No! Rue, come back...come back! I watch as the "me" on screen says bye to Rue. It's like watching myself from someone else's perspective. Chills run down my back as I realize maybe this really is someone else's perspective in the games, like Jacqueline's. Maybe she was watching us. I chide myself, saying it's all a dream. Yet I'm not able to wake up.

The dream shifts and suddenly I'm watching myself pick berries, unaware that Marvel is within killing distance. He throws his weapon and it spears Noah. He screams in pain. Only then do I realize what's happened and throw myself towards him, but it's too late.

Next I'm in the Quell, re-watching Mags walk to her death, re-watching Wiress' throat get slit by Gloss as the rest of us are watching Rory draw a map. All these deaths...they could have been prevented. Then maybe they could have been saved too...

I wake up shaking. It's almost like Snow sent these dreams, telling me that these people died because of me. That I could have saved them but I didn't. I pant as I stare at the dark ceiling. Katniss and Mother are asleep, so I don't bother them. Instead I sit up and think to myself until dawn.

Thankfully, I'm out of my wheel chair now. Rory still helps me most of the time though, since I can't walk as well as I used to. Him, Finnick and I have kept mum about what we've seen. No one else brings the matter up either. But it couldn't have just been us that saw it. Someone else must have seen Gale and Johanna.

In the afternoon, Rory is called in to work with Beetee to train with weapons. Being the boy he is, he's excited about it. I'm happy for him. He chose a crossbow as his weapon in tribute to Gale, which I thought was sweet of him.

Not being with Rory, I decided to go out to the woods with Finnick. He's excited to go out with me and I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm. We get out there and walk a bit before hiding our communicators under a bush. It reminds me of stuffing mics in a couch with Haymitch, back in District 11, during our Victory Tour.

"No one talks about the propo," Finnick says, staring into the sky with his sea-green eyes.

"Yeah, not even Katniss," I tell him. "But then...I haven't seen her in a while, ever since Peeta came back from his secret mission."

"Mission? I wasn't told about a mission."

"Um...yeah. I don't think I'm supposed to know but Katniss told me. He and some others were scouting routes into the Capitol. They say they've got it down but it will take a while to rescue...you know who."

Silence takes over and we both shift our gazes once more to the sky.

Katniss takes me to Compartment E after dinner.

"Katniss, what's happening?" I ask in attempt to get her to talk about the propo. But she doesn't tell me anything about Gale nor Johanna. Which makes me think, maybe the appearance wasn't as important as I thought. After all, it could just be another ordinary Capitol propo. But if it's not important, why won't anyone tell me about it?

Night falls and I can't sleep, afraid that the nightmares will start all over again. Instead I hold onto the pearl from the games, the one Rory gave to me. At least he is safe. Something tells me that in an alternate turn of events he would still be stuck at the Capitol, being tortured alongside his brother. It just seems something Snow would do.

In the morning I get my schedule on my arm. I have Production after breakfast. I sigh but head over to the cafeteria and drain my meal; hot grain; mushy beets; a cold glass of milk. Soon enough Rory joins me, a smile plastered across his face. Oh and that small thing about a communicuff plastered across his wrist. I congratulate him for it but in the deepest corner of my heart, wish that I was offered one too. Rory seems to sense my disappointed because he tells me, "Cheer up, they probably thought you're too special for an ordinary communicuff!"

Katniss comes to breakfast and I realize just how upset I am that she didn't mention the propo. Seeing my uneasiness, Katniss starts talking before I can.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Huh? Angry, I reply, "Why didn't you say anything? I asked, didn't I?"

"I-I'm sorry...I really am! It's just that they told me not to mention it, or you'd be hurt."

I know her apology is genuine but it doesn't help one bit. I'm sick of being protected by others. I'm not just a little girl anymore.

"So there's a they now," I say bitterly, "You're working with them."

Katniss seems agitated by what I say, but doesn't say anything if she is. Inside my head, a subvocal rant rages on.

[Lie to [Prim] about the rebellion so she doesn't so anything crazy. Send her into the arena without a clue so we can fish her out. Don't tell her about [Gale and Johanna's] propo because it might make her sick, and it's hard enough to get a decent performance out of her as it is.] (page 118 lines 11 through 15)

After the argument with Katniss, I almost don't feel like going to Production. But I go anyways. The team preps me up at Remake, as they do to Rory as well.

"We're going to District 12 today," Cressida informs us. I hope the visit cheers me up.

When Boggs sees me, he doesn't bring up my disobedience in 8 but greets me. I'm thankful for that. He really is a good guy.

Just before we leave, Rory tells us he needs to tell his mom that we're leaving. I realize that I should tell Mother too about our departure, and go find her. She's worried at first but I assure her that we're going to be safe.

So then the whole team gets on the hovercraft. I seat myself at a table with Plutarch, Katniss, Rory, Cressida, and none other than...Peeta! We all look at a map of the effects of the propos. We are informed by Plutarch that the rebels have rallied, and that 3 and 11 are with us, the latter important because they provide food. For me it's more of a sad reminder of Noah and Rue, since those were their home districts. At least their deaths will be avenged.

Katniss doesn't spill to the others that I saw the propos. I'm thankful for it, and sorry about being mad at her earlier. And so I apologize. I tell her how sorry I am and that I love her. I've never been very good at keeping grudges. Katniss forgives me. She hasn't been good at holding grudges either, at least when they're against me.

"Where's Haymitch?" I ask, suddenly realizing his absence as we settle down in the Meadow.

"Couldn't face it without his liquor," Plutarch says. Seems a Haymitch thing to do.

Katniss seems sad, and I bet it's because of her memories of Gale in this place. I give her a hug and so does Peeta. Hopefully she'll feel better. Maybe Peeta doesn't feel the best, about Katniss thinking about Gale, but we all want her to be happy.

We start out at Rory's house. There, he faces the camera and talks about Gale. I cheer him on, standing beside the camera crew so that I'm not on tape but he can still see me. We go through the rubble afterwards, and then we're off to my old house.

"Do whatever you want," Cressida tells me. So what do I do when I'm given the choice? Look at the sky, apparently.

After filming me, the team moves onto filming Katniss. She reenacts the firebombing, starting at our house then going out towards the Meadow and finally to the lake. For a second I feel violated because it was a special place for Katniss. But then I realize our peaceful place has been ruined, corrupted by the Capitol.

Everyone is drenched with sweat by the time we're at the lake. Especially Castor and Pollux. They look steaming hot in their shells. Pollux reminds me of Lavinia, and I find myself hoping that she's okay. I shake my head to clear the thought of the avox girl and dip my hands into the lake and bring them to my mouth, gulping down the cool water. It brings me back to almost two years ago during the games when Rue and I drank from the streams.

After that, Rory and I head down to the cement house. We're silent but I can tell we're both thinking about what happened last here. We fought. The last time I was here, was with Katniss. And that was when we saw Bonnie and Twill. I guess they never made it to District 13.

Cheese sandwiches are passed around and everyone starts eating. They look satisfied, happy about their work. I sit at the far end next to Pollux, mostly because I don't want to talk. Turns out no one really has to though. Everyone is silent and soon there are mockingjays around us, chirping short melodies. I whistle some notes and they follow me. I nudge Pollux and suggest he do the same. He does. And for the first time in a while, I'm guessing, Pollux "converses". The mockingjays reply back to him. He seems real happy and I can't help but smile too. Then he picks up a stick and writes 'SING' in the dirt. I hesitate before singing a song I've been forbidden to sing when I was just 3 years old. Father would sing with Katniss and I as we made necklaces of rope. I haven't sang <The Hanging Tree> In almost 10 years now...

Are you, are you

Coming to the tree

Where they strung up a man they saw murdered three.

Strange things did happen here

No stranger would it be

If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Katniss joins in from the second verse, and we sing together, like we had many years ago. Back when Father was still alive. Back when I was never reaped. Back when Panem was under control.

Are you, are you

Coming to the tree

Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.

Strange things did happen here

Strange things did happen here

No stranger would it be

If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you

Coming to the tree

Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free.

Strange things did happen here

No stranger would it be

If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you

Coming to the tree

Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.

Strange things did happen here

No stranger would it be

If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

I remember Mother got angry and Father told us not to sing the song anymore, to forget it. I was young but I remembered the tune. And of course, because he told us not to, the words remained imprinted in my brain.

I used to think the singer of the song, the murderer, was creepy. After seeing what I've seen, I decide not to judge him. There are far worse people in this world.

The mockingjays bounce Katniss and I's tune back and forth and I realize we're being filmed. I stand still until Cressida calls cut.

"Where in Panem did you learn that?! It was great!" Plutarch exclaims with a laugh.

"It wasn't for the cameras," I mumble.

"Good thing they were on then." He winks.

After the meal, Peeta requests we go to the bakery. It's all rubble but we film stuff for his sake. It's all he's got of his family.

"I'm going to go visit the Victor's Village to get some things for Mother," I say before breaking away from the group. Rory insists he comes too so I let him. Once we're there, I pack all of jars and plants in our medical cabinet. Mother would be pleased.

Rory sits on the table where he once laid, bloody and scarred.

"Remember you said "I'm not going anywhere, I just want to be with you" the last time we were here?"

I laugh. "You remember all that?"

He just gives me a signature Rory grin and shrugs.

Once all the filming is over and we're back in Thirteen, I drop off my Mockingjay suit and conk out. Katniss wakes me up in the morning. I eat breakfast, then go sleep in a supply closet, completely ignoring my schedule. When I come out next, it's time for dinner. I head for Compartment E when Boggs stops me.

"Come to Command next, ignore your schedule," he informs me. "Did you follow it at all?"

I shrug. "I'm a patient, right?" I lift my wrist to show him my medical bracelet then realize they took it away along with my wheelchair. "And...I forgot they took it back. So um anyways, why Command?"

"They'll probably air the Twelve propos...I'm not sure."

"That's the kind of schedule I need; a schedule of when the propos air," I say without thinking. Boggs ignores my comment.

When I get to Command, it's already mostly full but people saved a seat for me between Rory and Finnick.

"Aren't we watching the Twelve propos," I say, seeing that the screen is playing Capitol feed.

"We're not sure what kind of propo but Beetee found a way to break into the national feed, so that it plays in the Capitol too. There will be a live airing soon and Beetee will cut in then."

Soon enough, the Capitol seal and anthem are up. Then we get a shot of President Snow with his green eyes, filling up the screen until they zoom out to see Gale and Johanna. They're worse than the last time we saw them. Who knew that was possible.

Gale can't talk but he points frustratedly at a screen showing the rebel damage; the broken dam from 7; derailed train with toxic waste spilling out; granary collapsing due to fire. Then a picture of rebels comes up and he points angrily at it.

Suddenly, Rory is on the screen. He's at his old house with me as we search for remnants in the rubble.

"Yes, Beetee broke into the system! He did it!" Plutarch exclaims with excitement. Everyone is excited and cheering when Gale cuts back in. He is startled from seeing his brother and home but returns to "talking" about damage. Then a clip of Peeta at the bakery cuts in. Then before we know it, there's a broadcast battle going on.

The Capitol is not ready, but Beetee is. He comes in with 5-10 second clips that are short but powerful. Snow's broadcast is being peppered with our propos.

Everyone in Command cheers Beetee on, but Finnick, Rory and I look dejected. With every cheer, Gale and Johanna are slipping away from our reach.

On the screen, everything goes crazy. The world "turmoil" could not fully describe it.

"We'll be back once order is reinstalled," Snow tells Panem. Then off camera, "Cut...CUT!"

Beetee ends spectacularly with three second clips of me in front of the hospital. Between those, we see live action from the Capitol. The camera falls over and for a while we just see boots. Then there's the sound of a few blows, and a scream, Johanna, and a grunt, Gale. Somewhere in the mist of that Johanna screams something about everyone in Thirteen being dead by morning. Then blood splatters across the floor, and in Command, everyone falls silent.

End of Part 1, <The Ashes>

~A/N~ End of part one! Thanks so much for sticking around, hope you stay for parts 2 and 3! And now, a few things...

1. <The Hanging Tree> is copyrighted, all rights go to Suzanne Collins

2. Sorry for the delay I had to write an essay...and I have a test coming up...kinda messed up

3. I've been tagged to do the Tag of Thirteen and I'll be doing that soon. If you have any questions comment down below and I'll try my best to include it :)

4. And as said above, The Fiction Awards...plz help me out, it would mean the world to me!