As I speak, on the phone, with Sylvia the next day, she talks about Liam repeatedly. Describes his outer features as if I already had not met him yet. Promising me "I swear he is cute", and I simply nod – but realize that she can't see me doing so over the phone.

Excitedly she squeals, "Gurl, I'll tell you everything later!" Forgetting the fact that she has already given me an extremely detailed illustration of his hair earlier in the conversation. Like this one:

"Every time he turned from side to side, and did one of his awkward dance moves, his brown tresses swayed together with him. Liam denied it, but I think, no I am quite sure, that his hairstyle was slightly crooked, because it looked like it was longer on one side, and shorter on the other. However, his hair was silky, trust me I'd know; I even touched it several times."

Only remembering that makes me anxious for lunch, but I still don't cut her off. "Mhm, do that", I encourage her drily. Not that it is an encouragement at all, but Sylvia doesn't care.

"Well, I could that now-" I quickly cut her off.

"Yeah, at school would be much better." I might sound rude, but I am honestly lacking time. "They haven't woken up for breakfast yet."

She already knows who I am talking about. I don't need to give her an explanation, seen as how this ain't the first time something like this is happening.

"Shit, I always forget, Avena. I'm still fascinated on how you manage to take care of everything."

Feeling the urge to cover up for my tired head, I make myself laugh. It isn't really a laughter, only a cover up, which seems to worsen the situation, because her statement wasn't even funny.

"See ya at school."

When I remember that I still haven't made anything for breakfast, I start to run. The smell of waffles makes me stop in my tracks. Only one person in this house makes waffles. Reaching the kitchen, I see a tall figure in front of the sink. As I clench my fist, he turns around. However, when I see his crooked smile, my anger drifts away. He always does this. No matter for how long he disappears, I can't stay mad at him for not coming home on time.

"I've been worried sick!" I exclaim while going in for a hug.

He pulls me in and utters his signature sentence: "I'm always safe. Don't worry."

"Aiden, you can't say that and expect me to calm down."

Back when things were a little more different, Aiden was always at home on the right time. He wasn't even into partying. Over the couple of months he changed drastically. Mom started drinking, and she didn't even dare to touch an alcohol bottle back when dad was with us.

I think I'm speaking on everyone's behalf when I say things were better before. Back when we were a family, that is.

The silence is unbearably loud, when the four of us sit together to eat our breakfast early on a monday morning.

"How did you all like the waffles?" Aiden smiles.

While I give him thumbs up, and Jake compliments: "They were amazing!", Dani, on the other hand, decides to spit: "They were dry."

Our older brother's shoulders tense for a split of a second, but he manages to come up with a sincere smile. He even stretches his hand and ruffles her hair.

However, Dani is not having any of it today. Somehow her whole body seems like it's filled with anger. "Why did you even come home?"

Even Jake notices that something is wrong. Trying to move his attention from what seems like the beginning to an intense fight, I give him another waffle.

Aiden shifts uncomfortably in this chair. "What do you mean, you silly goose?"

"Did you just compare me to an animal?" He looks taken aback from her sudden reaction. Not managing to connect the dots between what he said, and to her reaction - he looks at me for support.

Sorry, dear brother, you're on your own.

Hitting her palms furiously on the table, my little sister raises her body up from the chair. "I'll show you-"

Immediately I demand her to sit down again. "Dani!" When she faces me, her eyes are on alert and her breath is no where near steady.

"What?!" she yells back. Tiredness is evident in her voice. She might be mad at Aiden, not saying she isn't, but she's frantic at something else. As she asks me "What do you want, Avena?", I get the confirmation I need.

Before I utter any other word, she grabs her bag and leaves the house. Aiden knows better than to stop her. While breathing out heavily, he muffles a low "I didn't mean it like that."

The silence doesn't last for too long, when Jake asks: "Are you going to leave like mom and dad?"

There are three things that come for free, when you're a part of this family:

Constant nagging whenever you do something wrong, even though they are very well aware of the fact that you've been trying to get it right for so long.

Secondly the urge of having to get recognized. The scream and plea for attention. No matter how much attention I try to soak my siblings in, it never seems enough. I'll never be as warm as mom. I'll be as jokingly as dad.

Lastly, the constant fear of getting left behind.

They do not necessarily admit this to themselves, but we all know; as dad left the house, he took the love and care we never appreciated, with him. All along the lines mom somehow decided she could not pull this off on her own. You see, that is what happens when you rely on someone so much you make them your air, and when they one day wake up and decide they would much rather prefer not to share this intimate part of themselves with you - you'll forget to breathe.

"Of course not, Jakey, I will take care of you." Aiden's promise sounds more like a conviction to himself, rather than a confirmed fact he tries to redistribute. 

***

Let me tell you; When Sylvia says she will tell you something, she does. During lunch, when we are seated together, Zander, Charlie, Sylvia and I, her cringy behaviour alone drills a hole in my head.

"He's the one for me, I just know it."

Being the rational one, Charlie sees this as his opportunity to knock a few facts in her head. "Only 54% of teenagers who marry their high school sweetheart have a chance of having a 10 years lasting relationship."

Sylvia slowly lifts her head. Her nose scrunches in disgust. "What is he saying?"

My other best friend's hands immediately go up in the air. "I legit have no idea."

I, on the other hand, quietly stab my salad. It doesn't even taste right. Dani's reaction earlier today really surprised me, but what was I thinking? Her personality is more dynamic than mine – what else could I have expected? She's 15, I've been putting too much pressure on her.

"Avena, tell him to shut up. What the fuck is he saying?" Sylvia complains clearly confused by whatever Charlie has said to her now.

Zander pinches his nose bridge. "Dear God", he whispers to himself, "why are you surrounding me with idiots?" I stiffle a laughter, while my phone vibrates in my pocket.

Who the heck could this be?

To my surprise it's Aiden. What the heck? When I try to reach him, he never answers his phone, but suddenly he's calling me. The tables are turning.

"Good day, Avena", he chirps making my heart beat a little bit steady. "Are you enjoying your lunch?"

"Yes, I am. Did you call to ask about that?"

Aiden's voice hasn't been this cheerful in a long time. "Do you know when Dani comes back home from school?"

"Comes back?" I repeat to be sure I heard him the first time. He makes a 'mhm' sound. "She should have been home by now."

"Really? She isn't at home. Is she maybe visiting a friend? She isn't answering her phone either."

"Wait, what do you mean she's not at home?"

We agree on that he will call me again, if she doesn't arrive in about half an hour. When lunch ends I still haven't heard from Aiden.

"I'm totally for it!" Zander cheers. Oh god. By the look of Charlie's face he isn't very proud of the choices our good friend, Sylvia, will be making. While Charlie uses his head, before he says anything, Zander on the other hand blurts out whatever he has in mind. Kind of like Sylvia, but compared to her even Zander has morals.

By simply waving at them I leave the table. Although I might seem calm on the outside, I'm freaking out on the inside. Aiden doesn't know Dani like I do. That's why he isn't panicking.

She didn't even take her medicine today. I forgot to remind her, and we all know that she doesn't take her medicine, unless we remind her of doing so.

I sure do look like a hobo, where I'm standing with a schoolbag in one hand, and a jacket loosely hanging on one shoulder. With my mind floating everywhere, I don't notice that I'm walking on red light, until an ear screeching sound steals all my focus.

"Are you crazy?"

Looking up a pair of electric eyes meet mine. "Oatmeal", he states, "we meet again."

Let's make a deal; If I don't update every other week, then just kindly remind me to update.  As things are now, I will be on vacation for the whole summer, soooo I should at least try to update more often.

I've also published a new book called Gang Leader's Vengeance, and I've prewritten about 25% of the book, so the updates should be more frequent. It's on my profile  @bizzlerazzle  - so check it out if you want to :)

PICTURE OF AIDEN ON THE MULTIMEDIA SECTION

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