Ello! Two chapters for you beautiful people! Also Happy Indigenous People Day! National Coming Out Day! And Mental Health Day! - On that note, I'm always here if anyone needs to talk, people love you and you are perfect the way you are :D This comment section and my DM's are a safe place <333

Thomas's POV

I sigh into the crook of Alex's neck, he smells nice. It's minty but his coffee smell rubbed off on him. Then there's just that Alex smell. It's just him. He traces circles on my back, I shift my head to the side. My left eye peaks open to look up at him, Alex's pretty eyes are closed and a content smile rests on his lips. His long brown hair dusts his cheek. Whew... here goes nothing. I lift my head up and slowly kiss his lips. I feel his eyes open when his eyelashes move up then back down. The kiss is soft, comforting. I tighten my grip on his shoulder, fear races through me. My anxiety creates voices shouting at me, as my father would. The previous butterflies in my stomach turn into nauseating waves that slowly break my confidence, piece by piece. 

I grip Alex's shoulder so roughly, it could leave a bruise. Alex only places his hand on my arm, not yanking it away although I'm probably hurting him. His thumb presses circles on my arm and he doesn't stop kissing back. His lips continue to move even though mine have frozen from pure fear. I want to cry. He understands. He will give me what I did even if I'm too weak to give it back. God, I love this man. Ugh, there's that word. Love. The one thing I'm scared of. Well not the act of loving someone, but loving the way I do. Always has been Him, never been her. 

We sadly pull apart. Curse the need for oxygen! I'm panting, blushing like a child. Alex keeps his eyes closed, still drawing circles on my arm. I release my death grip on him. 

"Sorry" I breathe out. Alex's eyes flutter open, "It's okay, you alright?" The concern flashes in his eyes. 

"I think so" The nerves calm down. Suddenly I'm overcome with sadness, tears brim. 

"Thomas?" Alex cups my cheek. God, he is glowing right now. How can he be so loving to me? I have been nothing but painful towards him. 

"I... it's stupid. I'm fine". I give a half-assed smile. He frowns slightly, "Be honest with me please". 

"It's just... I don't want to be scared every time I kiss you. I-its nothing against you but it's me. Somehow....I-" I take a deep breath. 

"Thomas, you don't have to tell me everything right now"

"I know, but I want to. I feel like I can pour my heart out to you and somehow I won't lose you. Even if your friend group finds out" An amused glare shoots at him. He sticks out his tongue, chuckling. "Yes well, that was concerning me. This is about you. It's private. And no, you won't lose me". I smile and start playing with strands of his soft brown locks. 

I clear my throat, "Anyway... somehow I feel like my... father-" He lets a breath, nodding. Damn is it that obvious? 

"Yes. It was considering you kept kissing me even though your words said differently" He explains. (I like them accidentally saying things outloud. Leave me be) 

I nod, "I feel like my father will find out. I'll be pulled out of this school and be put somewhere else. Hell, I could be thrown into a mental hospital. M-my brother doesn't talk to us anymore... he is somewhere living his life h-hopefully with the man of his dreams. After that 'incident', my father got stricter and I grabbed the nearest girl I could find to get him off my back. And now I'm so scared that he will know and that will happen to me... a-and we will be separated", Tears now freely escape, "A-and I d-don't know what I would do w-without y-you." Because I love you. Those words. I couldn't quite say them. Not yet. 

I lock eyes with Alex. A quiet fire burns somewhere in them for my father. I know that looks very well, Alex is sometimes has a bomb and it's a quick battle. But other times he has a fire that simmers and burns, brewing quietly. It's deadly. Trust me, you don't want to be on his bad side with that. I kiss his cheek to cool it down for now. He breaks out of his fury trance and smiles at me, comforting me. 

"We won't be separated. Your father won't be able to do that in a year. We can make it a year, then you are a legal adult." Alex presses his forehead against mine. 

"Yes, yes we can"

A While Later...

I step out of Alex's shower. Our talk was two hours ago but I haven't left yet and Alex has decided I'm spending the night. Gulp. I go to grab my clothes when I realize this isn't what I had on earlier. It's my clothes but they are different. I shrug, sliding them on. 

I walk back into the small living room. "Did you rummage through my clothes?" Alex looks up from his book, "No. Peggy did. That would have been weird." 

"Uh, I don't even know her?"

"Yeah but I'm... special" He winks. I roll my eyes, blush covering my cheek. I spot a fruit bowl, I point at it. 

"Go ahead". I grab an apple, tossing it around before taking a bite. "Whatcha reading?" I ask, mouth full of apple. Alex snorts before clearing his throat, "Autobiography for history class". 

"Booo..." I hold the apple in my mouth while giving two thumbs down. Alexander rolls his eyes, getting up from his chair to sit next to be on the couch. "Shut up" 

"Make me nerd". I tease, taking another bite. His eyebrow raises, before smirking. 

"Okay". While the apple is lodged between my teeth, Alex bites the other side and yanks it out of my mouth. After he takes his bite, he turns it around and places it back in my mouth. My dumbass didn't move and my face was pink. He takes a victory smirk and looks back at his book. 

"Why the fuck was that so hot?" 

"You're horny for apples my man" He giggles. I shove him, "What about actual dinner?" 

"Ehh kitchens too far, pizza?" He makes a lazy effort to reach for the kitchen and then smiles a goofy smile. 

"Lazy ass." 

"HEY! I'm reading a book here, my brain isn't lazy". 

"I didn't say that, I said your ass is lazy" I ruffle his hair, pulling out my phone and lying my head down on his lap. He scoffs but places the book on my head while I scroll on my phone to us some damn pizza order. 

*Ding*

"FOOD!" 

"gimme PIZZA!" We both jump up, I grab some extra dollars for a tip. The pizza guy looks a year younger than we are, might even go to this school. He is kind but quick. I set the box down on the coffee table while Alex gets plates. Alex and I are starving at this point, we devour the pizza in less than 30 minutes. 

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you, just thank you". He smiles, leaning over. He kisses the corner of my lips, "You're welcome, love". I nuzzle my way into his arms, resting my head on his chest. Both of us are too tired and stuffed to move so we decided to sleep on the couch. 

"Goodnight Alex"

"Night Tommy" I smile at the nickname

"Lexi? Can I call you that?". I look up at him. He nods, half asleep. I close my eyes, letting myself be overcome with sleep and warmth from him. Nerves still flutter around my stomach, I'm still anxious but it's bearable for now. 

You know? This might work. This might actually work. 

I'm deciding if I bring angst or more fluff for the next chapter. Lemme know what y'all want. <33