MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!

ED...

...EDD...

...AND EDDY...

...VS...

...YAKKO...

...WAKKO...

...AND DOT!!!!!!!!!

BEGIN!

The Eds:

Eddy: Coming straight at you live from Peach Creek, it's the scammers with the most...

Ed: ...Laying lyrics down on Termite Terrace twerps like butter on my toast.

Edd: To mess with Cartoon Network's golden boys, you're nutty as old Slappy!

Eds: Unlike our Big Picture Show, your effort's ending won't be happy!

Eddy:

Call me Brother Eddy Grunt, 'cause things are getting extra-ugly:

We'll be knocking out your lights; best say goodnight to everybody!

Get you quaking like some 1994 Northridge debacle;

Hard-set on you as the Kankers on their ship inside a bottle!

Edd:

Double D's no mumbler on the mic; I'm practiced to perfection:

Drop you faster than a Lackadaisycathro infection!

In contrast to what's beneath my hat, our win will be no shock;

My home's a mess compared to how completely I'll clean all your clocks!

Ed:

I needn't channel any viking to slay these three little creeps;

I put away more snacks than Wakko's appetite while I'm asleep!

Didn't bring my monster suit, but still my disposition will be beastly,

As I beat the living gravy out these runts of unclear species!

Edd: Unlike hippos, if you'd cross us, you belong on the endangered list!

Eddy: You roaches are pathetic as those loser Urban Ranger kids.

Ed: The water tower couldn't succeed at keeping you impounded,

But I'll dig a hole and leave the Warners six-feet-under-grounded!

The Warners:

Wakko: Good Idea...

Dot: Yo, take a sticky note of this:

Yakko: Roll back your neon tongues inside your empty skulls and call it quits!

Wakko: Bad Idea...

Yakko: Step to Spielberg's favored animation legends?

Warners: Like the street you call your home, it's only leading to a dead end!

Yakko:

You'll tear out what little hair you have before this gig is over,

For we'll cause you more vexation than a pebble in your loafers.

You're hard-pressed to land a single quarter safely in your wallet;

If ol' Ponzi's the con-art Picasso, you're the Jackson Pollocks.

Wakko:

Think of Wakko's wacky words as like an anvil to the noggin:

When they drop, they'll bring more hurting than a triple-sneaker flogging!

I've got swiggy-swag aplenty and a bag full of surprises,

But your style is as paper-thin as Chicken Boo's disguises!

Dot:

In this corner: Warner sister with a poem to recite;

Wouldn't service Prince, but I'll lay more than fingers on you when we fight!

You haven't misaddressed me once, but still I'll send you to your maker:

Your big bro's abuse was tame next to my literal jaw-breaker!

Yakko: We teach history and geography at no expense of fun.

Dot: When you attempt to learn, you butcher space and time and eat the sun!

Wakko: Here's our half-cents for you half-wits if to defeat us is your mission:

Even wishing on a star could never bring that to fruition!

The Eds:

Eddy: And the sound of no one caring echoed through the neighborhood!

Ed: I bet you'd get along with Johnny, 'cause you're dumb as hunks of wood.

Edd: Although your naughty humor's subtle, your hypocrisy is blatant:

Your nitpicking disses sound like Get-a-Life Foundation's patients!

Eddy: We'll go Canada-cowpoke on you, and this time we won't miss!

Ed: Leave you more desperate for relief than when Ringo here needs to piss!

Edd: The Dodgeball mishap hit me hard, but we'll knock you clean off the court!

Eddy: ...Then unforgivingly insert electric eels inside your shorts!

The Warners:

Yakko: You lumpen dorks are full of nonsense as your stupid limbo theory is!

Dot: Let's blow the roof clean off this joint like Katie on her period!

Wakko: Go make like your old friend Jib, and hightail it on some bus...

Yakko: ...'Cause they may still be making dickies, but not 'toons as dope as us!

Wakko: Our words will haunt you like the ringing of a cursed telephone;

Dot: How can you scare us, when your own girlfriends send shivers through your bones?

Yakko: Our show's The Godfather of cartoons!

Wakko: Yours is for the birds, you bumblers.

Dot: What's your theme of whistles next to any one of Rita's numbers?

The Eds:

Eddy: Man, we'll cut you down to size worse than your slutty Mink's filmography!

Edd: You couldn't even beat us with reverse-reverse-psychology!

Ed: You'll need a nurse for real!

Edd: Can't beat us anywhere, you bastards!

Eddy: Even Rolf's homeland of Yeshmiyek and fish-balls ain't that backwards.

Edd: It's your final Mis-Edventure if you keep your current course.

Ed: We're making this the most brutality-filled song since "That's My Horse"!

Eddy: Even against our geriatric selves, you wouldn't last for long.

Eds: We'll tear you new anuses as redress for Yakko's planets song!

The Warners:

Yakko: It's time to turn the wheel and teach a lesson; moral number four:

Wakko: Just give up hope, and leave through any one of living's many doors.

Yakko: Your chance is nonexistent as your background cast; don't try to take us!

Dot: You're less likely to succeed than Brain and Pinky's global shakeups.

Wakko: Cursed Evil Tim has nothing on the terror we strike when summoned!

Dot: Even Mindy ain't as savvy when it comes to pushing Buttons.

Yakko: Mr. Mime Time's always back for more, but get this understood:

Warners: Just like our old pal Buddy, we'll put you clowns down and out for good.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!