June's point of view

"Alex? What are you doing here?" I asked him, who was standing at my door with an expression on his face I wasn't able to describe.

"I'm here to make you stay," he said in a low voice, his french and sexy accent coming to my ears.

"What?" I laughed. "Come on, you know I'm not staying here any longer. I have a plane waiting for me."

"Please don't go," he breathed, serious. "May I come in for a second?"

"Sure," I said, taking a step aside to let him in.

I closed the door behind him, confused. It was the first time I saw Alex this way. He was normally always proud and confident, but the sight before my eyes was the exact opposite: he seemed insecure, nervous and scared.

"Those are for you," he said, handing me the dozen roses. "Red because of their meaning."

"Their meaning?" I asked, taking in the scent of the flowers. "They're beautiful, thank you."

"Just like you," he shyly said.

I didn't even tease him about his cheesy comment because I was still shocked about his sudden shyness and uneasiness. Alex, being shy? What the fuck?

"Thank you," I smiled, frowning. "So what's the meaning?"

"Red roses mean passion and," he paused a few seconds, "and love."

My eyes widened. What did he just say?

"Alex," I sighed. "Don't."

"I love you, June," he admitted, taking a step closer to me. "I mean, I'm in love with you."

"Don't be silly, all you love is my body," I waved a hand over his face, snickering nervously.

I turned around to put my roses in a vase, and Alex followed behind me to the kitchen.

"You don't get it," he said, leaning with his elbows on the kitchen island in front of me. "You made me a better man. The first time we met, I was a douchebag, but I changed. Can't you see that?"

"Yes," I smiled at him. "You changed, and I like the new you. But babe, we agreed our relationship would only be sexual. No feelings, no falling in love."

"Well, I lost the damn game. I'm a loser, but I don't care. June," he sighed, taking my hands in his, "believe me when I say I love you. You awoke something in me I thought I lost forever. Please don't walk away."

"You're a sweet guy, and sex with you was great, but you know where my heart is," I admitted, leaving his hold on my hands.

"I do. But don't you think your heart should belong to someone who loves you back?"

He had a point there.

"Alex, I don't want to talk about this with you. Please," I sighed, finally putting the roses in the vase.

"Please, let me take you out tonight," he pleaded.

"I can't, I have a plane and a family waiting for me."

"Then take me with you."

I looked deep into his green eyes, and noticed the seriousness in them. This was the very first time I saw Alex this way.

"What?" I asked, wishing I misheard him.

"Take me to New York with you," he repeated.

"I can't do that," I said, shaking my head.

"Why not? Don't you like me?" He asked, hurt.

"I do, but--"

I couldn't finish my sentence because Alex cut me off by crashing his lips onto mine without warning. I couldn't fight, his kisses made me feel alive again. He kissed me with such force and hunger that it made my head spinning. When I lost Michael as my lover, I thought that my love life was over, that I won't be able to feel good again in someone else's arm, but then, Alex came in the picture, and I have to admitt that I feel good when I'm in his arms. I saw the evolution of this man throughout the months, and I know he changed, but what I also know is that I don't want to be in a relationship with another model. I know what kind of lifestyle he has: the parties, the chicks, the drugs... I don't want to be worried about what could happen to him or the fact that he could cheat on me with one of these hoes.

"Let me say goodbye to you the proper way," he whispered through the kiss. "Let me make love to you."

"You don't make love, you fuck," I reminded him, while he was sucking on my neck.

"Let me prove you wrong," he said, bringing his hand on my cheek, looking in my eyes intensely.

Next thing I know, Alex is removing my skirt and blouse from me. He carefully picked me up and laid me on the couch, hovering me, and minutes later I am moaning his name while he's inside of me.

***

Neverland Ranch, Los Olivos, California, 8/29/1990.

Michael's point of view

Through the years, I never celebrated my birthday the proper way. No gifts, no parties, no nothing. Being raised in a Jehovah's witness' family didn't allow me to celebrate my birthdays nor Christmas. We just have family days, where the entire family gathers around lunch or dinner. I love those days surrounded by my family, that's why I decided to organize one on my birthday. I didn't do that to oblige them to celebrate my birthday, I just wanted to have them close to me. I'm turning thirty-two, and I can't stand the idea of getting old. I don't want to grow up, I wish time could stay frozen forever.

"Michael!" Jessica called, walking -- or should I say wobbbling-- towards me. "Janet's here."

"Great. Thanks," I said, giving her a weak smile.

Jessica was four months and a half pregnant, and her baby bump was quite showing now. Of course, I still wasn't able to touch her, or to try to hear my baby girl. She wouldn't let me, no matter how much I wanted to. Things between the two of us were quite difficult. Throughout the days, I tried my best to love her, to fall in love with her for the sake of our baby, but no matter how much I tried to, I never succeded. June was always in a major part of my head. I found myself thinking about her every single day since I left her this letter in Paris. I just hope she read through my words and understood that I love her too the same way she does. I couldn't tell her I loved her back because she'd question my loyality as I'm married. I just wished I could have told her the truth, and be with her again. Things have always been complicated between June and I, even though they seem simple now: we just left each other's life again. And it hurts as hell.

As I was looking out the window, I heard Janet's voice calling my name behind me, which tear me out of my sad thoughts.

"Hey Dunk," I smiled, giving her a hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, big bro," she answered, hugging me tightly.

"How have you been?" I asked her, breaking our embrace.

"I've been wonderful. I just came back from Paris. I had a charity concert there," she smiled up at me.

"Paris?" I asked, my eyes widening at the thought she could have seen June. "I mean uh, Paris is cool."

"Mike," Janet warned. "You're having a baby with your wife."

"She's not my wife," I said, looking down. "I mean, she is, but... You know what I mean."

"I do. But try hard to love her. She's a sweet girl. I'm sure you'll find yourself falling for her," Janet reassured.

"Maybe," I shrugged. "So you didn't see June in Paris?"

"Kinda," my sister said, becoming uneasy. "Oh look, Toya's here!"

"Janet," I sternly said. "Did you see her? What do you mean by "kinda"?" I asked, hair quoting my sister's words.

"I didn't see her... Her," she began. "I didn't see her in flesh and bones. I just saw her on those french magazines."

"What did I tell you about tabloids trash?" I asked her, crossing my arms on my chest. "You see what they do to me everyday."

"I know, Mike. I didn't buy it, I just saw the cover," she truthfully said.

"What did the cover say?" I asked her.

"You don't want to know," she said, shaking her head. "Just forget it, okay?"

"Janet. Please," I pleaded.

Even though I was scared of what my sister could tell me about June, I needed to know. Janet's change of demeanor was making me nervous and worried.

"Okay," she sighed. "She was caught with--"

"Michael Joseph Jackson! How rude of you not to welcome your guests!" LaToya yelled at me, stomping in the house.

I turned around, sighing heavily, and met my older sister's stare.

"Hey Toya, I'm sorry," I said, and gave her a hug. "I didn't see you."

"Yeah, right, Joker," she laughed, hugging me back. "Long time no see, baby bro!"

"Yeah, I'm happy to see you," I sincerely said, breaking our embrace.

"Where's this wife of yours? I want to touch this little baby bump of hers!" She excitedly said, clapping her hands.

"Well, good luck with that."

"What? She didn't let you touch it yet?" Janet chimed in.

"Nope, she won't let me come near her. She claims the doctor said she's fragile, so we can't touch her."

"Fragile? Come on! That's some bs."

I shrugged at LaToya's words, "that's what she says."

"Well, I'm going to touch that belly of hers and try to feel my nephew or niece," she annouced, and began to walk assure to go and see Jessica.

"Uh, wait! I'm coming with you!" Janet called behind her.

She began to walk away as well, but I grabbed her arm gently, "no, you're staying here, Jackson."

"Mike..." She sighed again, looking at me with sad eyes. "Seriously."

"Janet. Tell me. What's going on? Is it that bad you don't want to tell me?"

"I just don't want to make you sadder than you are now," she said in a low voice, patting my shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm not sad," I lied, giving her a weak smile. "I just..."

"You miss her."

"Yeah," I nodded, whispering. "It's hard to forget the person you love."

"I know, but you're going to have a baby, and Jessica loves you. You just need to take your time and try to love her as well."

"I know," I sighed. "What if I can't?"

"Then you'll figure out something. You're smarter than most people I know."

"Thanks Dunk," I smiled, more sincerely this time. "Now tell me. What's wrong with June?"

"Nothing is... wrong," she said, sighing. "It just seems she tries to move on. That's what you should do."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning. "Does she find herself someone else?"

"Looks like it..." My sister said in a low voice.

Maybe she thought it would be less painful if she spoke this way, but to be honest, it didn't. I felt a sharp pain in my heart at the second Janet verified my thoughts. How can she claim to love me, and find herself in someone else's arms?

"Tabloids are garbage, Dunk. It's probably--"

"No, Mike. The picture says it all. She was with this guy, hmm... Alex I think it is, and they were seen together in Paris... Kissing."

Alex? Kissing?

"Please tell me this is not the same Alex I think he is," I muttered to myself.

"What? You know him?" Janet asked me, frowning.

"I--umm, no. It's just... It's the same guy she was kissing when I caught her."

"He's not a good guy?"

"Janet, how can you ask me this question? Of course for me he isn't a good guy. He stole the woman I love from me."

"Come on," my little sister soothed, linking my arm with hers. "It's your birthday, and I want you to be happy today, so stop thinking about it."

***

As the entire family, minus Rebbie and Jackie who weren't able to come, was walking across the grounds of Neverland, I took a quick glance behind me, and noticed my mother all alone. Everybody was chatting with each other but her, and it made me feel bad. I didn't mean to put her aside. I love my mother dearly. To me, she's perfection.

"Mother," I smiled, once I joined her. "Why are you staying all alone?"

"Oh, I'm not," she laughed. "It's just that you guys walk way faster than me. I just take my time, I'm an old woman, you know Michael."

"You're not that old," I waved a hand in the air. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yes. Having my family reunited like this is always such a wonderful thing for me."

"It is for me as well. This is what I miss the most when I'm on tour."

"You'll soon have your own family now," she smiled up at me, and stopped to sit on a bench for a moment, where I joined her. "And I'll be a grandma again."

"Yeah," I forced a smile.

"What was that?" Mother asked me, eyeing me skeptically.

"Nothing. It's just... I just wish I could have made this baby with someone I love. I mean, I love Jess, but I can't see anything else than a friend in her."

"I know, Michael. You really did a mistake. Why did you have sex with this girl in the first place? I never understood."

"Because I needed to move on. Seeing June again was tough, but seeing that she moved on made me sad. It's horrible to say, but I used Jessica to forget about June, and it didn't work. I'm a horrible person for this."

"Don't say that, baby," mother said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "You're not a horrible person. You're human, you make mistakes. It's in our nature of human beings," she explained to me. "Does she know you still love June?"

"Yes, she does. I told her, I really wanted to be honest. I really care about her, and I don't want to hurt her anymore. I already did enough damage. She knows I'm trying to love her as hard as I can, and she seems to understand. But lately, well, since she's pregnant actually, she's distant. She doesn't seem to make any effort so I can love her. She won't let me touch her belly so I can feel my baby, mother. She says the doctor told her she was fragile, but it's absurde."

"She's afraid, that's all.  When I was pregnant with you, I was too. I was afraid anything could hurt you. I was afraid to move, I was afraid to walk... You need to understand that, when a woman is pregnant, her hormones are playing tricks on her. She can feel insecure, uneasy, or really happy, or really mad. Jessica is just feeling scared and insecure."

"You're probably right. I came to think she was just disgusted by me and my vitiligo. I look like some kind of freak, and people dint want freaks to come near them."

"Michael, Jessica loves you. She won't ever think such a thing, and you shouldn't either. You're beautiful, no matter what the press says," my mother reassured, patting my knee.

A silence fell upon us. I just had too much on my mind, and I knew my mother would be wise enough to comfort me and advise me. She's the wisest person I know.
 
"I just wish I could erase June from my memory. She's always there, she's everywhere. Everything makes me think about her," I admitted, breaking the silence.

"And right now, you wish she was here, am I right?"

I nodded, "mother, I love her. Not Jessica, not anyone. Just her."

My mother cupped my face in between her hands, and she looked at me deep in the eyes, "I promise the pain will go away with time. You'll forget about her, and you'll be able to raise your little bundle of joy in a united family."

"Thank you, mother," I smiled.

I gave her a hug, and she gave me one of her bear hugs I love so much. When I was younger, I was always asking for this kind of affection. I am the type of person who needs it. I need to feel loved, and I need to love back. It's all for love.

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt," Jessica arrived behind us.

"Oh it's okay dear. We were just having some mother/son time," she smiled.

Jessica smiled back, "Michael, I'm sorry but I feel really tired, so I'm just gonna head to the main house and take a nap if it's okay with you?"

"Yes, of course. Let me take you there," I said, offering her my arm, which she gladly linked with hers. "We'll be back, mother."

As we began to walk to the main house, I heard Janet's voice scream "fire!", and in barely a second or two, Jessica and I were soaking wet. Janet, Jermaine and Randy were throwing water balloons towards us.

"Stop guys! I'm pregnant!" Jessica yelled, dead serious, while I was cracking up.

Soon enough, the three of them stopped throwing water balloons at the both of us.

"Losers!" Randy yelled playfully, doing a little victory dance with Janet and Jermaine.

"It's not fair! You took us by surprise!" I protested.

"Come on, don't be a bad sport, little bro," Jermaine said.

"You're going to pay for that as soon as I'm back. I'm telling you!" I declared, narrowing my eyes at them. "Watch your backs, siblings."

"My children are crazy," mother laughed hard next to us, which caused me to smile at her happiness.

***

June's point of view

Why am I doing this, why am I doing this? I shouldn't. I should stay away from him. Go back to New York, June. Leave him alone.

But I couldn't. Even though my conscience kept telling me I shouldn't go to wish Michael a happy birthday, knowing, on top of that, that he doesn't celebrate it, I ignored it and flew all the way from New York to California to see him. I perfectly knew that it was not a bright idea, but I needed to see him. I realized after Alex's declaration the day before that I wouldn't be able to love him the way I love Michael. He's the only one for me, and even though it hurts, I have to be next to him. I want him in my life. I want him close to me.

"Hello?" Pit's voice echoed in the intercom outside the gates of Neverland.

"I'm here to see Mr. Jackson," I said, faking a high-pitched voice.

"And may I ask you who you are, ma'am?"

"Just an unemployed woman," I said, in the same voice.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Pit asked, dead serious.

"It looks like it is," I said in my normal voice. "Hey buddy."

"No. J-June? Is that you?"

"Oh my God, is that me?" I teased him, faking to be shocked. "It's me, Pit. Now open the damn gates."

***

"Hey Bill," I greeted Michael's head of security, Bill Bray. "Good to see you again."

"Same here," he said, breaking our friendly hug. "I didn't know Michael invited you."

"He didn't... It's a kind of... Surprise."

I heard Pit snicker behind me, and I shook my head at him, "would you make yourself uselful, Mr. Ryerson, and inform Mr. Jackson of my presence here? well, without telling him it's... Me, you know."

"I'm going to just do that, Miss Wellington," Pit said, sticking his tongue out at me.

"I'm coming with you," Bill said. "Take a seat here in the meanwhile, June. We'll be back in a few," he softly said, motionning to the little couch on the left of the door.

"Okay," I nodded.

But I didn't want to stay here, waiting. I began to walk around the house, through the living room, the kitchen, the dinning room while greeting Michael's maids. I didn't recognize any of them, but they sure did recognize me. I could tell by the looks they all gave me: shocked ones.

I decided to go further in my exploration of the house, and went  upstairs, where the bedrooms and bathrooms were. As I walked along the long hallway that lead to Michael's master bedroom, I noticed the guest bedroom I slept in during my first week at Neverland, which was just next to Elizabeth Taylor's one. Memories came rushing into my mind at the sight of that room. I pushed the door opened, and remembered how stunning it was. I walked further into it, and noticed clothes and stuff everywhere: this room was occupied. When I noticed a picture of Jessica and her son, Josh, on the nightstand, I understood this bedroom was hers now, and I have to say I felt a little bit jealous. I couldn't be mad at her, even though I didn't like her, because she didn't take anyone from me. I was the one to let Michael go in the first place. Biggest mistake in my entire life.

As my curiosity got the best of me, I opened the door of her walking closet and began to go through her clothes. Jeans, t-shirts, shirts... And lots of dresses. This must be the ones Michael buys her when they have to make a public appearance together, I guess.
No, I'm not jealous. I have plenty of dresses as well. Maybe I'm just a little bit jealous Michael bought them to her ass, that's all.

I opened a drawer, which ended up being her underwears one. I studied her panties for a sec, and noticed she was more of a thong girl. I personally don't like those things, I think they're not comfortable, but I have to admitt they're useful with certain outfit. As I was about to close the drawer, I noticed a weird thing at the bottom of it. I pulled it out, and studied the round thing a few seconds. It looked like a kind of pillow, but it was too heavy to be one. I looked down at it, frowning. It was like those things women use to make their butts look bigger and rounder. I laughed at the absurdity of that woman. However, when I looked at myself in the mirror, holding the thing against my belly, my inside laughter died down immediately. At the second I understood what that thing actually was, I let it fall on the ground in shock. Tears welled up in my eyes at the mixed emotions I was feeling: sadness, disgust, shock, relief, anger, hope.

It was a synthetic fake pregnant belly.