☆// i swear i end up feeling empty. like you've taken something out of me, and I have to search my body for the scars, thinking "did he find that one last tender place to sink his teeth in?" //☆

-robert siken

...

Yeah, Frank loves Gee, but he's frustrated. He's clenching his hands together as he waits for Ray's response to the screenshots. Ray's typing. 

"What about it?" 

Frank scrunches up his nose and he's grabbing his hair frustratedly."Not the messages, look at the times."

And he's sure Ray is looking, he's looking hard, but sometimes he's dense, so Frank's not surprised when the message sent back is, "I'm confused." 

"Ray, this is all day. These are hours apart, and it's all me. He doesn't talk to me. He's my boyfriend, and he doesn't talk to me."

Frank breathes in deeply. He can't even focus right now, he can't do anything right now. Frank doesn't want to think about the prospect of Gerard not really loving him. He should trust Gerard's word, right? They're dating-- of course he should. But he gets this funny feeling. He had trusted Gerard's word every single time that the older boy told him he was going to stop talking to Lindsey. He had said it so many times. 

 "She's not good for me," Gerard mused. "Even as friends, she's toxic. I don't need her around, and I know you don't like her."

But every single time that Frank trusted Gerard, he was let down in one way or another. 

 "I was just texting Lindsey," Gerard would say oh-so-nonchalantly. It broke Frank's heart. "She said you were annoying. I didn't listen to her, though. God, I hate her sometimes."

"Fuck her," Frank thinks, scrunching his face even tighter. "In fact, fuck him, too. I can't fucking believe him." 

Gerard has never been one for human emotion. Mikey jokes that he doesn't have a heart. Frank had thought it was a joke for the longest time, but now, he's not sure.

Frank looks back down at his phone and sees that he wrote, "Yeah, sounds like Gerard." 

 And yeah, Frank realizes he can't take this bullshit any longer. He clicks off of Ray's name right onto Gerard's, cringing as he sees the blue conversation again.It's all in blue. All him.

"Hey." 

"You up?" 

Then it's some cheesy, half-assed inside joke that he's got with Gerard and Ray.Then it's another joke, it's poking fun at Gerard's sloth-like sleeping patterns.It goes back to the beginning. 

"Hey." 

"Are you okay?"

"I love you." 

"I hope you wake up soon."

Frank takes a deep breath upon seeing his own desperate messages. They're cries for attention, he thinks, and he won't even deny it. He thinks he's crazy for doing this, but he has to. 

He starts typing. 

"Listen, Gerard--" 

No, no, that's not fucking right. So he backspaces it.

"Hey." He starts off with. Yeah, it's stupid. He sits there a minute before going ahead again, typing out, "I can't do this alone, you know." 

 He sits there again for a few seconds and puts his phone down on his lap once more, tilting his head back onto the backboard.

Frank's phone buzzes and he's thinking, "No fucking way. There's no fucking way." 

He picks up his phone again and checks. Sure enough, he's fucking there. He's really there this time. He's not just posting on his story and ignoring Frank's existence. Gerard is texting him.

Frank frantically presses to see what the message is. 

"Hi." 

And his smile disappears again for a split second. Yeah, Gerard is totally ignoring the last part. And it's really fucking up his attempt to dump him. Because he's so fucking adorable. It's just "Hi." But Frank's heart flutters.

"Hi." Frank is feeling passive-aggressive and he doesn't give a fuck because he knows Gerard will be fucking oblivious. "Where were you? Texting Lindsey? Or y'know, whatever you were doing, I don't know."And yeah, he sounds like a fucking dick. An enormous fucking dick.

"No, I um," Comes the first message. "I was just sleepin. Doing stuff. I dunno." 

Half-assed.

Yet Frank's heart starts thumping faster. What is this boy trying to do? He can't even stay mad at him when he's imagining what Gerard looks like. He's cute when he's asleep, cute when he wakes up. Frank smiles to himself as he imagines Gerard's bed hair all in his face, the boy trying to frustratedly blow it out of his eyes long enough to send Frank a fucking text. Frank imagines him yawning cutely and arching his back, hearing it pop softly and satisfyingly.

Frank looks down at his phone again to see another message. 

 "Hey, I'm so sorry for not answering you. I really am. You can have me to yourself all day today."Then Gerard attaches a picture of a package of candy."Want some sour patch? We can maybe even share if you want?"

Fuck, here we are again.Franks grabs his pillow and squeezes it tight, giggling like a schoolgirl and he's sure all the blood has rushed right to his face.Frank realizes then that he's so totally fucked. And no, there's no way in hell he's breaking up with Gerard Way.