THE MOMENT

She looked at the little baby in her arms, he was crying, he had been crying for 30 minutes straight, she'd tried feeding him, changing his nappy and giving him a dummy- but nothing worked. Her hair was a mess atop her head and her eyes were puffy from crying too. She heard a groan from down the hallway and then footsteps.

"Sweetie, is he okay?" Its her father.

"No, he-He won't stop," She mumbles, sitting with the baby on her lap.

Paul walks into the room and sees his daughter looking tired, her eyes were hollow and she looked ill, half dead even. He gives her a soft smile.

"My life is over, Dad," She whispers, looking up at him and he shakes his head.

"Your life isn't over sweetheart, its just taken a different path to what was originally planned, you'll work through this, here, let me take him," Paul says and Alex slowly passes her baby over to her father.

"I'll take him to my room, you stay here and attempt some sleep at least," Paul says, looking down at his grandson.

"No, no Mom will only complain more than she already does," Alex says and Paul chuckles.

"I'll see to it that she doesn't," Paul says and Alex looks at the floor.

"I'm sorry Dad,"

"You have nothing to be sorry about darling," Paul smiles and Alex shakes her head.

"I've let you down, I can see it in your eyes sometimes. I've let mom down, I can see that everyday when she frowns at me or mutters words under her breath and when her friends ask about me- she changes the subject quickly. She doesn't want to be known as the mother of a teenager who got pregnant at 16," Alex says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"No, no, your mother loves you very much, and so do I, your mother just...She just sees it as a reputation thing,"

"Fuck her reputation, I'm her fucking daughter!" Alex's voice raises a few notches.

"Alex, please, be quiet, he's just dozing off," Paul says and Alex shakes her head and falls back against the bed.

"Goodnight Alex," Paul says and Alex sighs deeply.

"Goodnight Dad," She whispers before watching her father carry her son out of the room.

She dries her eyes and suddenly her phone beeps on the bedside table. She sits up and takes the device into her hands, she sees its another message from Simon who was currently at Leeds University.

She reads the messages- he messaged her every day and every night saying 'good morning' and 'goodnight'. She never replied, she couldn't stand to. She didn't want to tell Simon that Nathan was his son, she didn't want to pull him back to Eastbourne. She wanted him to be a success. She wanted him to be successful because she knew she'd never be successful herself.

Alex jumped awake. Sweat was pouring down the side of her face and her hair was knotty and stuck down by the sweat. She throws the quilt off her and swings her legs over the edge of the bed, breathing in deeply. She cursed herself for reminiscing before she went to sleep earlier that night, it must have been what caused the dream.

She picked up her drink off the side and gulped down the water that wasn't as cold as she would have liked. Alex stands up and carries her cup through to the living room, glancing over at the clock on the wall- 4:45 in the morning, the sun would soon be rising. Alex gets herself some water from the tap and gulps it down before refilling again. She heads back to her bedroom and places the cup on her bedside table before making her way to the bathroom. She has a fast shower and quickly dries off in her bedroom before changing into some clothes.

Alex sits in bed reading a book for awhile, there was no point going back to sleep- of course, she probably wouldn't even manage to go back to sleep. At around 7:30 she gets up again and heads into Nathan's room.

She walks over and leans over her son, "Nathan, time to get up for school,"

Nathan shrugs her hand off his shoulder and rolls over.

"C'mon mister, its breakfast time," Alex says and Nathan slowly pulls himself out of the bed and follows his mother to the kitchen where she whips up two bowls of cereal before passing one to Nathan. She eats her own and then tells Nathan to go get his teeth brushed and his uniform on. Nathan runs off to get ready while Alex washes up the bowls and spoons and waits for her son to get ready, which inevitably leads her to helping him get dressed and packing his Star Wars backpack for him. He grabs his coat and by 8:30 they're out the door and heading for school. They get there just in time for the bell ringing at 8:45 and Alex gives her son a kiss goodbye and she waves as he lines up with his classmates, grinning at Jenny. Alex waits for a moment, watching her little boy go into the school.

Alex leaves the school grounds and takes a slow walk home, she's just about to open her front door when her phone rings in her pocket. She pulls it out and sees its her mother. She answers reluctantly.

"Hey mom," She says and she hears a stifled sob on the other end.

"Mom?" She asks and she hears sniffling and mumbling, "Mom whats wrong? Are you okay?"

"Paul...Your father..."

"What? Mom what're you saying?" Alex asks, her head was whirling.

"He's gone," She hear and her eyebrows furrow with confusion.

"Gone? What do you mean? Where's he gone?"

"No, no, no, he's...He's dead,"

The phone slips from Alex's hand and her whole body freezes. She feels instantly numb, like someone just dosed her up to her eyeballs in anaesthetic. She falls forwards, pressing her hands against her front door to stop her falling.

"Alex? Alex are you there?" She hears from the fallen phone.

She looks around frantically, her chest was tight and her throat felt blocked. She wanted to scream, but nothing would come, she couldn't even utter a single syllable.

She hesitantly leans down and lifts the phone to her ear.

"You're lying," Alex whispers and she hears her mothers sob.

"I wish I was Alex, but...But I'm not...He's gone...I...I,"

"No, he...He can't be, he just can't be," Alex says.

"I'm sorry darling, I'm so so sorry," Her mother whispers and Alex can't do anything but hang up- she regrets it instantly, her mother probably needed her now more than ever, but she couldn't stand it.

Alex breathes in deeply and gets herself into the house, walking through to her bedroom. She falls onto her bed and allows the screams, the tears and the words to tumble out against her pillow while no one was around to listen.

She had not only lost her father, she had lost a friend.

_________________

Well ain't that a bitch.

Let me know what you thought guys, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Thanks for reading!

~KatnissBajanCanadian❤