"Come. I'll drop you" Zamil offered me lift but I refused and took steps further. But he moved his bike with Me.

"Shama why you have shift in another home? Yaar come back to same apartment you live with Richa, she is also alone" I looked towards him but even after gathering all courage that was difficult for me to answer that question. I prefer to ignore that question and moved towards bus stand, Zamil's bike was moving with me and his gaze as saying that he need answer.

"Shama I'm asking something"

This stubborn guy!

I wanted to smack my forehead on his stubbornness but couldn't as I was on road.

"I wanted to focus on studies so I shifted to another home" I replied and  he stopped his bike in front of me.

"You're not looking alright, come! I'll drop you to your home"

I don't know how did he understood my situation? I actually wasn't feeling well, I was feeling sick and walking was being difficult to me. So without debating further I mounted on his bike. "Stop the bike here" I said when we were few metered away from my home, I didn't want to let him know where was my home.

"Where is your home? Won't you offer a cup of tea?" He asked while stopping the bike on the empty side of the road.

"I'll surely invite you as well as Vihaan and Richa too, but not today. I have to take rest today" I made an excuse and took steps further after greeting him and soon gliding on his bike he was disappeared from my eyes.

Abbas was at home so I couldn't invite my friends, that's been some more than two months when I shifted in that apartment and since first day Richa was requesting me to come to my new place but somehow I was delaying to fulfil her demand.

I knocked the door and he open the door making my blood boil, I wanted to shout on him but stopped myself.

"Ajj jaldi aa gayi college to"

(You arrived early)

I nodded nodded without bothering to reply.

I was hell frustrated due to his stubborn villager nature. In two and a half months I had been working to groom his personality but he was stucked on the same point.

"Mene jo kapde diye the wo kyu nhi pehne?"

(Why aren't you wearing those clothes that I had given you?)

I asked and moved towards kitchen to cook lunch for both of us, but he smiled at me showing his teeth which were the second white shade on his dark face, first white thing was the white part of his eyes.

He was wearing a baggy pajama with a loose cotton vest which was so horrible! His pot belly was peeping out from the discoloured clothes and I wanted to hit my head on the nearest wall because I was tired of repeating a single thing in those months

What wrong was I doing? I just wanted to made his personality better so that I could introduce him with my friends without any hesitation ans embarrassing feeling in myself but he wasn't ready to change him a single bit.

"Tumhe koi farq nhi padta na... Main kuch bhi kehti rahu tumhe wo hi karna hai jo chahte ho!"

(You don't mind what ever I say...  No matter whatever I keep saying  you always do what you want to do!)

I said with disappointment and started looking for utensil to cook lunch, I was feeling angry and frustrated with his behaviour. I always told him to comb his hair properly but his hair always spread messily. He always had the same reason that he wasn't going anywhere so no need to wear good clothes and comb hair properly as if he groom himself so well before going out from home. I honestly feel scared to go out with him, because he need to learn proper way to walk, talk and even eating manners, but unfortunately he wasn't ready to change himself.

"Gussa na ho jhalli"

(Don't be angry, idiot)

Saying that he leave me in kitchen and I just smack my forehead while controlling my tears, Zamil was indirectly proposing me and I was trying to reveal the reality as soon as possible but Abbas wasn't helping me, I couldn't introduce him in that situation and grooming him was almost impossible.

I also wanted to go on walk with my husband just like Richa goes with Vihaan, but every praise their couple but if I would go with Abbas then everyone will make our fun.

I was controlling myself which was difficult for me. Somehow I controlled my anger and serve lunch for both us.

===============

He was snoring loudly and I was trying to study as next day was my exam, we didn't had air cooler in other room so I couldn't go there.

Looking towards him my heart  clenched with pain, and my eyes became wet after remembering how Vihaan was making his fun. And since afternoon I had one more tension which wasn't allowing me to focus on studies.

I'd missed my periods!

I didn't want to get pregnant

I didn't want my studies to suffer due to my unwanted pregnancy...

I wasn't enough mature to handle those things

I was only Nineteenth!

Even after studying for two hour I was done with only one topic. I knew I couldn't study more so I decided to sleep but that was even difficult because my brain was trying to gather every possible event which could take place and unfortunately everything was going towards a negative end.

===============

After Three Days.

I was trying to sleep but that was difficult for me as I was remembering yesterday, when I was laying on the Examination table and the middle aged doctors was checking me.

"Congratulations, you're pregnant" I closed my eyes after listening those words which I didn't want to listen, I felt my world was stopped at that point. I didn't want to get pregnant at that stage of my life, I wanted to study further and become something. I couldn't afford to lose everything after coming so close to my dreams.

"Doctor are you sure? I mean..." I didn't had words to explain what I wanted to ask but doctor narrowed her eyes with a smile and nodded

"Of course, I'm sure" she replied and I somehow held my tears which were ready to flow out from my eyes.

"It's starting of second month, you should take rest and healthy diet is must impo...." Doctor was continously babbling while checking me and I was trying to stop my tears, but I don't let the doctor complete what she was saying.

"Doctor I want to abort this child" I said in hushed tone and she looked up suddenly.

I turned my side and found him snoring.

Again in the most horrible way!

Covering my ears with pillow I close my eyes and soon I was consumed by slumber. But my slumber was short lived as a sharp pain covered my lower back and abdominal region.

"Aaa..." clenching the sheet in my fists I pressed my lips together to stop myself to scream loudly due to pain.

That was the effect of abortion pills which I had consumed few hours ago!

I was breathing heavily, and tears weren't stopping to flow from my eyes. The cramps were so powerful that I was literally dying due to them. My throat was cracked due to thrust and somehow I managed to pick the steel glass placed on the side table bit due to severity of that pain my hands were shivering which the glass slip from my hand and the loud thud made him awake. I didn't want to wake him up because I did not wanted to reveal about my abortion in front of him.

"Ki hiya Shama?"

(What happened Shama?)

He asked but I wasn't in condition of saying anything but he repeated the question and this time I cried out while resting my head with headboard.

"Cramps" I muttered while pressing my belly and he shift towards me.

"Chal dactar de kool chalde hain"

(Let's go to doctor)

He said while trying to help me for standing up but I couldn't afford to visit doctor with him as it could reveal The Secret which I was hiding from him.

"Theek ho jayega abhi... Doctor ki koi zarurat nahi hai"

( no need to visit doctor and it will be completely fine after some time)

I cried while clenching the pillow with my hands just to near the pain and he embraced me.

"Chup ho ja... Dard zyada hai ta dactar nu ghr bula lu?"

(Dont cry, if it's very painful then should I call doctor at home?)

He asked but I shook my head and rest my head on his chest, I was feeling like I was going to die soon and my body was feeling so weak.

" Shama... Tu theek ta hai na?"

(Shama are you fine?)

He asked and I nodded while crying, my legs were becoming lifeless and eyes started getting heavy, soon I was consumed by slumber and he keep caressing my back while I was resting my head as well as both hands on his chest.

That was the worst pain which I'd faced in nineteen years of my life.

That was horrible!

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