Short Story | Impaired Hearts

As I stared down at the icy cold stream of roaring bracky water, my body instantly reacted, I couldn't move my limbs. I was frozen with the idea of me jumping off this bridge then the rocks beneath it ravaged tore me into pieces. My heartbeat quickened as well as I could hear it pumped wildly inside of my chest.

My hands were trembling, grasping tighter on the steel handrails. I wasn't sure if I could do it. Just the sight of it scares me.

I already had planned this throughout the whole month, I wrote a short note for my mom and was perfectly placed over my bed where she can easily see it, deleted all of my social media accounts or any contacts, and of course I chose this not-so-well-known bridge and now was the perfect time to disappear in this messed up world.

Don't worry about it. Soon, you'll feel nothing. Everything will end and no one will ever know.

I nervously climbed up the railings and stood over it. I felt a lump forming in my throat, blocking whatever passing through it as I stretched away from my arms from my body.

One strong blow of the winter wind and I'll end up falling into the freezing river or maybe I could just throw myself in it so it would fasten things up.

A couple of minutes had passed and I just stood there like an action figure. I wanted to fall and drown yet I couldn't do it. What's wrong? Ending my life would only make it easier for me and anybody.

"Come on Abe, don't be a coward," I mumbled to myself. "Do it."

I slowly leaned forward, shutting my eyes closed and held my breath. This is it, finally, I'm going to do it and there's no turning back.

"You know you're not going to die if you just stand there."

I stopped once I heard a quirky voice mocking me. Turning around my head, my eyes spotted her short dark wavy locks swaying with the unruly wind. She was wearing a brown parka coat, blue jeans and a pair of brown winter boots. Her arms were crossed over her chest while laying her back on the steel post.

A smirk crept on her plump lips as she chews gum.

"Well guess what, I'm rethinking my life," I retorted. She blankly stared at me, blowing her gum until it popped.

"Why are you here?" I was sure that nobody uses this bridge at this hour, I always come here checking it out if this could help me in my suicide attempt.

Then why the hell there's a girl her?

"To witness your suicide," she uttered.

"No," I hissed, hinting her that I was annoyed seeing her existence. I felt my blood rushed through my cheeks, heating them up leaving a red tint.

"Leave me alone."

I turned back at head, now facing the full moon kissing the surface of the sea. It reflected so beautifully that urges me to die faster. If I'm going to end my life, I might as well die with a magnificent view. I inhaled deeply the fresh salty breeze coming from the sea, relaxing my tensed body.

I didn't hear her talking back at me. There was a complete silence within the surrounding, it was just the water and the wind who were making their natural noise.

I once again turned my head and my chartreuse eyes gazed all over the bridge checking if she left already. My forehead wrinkled as my thick eyebrows almost met when I found her not moving a muscle.

She's a stubborn one.

"You're still here? Go, home kid," I groaned, giving a glaring look.

"Who are you, my mom?" she snickered at me. "And we're the nearly the same age!"

"How'd you know?"

"I see you in school like every day hanging out with dumb cool kids."

I belonged with those dumb cool kids.

"So you're stalking me," I teased as I carefully lower my body and jumped off to safety.

"I do not!" She protested. I caught her cheeks tinted pink as the moonlight lit her small face. "You're basically everywhere!"

My mind tried to recall meeting her in possible places I often go but there was none. Maybe I wasn't paying close attention to my surroundings or maybe I just don't give a damn about her. I don't know who she was, she was not in any of my class and I don't think she had any relationship with my people. One thing is for sure, she was definitely not friendly with us 'dumb cool kids'. Her voice hinted a negative tone as she rolls both of her eyes over me. Does she loathe over us?

Sure we were really loud and likes to pull some pranks but I don't think we ever played some tricks on her.

I motioned myself to my dad's old black compact car. I pulled out a key from my pocket and unlocked the right front door, taking an opened can of beer from the backseat.

As I shut it closed, my feet led me to the girl who was watching me quietly, still chewing a piece of gum.

"You don't have anything to do here," I uttered then took a sip from the can in my hand.

"You're right," she smiled, mocking me with her answer.

She's difficult.

"Then why are you here?" I asked her again, hoping she would give me a decent answer this time. My fingers tapped along the metallic surface of the can as I wait for her response.

"I just want to be out here," she answered. I could hint that she was lying. She could be I mean, why would a girl wonder outside when it's already past bedtime. I raised my arm where my watch was and read the numbers on it, it was already one-twenty AM.

I sighed deeply in defeat and threw the can somewhere off the street once it was empty. If I can't make her go away, she's welcome to witness the show she wanted to see.

I climbed back on the railings and this time the wind was blowing harder. My heart started to pound faster once again, almost breaking out of my chest. My leg wobbled, shaking the railings a little making it difficult to maintain balance.

"Oh!" I gasped when I felt one of my feet almost slipped off.

I backed away a little, panting heavily. That was a close one.

If I moved a little forward then surely I would have ended diving into the cold water.

"You can't do it, can you?" she goaded. I stood still for the second time of my attempt suicide. I felt embarrassed as she watches me from my back. Once again, my cheeks heated up. I knew I was blushing out of embarrassment I was feeling at the moment.

Just climbed and jump off, that's all!

"Why are you still here?"

"Enjoying the view," she beamed looking back at me. As if I would easily believe her, it was obvious that she wasn't telling the truth.

"You mean my suicidal attempt," she looked away and smiled sheepishly.

"Go on, I'll just stand here."

"You seriously gonna watch me jump off this bridge?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I won't bother you."

I didn't bother to talk back at her, it was pointless and she was being so persistent. My shoulders dropped as I sighed deeply.

I turned my head and faced the view of the river flowing out to the open sea. I held onto the handrails, now having second thoughts if I should do it or not.

"Are you gonna do it or what?"

My lips parted as I wait for words to come out but none defended me.

She finally moved, motioning towards my way. Her body stood right beside me as her hands grasped onto the railings and started to climb on it.

"You really want to know why I'm here?" she said so softly while her eyes were focused at the midnight scenery.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, ignoring her question. I was starting to feel nervous and wary once more, my stomach tightens as I tried to ignore the thought of it.

Her eyes met mine, under the moon, her tawny orbs looked dull and tired like for a long time. It looked lifeless.

She weakly forced a smile on her lips and whispered gently but was still audible.

"Watch me."

Then my body quickly reacted but hers was quicker. I wasn't able to stop her when my hand slipped off from her wrist. Her body plunges into the cold water disappearing from my sight.

Without hesitation, I jumped off, following her. I held my breath and then plunges under the water. It was freezing and the gush was harsh.

"Hey!" I screamed as I popped my head out to the river to breathe some air. My eyes squinted every now and then as the water splashes all over my face. Even it was dark, my eyes wandered looking for her. I dove down once more to inspect by the rocks. The moonlit brightly, making it easier to see.

Well, it's better than nothing.

Between the rocky side, I saw her body motionless, her eyes were shut close as her limbs freely sway with the course of the river. I hurriedly swam to her even the cold water was stinging me.

I tried to carry her but she was heavy, her coat was heavy so I decided to take it off her.

Both of us gasped for air once I finally able to carry her above.

"You're out of your mind!" I yelled at her.

She just continued gasping for more air and her hands reached for my t-shirt, clenching tightly.

I started to swim out of the water before we completely freeze to death.

Once we were on land, we laid our bodies along the river bank as we panted heavily, she choked some water that had flowed through her lungs.

As I stared at her I noticed something dark flowing on the right side of her forehead. It started to makes its way down to the cheeks. "You're bleeding!"

"Relax I'm fine besides," she said so calmly at me then wiped it off with her wet palm, "You should have seen the look on your face!"

I really can't understand her, how can she still made fun of me when she was about to drown.

"You could have died!"

"I could have but I'm still alive and so are you," she said.

My mind processed her words and I realized that I had really failed my suicide attempt.

Maybe today was not my day.

I looked at her, there was a faint dismay look on her face, a tear streamed down her cheek. Is she crying or just some dripping water?

She shivered as the wind danced around us. Her eyes darted at me when she noticed I was staring at her quietly.

"I said I'm fine. You don't have to worry I had done this a couple of times."

What does she mean by that?

I was about to speak when she interrupted first. She stood up, squeezing her damped hair, and smiled.

"It's really cold out here and suddenly I'm starving, do you want to come with me? I know a good place to eat."

I found myself sitting on the driver's seat as she seated right beside me soaking wet in our clothes. I didn't have an extra since I knew I was about to kill myself. But it seemed like fate had something else for me.

Both of us were awfully quiet as I drove us to the nearest diner. My eyes were focused on the road when I saw her in my peripheral vision gazing outside the window, they were still dull and looked puffed. I guess she did cry but why?

"Here we are," her voice chimed inside the car. As we approached the diner, we parked in front and set ourselves out and headed inside.

There were no customers other than the man in a white apron with a quote 'best chef ever!' written on it. His hair was turning white while his face had wrinkles and dark circles were visible under his eyes. He looked at us with curiosity in his eyes. He must be wondering how we ended up so wet.

The diner was warm and cozy. We quickly sat along with the table beside the window. The man went to us and handed us the menu.

"I'd like your best selling to-die-for burgers and a cola please," she told him gleefully without even looking at the menu.

"I'd take hers too," I wasn't in the mood to eat. I had questions lingering inside my stupid brain.

The man nodded and before he left, he handed us two red towels matching the color of the diner's floor.

"Here, dry yourselves," He uttered with his really deep voice. We took them and thanked him, he simply nodded again and left us.

"What'd you think?" she spoke, tapping her fingers along the table.

"Of what?"

"Your failed suicide attempt of course!" she exclaimed out loud. I skimmed my eyes looking for the man luckily he was still in the kitchen.

"Can you tone it down?" I whispered harshly. Her mouth formed an 'o' and mouthed out the words 'sorry'.

"It was going well until you came," I sighed. Somehow I felt relieved that I was still alive and the other part of me felt distressed and disappointed.

I was so near to death and yet here I am, sitting inside a diner talking to a stranger.

"Tell me the details," she uttered as she dries her damp baggy black band shirt with the towel.

"I don't know you," I uttered as I followed her gaze to the man carrying a tray in his left hand.

As soon he was at our table, he handed out our foods and drinks, taking his tray with him back to the kitchen.

"Now, spill them up," she said as she devours her burger, taking a big bite and savors its flavor.

The aroma swayed to my nose and made my stomach grumble in pain. I took it and munched with my teeth.

It was greasy yet so addicting. The patty was perfectly grilled and has a bit of salt in it. It blended well with the other ingredients such as the creamy cheese, egg, and a lot of fresh vegetables.

"No," I refused as I take another bite of my burger. "I don't know you."

My eyes stared at her as she drinks her cola. I don't know if I could trust her with something so personal. She is a stranger after all.

"Yet you're eating a burger with me," she uttered after finishing her drink.

Yeah, you're right.

I took a sip and let out a sigh, maybe we won't meet again after this so maybe I can tell her besides, we did something crazy.

"Lucio killed himself," I mumbled lowly as I looked down, avoiding eye contact. I noticed she stopped eating and focused her attention on me.

"He's my younger brother. It's only been two weeks when he purposely drinks our dad's acid. He was asking for help from me the other weeks yet I ignored him and now he's gone. People in our house are fucking dysfunctional. I can't leave with them anymore. I want to be with my little bro," I explained. A lump formed in my throat as I started to cry remembering my little bro. I quickly wiped them off and looked up.

As I met her eyes, they were still dead and dull.

"I'm sorry for your lost," she genuinely consoled. It was like I was talking to a different person, the real her.

Usually, her voice was too loud and annoying but now they were soft and sweet.

"It's okay," I mumbled lowly. There were a couple of minutes where we stayed quiet until my ears heard a low whimper and quickly my eyes searched for who was it from.

In front of me was her crying. I just noticed that her arms were thin, they were not normal.

I felt uneasy and unsure why she started crying out of the blue. Maybe she's been carrying something in her chest for so long or she really felt sad for me. Suddenly she started vomiting the burger she just ate, messing all over the floor.

She hurriedly ran out and I paid the bill, apologized to the man for the mess that she had made before heading out to follow her.

"I was really about to die! Why do you have to save me?" She kept on weeping under the moon.

I didn't know that. It hasn't even crossed my mind. She acted lively and fun earlier how would I guess that?

"You want to know the reason why I wanted to die?" she sniffed and panted heavily for air.

I didn't respond. I simply stood and stared back at her. She must have been going through something hard for a really long time.

"I'm sick," she quivered. "wasn't it obvious?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say. My lips were glued together and my body was tensed. I didn't notice it earlier because of her big coat.

I looked at her once more, she was really thin like she almost out of meat and pale under the cold breeze of the leaves, she was shaking.

She wanted to do it, we both wanted to do it.

And yet I saved us.

"Maybe we could try it again?" She raised her head and stared straightly with her dull tawny eyes and smiled weakly.

I may have concluded that both of us are torn apart, mending our scarred selves with things we only have, and they were limited.

We planned our death, hoping this would be our last yet it seems fate had plans for us Maybe we could fix us while we still have the chance, change our broken hearts, give hope to our lonely souls.

Or maybe we could try again.

"Abe," I pulled out my hand waiting for someone to shake it.

"Nellie."

•

word count: 3066

ーa short twisted story of two broken souls trying to escape life but fate had plans in its mind.

this was probably the longest short story I've ever written in this compilation but I'm finding ways to shorten it in the near future. it is a bit of a rush when i made this, i hope it won't mind. is it possible to make a novel out of it?

an entry for petal's vommenting club
2nd runner-up under short story category
taemaniac-
ChimChimCruise

an entry for black and gold flames awards
2nd runner-up under short story/one shot category
BGCommunity

an entry for the plumanunulat one-shot contest
3rd runner-up under teen fiction category
@Plumanunulat_PH