEY UPDATED GOTTA GO COPY THEM

cliché rant books are now cliché wut .-.

~That moment when there's more Solangelo fanart from ToA than actual art including Apollo

The Trials of Apollo? Pffft, more like The Trials of Solangelo.

~Author: I can't think of a good godly parent, so I'll just make one up. I'm sure no one will notice!

The gods:

~wut in fanfiction authors have zero imagination

~Gods be handing out blessings like candy at a diabetic convention

~Person: *reading fanfic*

Person: Hey, they stole this idea from [Enter Popular Fanfic Author Here]!

Author: ...

Author: new phone who dis

~The Author's Writing Commercial of the Day:

Does your fanfic need a villain but you can't think of any?

Well, we've got a product for you!
From the creators of Smutastic™ comes the new product, Octavianism™.

Octavianism™ helps improve your fanfic quality by 153.2%!

Wow!

Octavianism™ will create a Villain that's crazy, power-hungry, ambitious, will rise up from the ashes and take over the freaking world, unpredictable, and a panda pillow pet murderer!

What's not to love?

To get your copy of Octavianism™, please call 1-800-647-OCTY
Again, please call 1-800-696-OCTI. And that's a different number.

~Leo: C'mon Beltita, time to rebuild the Argo II in five minutes!

Beltita: wut

Leo: I'm gonna need a air hammer (fabrication), an automatic center punch, a backscratcher, a block plane, a bullwhip, a burin, a card scraper, a claw tool, a corner chisel, a crowbar (tool), a dolabra, an ear pick, a g-string, a hacking knife, a hackle (wig making), a hacksaw, a halligan bar, a hand fan, a hand saw, a hand steel, a hand truck, a handspike, a hawk, a hook (hand tool), an ice scraper, a key-tar, a measuring rod, a multiple lining tool, a paniki (cutting instrument), a pickaxe--

Beltita: *bURSTS INTO FLAMES*

Leo: WTF MAN

Plate: aHAHAHA FEEL MY WRAAAAATTTTHHHH!!!!

Yeah guys, Beltita needs to be recharged.

~Wanna traumatize tiny children?
AO3 is the place, bro.

~Author: Lou waved at Cecil.

Lou Ellen: *does nothing*

Author: um, Lou waved at Cecil.

Lou Ellen: *begins to whistle*

Author: helloooooo, Lou waved at Cecil.

Lou Ellen: *checks watch*

Author: hmmm... Lou raised her right hand, waving it in a left and right motion toward Cecil's gravitational field.

Lou Ellen: *leaves*

Author: WTF GET BACK HERE AND WAVE AT CECIL

Lou Ellen: *returns with popcorn*

Author: LOU FREAKING WAVED AT CECIL

Lou Ellen: *eats popcorn*

Author: WHY AREN'T YOU DOING WHAT I SAY?

Lou Ellen: Lou Ellen can do this all day, Author.

Author: o.e

Lou Ellen: *casually sips tea*

~Lou Ellen’s last name is now Ellen.

"Hello, Lou Ellen Ellen." -@Rose-the-Lenny

(Inspired by @Ame_Tasogare)

~Thank the gods the PJO fandom knows the rules to capitalization.

*glares at all the bandoms*

this doesn't look cool, it just makes you look twelve.

The Bandoms: iT's FoR tHe AeStHeTiC!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!!1¡¡

~Demigod: *gets a paper cut*

Demigod: oH NU I HAVE I HAVE A FATAL INJURY

Demigod: *eats all the ambrosia and nectar*

Demigod: *bURSTS INTO FLAMES*

Plate: aHAHAHA REVENGE IS MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!

Plate:

~Percy: I love you, Wise Girl

Annabeth: I love you too, Sea--

Clarisse: *cRASHES IN THROUGH CEILING*

Clarisse: YOU STEALING MY NICKNAMES FOR OTHER PEOPLE, PRISSY?

Percy: wha--

Clarisse: *ATTACKS WITH FLUFFY PIES*

(A/N)
gahhh I'm tired. Hey, first update of 2017, yes? Woohoo! :D

Fanfic review: So this time around I picked two fanfics by the same author because I honestly could not decide which one I loved more. Both The Disappearing Goddess and The Forgotten Deity are freaking amazing. They both include diverse OCs, hilarious and sarcastic narrators, and background characters that you don't see too often. If you're really looking for something different and great to read, I'd suggest hopping over to neverlanded and reading anything by her, actually (I only suggested her PJO fanfics, but she is just an amazing writer in general).