Indianapolis, Indiana, April 11th 1990

June's point of view

As I stood there, in my hotel room in Indianapolis, I took a few minutes to sit on my bed, and realize how cruel life can be. I was in Indianapolis to say my last goodbye to Ryan. This boy never deserved what happened to him. He loved animals, he loved his family, he loved his friends even though some of them turned their back at him because of his disease... He loved life. I couldn't and still can't understand why God took away his life. He must have His reasons, I told and repeated to myself, but I couldn't figure them out, and probably never will. When I learned about his passing, in the middle of the live interview I was giving to Oprah Winfrey, it took a good five minutes for me to realize what Jer told me. When I came back on set to finish the interview, my answers were not precise, not clear, and I was really off. Through the years, I learned to contain my tears, so I didn't cry in front of the cameras. I didn't cry at all, actually, but this doesn't mean I wasn't sad. I was. I was deeply hurt to hear about Ryan's passing. After the interview, Oprah came to me and asked me what was going on with me, and I explained to her about Ryan. She told me I should have told her about it before, that she would have cut the interview short, but I didn't want to. I wanted to finish the interview properly so I don't disappoint Karl. He was really looking forward to see this interview, and I knew he was watching. Unfortunately, he gave me a call after the interview, and he was angry. He said the first part of the interview was perfect, while the second part "sucked", to quote his word. I tried my hardest to explain to him what happened, but he said nothing should touch me, that I just had to carry on with my life no matter what happened to people around me. He tried to make me understand that the only thing that matters is myself and my career, but I'm not this kind of girl. I've been selfish once, and it was with Michael: look where it brought me. I can't risk being selfish again, and I won't. I don't care if Mr. Karl Lagerfeld says it himself, I won't, period.

As time was passing by, I had to get prepared for the funerals. I hated funerals since my dad's, but I needed to do this to be I peace with myself, and being able to say goodbye to Ryan one last time. While I was curling my hair with the iron, I played over and over again Ryan's visit to my place in Paris. I remember him calling me at this time in my life where I was at my worst, asking me to meet him while he was in Paris with his mother. I invited the both of them to my place, because I couldn't go outside: the paparazzi would have tracked us, and I didn't want them to go through this. I remember his face when he came in my condo: this angelic, and always-smiling face with this hopeful and sympathetic look he gave me. He was on vacation in Paris with his mother, and the first thing he wanted to do while in Paris was checking up on me, he explained to me. I remember him cheering me up, while I should have been the one cheering him up. He was the one who was going to end up dying in a small amount of time, but as kind and caring he was, he always made sure people felt good before his own well-being. He was adorable. We spent the day together, and he told me Michael and I will found our way back to each other because we were meant to be. It was more obvious for him than it was for me. I remember him teasing me by saying that Michael and I wouldn't stay appart for so long, because evrytime he saw us, we were apparently all over each other. The thoughts of this moment brang tears in my eyes, but I fought the urge to cry by telling myself that Ryan was in a better place now: no more fight, no more pain. He was going to live in peace, and this is all that mattered for me.

I slipped on a black laced dress which Karl sent me for the occasion, and put on simple black high heels on. I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror, took my clutch and put my shades on before leaving the room. My one and only personal bodyguard, Eric, was waiting for me outside my suite, and he accompained me to the elevator.

"Is there a lot of people outside?" I asked him, looking up at him.

This guy is even bigger than Pit, and I think Pit is like 6"8. I swear, he's huge, but I feel really safe walking down the street with him by my side.

"Yes. Apparently, you're not the only one staying in this hotel. I heard Elton John is staying at the third floor," he explained.

"Elton John and I, that's all?" I asked.

"Yes, ma'am. No sign of Mr. Jackson, if this is what you're implying."

I simply nodded. I knew Michael was going to be there, and I could feel my stomach tightening at the thought of seeing him again. I didn't see him in flesh and bones for two whole years, and I knew it would be weird to see his face again. His georgous, angelic, married face.

***

Michael's point of view

Once I arrived in front of the church on Meridian Street, I didn't waste anytime to come in the building with Pit and Bill by my sides because I didn't want to cause any commotion on that particular day. The church was half empty when I went to sit in the fourth row. I refused Jessica's invitation to come along with me because funerals are tough things, and I didn't want her to come.

When I heard about Ryan's passing, I couldn't help but remember the moments we spent together, and the moment that seemed to keep playing in my head was that one time when Ryan came to Neverland at the same time as Beverly. We had a blast together, but unfortunately, he had to go because he wasn't feeling well. I remember him saying that June was a keeper, that she was the prettiest woman he's ever seen, and that I should marry her as soon as I had the occasion. Justin thinking about it brang a smile on my face. Ryan understood me, he knew what it was like to feel harassed by people, by the press. He went through a lot of things while he was just a boy, and I admire his courage because he never gave up. He always fought for his life, and always made sure people he loved were safe and sound. His family and friends meant everything to him: he was completely devoted to them, and would have done eveything for them. He was one of the nicest guy I ever met.

After half an hour later, the church was completely full, and the ceremony could finally begin. I was amazed by the amount of people who came. I didn't know Ryan touched so many people by being the embassador of his disease. The priest made a wonderful speech about Ryan's ability to succeed in making people realize that they shouldn't be scared of this disease, that they shouldn't be scared of something they don't even know about. Ryan went all across the world in order to explain what was this disease, how he got infected and so on. A huge part of those people were touched by him, while the others just kept insulting him, calling him gay. Those people were simply idiots and ignorants.

As time passed by, it was time for Elton John to pay tribute to Ryan by singing Skyline Pigeon, which is a wonderful, touching song. I couldn't help myself and shed a tear while listenning to him. You could feel his emotion through the song, and he spread it all around the room. I took a quick glance at the first raw of the church where Ryan's mom was seated, along with the family, and she was devastated. She was crying her heart out, and it was painful for me to witness. I decided to leave the church, and just get some fresh air. Walking at the back of the church, the lyrics of the Elton's song echoed to my ears, and tears welled up in my eyes again.

"Just let me wake up in the morning

To the smell of new-mown hayTo laugh and cry, to live and dieIn the brightness of my day"

Once I reached the open door, I met Pit and Bill there, their backs facing me. They were talking to someone, but I couldn't see who it was.

Until Pit took a little step aside, and I see her.

June.

I stopped dead in my tracks, not bothering taking my eyes off of her. I didn't know she'd be here, thinking she must had a tight schedule, but she was. She was more beautiful than ever. Her hair was curled, just like I loved, she was wearing a black dress showing her wonderful legs and black heels. As I was watching her carefully without her noticing me, she took off her shades, and I think my heart skipped a few beats. Her eyes were even more beautiful as I could remember. They looked teary, but it made them sparkly and bright, and it was a real show for my own eyes. She was breathtaking, and I didn't think I'd be able to talk to her, even though I wanted to very badly. I didn't know what I'd say to her. Tell her that I moved on? No, because once I laid my eyes on her after two years without seeing her, I realized I wasn't over her, and porbably won't ever be. So I decided to just come back in the church, all shaken up.

As I was about to open the front door of the church, Pit called my name from behind, and when I turned around, I saw him coming closer to me with June by his side. My heart beated faster and faster at each step she took towards me. I thought my heart would just come out of my chest.

"Hey," she said, a ghost of a smile on her gorgeous face.

"Oh, hey," I nervously said. "I didn't see you behind those two mountains," I lied, referring to Pit and Bill.

She softly chuckled, "Yeah, I look like a fly next to them," she said, playfully nudging Pit who was standing by her side.

"Hey," Pit whined playfully, laughing. "I'm gonna find my mountain friend back," he declared. "Call my name if you need me, Mike. And you, prince-- I mean, Miss Wellington, you're not leaving without saying goodbye," he warned, before returning next to Bill.

I chuckled a bit as well, "So um, how've you been?" I asked her, trying to avoid an awkward silence.

"I've been well," she said, nodding. "Work kept me pretty busy."

"I bet," I gave a faint smile. "You're still working for Chanel, right?"

"Yes, I'm actually living in Paris now," she informed me. "Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, I watched your interview. I know you love Paris."

"I do. Once the Fashion Week was over, I didn't find the strength to come back to America, so I just stayed there," she shrugged.

It was weird talking to her like she was simply an old friend, knowing that she once was my lover, knowing that I once kissed those perfect lips of hers, knowing that I gave myself to her completely.

"How have you been?" she asked me, walking a bit closer to me, which caused my heart to beat even faster. "I heard you got married to Jessica, congrats!" she sincerely smiled at me.

"Um, yes, thank you," I smiled back. Maybe she did move on, I told myself.

"Does her son feel better now?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Yeah, he's still diabetic, but he's doing pretty fine," I explained. "He's a good boy."

"That's good," she faintly smiled. "Are you okay? You know, with Ryan's passing and everything... I know you cared about him a lot."

"I needed some fresh air, that's why I'm here. I still can't believe he's gone," I admitted, sighing.

"Yeah, me neither. I spent days just remembering the good times I spent with him," she said.

"Me too," I nodded. "He told me he came to see you in Paris?"

"Yeah, he came with his mom while visiting the city," she verified. "It was back when um, when I was sick," she explained.

"I know what happened to you, thanks to the interview," I told her, looking a the ground. "And I wanted to... To thank you, for what you said about me. It was really touching."

"I was just being honest," she shrugged.

The bells of the church rang, informing the funerals were over, and I felt a bit guilty for not attending it til the end, but I think I needed this talk with June. It showed me that she moved on, and as happy as I wanted to be about it, I couldn't, because I realized I wasn't over her at all. I knew I needed to move on, but I couldn't. I didn't want this time to be our last encounter for years, I wanted to see her again. I wanted her to be a part of my life again. I was still in love with her, and it was killing me to think about it.

"Hey um, maybe you could come by to Neverland sometime? So you can meet my wife," I said, and at the second those words came out of my mouth, I regretted saying this.

You want the actual love of your life to meet your fake wife, really, dude? I thought to myself. I didn't want June to meet her, I just wanted to see her again. I couldn't let her go once again, even if knowing she really moved on and forgot about what we had was really painful for me, I wanted to have her close to me once again.

"Well, I'm actually on vacation here for one more week, so I guess I'll be able to make it sometimes," she smiled again.

"Good," I nodded. "I guess I'll see you soon, then?"

"You will," she nodded. "Really soon, Michael."

I gave a sarcastic laugh, and repeated "Michael, it still sounds weird coming out of your mouth. Even after all this time."

"You'll have to get used to me calling you this again," she nervously chuckled.

"Are you ready to go?" a giant man asked her, coming from behind me.

"I am. You can bring the car, Eric," she smiled. "So, um," she began, focusing on me again, "I'm going to say goodbye to Pit, and I'll come back to New York to my mom," she explained, and I nodded.

"Glad to see your mom and you are good again," I sincerely said.

"Yeah, it took time, but things are finally back to normal," she nodded, and walked closer to me. "Maybe I'll pop over the day after tomorrow, what do you think?"

"It sounds perfect. We'll be glad to welcome you in our home," I said. What an idiot, I scolded myself. Our home, really Michael? It was her home to, once! Get some tact, for God's sake.

Plus, I knew Jessica wouldn't be happy about June's presence, but she moved on, she seems to be good with her life again, and I'm not changing this. I need to move on too, and I need to forget my feelings for her, and work on those I think I may... probably... perhaps... have for Jessica.

"See you then," she said, and to my suprise, she gave me a quick hug. I enjoyed every seconds of this moment, and took in her wonderful scent I missed so much. "Bye Michael," she said, breaking the hug, and walking away.

As soon as she left me, I felt empty all over again.

June's point of view

As I was walking away from Michael, I breathed again. It's like I held my breath during the entire time I was talking to him. I tried my best to show him I was over him by not making faces when he talked about Jessica, and kept on smiling not too lovingly. This conversation made me understand that it was foolish from me to break up with this gorgeous, amazing, nice and funny man. It was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life. Knowing him, I knew he believed me when I faked I was over him, because if he saw I wasn't over him, he wouldn't have invited me to their home -- which actually was my home too, way before the bitch's. Yes, I'm jealous. I didn't want him to think I was desesperate over our break up, even if I was. I wanted him to think that I was over him, that I did the good choice by letting him go.

Once I ended my conversation with Michael, I went to Pit, and hugged him tight, telling him I would come to California in a few. He was pretty shocked Michael invited me there, but I told him to go along with me faking I was over our relationship. As the loyal and understanding friend he is, he accepted, and I told him and Bill my goodbyes. It was actually nice seeing Bill again, he's such a kind man. I wished I could have seen Michael and Bill again in other cicumstances, but I knew deep down that, if Ryan was watching the both of us, he would be smiling to see us talking together. The funny thing was that, even in death, Ryan got to bring Michael and I together again, just like he wanted us to be.

As I got in the car, I asked Eric to bring me back to the hotel so we can pack our stuff and leave for New York. I needed to talk about what happened to my loved ones.

***

Michael's point of view

As soon as I was back in Neverland the next day around 9AM, I came in the main house and was greeted by a smiling Jessica. I put my little suitcase down, and went to give her a hug. Throughout my trip back home, I got to think a lot about my relationship with her, and the feelings I have for June, and I realized that, just as June did, I should probably move on as well. Then, I also remembered what Quincy told me about his wife and him. He didn't fall in love with her immediately, it took time, and I got to a conclusion that, maybe if I sped up things with Jessica, maybe my friendly feelings for us will turn into love, and maybe I'll find myself falling in love with her. I had to try, because I knew I couldn't end up being in love with a woman who visibly feel nothing for me anymore.

As I broke the hug with Jess, I didn't think a lot about my actions, and I just crashed my lips on hers. She was shocked at first, but she then kissed me back, putting all of her passion through the kiss. I could tell by the way she kissed me that she had been waiting for this for a long time. The kiss felt good, but it was nothing compared to the way June used to kiss me. It was nothing compared to the way she made me feel just by being here in front of me.

But it was time for me to move on, just like she did.