June's point of view

As I hung up the phone, I let out a huge sigh and plopped down on the couch. I couldn't believe that Michael had to be away from me for another day. I had everything planned in my mind: I would have cooked for him, we would have drank some wine, I would have put some sexy lingerie and we would have had a night full of mind blowing I-missed-you sex. That's what I planned for the both of us, but I had to cancel it all...
I as so happy at the idea to see Michael again, to be able to kiss his lips again, to feel his touch again. I was really looking forward to see him, and never let him go. It's crazy how much I missed him. We're a day away from Christmas' Eve, and I would be devastated if Michael missed it. It's his very first real Christmas, and I want him to discover the joy of this event with me, and no one else.

Even though I was sad as hell, I needed to be prepared toy appointment with Dr. Jones. I have to meet her twice in a week, so she can be able to see my evolution throughout the weeks. According to her, I'm healing pretty fast, and I couldn't be more happy about it. When I had my first session with her, she clearly said I was broken inside. I cried the entire time, and I was barely able to say a word to her between my sobs. As time passed by, I felt more comfortable talking to her, and she really helped me to get through all of this. For her, my brain had a kind of breakdown because of the past events, and she explained to me that it was a normal reaction for a human's mind. When you take too much on your shoulder in a short period of time, you're not able to bear the pain anymore, and your brain starts to messed you up: it doesn't understand anymore what's going on, there's just too much information. That's what happened to me. However, Amber told me I was going to be more fragile than I used to be from now on. The pain was eating me from the inside, it weakened me.

As I was sitting in the little room and waited for Dr. Jones to come, I checked my cellphone, but nothing. I had no new texts from Michael nor calls. I shrugged and put my phone back in my purse. I took a quick glance at the clock, and it read four in the afternoon. I sighed, because since I knew Michael wouldn't come home, it felt like time passed by slower than usual.

A few minutes went by, and finally Amber enterred the room with a light smile on her face. I stood up, and gave her a handshake while returning the light smile she was giving me. She's quite a sweet and beautiful woman. She has a soothing voice, and when you're talking to her, you have a feeling that everything's just going to be alright. She always wears a sweet smile on her face, and she looks just as sweet. She's a short woman -way shorter than I am- in her mid forties, with long dark brown hair and chocolate eyes with black binoculars. I just want to hug her when I see her. She saved me, and still is saving my life today. I'm very grateful for this, really.

As I sat down on front of her, she took her notepad in between her hands and opened it, taking a careful look at her notes. She looked up from it, and gave me yet another warm smile.

"How have you been, dear?" She asked me in this sweet voice of hers.

"I've been feeling a lot better, really," I answered, mirroring her smile. "It looks like things want to finally get back to normal."

She nodded her head, her smile getting wider, "I can see that," she admitted. "Look at beautiful you are!" She exclaimed, and I blushed.

"Thank you, doc," I shyly said. My cheeks were a bit hot at that point.

"My pleasure," she smiled. "So, did you recently have another hallucination, or are they still gone?"

"I had none since I last told you they were gone," I smiled, but I didn't know if it was to hide any trace of sadness because I missed seeing and talking to my father and brother, or because I was really happy I wasn't crazy anymore.

"How do you feel about it?"

Her ability to read my mind like an open book really impresses me.

"I don't know, honestly. On the one hand, I guess I kind of liked talking to them again, and being able to see them one more time... So maybe I feel sad about it. But on the other hand, it's like a weight is off of my shoulder now. It was like a burden, you know. It kept me from moving forwards, and it made me crazy."

"You should be happy about it. You need to keep telling yourself what I told you. Everyday. Remember? Rememeber what I told you?"

"I get off of bed, look at myself in the miror, and say: 'I'm heartbroken, but alive. I live in the harsh reality. I have to keep my head up, and move on',"I said, trying to sound confident.

"That's it. You keep telling you this every single day until your mind understands each and every single one of those words," she said, writing down something on her notepad before meeting my eyes again. "You need to grieve your losses, but grief takes time. It's nothing uncommon," she flashed me a smile full of empathy.

"It's like grief is a part of my life, though..." I admitted, sighing.

"I know. You've lost two of the most important people in your life, and Beverly, to whom you completely identified yourself to," she sadly sighed. "You're a strong person, but you need your happiness, and you can't stop yourself from being happy. Is there a place where you feel truly happy?"

"Can Michael be a place?" I shyly asked, with a slight laugh. "I mean, people say they feel happy at home, but I don't. I don't feel happy at home by myself anymore, even though I like it, because it's not my home anymore. Michael is my home," I admitted shyly. I may sound clingy, but it's the honest truth.

"That was beautiful," she said, and I could tell she was moved by my statement. "Michael is your home then," she smiled at me. "What does your future looks like with Michael in your mind?"

"In my mind, it's perfect. We'd get married and have our children running all across Neverland," I laughed, looking into space. "He's perfect, Amber. I couldn't ask for anyone better."

"Are you still insecure about his feelings towards you?"

"No. I guess it was just because of my paranoid ways," I admitted, looking at her again. "I'm just insecure about the fact I could make his life miserable by being... You know... Me." I gestured myself with my hands.

"What do you mean, by being you?"

"It's like my life is full of drama, and I don't want Michael to be involved once again," I admitted.

"Drama is over now, everything is going to get back to normal. If you take good care of yourself and your relationship, you have nothing to be afraid about."

"I hope so," I admitted, slightly smiling at her. "Michael called me earlier today, he's in Sweden and his plan had been delayed. He may not be here for Christmas..."

"You have to stop thinking negatively. Try to be more optimistic. I know it's easy to say when we're not in your shoes, but just try," she asked me, giving me a warm smile once again. "You can do it."

"I'll try," I smiled back.

For the rest of the session, we talked about Michael and our relationship. I told her more about my insecurties when it comes to him. I already told her about this, but I guess I needed to talk about it again. I explained how I feel like I'm not worth him. All I did for him was nothing less than bring drama into his life. Michael has a rough life too, and I feel selfish for this. Selfish for demanding his attention and focus while he already have to deal with his own issues, like his vitiligo, his tour, his sleep troubles, his addiction to painkillers... I feel horrible for not taking care of his problems, and just focus on mine, like nobody has problems but me. Doctor Jones told me I shouldn't feel guilty because it was hard for me to deal with this, and she said Michael would understand this. I decided to listen to him and be more attentive to him though. I promised myself I will be the best girlfriend ever from now on.

***

While I was watching TV, eating some chocolate ice cream and dressed in Michael's shirt and some shorts, I heard the doorbell ring, and stood up to answer the door. When I opened it, there stood my two favorite guys of the moment -besides Michael- : Jeremy, my most loyal and probably new best friend, and his charming and hilarious boyfriend, David accompanied by two giant pizza boxes. I took the spoon out of my mouth, and looked at them with a slight smile.

"What are you guys doing here? It's 7 in the evening!" I asked them.

"We're here to cheer you up and feed you, girl!" David exclaimed happily.

"Now move your ass from the doorway and let us in," Jer asked me, and I did as told, shaking my head at the both of them.

"You're adorable," I said, closing the door behind them.

"We're not Michael, but we're here to cheer you up," David smiled. "Now come sit here and eat with us."

I smiled and sat on one of the barstool of the kitchen island next to Jer.

"Thank you boys, really," I smiled, opening the box.

Maybe I didn't have my romantic diner and red wine, but I had two friends, pizza and beer, and it was just great at that moment.

That's what I needed.

***

Michael's point of view

I arrived in New York at 8:30pm, and I was ecstatic about it. I was finally able to see my girl again after what felt like an eternity. Bill and Pit came along and drove the Rolls Royce to Brooklyn. I don't know why I felt so nervous though. I was happy, but nervous at the same time, and of course my two bodyguards noticed my nervousness.

"How are you feeling, boss?" Pit asked me, looking at me through the little mirror of the car.

"Nervous and happy," I admitted with a smile.

"You shouldn't be nervous,"Bill chimed in. "She's going to be amazed to see you, Michael," he reassured me.
"I hope so," I sighed. "Where are we?"

"Go ahead and call her, we're almost here," Bill answered with a large smile.

I nodded and picked my phone to dial June's number. She answered after the fourth ringtone.

"Hello?" Her sweet voice asked.

"Hey baby, it's me," I announced.

"Oh my God! I didn't hear from you for hours, are you ok? I thought you turned into a snowman or skmething at this point," she said, serious, but it made me laugh.

"I'm not a snowman, babe," I chuckled.

"Good. How are you doing?"

"I miss you," I blurted out, not anssering her question. Bill parked the car and got out of it with Pit to see if the coast was clear. A few seconds later, Pit gave me a sign so I can get out of the car as well.

"Michael? Are you there?" June asked through the phone.

"Yes, sorry honey. Um, Carson just left, I was um... Telling him goodbye," I lied. I looked around and walked to June's appartment with Bill and Pit at my sides. "What were you saying?"

"That I missed you too," she said in a low voice.

"How much do you miss me?" I asked her, taking the stairs that lead to her appartment. Bill and Pit were waiting downstairs.

"Like crazy. I wish you were here..." She sighed. I rang her doorbell, a giant smile on my face. I couldn't wait any longer to see her angelic face again. "Hold on babe, someone's at the door," she told me.

I wonder who it is, I though, laughing to myself.

When she opened the door, her confused gave turned into a shocked one. She dropped her phone who fell on the ground, and put a hand over her mouth.

"You wished well," I told her with a giant grin.

"Oh my God!" She shouted, tears in her eyes before running into my arms. I picked her up, and she automatically wrapped her legs around my waist tightly. I inhaled deepely her scent that I missed so much, and just enjoy the moment. She removed her face from my neck and cupped my face between her hands, and gave me a passionate kiss followed by hundred of little pecks all over my face.

"I can't believe you're here," she whispered on my lips.

"I'm here, baby girl," I verified, and put her on her feet again.

As June and I were all over each other, kissing and hugging, we were distributed by a voice coming from the appartent.

"June? What the--" I recognized Jeremy's voice. "Michael?" He asked, shocked. "I thought..."

"I'm back," I simply said, looking down at June, caressing her hair. Her smile was big, just as mine.

My girl. I missed her so much.

______________________

Hey guys!
Quick update, I didn't have the time to read my chapter again, so excuse me for any typos already
You're all amazing, really! Thank you so much for your votes and comments.
L.O.V.E,
Julie