Published December 25th, 2016

[Fanfic of the Chapter: Shattered Immortality by -azkabane-]

"Percadeath at Goode"

~~~

How To Write A Popular Percabeth at Goode Fanfic

To celebrate this lovely day of the year, I've decided that I should give you guys tips on how to write a Percabeth at Goode fanfic that is guaranteed to become very successful. I'm definitely qualified to tell you guys the secrets of Percabeth at Goode fanfics even though I hate Percabeth fanfics with a burning passion.

~Step One: Pick a title

The title of your fanfic will convince the reader to read your fanfic. Make sure you pick something that's unique and will stand out. Here's a list of titles you can choose from:

-Percabeth at Goode

If you pick any other then you're a fail at life and at this point you should give up and kill yourself.

~Step Two: Create a Cover

Forget that BS on not judging a book by its cover. Everyone judges a book by its cover, so you should get a creative cover that will practically pop off the page.

Make sure that your cover has a picture of Percabeth that was ONLY made by Viria. EVERY OTHER ARTISR SUCKS AND THEY ALL DESERVE TO HAVE POO FLUNG AT THEM BY THE POO-FLINGING RABBIT. If you pick any other artist no one will ever read your book. Here's some examples of covers:

Do NOT add a title or author -- that takes away from the beautiful art, and you don't want to do that. Put the fanart exactly as it is to keep the authentic beauty.

~Step Three: Plot

The demigods must have a legitimate reason to leave camp and go to high school. This is where the gods come in. Everyone knows that the Greek gods are a super caring group of people and all they want is for their children to be happy. Why not portray this by having the gods send their children off to T̶a̶r̶t̶a̶r̶u̶s̶ school? This is totally a plausible event that would have a high chance of happening in the book series, even though the gods don't give a fluff about their kids -- I mean what?

*Bonus points if Annabeth ONLY goes to Goode to surprise Percy

Because it's not like Annabeth ACTUALLY cares about school or anything*

When you have Chiron tell the demigods that they're going to school, make sure you use these EXACT words:

"[Enter Wise Man Chiron words here]"

If you don't use these EXACT words then you're a crook and a sellout and I will sEND THE FBI AFTER YOU.

YOU BETTER PREPARE YOUR PET ALPACA AND WATCH YOSELF

~Step Four: Characters

In order for your fanfiction to be successful, you must have a lovable cast of characters that the readers can easily relate with. First you must have the canon characters. You must have ALL of the following:

-Percy

-Annabeth

-Jason

-Piper

-Leo

-Calypso

-F̶r̶a̶n̶k̶ ̶ ̶

-̶H̶a̶z̶e̶l̶

-Nico

-Will

-Reyna

-The Stolls

-Katie

-Chris

-Clarisse

-Thalia

*Bonus points for OoC characters and Mary Sue OCs*

All of these characters MUST attend Goode (even though they'll disappear to the Land of Stories right after they're mentioned), or else your Goode fanfic is complete trash and you might as well delete your Wattpad and become a creepy brony. You know, the ones that write creepy fanfics and draw disgusting fanart that scar the innocent tiny children that were just trying to find a picture of Rainbow Dash to have as their home screen.

Yeah, that's you. That is EXACTLY what will happen to you if you don't include all these characters.

I am the Oracle. I know what I'm talking about.

~Step Five: Housing outside of Camp

The demigods must have a place to live, and it OBVIOUSLY can't be inside Camp Half-Blood because there's NO WAY AT ALL for the demigods to get into the city, even though Argus drives them into the city to get to their house.

So where do they live?

In a mansion that the gods who care so much about the demigods built, of course! What were you thinking? Dorms? Pffft, Goode isn't a bording school. Get your facts straight.

When the demigods get to the mansion, each demigod must describe the mansion thoroughly. I want down the wrinkles on the very last raisin, people!

The mansion must have five floors:

-First Floor: Living room, kitchen, dining room, den, garage

-Second Floor: Girls' rooms

-Third Floor: Boys' rooms

-Fourth Floor: Gym and Armory

-Fifth Floor: Party room

Every single room was be described in full detail by every single character or else no one will be able to imagine the rooms and that would be very bad indeed.

~Step Six: Course schedule and lockers

Great job! You've successfully brought the demigods to their first day at Goode! Now you must get them to their classes.

What's that? You don't know their classes? Well, let me tell you, silly!
Here is a copy their exact schedule:

-Greek
-Lunch

*Bonus points if you put Percy on the football team for no reason*

[Add some random stupid prank by the Stolls here]

[Add irrelevant flirting between OC and Nico/Leo]

[Add random fluff that no one actually cares about]

~Step Seven: The Jealous Jerk™

Now that your demigods have gotten their classes, it's time to start school!

But what's school without a little drama? Normal high school, of course! But no one wants to read about actual realistic things that happen, no, no, no. We want to read about things that would never happen in high school, because reading about unrealistic cringy events gives better quality to your fanfic!

So, how do you do this?

With a Jealous Jerk™! Duh!

What's that? "What's the point of a Jealous Jerk™?" Well, if you'd let me talk then you would know, you imbicil.

The Jealous Jerk™'s only purpose is to like Percy or Annabeth just for their looks, even though there are much more attractive characters in the series than them.

This character is ESSENTIAL to the plot and you must have one or else your fanfic is trash.

Trust me, I know everything. Except for the Blue Man Dude.

No one knows the Blue Man Dude.

Step 7.5: the party
All the drama goes down at the party, which is held at the party floor, of course.

~Step Eight: Attempted Break Up

Now it's time for the real action to begin! In order to spice up your fanfic, you gotta put your Jealous Jerk™ to use. How? you may ask. Well, I'll tell you! You must try to break up Percabeth, obviously! Our patented product, the Jealous Jerk™, only has TWO uses:

-Cheating
-Jealousy
-Rumors

Again, make sure you apply the Jealous Jerk™ to Percabeth only, because Percabeth is the only ship in this fandom and no one cares about anything else but Percabeth.

~Step Nine: The Godly Referee

Every good fic has a plot twist, and this one is yours to take! But only use this plot twist, because gods forbid that you have any actual originality in your fanfic -- I mean, uh, this is the best plot twist! :D

What is this lovely plot twist I speak of?

Through a twist in fate and the use of magical magic, it turns out that Athena was actually working behind the scenes the whole time to break up Percabeth!

What? That doesn't make sense? Of course it doesn't, you uncultured swine! I'm writing this at two in the morning, if anything DOES make sense then there is something wrong with you.

Due to this godly interference, there will be dRAMA.

But never fear, for Percabeth shall prevail!

~Step Ten: what the actual Hades comes next?

Since I've never actually finished one of these, I have no accurate advice to give you on how to end it.

But don't worry, you're in luck! Since I like you so much, I'll go ahead and tell you the secret formula for Percadeath -- I mean Percabeth at Goode Fanfics!

The secret formula is...

Cringe + Percabeth + the end = Percabeth at Goode

*Bonus points for terrible grammar*

And there you have it! Your very own Percabeth at Goode fanfic!

What is that, it say? You aren't famous yet? Well duh! That's because you haven't pestered your readers to vote and comment and threaten not to update if they don't. Trust me, you're bound to be a star if you do that.

Well, that's all the advice I have for you!

Do you have any types of fanfics that you want advice on how to write successfully? Just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Ciao!

-The Author

[FotC: This chapter's fanfic is Shattered Immortality by -azkabane-. Man, is this fic great or what! It's a fanfic that is kinda centered around Lou Ellen, although it is a Lou Ellen/Cecil/Nico/Will fanfic, along with a few other lovable characters in there. Bea is an amazing author and a good friend of mine and guys I cannot stress enough on how much you guys need to read this. It's just really good. Plus Loucil okay. Loucil.

L
O
U
C
I
L

So yeah.
I'm really tired (I wasn't lying about it being 2 in the morning) so I'm having a hard time describing Shattered Immortality, but trust me, it's good.

Have I ever lied to you guys?]

(A/N: Sorry for the short and sucky update and for being pretty much dead. School and writer's brick hit me hard.

Thanks _-echo-_ for helping me with this chapter! Tbh this update would not be here if it weren't for her. Thank you for being an awesome friend!

Anyway, Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

BYERSIEBYES MY FLUFFY ENCHILEADAS!!!

With Love, Pacific Green Sea Turtles, and Fluffy Pies,

~Chilea, daughter of Demeter and legacy of Apollo