Chapter Eleven | The State of Being a Mother

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tookie the state of being a mother.
#pregnant #triplets #outnumbered
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I can't believe I'm typing these words. It feels like a dream, but it's real, and it's happening. It's crazy to think about how life has a way of throwing curveballs, and sometimes, it feels like they hit you right where you need to be hit as if the universe knows exactly when and where to surprise you.

And surprise me, it did. I found out I was pregnant. Not just with one, not even with two, but with three. Yep. I'm having triplets.

I announced it on Instagram yesterday. The caption was simple: the state of being a mother. #pregnant #triplets #outnumbered. Three words, but they carried so much weight. They carried everything. I hit post, and as soon as I did, I could feel the flood of excitement coming my way.

The comments started pouring in: friends, family, and some famous faces congratulating me and sending their love. And I'm just sitting there, still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that we're going from being a family of what feels like a good size, to a really good size.

The outpouring of love was overwhelming in the best possible way. But it also made me think about how much my life is about to change. Three babies—three lives that I get to bring into this world. And it's not just any world—it's our world, this weird and wonderful little world we've created together.

Speaking of our world, let me tell you about the compound we're building. Yes, I said compound. You may have heard of it before, you may have seen it on the news, or maybe you haven't.

But I'm about to break it down for you. Jonathan, Trinity, and I were sitting around talking about the new place we just got, and I could see it in their eyes—they were both trying to figure out if I was serious.

This house is no joke. It's a 19,250-square-foot mansion. Thirteen bedrooms. Fifteen bathrooms. A home theater. Bars, because why wouldn't you have one? A game room, a gym, a playroom—because my kids deserve nothing less than the best. And don't forget the gourmet kitchen. Oh, and there's an outdoor projection screen too, because, well, I like the idea of movie nights under the stars with my family and friends.

"Are you sure you want to live on a compound?" Jonathan asked me that day, raising his eyebrows as if I might change my mind.

I laughed. "Yes, I'm sure. Look, when you guys are on the road doing your thing, I need help. And besides, I think it's kind of cool that the kids will grow up surrounded by their cousins."

Trinity nodded, looking at me like she couldn't believe it. "I can't believe you all brought a compound. Like, you guys are really family."

I smiled. Because in this moment, I felt like we were building something more than just a house. We were building a life together. "Believe me," I said, "I know Phil can be an ass sometimes, but once he lets you in, you're stuck with him forever. And I'm okay with that."

Jonathan chuckled, nodding in agreement. "We see that."

The conversation shifted slightly, and we started talking about the finances of the place. "But you don't have to feel forced to put in for the house," I told them. "I can pay for it all on my own."

Trinity raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "Absolutely not. That's our home too. We're all in this together."

Jonathan agreed. "We'll help pay for it. You're not doing this alone."

I couldn't help but smile at how seriously they took it, how invested they were in not just the house, but in the life we were building. "I feel like I could convince you two to do anything, and you would," I teased.

Jonathan pulled a silly face. Trinity scoffed. "So not true," they said in unison.

Later that day, I found myself sitting in my office with Trinity, sorting through wigs for my maternity photoshoot. Trinity's the one who's been creating the vision for this shoot, and let me tell you, the woman knows what she's doing. She's the creative genius, and I trust her completely. We were trying to figure out which wig I wanted to wear for the shoot—because, yes, I want it to be fun. This is my last pregnancy, so I'm going all out.

"I want my maternity photos to be bright and colorful," I told her, admiring the four wigs in front of me. They were bold, neon, and vibrant—just like how I feel about this whole experience. Motherhood, for me, is all about growth, change, and embracing the chaos.

The theme of the photoshoot was "The Glow of Motherhood," and I think that's exactly how I feel—radiant, glowing, and a little bit on fire with excitement for what's to come.

"I like all the wigs you made, Trin," I said, resting my head on her shoulder, loving how her energy matched my own.

Trinity smiled. "I think I'll wear them all," I added, glancing over at the different colors and styles laid out before me.

"And what about the outfits?" Trinity asked, her voice playful.

"All of them," I said, laughing. "Why not? This is my last time doing this. We're going out with a bang."

Just then, Jonathan walked into my office, interrupting our wig-fest. "Come on," he said, grinning. "I made dinner."

We got up from the desk and followed him out of the office and into the kitchen, where the kids were already seated at the table. Jayla, Jaidan, Jora, Joudree, Jett, Jersey, Jace, and Jeter—our beautiful, wild bunch. They were talking, laughing, making a mess, as kids do. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

The conversation shifted back to the maternity photoshoot, with the kids asking if they could be a part of it. Of course, I said yes. I want them all in it, the whole crew. We're doing this big, celebrating our family, our growth, and the changes that are coming.

"This is my last pregnancy," I told everyone. "So we're going out big."

And as I said it, I realized that it wasn't just the pregnancy that felt like a big deal. It was the whole journey—the life I'm building with Jonathan, Trinity, and all the people who love me.

This pregnancy, these triplets, this crazy compound we're creating... it all means something more than just material things. It's about the future we're shaping, the memories we're going to make, and the love we'll continue to share.

Motherhood isn't just a stage of life; it's a state of being. And right now, in this moment, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. Outnumbered, sure. But surrounded by love, laughter, and the people who will always have my back. And that's what truly matters.

tookie ✓ 1h

Jonathan and I had just left his mother, Talisua's house, and were driving back toward our place when we spotted it—a tiny boutique, practically glowing with charm.

It wasn't anything too flashy, but something about the quaint storefront caught my eye. As we passed by, I could feel this magnetic pull, an almost irresistible urge to stop.

"Let's check it out," I said, turning to Jonathan with a grin.

"Now? You know we're already late for dinner," he said, but I could tell by the way he smiled that he wasn't serious. Jonathan always indulged me when I had a shopping whim, even if he acted like he didn't.

The boutique was small but filled with a curated selection of luxury baby clothes that were just too adorable to pass up. As soon as we stepped inside, I was met with the softest fabrics, the brightest colors, and the most delicate designs.

The store had a mix of everything—bursts of pink and blue, rich golds, and earth tones—all intertwined with plush toys and stylish little accessories that screamed sophistication, even in the world of baby fashion.

I couldn't help myself. "Oh my gosh, look at this!" I gasped, my voice rising in sheer delight as Jonathan held up a tiny tan trench coat, the kind that I'd definitely wear if it came in my size. It was so cute, it almost didn't seem real. The fabric was soft, yet durable, and it had this classy, timeless look. "How perfect would this be for the babies?" I asked, already picturing my future little ones dressed in high fashion.

Jonathan chuckled, knowing how easily I got carried away. "If you get that, I'm going to need a whole new wardrobe to match their level of style," he teased, but he didn't put the coat back. Instead, he placed it gently in our growing pile of baby clothes, where it would soon be joined by other items I couldn't resist.

I walked deeper into the store, scanning the racks and shelves, my excitement building with every new find. Baby clothes had never been my thing—until now. But these? These weren't your ordinary onesies and little socks. These were little works of art. I ran my hand along the smooth fabric of a cotton and cashmere onesie adorned with Fendi's signature double F motif. It was understated, yet so chic. I had to have it.

But it wasn't just Fendi that caught my eye. The boutique had pieces from some of my favorite designers—Burberry, Comme des Garçons, Balmain, Stella McCartney, Givenchy. I couldn't even begin to imagine dressing my kids in this level of luxury. There were items ranging from a simple $14 white short-sleeve onesie to a breathtaking $3,000 Couture Kids gift basket, complete with a designer teddy bear.

It was the kind of boutique that made you feel like you were stepping into a whole new world, one where every detail mattered.

I was so lost in the sea of adorable, high-end baby clothes that I didn't notice a fan approaching until I heard a shout.

"Tookie! You are such a beautiful pregnant woman!" the voice rang out. I turned around, half-surprised to see someone recognizing me in a boutique that was clearly more suited to the ultra-wealthy than to any average shopper.

I smiled warmly and instinctively placed my hand on my belly. "Thank you!" I called back, genuinely appreciative of the compliment.

The last few months had been tough with all the changes happening in my body, so hearing something kind, especially from a stranger, always felt like a small win.

As I continued browsing, Jonathan was quietly following me, carrying every item I picked up, like a personal assistant. At this point, I had three different pieces in my hands—a baby bomber jacket, a plush blanket, and the trench coat. I turned to Jonathan to add something else to the pile, and he gave me a look that was equal parts amused and resigned.

"Do you plan on buying the entire store?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, it's not every day I find clothes for my little ones that are this cute," I said, trying to justify my latest shopping spree. He didn't say anything more but just kept gathering the items like they were the most normal thing in the world. Jonathan seems to be supportive of my shopping habits.

Eventually, we made our way to the counter, where I could tell Jonathan had already made up his mind. "I'm paying for everything," he said before I could reach for my wallet.

"Jonathan, really, you don't have to," I protested, but he just smiled.

"I want to," he said simply. "Consider it my gift to the babies."

I couldn't argue with that logic, so I let him handle it. While he was at the counter paying, I couldn't resist the urge to snap a quick selfie. I pulled out my phone and took a mirror selfie with Jonathan standing in the background, his arms full of baby clothes.

I had to laugh when I looked at the picture. It was so cliché but also so sweet. There he was, looking every bit the doting father.

The moment felt surreal. I was here, surrounded by luxury baby clothes, the love of my life standing by me, and the world still completely unaware of what was coming. The future felt so full of promise, and it made me feel light, even with all the weight of carrying three babies.

After we paid, we walked out of the boutique, my bags in hand, our arms brushing occasionally as we strolled through the sidewalk. But as we reached the curb and were about to get into the car, I heard the unmistakable sound of camera shutters.

Before I knew it, we were surrounded by paparazzi. They popped out of nowhere, shouting questions at me, trying to get a glimpse of my growing belly and catch some candid shots of our day.

"Are you really pregnant with triplets?" one shouted.

"When's your due date?" another asked.

"Any names picked out yet?"

The usual barrage of questions, the usual rush to catch me off-guard. But this time, it felt different. Jonathan immediately stepped in front of me, his protective instincts kicking in as he shielded me from the flashing cameras.

He held his arm around me as we briskly walked to the car. It wasn't the first time I'd had to deal with the paparazzi, but it was still uncomfortable, especially now that I was carrying triplets.

"Do you always deal with this?" Jonathan asked, his voice low and serious as we slid into the car. His jaw was tight, his concern written all over his face.

I sighed, settling into my seat. "Not all the time. But when they're money hungry for a picture, they become intense. It's like they forget we're people, not just their next story."

Jonathan shook his head. "Definitely stepping up your security," he muttered, starting the engine and pulling away from the curb. He glanced at me, his protective nature never more apparent. "You don't need this kind of stress right now."

I smiled at him, grateful for how seriously he took it, for how much he cared. "I'll be fine. It just comes with the territory," I said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "But thanks for being my knight in shining armor."

Jonathan gave me a quick grin, his focus still on the road. "Always."

As we drove off, I couldn't help but think how lucky I was. Lucky to have Jonathan by my side, lucky to be on this journey, and lucky to have the chance to share every moment—good, bad, or paparazzi-filled—with the people who truly mattered.