I put the beads in a little box and held it tightly in my hands. I stared at it for awhile and put it in the drawer.

I plopped myself onto my bed and closed my eyes.

"And Jungkook, I did love you"

I ran my fingers through my hair from frustration. Is it weird to say that I didn't like it when he said that.

Everyone wants me to leave Tae alone..but I can't. If I want him back with us, then I have to do something, right?

I want Tae back. I want to see his smile everyday again, I want to hear his laugh again, I want him to run up to me with so much happiness again.

I covered my eyes with my arm. I felt the tears coming down again. I didn't care about wiping them away anymore.

"Tae..", I said through tears.

I miss you..I want you back with us..with me. I promise I'll give you attention, I promise I'll make you happy, I promise I won't ever treat you badly again.

I'll admit it...I do have feelings for you. You're the first person that I ever had these type of feelings towards to. You're special, you're special to the others..you're special to us..you're special to me.

I'm really sorry that I treated you badly. I wish you would love me again. I wish one day you'll come to me and say you love me.

That would make my whole life so much happier..but that isn't going to happen..because I made you hate me, I made you not want to see me anymore, I made you leave from us..and that's what I wanted..now I regret it.

I regret it so much that I'm suffering. I'm suffering because you're not here. You're not here to comfort me like how you used to, but I pushed you away.

I just hope you don't fall in love with someone else. I hope you still love me at least. If I see you holding hands with someone else, kissing and hugging someone else..that would make my life a living nightmare.

I wish I can talk to you about this..but it's hard for me to express my feelings.

I grabbed my phone and unlocked it. I went into my contacts and pressed on a certain number.

"Hello?"

"I miss you Tae"