Dad: I am going to teach you the difference between how a man and woman shop. Subject 1 is a woman. She wants to buy a pair of shoes. Subject 2 is a man and he wants to buy a pair of shoes.

Now, the woman calls up a friend and tells her she wants to buy shoes. "Listen, I'm going to buy some shoes. Would you like to go with me?"

The friend says, "Sure. Oh and by the way, my neighbor would like to come, too!" So there are three of them. The women enter the mall. They know where the shoe store is, but they don't go over there. No, they start at the very first shop! An hour later, they come out and go to the next, and then the one after that and then the one after that! And finally, after midnight they leave the mall!

Now we come to subject 2, the man. He knows what he needs and he doesn't want to wander around the mall. He just wants to get in and out. So he calls up a friend, "Hey, I need to buy a pair of shoes. Will you come with me?"

The friend is like, "What?! Heck no!" Then, after some conversation, the friend gives him the directions to the shoe store in the mall. The man goes to the mall. He knows where the store is and what number it is. He's not going to go from shop to shop. So he runs down the aisles counting the stores until he reaches his destination.

[Dad proceeds to run around the room to demonstrate]

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7!

Meanwhile...

Me: *trying not to have a heart attack from laughing so hard*