I looked at the mirror in front of me with a frown. I knew that it has been half an hour when I took a shower but my hair still kept on sticking out from its place. I tried to get it wet but the trick didn't work and so I finally resort to my own saliva which I really do not recommend, but I have no choice but to do it.

I was about to lick my hand but suddenly, this cringy feeling erupted within my system. With not much care, I decided to go with the messy look and started to ruffle my hair which made some strands of my hair fell down on my forehead.

"Great. Now I got some fucking bangs." I hissed.

With one last flick from my wrist, I went out of my room and headed downstairs where the dining hall is located. When I was just in front of the door, I could hear voices of children and two unrecognizable voices then there was Alexander's. I held out a deep breath to myself and finally pushed open the door. The noise coming from the door was enough to get their attention.

Alexander looked at me with a knowing smile as I took myself to my own chair which is to Alexander's left. The woman beside him looked oddly familiar but I couldn't put a gits to it while the man to her right was unknown to me. The two children to the man's left was a girl and a boy. Judging by their physical attributes and appearances, I believe the girl was the youngest and the boy is the oldest. Both of the children had golden locks just like their mother but the eyes and face took from their father.

"Hello, good evening." I greeted which they returned with nods. "So, am I missing something here?"

"Lay." The man finally croaked out. His voice was filled with disbelief.

"Yes? I'm so sorry if I couldn't remember you. I guess you've heard what happened to me right?"

The man in front of me was speechless as he stared at me, with a smiling face, I tried to encourage him to talk but I was starting to get squesy on how he stares at me. I tried to ignore him and have a chat with the woman right next to him but finally, he decided to speak.

"Lay. You're back. I can't believe it! Its been years!" He chirped happily and immediately stood up from his chair and went around the table to give me a hug.

"You're back! You're back Lay! Oh, how I've missed you!" This man's arm enclosed me on a tight grip but not the hurtful one. His embrace was welcoming, almost like a brother to me. With a smile on my face, I returned his embrace.

'I may have lost my memories with the people I met but its never too late to create new ones that I think will last for a lifetime.'

The dinner went well. The woman with the golden locks was Alexander's sibling named Magnolia. She had also expressed the same feeling his husband had and I was so happy for myself that I had met such wonderful persons during my stay in this household when I was still young. Her husband, whose name was Mark, was my fellow worker in the house. He was also a butler whom I had considered as my brother which explained how he felt when he saw me again after how many years. They got married with the blessing from Alexander and finally had their own family. Maleiya Anna was the name of their daughter while Marcus Alex was the name of their son.

After the dinner, they still had so much things they wanted to tell me so I listened to them the whole night. Their children were brought to another room since they got tired of our talks which they can't relate much. When everyone seemed too tired to talk, Mark motioned me to have a private chat with him in the gardens.

"Can I borrow him for awhile Sir?" Mark asked Alexander who was now casually sipping his tea. He just gave a smile and waved off indicating that it was fine.

We went outside the door to the garden via the dining room. The air was cold but not enough to freeze us both to death. We both sat down under one of the trees as we looked at the stars at the night sky.

"Lay." Mark broke the comfortable silence that grew within us. I replied with a humm indicating that I acknowledge him starting a conversation with me. "Even if you don't remember your past or if ever you remember, I wanted to say that, I'm so sorry."

I looked at Mark who had a small smile as he stared still on the sky. I returned my gaze and decided to let him talk to me freely. "Even if I don't remember my past or if ever I remember it, tonight, I will let you pour the words out from your mouth. I wanted to hear you talk. Please Mark. Help me remember."

"Even if I wanted to tell you what really happened in the past, I couldn't. I know you still have those memories, its just that they got locked up somewhere in your brain due to the accident. All I want is, I want you to remember them by yourself but I also wanted you to never remember any of them." Mark's voice was solemn and sad that I can't help but to get drown in it.

"Lay, I wanted you to be happy. So bad, that I don't ever wanna let you remember your past. Call me selfish but I know your past is a part of you. I couldn't take it away from you since that's what made you strong. And I really admire you for that you know." He chuckled.

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Even if you don't remember it but I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry Lay. If it wasn't for me then you wouldn't be taken away that day. Alexander and you would have been together with your child but because I was so weak and scared, I didn't manage to protect you." His tears started to fall down like little raindrops from his eyes.

Mark held my hand like his life depended on it as he sobbed his heart out. I wasn't a rock and I was also a human too and upon seeing his pained state, I couldn't help but cry with him.

"Even until this day, those times still haunt me again and again. It felt like everything was my own mistake and by doing that, it all went down like this. I couldn't forgive myself." He cried as he punch his own chest, as if punishing himself. I pulled both of his hands and held it to me as I enclosed him into a tight embrace and whisper to him.

"Shhh... Mark. Listen to me. Whatever happened that day, I want you to forget about it. I want you to forgive yourself and if you don't, I won't forgive you if you don't do that to yourself. We've been through many things and I want you to start anew. You have your own family now and I want you to focused on them. You do not have to linger in the past where our hurtful memories lie. I want you to picture the life you have now with your family. Think about them and only them."

"Lay, I..."

"I forgive you, Mark. Even if those things were really bad, I forgive you. And I wanted to thank you for being with me and became a family when I didn't have one. Thank you for being a brother to me when I felt like I'm alone. And my old me really appreciates all the things that you have done Mark and I am grateful to have met someone like you."

When I looked at Mark, I could slowly see the hope that started to emerge in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile which he returned with so much longing and contentment.

"Thank you Lay. Thank you."

- -

Mark had bid his farewell to me since they had to go home first since the kids still had their school for tomorrow. I was sitting alone, still on the place where all the drama between me and Mark begun.

"I assume you and Mark cried a bucket of tears." Alexander emerged from behind. He sat down with me as we watch the sky above.

"I guess we did." I replied with a lopsided smile on my lips.

"So, he told you about what ha--"

"Please don't mention what was in the past. I want you all to forget about it and move on. I wanted to start a fresh, new start." I stated as I hugged my knees to myself.

"You know Lay, its easier said than done. When you get your memories back, what if, your mind changes and decided to not forgive us. What if one day you realised that it was wrong of you to give your forgiveness to us?" Alexander stated which made me think that he might be right.

If I remember my past and realized that everything was in disarray then I think my mind would change, of course. But right now, I want to leave it to my fate. I think, this is my chance to rewrite my destiny and change it for the better.

Alexander's hand held out in front of me. I looked up at him and saw him smiling down at me. "Come on, are you just gonna stare at me like that?"

"What is this anyway?" I asked in confusion.

"I want you to dance with me."

"Seriously Alexander? Right here? We don't even have any music and I believed you're not a great dancer." I muttered as I stood up slowly with the help of his hand.

With a pull, my chest bumped into him which made me shock. His hand landed on my back as his other hand held my own hand in the air.

"Oho! Are you making fun of me? Even if music doesn't exist, we can always dance whenever we want to. Just put your head against my chest and you'll hear the perfect tune for our dance." He smiled which had me shaking my head with a smile.

"You corny little bastard. It's so gross hearing it from you."

"You'll get used to it."

I rested my head against his chest and I heard faint sounds of a heart beating. It was Alexander's heartbeat. I smiled to myself as I tried to talk to myself.

Dear me, who has been lock up and forgotten for awhile, I want you to hang on. And to me, the new me, whatever happens in the future, always remind me that I should accept my past and thank myself that despite those trials, I am still alive and breathing. Please self, help me to overcome everything.