I'll make these Author's Notes short, I wanna get to writing some depressing shit, so bear with me here Kittens.

Thank YOU for noticing this book with crying Nico as a cover. Special thanks to Gilliannepeck for writing such awesomeness, and continueing to write.

Gilli is here, but I'm still going over what I think she looks like.... Brunetes are freaking awesome. Such pretty hair.... ;-; I ruined my hair by dying it navy blue. *Looks away* I loved blue at the time, ok!? 

OK, shitty A/N is over Kittens, now read please.

~Percy's POV~ 

Its been a while since I've been in that little town I lived in with my heart's lost lover. Truth is though, he wasnt lost at all, he lives in that house his stepmother had owned previously with his sister Hazel, her boyfriend Frank, and our children, Willow and Caleb. He's been getting by fine, doing his usual job, coming home and playing with the kids, Annie watches the kids fairly often, Jason and Leo were on a vacation out in the middle of the pacific.

Hazel, Frank, Jason, Leo, Annie, and Piper are trying very hard to get me and Nico back together, but I've given up. I tried for two years to get him back, to love me again. But his voice repeats the words:

"I will never stop loving you, Percy, but I cant marry you."

I choke up and slam my head against the cool tile wall of the bathroom. If your wondering where I am, I'm in the bathroom, my legs bent in an awkward posision, they've both gone numb though, I have my bruised forehead against the tile wall, my hands curled into fists, pressing against my thighs as I struggled to stop crying.

Its been a repetative occurence, 1 pm, my throat gets a lump I cant swallow down, my eyes start to sting and I cant stop from bawling after a minute past 1:01. So I have aproximately one minute to slip into a bathroom every day at 1. The weird crying thing goes away at 1:59. A minute before 6.

When Caleb and Willow come over for me to take care of them for two days, Wensday and Thursday, then they go back to Nico for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. I offered to take care of them more, but he brushed it off and said he was fine with it.

I closed by eyes and exhaled sloppily, my breath quivering softly. The biggest mistake of my life flashed through my mind

I shoved Nico against my blue truck, he hissed through his teeth and held his left arm, he flinched and pulled himself off the car. Throwing a glare at me, I saw how far I stepped passed the line this time.

I hurt him. I hurt him when I promised I would never do that. Why did I do that? Why..... Why did I hurt my King? I tightened my grip on the ring in my hand, a black silver ring with dark blue saphires incrested into the metal.

The stones dug into my skin, I already had cuts on my palms from not thinking, so the ring reopened the wounds and I felt the relaxing warmth leak into the small dips of my fingers. I felt a single drop fall onto the ground, the dark crimson blood stood in contrast to the white tile. I looked at it, and thought.

But of course, my thoughts were interupted by a knock. Then two. Another. I stood up and walked to the door, stubbing my toe on the coffie table. I cussed and opened the door, there, standing at my door, stood non other then Nico Di Angelo. 

He had grown since he was 21, since we broke up. His hair was still the same, the obsidian black that was messy like he just rolled out of bed, his fair skin neatly dusted with freckles, his dark brown eyes like melted chocolate, he'd gotten taller, his body still slender, but built to an extent he could hurt someone badly. His clothes hung off his body, a black teeshirt and baggy bluejeans.

"Hey." I breathed, it was always a relief to see him, it made my heart skip a beat and miss ever other beat for a few seconds before beating 70 miles perhour.

Nico looked up at me, his face like a mask, emotionless. He looked up at me with those beautiful chocolaty eyes and said "Hey Perce. I need to talk to you."

My heart fluttered and I thought This is it, he's going to forgive me, he's going to let me back in! I'm an idiot. I nodded "Sure, do you want to come in?" I asked,

He shook his head and kicked the welcome mat, two years. I missed two years of our marriage, because I hurt him, I wasted two years of my life without him, without my King. "I can stay out here."

I knit my eyebrows, he looked up at me, and sucked in a sharp breath. "I'm not here to talk to you about us, I'm going to ask you if your fine with the kids being looked after a friend of mine."

I looked down, my heart sinking into my stomach, great, now I feel like I'm going to barf. I let my eyes wander up Nico's toned body, as he looked at me expecting an answer

"I dont mind watching them." I said

Nico shook his head, "No Percy, you have work, and I have work, my friend is good with kids. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you, and clarify that your not dead." He turned and started walking down the hallway "Have a nice day Percy." He called out behind him, leaving me at the door, glaring at the ground, wishing I could muster up the courage to call out to him, to beg again, to plead for him to take me back.

Oh god I want him back.... But that wont happen anytime will it? Of course not you dumbass! What a nice subconsious, theres a big pile of shut your nonexistingface over there, please go get it, thanks.

I need a phyciatrist, bad.

~Nico's POV~ 

Wow. It took me that long to talk to him? A week. A week to tell him his kids are being watched by a coffee-friend of mine, sweet girl, but um..... she has a lot of jobs. I had warred with myself to just run down the hall like a ninja, speeding down the hall and out the front door to get away from my ex-fiancé.

God I need help. Is the stress going to my head? I mean, taking care of the kids is hard stuff, they're very complicated. And it didnt help that Leo told me that kids were like the exact oposite of machines, they were unpredictable, and uncontrollable..... well most of the time.

I drive to the house, there, sitting on the side of the roof, their legs dangling off the side, were my kids, between them, her arms drapped over their shoulders, Gilli, my kids' nanny.

"Hi Dada!!" Willow and Caleb yelled in sync, Gilli waved "Welcome back Nico!" She called down to me.

I looked up at them quizicly "How'd you get up there?" I wondered aloud. Willow giggled, and Caleb looked freaked out. Oh yeah, afraid of hights.... "Hey Gilli?" I called up

The nanny smiled, she's an odd girl, I must admit, she loves to wear these shirts that always have the word 'Fandom' on it she always wears different colored shoes, with mixed up socks, and normaly has her pixie-cut-grown-out dark brown hair tied up into a small ponytail, her hair has noticable sundied bonde streaks. She has olive tanned skin, that went somewhat paler after staying indoors for a while, she is around 5'6 or 5'7. But I think the strangest thing about her is how her eyes are a dark misty greyish blue, with a hazel ring around the pupil.

I havent spent that much time noticing these facts about her looks, but its kinda hard for me to not see them, everything she wears brings them out. "Yes, Mr. di Angelo?" She asked sweetly. Her voice is one of those girl voices that has a lower octave, it makes people feel comfortable around, deffinately different from those girls with such a high voice it sounds like their squealing 24/7.

I went into the trunk and took out a paper bag filled with foods. "Can you get the kids downstairs.... safely?" I asked,

she laughed and got up, Caleb clinging to her arm for dear life "Sure thing." She said, the most devious amusement playing in her voice.

In under 2 minutes, they were downstairs, and I had unloaded all the food. Caleb and Willow attacked my legs with hugs. They've grown to just above my waist. Willow an inch taller than Caleb. But really, I now understand why some Australians say 'Ya lil anklebitter' because for a while, Willow did literaly bite my ankles. But that was only when I forgot to buy cereal.

"Dada!!" Willow squealed, trying desprately to latch onto me, but instead, only resulted in grabbing 1 and a 1/2 of my ass. I sighed and picked her up, putting her on the countertop. Caleb looked up at me with those big blue eyes, his dark brown hair was messy as hell. Like he just rolled out of bed, like Percy. I felt a pang of hurt in my chest, and I choked on a random sob from nowhere.

Gilli noticed and spoke up in my favor "Hey kids! Lets show your Dad what you made for him!" She said with a wide smile, Willow jumped down from the counter and ran with Caleb to Gilli, who brought them into another room.

With the back of my wrist, I wiped away a tear that had strayed from my eye. Ugh. I'm still crying over him. Yeah I get it, 'Dont be so stuborn Nico! It was an accident! Go back to Percy!'

Well you know what? I'm not being stuborn, I'm being careful. An accident is paying attention to something while not looking at the road and swerving to not hurt people, not hurting someone on purpose. I'll go back to Percy, when I can trust him again.

Willow and Caleb both had something in their small hands as they came into the livingroom. They were grinning ear to ear. Willow came up to me and stood on the tip of her toes, I mean seriously, that looked like a balerina move, I bent down and she put a necklace around my neck. I stood up and looked at it. It was half a heart, a light blue.

How the hell was this supposed to make me feel better? Jeez Gilli, weirdo. I smiled sadly at the heart, Caleb showed me the other side of the heart, black. Caleb and Willow smiled so big, it looked like their cheeks were going to split open "We're going to give this to Daddy!" Caleb explained, I nodded, damn it Nico di Angelo, dont you dare cry. Your freaking 23 you are not freakin crying. 

I smiled and nodded.

--

The kids lay on me, snorring softly, Willow's mouth is open, a small pool of drool collecting on my shirt. Gilli is watching some movie called the Croods. I havent been able to sleep that well recently, my dreams are too vivid, and guess what they're about.... if you guessed Percy, you're made a damn-good guess.

No, not like...... Percy hurting me, or anyone else.... It's kinda like.... well, think of it like this: A very 'active' dream. But after I wake up, all I remember is well, his face, his voice, his breath, his touch, and then bam! Surprise!! Junior's all excited.

And then I have to get up and go to the bathroom, its ubnoctious!! I shouldn't have to get out of my warm bed at 3 in the morning, with a friend demanding attention. Its terrible!! My bed need's a friend too! Ugh, and I mean, seriously, over Percy? Why...... You dont think that maybe..... I dont know, maybe I still want him.... Well no shit, I do want him, but I cant 'marry' him.....

God, its at these painful times I want to go to the bathroom and comfront the blade. I mean, I havent dated, or seen anyone else since.... Since Percy.  Yeah you heard me! I havent gotten any of it since Percy! Shut your face and deal with it!

I sat up slowly moving the kids off of me and layering the blankets on their small unconsious bodies. I rubbed the drool splotch with my palm to make it go away.

But alas, the drool is unbeatable.

I need someone to talk to about this stuff....

--

Grabbing my bag, I headed out the door, the kids were already dropped off at their preschool, and I was off to do stuff. I had a day off today. 'Its a treat, you need some time to yourself di Angelo.' My Boss had said, he's a nice guy, always nice to me and the other employees.

Getting in the car, I drove by the directions on my phone. "Take a left at Bootywaggin st." Seri said. I let my eyes look at the phone, Bootywaggin st is a real place. Amazing. I kept driving, "Keep driving up McCass st for a quarter mile before turning right at Royalfaq dr." I stopped at the stop-sign and waited for an old lady to walk across the street. I looked at my phone, there's a street called Royalfaq? And McCass? WHAT?!

I continued to drive until Seri gave me the last set of directions. "Drive up QurUFunas to House 1420 on your right." What the- "You have reached your destination." I looked over to my right, a huge, house that took up three house-plots was casting shadows on the street, the place looked like a hospital or an asylum.

I parked my car and got out, walking into the place and stopping that the front desk "Are you mister.... Nico di Angelo?" the woman asked, I nodded, and she smiled "Can you wait for a few minutes sir? Your phyciatrist will be right out."

Ok, so this place wasnt as 'bad' as a hospital or an asylum, the floor was covered with beige carpet, the walls were a soft brown with tons of paintings up. There were tons of doors up, with two chairs waiting outside for each door. Kids, around 4-6 were sitting on the floor, playing with cars or dolls, or drawing.

I sat down and pulled out my phone, sitting next to a person wearing a teal blue sweater, hood pulled over his head, hiding his face. He wore loose blue jeans, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

I decided to not talk to him and just look around on facebook at all my friends. Everyone was on, but Percy. Typical. Jeez, what's with this guy, why does he get to mope around? I tapped on his icon and I was directed to his page, scrolling around, I saw nothing that eventful happened since our put-off wedding.

The guy next to me noticed what I was looking at, his face was hidden in shadows, but I could see his eyes glinting from the sunlight, they were wide with surprise "Nico!?"

I looked at him weird, this guys voice sounded veaugely familiar. "Do I know you from somewhere?" I asked, leaning closer to see him better, I shouldn't have left my glasses at home.

He leaned away and shook his head violently "Um....... We went to the same school..... I'm Jackson" He said.

I thought about it, but I couldent remember much about the name Jackson. What's his last name? Maybe I'd remember him better if I took off his hood. I shrugged it off and said "Oh cool, um, why are you here?" I asked

He faced forewards and said softly "I've got some... relationship issues. You?"

I sighed and looked foreward too, watching the kids "Past stuff." I said simply.

One door opened and I heard my name called "Mister di Angelo?" That voice sounds all too familiar.... everyones voice sounds familiar today, is there something wrong with my ears?

I got up and said "See ya around Jackson?" I asked, the guy nodded and I left.

--

"GILLI!?" I yelled as the door was closed.

Gilli looked up at me and squinted, "Oh hey Nico!! I didnt know it was you.... I guess I shoulda known, your last name is really unique..... I forgot to tell you!" She exclaimed, face-palming "I'm a phycologist! Baby-sitting's just my hobby." She said smiling widely.

She sat us down "Ok, enough of that, why are you here?"

I sighed, "I guess.... Well, I cant get over Percy... What should I do about that?"

She laughed, and I looked at her like she was nuts... she probably is. "Then comfront him. Try to 'get along' as friends or something, not as ex's." She smiled and looked at me with those blue-ish grey-ish eyes. "Connect again."