I'm sorry. My words are stuck in my throat and my fingers are too frozen to text. Maybe I'm just too cold inside. Am I?... Please tell me. Because you're not the only one breaking. Sometimes I just wish you were in my head to understand me... But you seem like you already know my every emotion.

I'm the one who's torn. Not you. I can't make my decision. Because...I'm not strong enough to break someone's heart, I'll end up breaking myself. I know you can't see me like this, I don't know why I'm like this. I just wanna run into your arms and ask you to hold me tight. Hold me long enough so the ice in my heart can melt... and flow out as tears. I know we're so far apart it hurts you. But I really need you. You're ... more than just a special person in my life, that... I can't afford to lose you by making the wrong decision. I hate... I just...Hate myself.

I shouldn't have gotten close to you... But everything feels so right when I'm with you. I feel like I'm losing myself. I feel heavy chains around my wrists. I know you can free me... I know it hurts you to see me like this. But please don't go away... Help me... Help leave without breaking these chains.. Because these chains grew stronger since the day the were placed around my wrists. A little beautiful bracelet that turned to shackles. I don't want to break them. I don't want to break you.

I know you keep telling me to take a stand... my knees have given out already. Just.. hold me so I can find peace at least for a moment. I can't go on anymore... I know the rage you're in to break these shackles. I see that rage behind your eyes as you help me hold up these chains. I see all that pain and tears on your eyes that make me cry. I can't do this to you. I can't watch you leave, and I know you won't. I can't take this pain. I can't live with myself if I take a decision. I can't live without taking a decision! I can't hurt you after seeing those mountains of love held behind those glass walls.

I need you. I need your help... to help me out of this...

Because I don't want to... And I just... Can't....