A/N modern AU and ur a cool af history teacher (Dream job lmao) and Hamilton is a famous writer. And the vid is the poem I use in this

~~~Your Pov~~~

There I sat in my chair in class reading the one letter I got from my old friend,

"You would say: "Be still, be still my boy."

Never Friend, because I wasn't. Just some boy from a different dad. Seems like our only thing in common was our need for therapy, but we never went. We just spent quiet time together, as if silence was expensive, but we were both filthy rich. A question like "do you love me?" was an itch our doctors told us not to scratch.

So we just prayed someone would catch it while rubbing us down after walking around with the weight of each other's world on our shoulders. We had hearts like boulders, we played Sisyphus trying to push the other's uphill, but we told our hearts: "Be still. Let no one move you, let no one lift you, let no one get through that stone wall you call skin, let no one in, because people are clumsy and they'll break you, take you apart in the study."

I told him this over and over when I was young I was a foster kid and so I told him to stay still so no one can break you.

"You tell the world that they knew you as if knowing was enough to make them the most foremost expert on you. They'll claim that everything you did or didn't do was just another complexity solved as simply as a grade 2 problem. As if by age 15 my only problem was math. As if I was never 15 and more dedicated to figuring out which path was quickest to the bathroom, so the bullies wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing me bleed on my clothes. And God knows you'd be there!"

He would get beat up in high school over so I was always there protecting him over and over.

"And so everywhere, like a nightmare I couldn't stop having, I'd wake up shaking with you there making it worth saying: "Be still, be still my boy." Never friend, just someone who it seems you're liking, just someone who it seems you never tried to know."

I used to hold him when he had nightmares, I'd make sure he was asleep before I kissed him goodnight, I would never show love back then.

"So somehow without moving we'd go through motions, to deserts daydreaming about a time when we were oceans, we were still trying to make our tides come in as if we had been throwing messages in bottles into each other. And our refusal to actually write those messages was just another way to say – nothing."

I told him to be quiet and no one will care. But we would talk through looks, somehow he saw through everything.

"We'd bring stillness home like a strayed dog and teach it to play dead. Tongues like leeches, we'd bled our voices dry, while a playing dead dog would try to teach us tricks like "Speak!" But we sat silent. Like two blind students trying to sneak a peek at their grade 6 teachers getting dressed, but we never knew what direction to look, so the kids next to us always whispered, "eyes on your own test." And I hated you. All the way up until the day you finally spoke.

You said: "There will come a time when the world will look at you without concern because you've always been still. They will look past you. You will be as unregarded as the scenery that people take for granted. You'll be ruled in the perceptions of you that they have planted in their mind, but all the while you will grow. And after all the years you spent trying to know stillness the whole world will turn their heads unable to miss the moment when you decided to move. And there will come a time when you must move. Move with the full force you would find behind the eyes of someone who could've spent their life satisfying a million desires, but instead decided to conquer just one; move like a legion of natural disasters towards the monuments they have built in an attempt to declare greatness they have never earned; move as swiftly as the knowledge learned by the students of practice; move so they cannot dismiss you;like sunlight through stained glass, not around but through each mass, they would raise against you; move because being still is something they can never make you do; move my boy, because I love you."

I taught him to move when it was needed, that would be more powerful. And, this was the first time I showed weakness.

"And I thought 'Awesome! You totally taught me how to be stubborn. That's great.'

But now that you're gone, now that quality has turned trait, I find myself caught up in an endless debate 'where' vs. 'when'. As if I am waiting for them to become now, so that the answers to 'why' resemble reasons like 'somehow'. As if 'somehow' was enough to encompass the rough estimate I make when I decide what direction to take for the moment I break the stillness. This heart is a juggernaut. One that you took the time to shape against all those who would hold up red tape in the path of the life I chose to live through."

A lot of people didn't like him so I did. He looked so distraught when I first meet him

"This is much more than my meager declaration of love. This is my Thank You, and this is for a girl who knew me well enough to know that should I ever choose to go through a struggle, I can set my sails like a ship breaking through the neck of a whiskey bottle. the school was a boxing ring and the man in my corner made sure not to bring a towel to throw in."

I always stopped and basked in his writing at this part.

"I've been studying stillness, watched my mother fight and lose to an illness that forced itself upon her as if it were the man she met after my father, the same man who couldn't bother to stick around after the diagnosis. I have known stillness."

We tracked down his dad, his dad left after his mom was diagnosed with cancer.

"This is for my love, who had the good sense to take me to that man's house, so I could ask him, why he did what he did, why? I will accept your apology, but you better make me believe that you're sorry. So go ahead – move me."

His dad was so moved.

"Miss (L/N)!" A student called out.

My head snapped up, "Yes?"

"I'm done, what do I do?" I was a history teacher, I lived in Ottawa Canada.

"Turn in your test then read, unless everyone is finished," I spoke.

"Well, I'm the last one soooo what do we do?"

"We-" My phone binged, "Hold up"

I was a message from an old friend Angelia. It read, "Alex is coming with us we didn't have a choice." I choked no, no not now. A student noticed my change in emotion.

"Miss (L/N) whats wrong?"

"Grab out the blankets and taffy." In my class, if someone was having a bad day, we all sat in a circle in the dark with blankets and maple taffy.

And so my students set up everything as I held back tears.

In the dark, we all sat in a circle and so I lost it I started to cry. My students huddled around me, "Miss whats wrong?"

"Much more then you can understand."

~~~Alexs Pov~~~

I held the books I've written close to my chest, I was going on tour, a signing tour. I've finished my American tour, now I'm doing my Canadian tour. Ironically a couple of my old high school friends are going. I looked down at my books, each one based on a new section of my life, my 2nd one ends the way my high school ended.

~~~Flashback~~~

At the current moment, I lived with my best friend, (Y/N) (L/N) we've had a weird relationship When I first meet her it was after my mom lost her battle to cancer. Anyway, I'm dating Eliza Skulyar, but theirs this girl who keeps trying to get me to cheat on Eliza, her names like Emma, ugh.

"Hey yo! (Y/N) there's this girl who wants me to cheat on Eliza with her." I told (Y/N).

"Alrighty, I'm on it!" She called running out of the house.

~~~The Next day~~~

Emma ran up to me, "What." I said not wanting to talk to her.

"(Y-Y/N) Beat me up, she came up to me randomly and punched me!" she cried, also she had a black eye.

I was angry, this is not what I wanted, I just wanted (Y/N) to talk to Emma not punch her. I walked up to (Y/N) fuming. "Why did you punch Emma?"

"W-what I didn't-" She looked confused I paid no head to it.

"Then why does she have a black eye?!" I yelled.

"Yesterday you hated her whats up? Make up your damn mind!" She yelled back.

"I wanted you to talk to her not punch her!" I kept yelling.

(Y/N) sat down, "Go away, Alexander." That was the same tone she used when we first meet, strict, mean and sad but I couldn't see past my anger to see Emma's lies. So when I awoke the next day, I found (Y/N) gone.

~~~back to present day~~~

I sent letters trying to apologize but she never responded, and one day I lost her address. Soon after Eliza left me, I was okay with that because she was to get my mind off (Y/N) but, I still loved her. Then my doorbell rung, I ran downstairs an opened the door it was the Schuyler sisters and Maria, chill girl.

"Are you ready?" Asked Eliza.

"Yeah! Hold up let me grab my stuff." So I opened my door and let them in. I ran upstairs and grabbed my suitcase and my phone.

I ran downstairs, "Ready to go?" Asked Eliza.

"Hell yeah!" I cheered, they all laughed. We all walked towards Eliza's car, I locked my house. And so we were off to the airport.

~~~Your pov~~~

It was the day Alexanders coming, I'm not super excited, but I'm somewhat excited the surprise book signing at my school. No one knows who the author is which is funny and weird. Anyway, I walked to my work and there everything was getting set up. I paid no mind I have more important things to worry aboot. I walked to my class and begun to set up for the day.

~~~Timeskip~~~

The first bell rung, kids ran or shuffled in. The second bell rung, time to start.

"Hello, class!" I called out.

"Hello!" they echoed.

"So today we're going to the library for the book signing!" I said.

And so everyone stood as we went downstairs and to the main library. then as we walked through the doors I saw someone I'd never thought I'd see here, Alex. I bolted.

~~~Alex pov~~~ 1/2 an hour before

We were all going to my first book signing, it was at a college. We laughed and talked and look at the scenery around us, Canada was beautiful. This college was a nice one. When we walked into the library I gasped, it was beautiful. And my set up was nice it was a table and my books on the side and a couple of pens. I sat down with Eliza then maria on right and Angelica then Peggy on my left.

A Woman walked up to us, "Hello! The first class will be coming down in a bit."

I nodded, "No worries!"

~~10 min later~~

I could hear the class coming I was so excited, then a person I never thought I'd see again walked through the door, (Y/N). She ran.

"Wait!" I called running after her, it seemed these halls never end then I saw (Y/N) Slam a door shut. I slowly walked up to the door, I took a deep breath, and knocked no answer. "(Y/N)?" My voice cracked.

"Go away!" I could hear her crying.

"Please?" I asked crying myself.

"Nooooo." I almost laughed.

"Come on. I'm sorry, you got all my letters, right?" I said.

I heard her sigh, "Alexader I kept all of them, there all in my desk. Alexander, do you want to know why I kept them all? Because I break my own hearts too many times to count even on a good day."

I started to sob, "I'm so sorry,I'm so sorry,I'm so sorry."

I heard the door open. Two arms around me, "it's my fault Alexander."

I hugged back, then I felt a kiss on my head, "it was my fault."

"I'm sorry it was my heart telling me that I love you too much."

"I know I know Alexander."

2236 words whoop whoop and references