Panchal

Arjun's POV

Time.

Time.

Too much to handle, too much to absorb. Too much to let everything sink but in a very little time. Too many things to settle, too many things to sort.

But in very little time.

I don't know how I will do it. I don't know. But I'll, I'll have to-

Feeling like something is slipping, something which I can't hold back is slipping like sand granules out of my grip. When I am trying to firm my fist, it is slipping even swiftly.

I have to sort it out, or act like I have sorted it out.

I have let that sink in my mind, my soul, in each and every nook and corner of it. I knew it, I always did. Always.

But now that everything is trying to shape up as predicted, I feel that I have lost myself in the aisle of this mystifying maze. Everything was crystal clear as water, but yet it is appearing vague. Vague and turbid in front of my eyes; or rather my heart because I could see vividly with those orbs of mine but the doors of my heart seem closed.

I am trying my best to open them, but they appear rusted enough to pay heed.

Everything was decided, yet it is falling apart.

I need time, so does she.

The more things appear as marshaled, the way more distorted it is internally. Things are sinking, sinking way too deep but surfacing out again. Seems like it ain't receiving a proper anchor to hold on.

I drew in a breath, letting my foot rustle on the dry leaves scattered on the rough ground aimlessly. The chilly winds of the dark weather swept past my curls, as I spotted my shadow diminishing due to the clouds, obscuring the afternoon Sun. The hanging branches of the trees prepended on the darkness even, making the dilapidated area appear more tenebrous than required.

I don't know how I landed in this area of Panchal, but I was quite grunt that I did. Because no one will be able to locate me here, at least for the time being and that's what I wanted. For now.

Silence. Sheer silence.

No interactions for a while, a total cutoff for sometime.

Maata sometimes used to rebuke me at times, for vanishing without informing. I shouldn't have, but it happens for some reason. It might be haunting for some but it is healing for me.

It gives me the ability to think, to settle, to sort, to mend. But now, nothing seems to be working. I bit on my lip a bit more roughly as I lowered my lashes, blinking. No one knows when things will settle, how will it settle, why will it settle. I just want to settle, but I don't know how.

How?

How am I supposed to do it?

Not a word from anywhere but I felt a myriad of emotions rushing in my heart, while I tried my best to focus on one. But it seemed impossible for some reason. When I refuse to think, I tremble at the thought of not thinking but when I am doing so, I feel like keeping aside them. But I can't, I know.

I feel like shutting myself down, probably for my own good. For their good, I guess. A sarcastic simper left my lips, wondering about how the Chakravyuh formation is easy to pass through when on the battlefield but at times difficult when formed in the heart.

But this-

This Chakravyuh seemed to disappear, disappear for sometime. Yes, it was--It was when I was near Him, beside Him.

With Him. For, for that moment, everything seemed settled, everything appeared sorted. I felt hopeful. Hopeful.

Pushing back my arms behind, I unknowingly began to yearn for His presence again. I didn't have to do anything yet it soothed, it calmed, it comforted. His presence comforted me, and I yearn for it again. I didn't do anything, yet He touched the most tender part of my soul through his words, through his presence.

He said everything will fall in place, I believed. He said everything will be alright, I believed.

But I want to believe it again, I want to hear them again. It felt like the doors of my heart opened for Him, those rusty doors opened for Him. Automatically.

A subtle smile etched on my lips, unknowingly as I reminisced whatever time we spent together. Everything appeared alright, everything appeared perfect, everything appeared blissful. He, for that moment appeared to provide a clearance to my soul.

Where are you, Madhav?

Where? With you everything made sense, everything appeared adequate.

Wh-why did you just go away? Leaving me all by myself?

"Where are you, Madhav?" I didn't even realize that I had mumbled out those few words, my heart feeling lonely and yearning. I felt heavy inside, as I recollected those few days spent with Him. I felt meekly vulnerable, emotions swiftly bottling inside me as I reminisced His name.

"Where are you...." My lashes appeared dimly wet as I kept on repeating the same question, "Why did you-why did you leave so fast?"

I am here Paarth, always here.

My eyebrows knitted suddenly, as the dimly voice mingled with the whiff of winds greeted my ears as I dashed my orbs around, frantically trying to locate the man with familiar iridescent peacock feathered crown and flaxen clothing.

Th-the Lord of Dwarka, is he here? Is he here?

But where?

Hope appeared to swivel in my heart as I breathed in deeply, trying to calm my thumping heart as I looked around searching for Him with my hungry eyes. I heard His voice, I heard it before as well.

Where are you Madhav? Where?

My eyes are dying to have a glimpse of you!

My smile widened as I swiveled myself, searching behind the trees, the rocks, even in the skies and clouds. Where, where is He?

I am here Paarth. Always with you, within you, beside you.

But where are you now?

I am here. Just here. Just open the doors of your heart, lift up your eyes.

I know, I know, but where are you now? I felt a sudden rush of unknown excitement, as thrill swept through my body as I followed his voice in the thin air. I felt like obeying, obeying each and every word of Him for now.

Here.

I mentally nodded following the voice only to swivel around with a jerk, the similar thrill and excitement embedded in myself but all I could inhale was a familiar fragrance.

The familiar fragrance of bl-blue lotus?

The fragrance appeared to close on and all I could hear was the faint chiming of anklets closing up towards me. I blinked furiously, as I raised up my lashes only to scrunch up my forehead as my orbs zeroed upon the dark visage proceeding towards me.

Not proceeding, she was kind of rushing.

Rushing?

Rushing towards me?

My heart thudded even faster, as if I was able to hear them up towards my ears as I was on the verge of my emotions. I breathed out, trying to fight my senses of seeing an illusion but it wasn't. It wasn't. She appeared very real out over there at a little distance, now closing up towards me.

There was nothing vague, but I could see her vividly right now.

She halted right in front of me, her lips slightly quivering as she exhaled heavily, panting for breath. Her eyebrows narrowed down with concern, her forehead curls sticking up to her dark forehead due to sweat as she began scanning me with her deep ravenous eyes once again. Avidly drinking my form as her chest heaved, licking her lips.

Those eyes again, now filled with warmth. But something else as well--

Is it a concern if I am not wrong?

My pupils dilated heavily, as I endeavored to absorb the fact of what just happened. Are my eyes betraying me for some reason? No, no it ain't. It ain't. She is very real, standing right in front of me, in full flesh and blood.

I subtly gulped down, knitting my eyebrows and a half open jaw. She pursed her lips, and gazed around, probably assessing the area we were in and again glanced back at me with those pristine orbs.

I-I was looking for Madhav.

Where did she appear from out of nowhere?

I was searching for Madhav, but you arrived for what?

"Arjun?" she softly spoke, slightly panting as her gaze zeroed on my face. Her eyebrows dipped down as she began to interlock her fingers, blinking, "I have been looking for you since then. And you ar-are here?" her voice appeared shallowly miffed.

Her words snapped me back to reality as I bit my lip, blinking a bit.

"But what are you doing here?" she trailed off, slightly confused as she shifted back realizing she was more close than required.

"I-I was just strolling, nothing else." I swiftly muttered, my orbs dashing up towards the space beside her. Her presence began to swivel an unknown warmth around me, which I wasn't feeling for this long. I inhaled a deep breath, calming down my racing heart, composing myself.

The presence of her does something strange. Always.

Very strange. Very mysterious.

"But why here?" her voice appeared even softer and amused, as she pursed her lip, "This is a restricted area of the palace you know. No, no one comes here." she slightly shook her head, looking down.

"Why?" I subtly blinked, peering at her lowered face.

"Because, this area is kind of shady and dark." she blinked twice, slightly frowning, "And very silent too." Those words came out as whispers from her lips, as she gazed around as if searching for something.

That is why I am here. It is a bit better if I am in a silent place for sometime.

A bit aloof from everything.

From you, too.

Why are you here? You shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have. This place is not for you Draupadi.

Not for you. Not at all.

"But why are you looking for me?" I stared right into her with a voice unknowingly appearing slightly stern, scanning her up and down.

A bit shaken that she had located me here, where she isn't supposed to. A bit shaken that she found me how she isn't supposed to find me.

She isn't supposed to find me here. She ain't!

No one is supposed to find me right now, but she did. She did.

Why?

I bit my lips a bit hard at the thought of it that she did what she ain't supposed to do.

Why is she here?

"Um--Maata Prishati was asking me to look for you. Its nearly noon, and you weren't here." she spoke out, peering at intervals, "For meal."

"Everyone arrived except you, so..."

Oh.

Oh.

"Oh, I would have arrived by myself." I spoke lowly this time, my eyes resting on her lowered figurine.

"But you didn't, right?" her voice appeared firm as she raised her lashes, bearing directly into my as she crossed her eyebrows gradually, "That's why I had to come."

 She looked away with her narrowed eyebrows, forming her lips into a thin line. Her voice was soft yet meekly miffed, filled with concern. I didn't even realize I was gawking at her bemused, slightly dazed.

She gave a last peering look at me and turned around to leave.

"Listen?" I didn't know what struck my mind but I immediately entangled my fingers around her wrist, halting her. My calloused fingers contacted her mellow soft skin, feeling as if I was touching the petals of a blue lotus itself. I could feel her getting slightly excited by touch while she paused in her tracks, as I inadvertently brushed my fingers on her wrist tracing it down to capture her smooth palm with mine.

My features softened unknowingly, as my senses were pervaded with the scent of her soothing blue lotus while my thumb began to graze on the surface of her palm as my fingers encircled them tenderly.

I felt calm all of a sudden, an unreal bliss to be precise. Unknown yet so certain.

I had a similar feeling before too....

With whom? With whom? Whom?

Oh yes, yes...

Yes, something close to this, when I was with Madhav.

Almost this, yeah. 

My lips articulated into a faint smile, as I recalled how a few of the spectators teased me in the Swayamvar that how the hands of the one who lifted the mighty and heavy Kindhura could hold the hands of their beloved Princess tenderly?

"Hmm?" she responded dimly, slightly turning towards me.

"Ho-how did you know," I whispered, closing myself towards her back. Half shutting my eyes in slight confusion, slight daze yet with an unknown sense of peace, "How did you find me?" I gave a long blink to my lashes, feeling slightly intoxicated in the bliss.

She slightly turned around, meeting her eyes with mine. Those almond shaped eyes, they began to glow, glow once again with an unknown emotion and warmth. Again, like it always did no matter what the reason might be. She released short breaths, as I gently pressed her palm with my fingers, probably waiting for her response.

"That I don't know," her voice was nothing but a clear whisper, as she closed her lids and gave a long blink to them again, half-dazed, "It, it just felt like you would be here."

"I just trusted my instincts." she concluded with shut eyes, as I closed upon her gradually.

Her body seemingly began to relax as we were almost close, my senses giving up due to the delicious fragrance and the bliss of having her near me.

I am here, with you, beside you, within you....

What does that mean....what is He trying to say? What is all this?

Those words began to ring in my mind and ears, those words which sounded in the atmosphere.

"Oh," I breathed out as a whisper, my senses giving up totally as I leaned in slightly to rest the tip of my nose on her head, as I felt her drawing close to me.

I am here. With you, beside you within you.

I will find you when you're lost.

The alien voice of the air kept on repeating in my mind, it felt mine yet it wasn't. Those words weren't discernable to whom it belonged to, whether it was me or Him or her.

Is this voice of Krishna or of Krishnaa?

I am here, open the doors of your heart Arjun.

Open them.

"Hmm," she responded after a while, her voice almost dying out with the winds as I fortuitously brushed my lips against her forehead, completely lost and smiling to myself.

I am right here, always.

Always....

A sudden thunder made me flinch slightly, breaking me out of the daze I was in as I widened my eyes, realizing what I was trying to do. She flinched hard, stepping back swiftly and glancing around, clearly flustered.

I gulped non visibly, looking straight towards the path while she started pushing the strands of her hair behind her ears, blinking around furiously.

Alright, what on earth did just happen---

★★★★★★★★★

A/N

Arereree, ye dono to bhawnao me beh gaye.....🙈🙈🙈🙈😂😂😂.

Arjun be like--Kyu aayi ho tum yaha 🙂.

Draupadi-- Aap khud nahi aate, isliye humko aana padhta hai. Pata nahi din dahare kaha gayab hojate hai.. 🙂

Arjun-🙂*internally* Gajab ladki hai yaar, kahi se bhi prakat hojati hai *scans her up and down*

Draupadi- 🙂*internally* Gajab insaan hai yaar, bina bataye kahi bhi gayab hojate hai *scans him up and down*

Arjun--🙂...

Draupadi-- 🙂...

*staring game started*

*A few moments later....*

ArDi-*found kissing each other* 

Satyabhama--Y-ye dono--🤐🤐🤐

Krishna--Chal Bhama, chal yaha se....*smh and takes Satyabhama away with him* 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Btw who else relates with this "shut down mode" of Arjun? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 

Arjun--Sochna samjhna hai  to shut down mode me chala jaata hu U_U. *background music of Intel shut down*

Signing off for today~

Kiritija Nushkie