Dedicated to: ayoaddy

Thanks for your interesting comment! I enjoyed reading it. :)

                        *           *           *

             September 12th
      Agent R. Harris reveals a previously hidden incident to Agent A. Peterson involving Agent K. Masters.

            18: Into the Past
            Date: September 12th

“So what happened between you and Kyle?” Alex asks. I close his laptop and disconnect all of the chords, silently avoiding his gaze.

      “What do you mean?” I reply as he takes the laptop from me. His gaze burns a hole into my head as my body turns away from him. I search the room for something else to focus on, something to keep me occupied. My eyes settle on the table that we pushed aside to fit our equipment inside the room.

      I walk over to it, my back facing Alex.

      Even without looking it’s easy to tell that he’s still looking at me. Watching for my reaction to his words. Carefully assessing my movements the way an agent expertly does.

      “Something happened between you two,” he states. “I want to know what.”

      A slight scowl crosses my face as I slide the table across the floor but no response comes from my mouth. My gaze is set on the table in front of me as I start to move it on my own, but soon another set of arms is helping me move the table.

      “Rachel,” Alex insists.

      I sigh and stand up straight, facing him. “What? I don’t really want to talk about it.”

      “Is that right?”

      “Yes.”

      Alex narrows his eyes at me from across the table. I fidget under his gaze, and then I’m annoyed with myself for doing it. Why can I sit still for everyone else except Alex?

      “I don’t believe you,” he says.

      I give him an irritated look. “That’s not my problem.”

      We lock eyes. I start to wonder what happened to the boy I thought was an amateur just a few days ago. The boy that was all smiles and laughter. Where is his smile now? And why is he pushing me so hard to reveal things about myself that I don’t want to think about?

      “You haven’t told anyone else, have you?” he asks.

      I blink at him, pulling out of my thoughts. “What are you talking about?”

      “The secret that you’re trying so hard to hide,” he explains. “You haven’t told people. Have you?”

      Fear settles in my stomach. Alex is no amateur; not if he’s able to figure this much out about me while my own family has been clueless. But the thought of unloading myself all onto one person scares me. Especially since this person is an agent.

      Alex continues as I look away. “I bet Kyle knows. And I bet if I ask him, he’ll tell me.”

      “No,” I snap. He raises an eyebrow at me.“Look, it’s not important. A couple of years ago something happened and Kyle was involved and . . . it was a long time ago. Can’t you just forget about it?”

      “Actually no, I can’t,” Alex says. “Because clearly you can’t. I mean I’m not a therapist, but if I were I’d say whatever happened to you is the reason you’re so . . . detached.”

      I know it’s not an insult but for some reason his words hurt. When I swallow, a salty taste enters my mouth. “You’re right. You’re not a therapist.”

      “You need to talk to someone.”

      I glower at him. “What, like you?”

      Alex shakes his head and takes a step around the table, closer to me. Annoyed, I let my gaze dart to his foot, which is positioned to move even closer to me, and glare at it until he moves it back. “Doesn’t have to be me. It could be anyone. As long as it’s someone.”

      I stare at him. “I don’t understand why you care so much about this.”

      “It takes away from your work,” he says. Then he stares directly into my eyes. “I know. I’ve been where you are now. Trust me when I say you don't want it to impact your work.”

      I take in his words carefully, considering them. I knew I saw something in his smile. There’s something about Alex that tells me he’s been through a lot, even when he’s laughing and joking. He has a serious side of himself that he only seems to show when talking about me.

      And that's when I realize how much he's already figured out about me, and how little I actually know about him. A part of me hates that really, and I think it's the spy part of me, because that side of me is curious and attentive and I don't know as much about him as I should.

       But the other part of me is caught up in looking at Alex, and then I just don't care about whatever I was trying to hide before.

      Alex takes tentative steps towards me. “Rachel?”

      “When I was first recruited into Special Operations I was a complete outcast,” I say.

      The words come out shakily, but I can’t stop speaking once I’ve started. “But I already knew no one was going to like me. I was a new recruit that happened to be the daughter and sister of their leaders. People picked on me when my mom and Aaron weren’t around. I let it go on for a while; didn’t see the need to stoop to their level.

      “And then one day I got fed up and I snapped back at one of the people teasing me. And I didn’t know who it was until I turned and saw that it was one of Kyle’s friends. He was a higher level than Kyle, but Kyle basically followed him around everywhere he went. So he was there when it happened.”

      I swallow again. This time I have to force myself to continue.

      “They showed up to my room later that day, when I was asleep. They came with weapons. At the time I wasn't skilled enough to fight back. I was just a powerless recruit that they knew they could defeat, and I was vulnerable, and they decided that I deserved to be punished.

      "The next day I had bruises everywhere, except for my face. It was dark, so I wasn’t sure who’d done it at first. But eventually I figured it out. One of them said something to me, a stupid move, since I remembered their voice afterwards. But the fact that I knew who they were didn’t really change anything; I never told anyone.”

      I stop speaking, unsure of what to say next. Silence falls upon us. I don’t look up to read his face; instead I continue staring at the ground, and we stay like that for a moment.

      Then Alex says, “And you didn’t do anything about it?” His voice sounds strained, as if he’s holding an emotion back from his words.

      I scoff. “I was weak then, yes. But an idiot, no.” Finally I look up at his face. “I hadn’t been through the physical training long enough to actually fight them. So I found another way. Little by little I started taking notes of how the Special Operations interface worked.”

      Now a small amount of pride rushes into me as I continue on.

      “I hacked the system. I had both Kyle and his friend dropped two levels so that they had to retake the courses they’d already passed, without question. And then over time I just learned to make myself stronger. I guess I unintentionally made myself harder in the process. ”

      We lapse into another silence, and Alex comes to sit next to me. I feel the couch dip underneath me. When I look over to him I see that he looks at me with that same intensity in his eyes. His opinion of me hasn’t changed, then.

      But what exactly is his opinion of me?

      “That’s impressive,” he says eventually. “You hacked the system before you even completed your first year of training.”

      A small smile plays at the edges of my lips. “I guess I’m not completely useless, then.”

      Alex grins, and my heart quickens at the sight. It fits nicely on his face. “Guess not,” he says.

      A feeling of relief settles my nerves. I am glad the conversation has become lighter. I feel my muscles relax as we sit looking at each other. And then my gaze finds the window, and I notice that it’s light out now.

      “Well,” I say, breaking through the moment. “School will be starting soon. I should probably get going.” I stand from the couch and head towards the door.

      “Right,” Alex says behind me. I let out an unsteady breath as my hand pulls the door open.

      “Rachel,” he says softly, calling for my attention. I don’t turn to face him, but I pause to let him know I’m listening. “You’re okay, you know,” he tells me.

      I smile into the hallway as I step forward. “I know.”

                        *           *           *

Hey! So for those of you that have been wondering why Rachel has been so stiff, this is the reason. She became hard over her years of training. But it seems that Alex is helping her with that, huh?

Anyway, longest commenter gets a dedication! Thanks for reading.