MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES (SPECIAL EDITION, BITCHES)!!!!

PANTY AND STOCKING...

...VS...

...THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!!!!

BEGIN!

• The Powerpuff Girls: •

Buttercup: The city of Townsville ain't big enough to fit the both of us!

Blossom: Head right back to your hellhole turf and find some shitty ghost to bust.

But: These pint-sized kaiju-killers pack a pulverizing punch!

Bubbles: We've got the skill to put you fallen rejects' namesakes in a bunch!

Blossom:

There's no way I can sugar-coat your fast-impending verbal smacking;

When our rhymes release, they'll pull you under like a Craig McKraken!

Plus, that undie gun you're packing doesn't frighten me one tittle;

In contrast to Mayor's snack troubles, you're sincerely in a pickle.

Buttercup:

When this Buttercup builds up her spicy flow, she won't let down;

Sure as love makes the world go 'round, there'll be no mercy for you clowns!

My mouth is like a can of Whoopass while I spit these mad tongue-twisters

At this Gangreen Gang-banged skank and her prediabetic sister!

Bubbles:

Everything nice may be on our list of primary ingredients,

But think twice if you'd try to freedom-beef with us, you deviants!

What's with your Daten dialect? I scarcely can distinguish;

Your gratuitous linguistics are confusing as Mo' Linguish!

Blo: Calling you rank harlots "angels" is an insult to the Bible.

Bub: You make Bartleby and Loki look like Gabriel and Michael!

PPGs: Powerpuff Girls Rule!

But: You'd best repent.

Bub: We hold the key to victory...

Blo: ...And See Through all our second set of wack Jap' doubles' trickery!

• Panty and Stocking: •

Panty: Yo, turn those buggy Keane eyes' full attention to our corner,

And get shown how shit goes down at Paradise and Hades' border!

Stocking: We outdo your tepid ventures just while sitting in the living room,

So sod off on some comet; that's the only tip I'm giving you!

P&S: Once these Daughters of Anarchy rev up our vocal engines,

We won't need our mother's help to stomp you freaks out with a vengeance!

S: We're the best!

P: The baddest angels ever dreamt up by Gainax!

S: Call us the Beat-Alls!

P: ...But no tricks of yours are splitting up our act.

S: You fingerless mistakes can't match what we'll deliver through this bout!

P: It doesn't take a brain the size of Mojo's figuring that out.

P&S: Come at us with your Dynamo, and we'll out-damage-deal you still!

P: Compared to our ace-artsy, sexy style...

S: ...You're straight-run-of-the-mill.

P: We even make South Park seem tame!

S: You softies better Fly Away Now.

P: Crossing us, you'll never save yourselves, much less see through the day!

S: Ow!

P&S: We'll see you go up in flames just like your retard sister Bunny,

Do the same thing to your fucking ghosts, and make some cold, hard money!

Stocking:

I'll make your cross-dressing devil look as weak as an amoeba,

When you're sliced to bits by this katana-brandishing lolita!

Never go lite on my eating, and that carries over lyrically:

Not since the sack of Rome's there been a Goth of such severity!

Panty:

I'll try to keep this Brief, but I've got something to profess:

I made your daddy fill me up with his Chemical Triple-X!

Stocking: But wait, there's more!

Panty: That's right, 'cause following my fucking your creator,

I went right ahead and got with your old pal, the Narrator!

• The Powerpuff Girls: •

Blossom: Captain Underpants should shut her fatherfucking mouth and listen:

When's the last time that you literally killed a boy with kissing?

Bubbles: If you lifelong-naughty-listers were based on us even partly,

Your creators shamed our image more extremely than Dick Hardly!

Buttercup: I'll knock more than Stocking's socks off when she gets her just desserts:

A beatdown bigger than the size that ought to be this glutton's girth!

Kick that sweet tooth straight down your throat, along with all the others too;

Leave you your boyfriend Patrick's perfect match!

Bub: And now we turn to you:

Blo: Next to this whore, Sedusa's prudish!

But: There's no rod you'll not hop onto.

Blo: Bitch, you couldn't be more a piece of meat if Fuzzy Lumpkins shot you!

Bub: Even all your fans agree that, like a certain spoiled Princess...

PPGs: ...You aped off the Grinch's schtick and had the balls to ruin Christmas!

Bub: We were made with love and caring!

But: You were clearly made on crack.

(*Powerpuff hotline beeps*)

Blo: Hello? It's for you:

Invader Zim: GIVE ME MY ROBOT BACK!

Blo: We'll be right back in action next year!

Bub: ...If not vocally as Strong.

But: Hey, hope you don't mind if we ask how season two's coming along?

• Panty and Stocking: •

Panty: It's time to even out the odds...

Stocking: Hope you don't mind a late arrival.

P&S: Bitches, P.S.G. is taking full advantage of its title!

Garterbelt:

Master G with zero "E"s is here to give the mic a whirl;

Know when I say I'll pump you full of bullets, I ain't talking squirrels!

The Scarface version of the Wandering Jew's rap-mastery's eternal,

But I highly doubt we'll see your blowing-up-to-bits' reversal!

P: Unlike romance, you can trust I'll keep these verses going steady.

S: Sugar-rushing at you hard!

G: Even my afro's combat-ready!

P&S: Hounding kindergarteners harder than our pet when he's unzipped!

G: Like big-screen stardom, for the task of besting us, you're just not fit.

P: We think outside the Sanitarybox to put you in your place...

S: ...With disses rich as any pudding, and you needn't wait to taste!

P&S: When we're done dropping bombs on you like tissue wads on spermy soldiers...

PSG: ...You'll be envious of Chuck for being destroyed so few times over!

• The Powerpuff Girls: •

Blo: Bedtime's drawing ever-closer, so let's wrap up with these nasty hacks...

Bub: Well, Garter can go home and bind and gag his pederasty ass!

PPGs: We're C.N.'s most enduring stars!

Bub: Straight-classic animation.

But: You're as trashy of a fleeting fad as nasal masturbation.

(*Fly away*)

• Panty and Stocking: •

Stocking: Oh, so now they fly away?

Panty: Hey, what the fuck; that shit's ridiculous!

Garterbelt: Aw, shut your hoe-ass mouths; I shouldn't have let you drag me into this!

Announcer:

IT SEEMS THERE'S STILL SOME FIGHT IN YOU; IN FACT, IT'S UNAMBIGUOUS.

THE GIRLS HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING, THOUGH, SO TRY ON THEIR ANTITHESIS...

• The Rowdyruff Boys: •

Raise up!

Brick: The boys are back in town!

Butch: You bitches best be nervous!

Boomer: We spit ten times volatile as your average little scourges!

But: Screw snips, snails and puppy tails, because we're made of downright dopeness!

Boo: None can keep us in their custody.

Bri: Your situation's hopeless!

Boo: We love nasty things...

Bri: ...Like boogers...

Boo: ...BELCHING...

But: ...Barf...

Bri: ...And eating bugs!

But: What else do you suppose became of Roach Coach and his ugly mug?

Boo: A sweet transvestite brought us back and made us safe from cootie-kisses...

Bri: ...But we need no vaccination to withstand your puny disses!

Boo: Man, we rule the streets...

But: ...Unstoppably!

Bri: Designed for causing strife!

Boo: The biggest one-shot breakouts since Steve Urkel!

RRBs: ROWDYRUFF 4 LIFE!

Bri: Built tougher than a house of my namesakes!

But: ...And marginally smarter!

Boo: Hurling like a Boomer-ang, and cue that "OHMYGOD!" from Garter.

But: Zingers stinging more severely than your Queen Bee ever could...

Bri: ...Your day is doomed when we launch our attack!

Boo: Give up; you know you should.

Bri: Plus, don't you pair us with the 'Puffs unless you want things getting gory...

But: If you're talking Powerpunks, however...

RRBs: ...That's a different story!

• Panty and Stocking: •

Garterbelt: Damn, these pricks are spastic!

Stocking: Make like your teenager selves and mellow.

Panty: When predicaments get drastic, I'd say: call on strange bedfellows!

• Scanty and Kneesocks: •

Kneesocks: That's right, roll out that red carpet...

Scanty: ...And prepare for double trouble...

K: ...From the dopest demon duo...

S: ...And the most delicious couple!

S&K: WINCEST!

S: We're pushing all your buttons...

K: ...Sans the self-destructor...

S: ....And no Fastener will keep you put!

K: We'll send you flying, suckers!

S: It's these brats' last Judgement Day when we wage verbal prosecution!

K: Though you didn't murder Stimpy, still you'll face electrocution!

S: No attorney, ape or otherwise, shall grant you absolution!

K: How you losers gonna school us when we run the institution?

S: You're areek with instability, and lacking in camaraderie...

K: ...But now this rap belongs to us...

S&K: ...So get off our property!

K: We've mass-replicated specters more substantial than you bastards!

S: If you think you're in a bind now, though...

S&K: ...Just wait and meet our master!

Corset:

It's your Final Fight if you'd mess with the mightiest mayor since Haggar;

Potent purple people-pwner with a dominating swagger!

It's no D.C. Confidential info that I'm full of tricks:

Just when you think I'm gone for good, I'll be reborn out through your dick!

The reverend says I lack restraint, but mic-control's a different deal;

When Corset's curses course, it's like the gates of Hell have been unsealed!

Now, to my sides, girls; be my weapons as we decimate these fools...

S: We are the demons...

K: ...We're dynamic...

C: ...And you'll all bend to our...

SKC: ...RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUURRLLLEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Stocking: Alright, that seals it, I'm joining them.

Panty: Huh?

Garterbelt: Wait, what the fuc-

(*Explosion, maniacal laughter*)

Announcer: HMM... YOU KNOW, AFTER TALKING SWORDS, LIONS WITH SNIPER RIFLES, DESPOTIC PIGS IN ROBOT SUITS AND THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST, THAT REALLY ISN'T ALL THAT SHOCKING ANYMORE.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!!!!

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!