Felix's POV

I'm not entirely sure when I passed out again, but the first thing I remember when I wake up is hugging Chan so tightly and feeling like I never wanted to let him go. In some way, I'd finally admitted I felt something other than lust for the man, but in another way, I wanted to deny it. I wanted to destroy Chan and his gang so badly...didn't I?

When my brain cleared itself of the fog, I realised that no, no I didn't want to. Not anymore.

My eyes adjusted to the room a few moments later, and it was extremely unfamiliar. I wasn't in a hospital, but my eyes wandered to my left and I saw that I was hooked up to machines. I also had something hooked up to the vein in my left arm, most likely some concoction of antibiotics or some shit like that. When I glanced to my right, I saw Chan staring at me.

"Finally awake?"

Chan's POV (Now this is a first OwO)

Felix's eyes stared into mine for a good minute. It seemed like he didn't really believe I was actually there, but I saw the realization dawn on his face, and he turned away from me. I stared at the scarred side of his face that was now covered in bandages with only his eye peeking out. During GD's torture, most of the scars had re-opened.

I took him straight to Youngjae because I knew he'd know what to do. He wasn't too happy about helping Felix heal considering what almost happened last time, but I'm grateful he did. It's been three days since the incident, three days since I saved him, and during those three days, I admittedly thought a little too much about whatever the fuck was happening between Felix and me.

I was never one to love people in a romantic way, and even platonic love scared me because I know how cruel and cunning people can be. I loved my brother, and look where that got me. I knew I felt something for Felix, but was it love? Is it some fucked up kind of crush? I don't know, but it drove me up the wall the first day. Now though, seeing him turn away from me caused me to feel a stabbing like sensation in my chest.

"Felix, can you please look at me?" I ask, my voice soft so I don't overwhelm him.

It takes him a few long moments, but he finally turns to me with a blank expression.

"Why did you save me?" he asks me, and his voice is hoarse from not being used for the last three days.

Three days ago, he asked me the same question. I didn't have an answer for him then, but now...

"Because we're allies. Allies help each other" I said what I thought he needed to hear.

Clearly, he didn't like that answer. His face screws up in distaste, and he turns away from me again to stare up at the ceiling.

"You hate me"

"I don't hate you"

"Why the fuck are you here?" Felix spits out the words like venom, and my heart pounds against my chest.

Do I say it? Can I admit it?

"Because we're...I...fuck" I curse, my face hidden in my hands.

Now it's me who can't face him. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I must have said that last part out loud, because I hear him chuckle bitterly.

"I've been asking myself the same fucking thing for so long" I hear Felix say.

I glance up, and he's staring at me again. The look in his eyes tells me everything I needed to know. He feels the same.

"Felix, I-" "Don't. Don't fucking say it" his voice comes out shaky, as if he knows what I'm going to say.

My expression is pained. I hate this.

"If you say it, it means I have to admit it too"

"Admit what?" I ask gently, hoping, praying that I know what he's talking about.

He falls silent, and a million emotions flicker in eyes before settling on pure, unfiltered agony.

"You broke me, you fucker" Felix is at his breaking point, and honestly, I am too. "I had a fucking breakdown because of you. I hate you!"

I know he doesn't mean it. I stand up out of the chair I was sitting on, climbing into the bed beside him. He wants to shuffle away, but he can't. I'm lying on my side, staring at him. He's staring back at me, tears falling from his eyes.

"I hate you" he says, weaker this time.

I reach out a hand, wiping away his tears.

"No, you don't" I mutter. "I know you want to, but you don't. I don't hate you either. I-"

"I told you not to fucking say it"

"I want to be with you. There, I said it"

"...what does that even fucking mean?"

"I want to-" I take a deep breath in and out.

I'd been thinking this the last two days he'd been out. If I don't say it now, I never will.

"I want to show you what being cared for by someone you like about actually feels like"

Tears are flowing down his cheeks, as if he doesn't have the strength to stop them. I can feel my own tears falling too, but I have enough mental strength to control how many tears I let loose. My arms wrap around his middle, and I bury my face into his neck.

At the moment, he's unable to hold me as well, but he manages to hide his face in my hair, his body shaking with quiet sobs.

Do I love him? Maybe...

Okay, angsty and soft then. I was gonna do something a hell of a lot more angsty than this, and I still might tbh. Trust me, I have something planned and it's gonna kill me to write as well. All I'm gonna say is that neither Chan nor Felix will die, so you don't have to worry about that OwO