Day rolls on so soon, however the sun can not be seen by Chris. The cell wall keeps him and Avagay captive from the outside world. The strong stench of blood reaches his nostrils. His heart beats loudly. He knew what they did in here: torture.

He shifts himself, slowly, but carefully. Ava rest soundlessly on his lap, the moving of her chest the only thing indicating she's still alive. He looks down on her.

Blood smears her face, while a coco presents itself on her forehead. She licks her lips and turns her face away from him. He doesn't blame her.

Crash, the sound so vivid. The feeling so fresh. The memory so new. He did it. She knows nothing. He's the bad guy, she's miss innocent. In the world of forgotten memories she tries to process it all, but she needs a background. She needs answers. I have them.

I brush my hair from my face. I should tell her, shouldn't I? But, will she want to be with me after? Will she stay by my side? No. I shouldn't tell her, at least not yet.

What if she finds out on her own? What if someone else tells her? It would be so much worse then. She already doesn't trust me. That will make it worst.

I want to but I don't: complicated. She said I betrayed her, I did. I told her lies too, many. She knows something is wrong, and she's right. I should just confess.

My heart aches. I try my best not to show my emotions. She calls me grumpy. Only if she knew. I limit myself to her. Not because I want to, but for her own safety. She should live a normal life. Go back to her life, before me and the agency.

I turn my back, it hurts her. I know. She hates being left behind. It's her memory, she has a right to know. I just can't bring myself to tell her. I'm sorry.

My tears draw near. I should have never done that. Betray her. Told her lies. Make decisions for her. Make her life miserable. Decisions. Life. Betrayal. Lies. Trust.

Where is the trust? She has lost it all, because of me.

A tear escapes my eye. I have kept it in long enough. Everything. I cry. I let my manly image down.

I need to tell her. Especially before F@X decides what they'll do to us. Rouge agents are normally killed. I brought death to her. I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen, it just did. Excuses. I'm sorry.

"Christopher," she whispers. I wish she did that once that time.

"Chris," her voice reaches my ears. She wipes my tears with her bare hand as she gets up from my lap. I don't deserve this.

"Why are you crying?", She asks. I stare into her eyes, then on her face: beautiful. I never meant to hurt the one I love, I never once intended to. I just wanted to help her. I never did. I caused her more pain. Selfish that's what I was. Selfish.

"Chris tell me" her eyes pleading.

"I'm sorry," I finally say. "I never meant to, I really didn't want to"

"What are you talking about?"

"I just wanted you to overcome your fear. Wanted to follow through with James. I just. I just nothing. Those are all excuses, I'm wrong. I'm to be blamed. For everything. I caused everything on you and I'm sorry"

"Explain," she said face stern. All her concern washed away. She shuffles over away from me. She has already left my side. She folds her leg under her, the chain around her ankle screaming with every move. She looks on me not caring about my tears anymore. I deserve it.

"Tell me," she says. I begin to talk.

It all stared a year and couple months ago, on one of those August afternoon. I just came back from a mission, when I was told James summoned me. I went to him a few questions on display in my mind.

Was something Wrong with Avagay?
Did she get hurt while I was gone?
Why would he want to see my now? I just came back from a mission.

Normally after a mission the team leader would write a log, on the mission events: accomplishments, difficulties... In about a day when everything was recorded and scanned a meeting would be held.

I wasn't the team leader, I didn't do this mission with my team. So why would I be called? It couldn't be concerning my previous mission. I had done everything according to plan so it couldn't be a compliant. If it was a compliment it could stay till the meeting. What was it? Ava was the only thing that came to mind. Wait crystal? Is it her? 

I arrived at the large oak doors. They were wide open awaiting my arrival. I knocked, then entered addressing Senior agent James. He complained about my formality, a man who believes everyone is family. He complimented me, he wanted something. He's friendly with everyone and smiles a lot unlike myself. However, I know when somebody wants a favor. Too much love.

He gave me a new mission, every instruction written down in the booklet marked 'Mission Exclusive 5.0'

He wanted me to pursued Ava to come on the mission with me. No one couldn't: himself or Crystal. He left it up to me. I was the team leader after all.

I knew she wouldn't agree. I didn't ask her again I tricked her. That night, the same night she dread. I betrayed her. I watched the men take her to the car. I watched her fight and lose. That same night she came from a mission and I brought her in a next mission. I said it was classified. She always hated that answer. I now understand why.

She trusted me. I was her team leader, best friend. I loved her, I still do. I betrayed her with lies.

I just wanted to accomplish the mission. She hated playing the roll of a kidnapped agent, but that was her roll in that mission. I could have changed it, I could have used someone else even though I was supposed to use my team. I didn't. I didn't do anything; I did something.

I wanted her to overcome her fear, and did her wrong. I shouldn't have forced her.

I remembered her expression.

I hate you, she said. It hurt me, I kept my face straight. I told her what the mission was about, she agreed. But; but, I still did her wrong. I walked out the room feeling like shit, like I should have.

I walked down the hall and exited through the back door. I felt the harsh impact of  wind against my exposed skin. I walked and walked until I was far away and only the men, who guarded the roof could see me. I exhaled sharply and took a cigarette from my back pocket, lighting it afterwards.

I took a puff, then threw my head back. I was stressed. Didn't know what to think of myself. Not after leaving Ava in there. Not after telling her a lie then drawing her into this mission. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I remembered Cindy was calling earlier, I dialed her. She picked up the phone her tone drowsy as if she were asleep.

"You wanted to speak to me earlier, sorry I couldn't hear what you had to say then" I took a puff of the killer of many, between my fingers.

"Yeah it's about the file that we're supposed to transfer to HQ. It looks as if Xmas found out about that we hacked their system and upgraded it. I'm locked out and I don't want to use the same code twice because as you know I have have hacked for them before and if they're smart enough they'll realize that it's me who did the hacking. That's why I had to flee early this morning," Crystal said as clearly as possible no expression other than tiredness written in her tone. "We'll need a next hacker"

She awaited Chris reply.

I stopped listening. So we are back at square one and Ava is in there. I'm such a bitch.

Only if I had listened to what crystal had to say earlier. I'm to be blamed.

"Chris are you still on the line", Crystal's soft feminine voice said bringing him back to present.

"Yeah,How did they know so fast?"   Chris asked not expecting an answer.

The reality hit him hard, he didn't want to be the person that caused Ava to feel pain or to go through hard times. He wanted to be there to protect and watch over her. And, that's probably the reason why he haven't told her his feelings for her as yet. If he could keep it this way he would be fine, but if his confession would break this friendship apart then he was up to the opinion of letting it rest, even though the feeling will never leave his heart.

" How did they find out what so quickly? That your name is actually Christopher", A male voice said from behind Chris.

Chris turned facing the man realizing who it was instantly. From the start he had weird feelings about the man and his presence always seemed toxic.

"I'll call you back," he said to Crystal, then ended the call. He took one last puff of his cigarette, then drops it on the ground mashing it out with his foot afterwards.

He looked up at the man, like questioning his existence. The elder looked at Chris a chuckle escaped his lips. Chris wanted to snap his neck. However, that wouldn't solve anything. He calmed himself.

"You look like you're about to shit your pants," the man said, a small smirk creeping up to his lips. "You must be wondering how I know your name right?" the man then continued. No response from Christopher. He stared.

The man became confused. The man thought when Chris ended the call he was going to lung at him, but he didn't. Instead he dropped his cigarette and mashed it out. The man then thought it was to intimidate him.  So he spoke first to prove he wasn't afraid. So, what was it now? Silence is the best intimidator, that's the secret.

"What's your name again", Christopher said breaking the silence. "Mark right" He smirked.

"How do you know my name Mark?"

"Classified", Mark responded

"Cut the shit man  I know what you're up to. You are not here to help Xmas. Neither am I. I'm here to get you and the girl.", He responded.

Chris raised an eyebrow, he's really brave to say that.

"Your a good man Chris that's why I need you to come with me. If you have questions keep them till later. What you need to know now is we need your help"

"Who is we," Chris asked.

"Classified"

"So why the hell are you coming to me then if everything is classified you should just go do whatever you want me to do yourself," Mark sighed. He was a hard nut to crack.

'Report to the meeting room now' Adam's voice was heard from both Chris and Marks walkie-talkie. Both looked at each other then answered. They followed through with the order.

They got a mission, and carried it out. While at their position an accident occured where Mark sniper case got Chris in the face, almost made him eliminated. Almost. Christopher knocked Mark out then called Crystal to come pick him up. He completed his so called mission from Xmas.

Noon came faster everything was dreadful. Upon to the point where Ava killed Andy and Mack. Even after that.

Her eyes were pleading staring into my soul. I was wrong, I knew. I didn't need her to tell me, but I allowed her to. I went too far.

She turned around she knew that I knew and refused to do right. She left me. I placed her back back in the jeep beside Jonny (Jason). I went to the front seat with Mike.

I looked through the rear mirror at her fragile frame. I hurt her that's what I did. She stared at me in the mirror, then her eyes closed. Block me out, if I could do that to myself then I would.

Betrayer: I betrayed her. I betrayed my love. I betrayed my best friend. I betrayed the person who trusted me. I lost her trust. The trust she only held for certain persons. I broke it, with lies, my actions. Damn it! I'm such a loser. Because I wanted to complete a mission, I sacrificed my best friend. Such a bastard. Such a betrayer. Evil. Stupid. Bastard.

"Shut up I know," I shouted. I was going mad. I did Ava wrong. I needed to make things right.

I go my knife an stabbed Mike. He was never one of us. I stabbed him. I felt it. I killed a man and I didn't have to if I just stayed trust worthy: pain. I stabbed him again.

"Are you n your girl insane," Jonny asks pulling up the hand breaker. It stops. I turned to Jonny then back to Mike. I did it. I killed him. The car stopped behind. Shit.

I quickly opened the door and kicked Mike's dead body out the car, after I got my knife. I got in the drivers seat and begun to drive.

I watched in the mirror: the man checked Mike's scene then went back in his vehicle following.

'The girl is on the run', he advertised over the radio. Shit.

"We have to get them out," I say to John (Johnny). He gets to work, while I drive.

I don't have much ammunition left", Johnny stated after a while.

"we will have to let it do", Chris responded. He tried to play the tough guy that always wear a straight face no matter the situation. However, he was broken deep inside.

Johnny only had two bullets left, but he had three people to kill. He tried  shooting the driver; it would slow them down. He misses the divers chest. He aim for the head, the car swerves: misses.

"shit," he said, then looked to see if anymore ammunition or weapons were in the car, but there was none.

"we are all out?," I asked hopelessness evident in my voice, I couldn't help it.  Shit! We were definitely going to get caught and killed. I then stepped in the gas, passing the driving limit.  Johnny flew back from the unexpected speed. He held the seat for support.

"if you drive this fast we may just end up dead," Johnny stated.

"not now Johnny," I responded. I wanted to hear no jokes about anyone dying right now.

"watch out for the curve", Johnny warned.

I pressed the brake, but the car went skidding out of control. I tried. I tried my best to get a hold of the car. I failed.

The car went flying over the curve carrying a piece of brick with it. The car rolled down the slope, doing few car wheels as it went by. It did a super high bacar flip before landing with a loud thud.

I held my breath, I'm dead. Aren't I? Or was I about to die?

Wait no I feel pain I'm not dead. I'm bout to die. I breathed. Opening my eyes. My body felt numb. I laid there for a bit.

Then my kind became active. Avagay? Johnny? Are they dead. I need help.

I reached for my phone in my pocket. Nothing. I try harder. Got it. I dialed Crystal. He got her; he got help. But for who.

I looked around: blood. Tears came. They are dead aren't they. I checked Johnny's pulse: dead. Tears rolled. I killed him. Ava? Is she? I can't live with that crime.

I cried. Her head was opened. I killed her. No. Her chest moves, slowly. Stay with me, help is on the way.

"So it wasn't me who crashed but you," Ava says cutting into my story. I shake my head. She turns her back. I leave her. I'm a betrayer I have nothing to say but I'm sorry and I deserve any punishment that comes after.