Chapter Seven | Denial Is A River, You Want Your Baby Momma

I'm sitting here with Sefa and Jacob, the three of us nestled into a cozy corner of the house, when Jacob's phone buzzes with a familiar FaceTime call from Reeva.

I can't help but smirk at the sight of Jacob's face.

"Pumpkin, you miss me already?" Jacob quips, his playful tone evident.

"Stop calling me pumpkin," Reeva retorts, a mock annoyance dancing on her lips.

"Nah, that's my pet name for you, especially after seeing how feral you get at a pumpkin patch," Jacob shoots back.

"It's the aesthetic," she replies, her voice laced with playful indignation.

"Sure, but why are you calling me when you're supposed to be partying?" Jacob asks, and I lean in closer, eager to hear what she'll say.

"Because everyone is booed up but me," Reeva answers, her tone a mix of playful frustration and genuine disappointment.

"Who's booed up? Tookie got a boo?" I can't help but interject, curiosity getting the best of me.

Jacob shakes his head, his expression knowing. "I mean, she got a friend," Reeva offers, clearly not wanting to spill the beans.

"That's crazy. She better not have him around my kids," I shoot back, half-joking but also serious.

Reeva laughs, and I can hear the amusement in her voice. "See, now you finna get my home girl in trouble," Jacob warns, smirking at Reeva.

"That's not my fault. So, tell me why Kayla and Zilla are acting like they've been married for forty years. They're over here dancing like they're from the seventies," Reeva comments, and I can picture them, lost in their world amidst the party chaos.

"Now when Kayla pops you, don't come crying to me," Jacob replies with a chuckle, and I can't help but laugh along with him.

"I mean, I have to rethink this relationship if you're gonna let me get popped by Kayla," she quips, feigning a dramatic tone.

"Reeva, you can't fight?" Sefa asks, peeking into the frame.

"Sir, my father is CM Punk. If you think I can't tussle, then you are sadly mistaken. That man dragged me to fight my bully when I was fourteen and told me that I couldn't get in his car if I didn't beat the girl up. I went to work that day on that girl. She still don't look my way till this day," Reeva explains, her pride evident.

Everyone bursts into laughter. "Oh, you got down like that?" Jacob asks, clearly impressed.

"I'm from Chiraq; I gets down, I don't play," Reeva adds, and the confidence in her voice is infectious.

Suddenly, Tookie appears behind her, laughing loudly. "What are you talking about? You be quick to want to pepper spray someone," she interjects, her tone teasing.

"Oh, you're trigger happy," Jacob says, leaning back with an amused expression.

"Real trigger happy, that's why Phil banned her from getting her gun license," Tookie replies with a grin.

"He banned you too," Reeva counters, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

"I got unbanned last year, boo, for your information," Tookie responds, clearly pleased with herself.

"That's not fair," Reeva whines, half-joking.

"Are you really upset about this?" Tookie asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Hell yeah," Reeva replies, and I can hear the playful edge in her voice.

"So, who's really the fighter?" Jacob asks, redirecting the conversation.

"Kayla," Reeva and Tookie answer in unison, laughter spilling out.

"And Roland, that's why we keep them apart during conflict because they'll escalate it quick, quick as fuck," Reeva explains, and I can see the truth in her words.

"And y'all let her date Zilla," I add, a smirk on my face.

"I don't think Zilla crashes out like Kayla does," Tookie insists, her tone serious.

"What about your friend?" I ask, knowing I'm about to stir the pot.

Tookie raises an eyebrow, confusion etched across her face. "What friend?" she replies, her tone defensive.

Reeva starts laughing, clearly enjoying the moment. "Your friend, Tookie, you know who I'm talking about," I say.

Tookie looks caught off guard, her expression morphing into one of uncertainty. "Why is he so upset about a friend? See, this is what I was talking about. Ain't no man—" Tookie starts, but Reeva cuts her off.

"Moving on," Reeva says quickly, clearly wanting to divert the topic. "Whew, hormones, let's go back to this party. Bye!" Reeva ends the call abruptly, and I can't help but chuckle.

Jacob looks over at me, a curious glint in his eye. "Is it a thing with 85ers that y'all got feelings for your baby mommas? Why are you upset about a friend that you don't even know if they're a man or woman?"

I shrug, the weight of his question settling in. "Hey, she's got six of my kids and is pregnant with another one. I'm just protective of her, that's all," I respond, feeling defensive but also knowing he's right to question it.

Sefa rolls his eyes, clearly not buying it. "You don't act like that with your first baby momma," he points out.

"'Cause Jen... whatever," I mutter, the frustration creeping back in. It's a complicated situation, and I'm not ready to unpack all of that here.

"Yeah, yeah. I wonder how Trinity feels about that, or y'all looking a third?" Jacob prods, his expression teasing.

I shrug again, not wanting to get into it. "I ain't talking about that with y'all," I reply, my tone more serious now.

"Denial is a river," Sefa chimes in, a grin spreading across his face. "You want your baby momma as a third."

His words hang in the air, and I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. But there's truth in what Sefa says, and it hits me hard. The thought that I might be avoiding my feelings, pretending everything is fine when it's not, is unsettling.

I glance over at Sefa, who's enjoying this moment of realization for me. He knows me well enough to read between the lines. I take a breath, trying to gather my thoughts.

"Look," I start, my voice steadying, "it's not about wanting Tookie or anything like that. It's just... I'm trying to be a good dad. I want to protect my kids. It's complicated."

Jacob leans back, folding his arms. "Complicated, huh? That's one way to put it," he says, his tone light but knowing.

"Yeah, well, you don't understand," I retort, a little too defensive.

Sefa shakes his head. "I see how you act, man. It's like you're caught in this cycle of worry and trying to be the 'good guy' when you're just keeping yourself in the dark."

I want to argue, to defend my actions, but deep down, I know he's got a point. I've built up walls around my feelings, convincing myself that everything is okay when it's not.

"Okay, maybe I'm a little protective," I admit, my voice softer. "But it's hard not to be when you see the kind of situations out there. I just want what's best for my kids."

Jacob nods, his expression shifting to one of understanding. "We get that, man. But you have to face whatever's bothering you too. Otherwise, it'll just keep eating away at you."

I lean back in my chair, contemplating his words. He's right. I can't keep pretending that everything is fine. There's a reason I keep bringing up Tookie's friend and my protective instincts. I can't deny that I care about her, about the dynamics of our lives intertwined with our children.

"Maybe I need to talk to her," I say slowly, as if testing the idea. "Clear the air about everything."

"Good idea," Sefa says, a supportive smile on his face. "Just remember, communication is key."

As the night progresses around us, I find myself more aware of my feelings. The laughter and the shared moments are a stark contrast to the confusion I've been harboring. I glance over at Sefa and Jacob, who seem content to let me have my moment.

"You good, man?" Jacob asks, his voice softer now.

"Yeah, I think so," I reply, the weight of his question lingering. "Just trying to figure things out, you know?"

Sefa leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Listen, it's natural to feel protective, especially with everything going on. But you have to balance that with being open about how you feel. You can't just carry that weight alone."

"Right," I say, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "It's just easier to avoid it sometimes."

"Denial is a river, but it doesn't have to be your only path," Jacob adds, a smirk playing on his lips as he recalls our earlier conversation. "You can choose to swim to the shore."

I nod slowly, contemplating what that might look like. It's a daunting thought, but deep down, I know it's necessary. If I'm going to be a good father and a supportive co-parent, I need to confront my feelings instead of burying them.

"Hey, do you think I should just call her?" I ask my friends suddenly. "I mean, I could just clear the air now instead of letting this linger."

Jacob glances at Sefa, who shrugs. "Why not? It's better than letting it fester. And besides, she might appreciate that you're being protective."

With that encouragement, I pull out my phone. My heart races as I find Tookie's contact and tap the screen. As the call rings, I feel a mix of nerves and anticipation. What am I going to say? How will she react?

"Come on, Tookie," I mutter under my breath, willing her to pick up.

Finally, she answers, her face lighting up the screen. "Hey, Jonathan!" Her voice is cheerful, but I can see the hint of curiosity in her eyes.

"Hey, I didn't want to interrupt your party, but I thought it was better to just talk now," I say, trying to keep my tone casual.

"Everything okay?" she asks, her expression shifting to concern.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to chat about... well, about the whole friend situation," I replied, bracing myself for her reaction.

"Oh, that," she says, a hint of laughter in her voice. "Reeva didn't mean to cause any drama. It was just a joke."

"I get that, but it did make me think. I just want to make sure we're on the same page," I admit, the weight of my words hanging in the air.

"Jonathan, I promise you, there's nothing to worry about," she reassures me, her voice softening. "Reeva just likes to have fun. It's all harmless."

"Yeah, I know that, but I guess I just get a little protective," I say, the truth pouring out. "It's hard for me to separate my feelings when I think about the kids and everything."

Tookie nods, her expression understanding. "I appreciate that. But you don't have to feel like you need to guard me. I can take care of myself."

I nod, feeling the tension in my chest start to ease. "I know, I just... sometimes I get caught up in my head."

"It's okay to feel that way. We both have our histories, and it's natural to worry," she replies. "But we can talk about things, you know? That's what co-parenting is all about."

Her words resonate with me, and I can feel the warmth of relief spreading through me. "You're right. I want to be better at communicating, not just with you but in general."

"Good," she says, her smile brightening the screen. "We can work through things together. And besides, it helps to have people around who care."

"Exactly," I reply, feeling a sense of clarity.

As we continue talking, the conversation flows naturally. I start to feel lighter like a weight has been lifted. The more we talk, the clearer it becomes that our connection, while complicated, is rooted in mutual respect and care for our kids.

"Okay, now that that's settled, what are you planning for the rest of the night?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"I think we're going to dance until the sun comes up," she says with a playful grin. "And probably cause some mischief along the way."

"Just don't get too crazy, or I'll have to come and intervene," I tease, and she laughs.

"Challenge accepted!" she replies, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

As we end the call, I set my phone down and glance at Sefa and Jacob, who are both grinning at me.