(Published February 11th, 2015)

Grammar Popo, Persassy the Sassy, and The Giggling Boys

~~~

~Every child of Hephaestus (*cough* Excuse me, OC *cough) has to be A FREAKING FIRE USER. STOP. JUST PLEASE STOP. Leo was the first fire user since 1666. THEY'RE RARE. STAHP.

~A girl with white blondish hair and icy blue eyes bumped into me. "Hi, my name's Wynter, and I'm a daughter of Khione!"

Are you sure? Are you sure you're not a daughter of Jelsa? Because the last time I checked, Khione had BROWN hair and BROWN eyes, so why do her kids look nothing like her?!

~Children of Poseidon always have the last name "Jackson", Children of Zeus always have the last name "Grace", and children of Hades always have the last name "di Angelo" (but they spell it Di Angelo). There are other last names that exist you know.

*Knock* *KNOCK* *BANG* *BANG*

WARNING: THE GRAMMAR POLICE HATH ARRIVED. OPEN UP SO WE CAN SEARCH YOUR STORIES. IF YOU COOPERATE, WE WILL LEAVE WITH NO HARM. 

~I swear, I feel like everyone doesn't have an "Enter" key on their keyboard because most stories are just one big wall of writing.

~From the wonderful bio of @FourTrisTheFortress (modified because I don't like cussing of course): "Grammar is the difference between knowing your schist and know you're schist."

~That one author who doesn't know the difference between there, their, and they're. C'MON GUYS, IT'S ELEMENTARY STUFF!

~I swear, when I'm reading I'll see a sentence like: "Its my money, and I'm going to take it." See what's wrong here? If you don't then I'm thinking that you're lying about your age on here because if you're 13-years-old, then you would've learned by now the difference between "its" and "it's".

~The rare times I see "OMGS" typed out as "Oh, my gods", the author, of course, forgets the comma between "oh" and "my".

I swear, with all this incorrect grammar I see, I could be an English teacher. Speaking of teacher...

~The only teacher the demigods get at Goode is Paul Blofis. Guys, no. THERE ARE OTHER FLIPPING TEACHERS! And he should only teach English for one grade, which brings us to...

~All of the demigods have the exact same classes even though they're all a different age. Let me give you a break-down for all their grades(if they were starting school right after the war):

Percy: Age-17. Supposed to be a senior (grade 12), but in BoO he said he was going to do junior (grade 11) year.

Annabeth: (same as Percy)

Jason: Age-16. Starts junior year.

Leo: Age-15 or 16. Starts junior year.

Piper: Age-15 or 16. Starts junior year.

Frank: Age-16. Starts junior year.

Hazel: Age-13. Starts 8th grade (SO I DON'T KNOW WHY THE HADES YOU'RE PUTTING HER IN HIGH SCHOOL.)

Nico: Age-14. Starts freshman (grade 9) year.

These people are lucky if they get the same lunch, let alone the same class.

~The list of demigods who typically go to Goode:

The seven

Nico

Reyna

The Stolls

Katie

Miranda

Lou Ellen

Clarisse

Chris

Thalia

Drew

Lacy

Mitchell

Will (He's new ^.^)

~When the demigods go to Goode:

Mr. Blofis: Hello class, we have 26 new students today, please welcome them!

Class: Hello!

And yet nobody is questioning why 26 new students popped up in a class on the same day. I'd be suspicious if two popped, let alone 26!

~Hey guys, fun fact! The official definition for demigod is "a MALE descent of a divine or godly figure." So guys, Annabeth is not a demigod, but a demigoddess. Yes guys, Uncle Rick was wrong *gasp!*. Who knew!

~Romance scenes have 3 levels:

1. "We made out"-This author obviously has never kissed anyone before, so they shouldn't be writing a romance scene.

2. "Our lips crashed together"-The author may or may not have kissed someone, but this description is appropriate enough for the average Wattpadian.

3. "Our tongues wrestled for dominance"-At this point you know that this fanfic is rated-R, yes, the rating was lying, and you should leave before your eyes are ruined.

~Percy's sassiness has long since crossed the line. Like, I get he can be sassy, but since when did he turn into a sassy black woman? Did I miss something in TLO? When they killed Kronos, did he have a secret sassy black woman side that possessed Percy?

~BECKENDORF IS NOT A FIRE USER.

~Leo always acts like a baby on a sugar high.

Person: Hey Leo.

Leo: HI! I LIKE SKITTLES! YOU LIKE SKITTLES? HUH? TELL ME! Y U NO LIKEY SKITTLES! THEY HEAVEN! I LIGHT YOU ON FIRE!

Person: O_O *Slowly backs off before running away*.

Leo: *growl* Skittles.

~I walked into the school with my hair dyed blue.

I don't know about you guys, but at my school we can't have blue hair.

This ain't Sadie Kane.

~Percy: I teleported from Planet Chaos to camp.

I guess Percy passed his Apparition test.

And no, not Percy Weasley.

~WHY THE HADES ARE ALL THE HEPHAESTUS KIDS OBSESSED WITH SKITTLES?

~PJO Fanfiction: Filled with conveniences since 2005.

~The last time I checked only Piper and Drew can speak charmspeak. So why do a billion daughters of Aphrodite speak it too?

~Why are Zeus and Hades always the ones in on Percy's Chaos secret? I THOUGHT THEY HATED HIM!

~Nico giggled. Percy giggled. Beckendorf giggled. Luke giggled. Jason giggled. Travis squealed.

Yes my fluffy enchileadas, the guys of the PJO fandom have been possessed by crazed fangirls. We're doomed.

~Will suddenly pops up in fanfiction like he's actually relevant.

~I waited for the sun to go down.

*5 minutes later*

It's almost down!

*10 minutes later*

Just a few more minutes!

*7:23PM*

YES! IT'S DOWN!

Guys, the little asterisks and stuff? No. That whole *5 minutes later* is unneeded and grammatically incorrect.

~I went to my cabin and played my Xbox.

Yes guys, because they're TOTALLY allowed to have technology at camp *hopefully sarcasm hath been noted*

~Did I mention in Chaos fanfics Percy and all the other members of the army get a bunch of new powers? *cough* OP *cough*

~Those authors who make up new Greek monsters for villains because they're too lazy to Google them.

Guys seriously.

How can you be too lazy to Google something?!

(A/N Sorry for the terrible, short, not-funny chapter. Yeah, I know you had to wait two months and pretty much got a rant on grammar, but what can I say? Writer's Brick is a pain in the butt.

Anyway, this chappie is dedicated to @_-Calypso-_ for the ship Chiron x Artemis.

Sorry, I'm tried. And I hate Writer's Brick.

Anyway, as always, BYERSIEBYES MY FLUFFY ENCHILEADAS!!!!!

Stay Perky,

With Love, Pacific Green Sea Turtles, and Fluffy Pies,

~Chilea, daughter of Demeter and legacy of Apollo.❀ ☼