A/N: This chapter contains the character having unwanted thoughts such as suicidal ones, including slight self-harm. If you are sensitive to it or it bothers you, I suggest you skip until it's over. I want you guys to be okay. Thank you

(2239 words)
________________________

March 13, 2019

Sweat dribbled down his forehead as he rolled off the girl to the empty space beside her, panting vigorously. His mane of light brown hair was stuck to his sweaty forehead, making him extremely more attractive.

She was so fucking lucky to have claimed him for he was beautiful, gorgeous. Everybody wanted him for what he had to offer: his body of a god and the fame of a celebrity.

But he chose her to be with. He would only stay loyal to her, only give her his all, only be hers.

The thought always gave her a sense of pride, especially after intimate moments like these. She was the only one allowed to touch him, kiss him, and make love to him. It felt... nice... knowing this.

In the hot room, they stayed in silence, their heavy pants being the only noise that surrounded the couple. None of them moved but stared at the plain ceiling.

"Get going." The girl turned to look at him. "My mom will be here soon," the boy flatly informed her.

Liar. Your mother doesn't come home until 11. But she never says that.

She didn't say anything as she quickly pulled her underwear up and her pants on. Nothing came out in questioning the boy's indifferent words.

He was cold; everyone knew it. Heartless, selfish, slut, freak were words always directed at him. He was a house that rarely opened its gates.

The girl was lucky, very lucky indeed.

The boy didn't bat an eye at her as she pulled on her wrinkled shirt, adjusting it. The lifeless eyes she saw as she couldn't look away from the beautiful human.

She wished to dive deeper into his waters but it was shallow. Too shallow to just give up and return to the shore.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she mumbles, running her hand through her messy hair as she exits through the bedroom door.

After seconds filled with the sounds of cars passing by, Taehyung sat up. He found the shirt he was previously wearing before the girl came over on the dull carpet. Slipping it over his head, he sighed with an empty mind.

Her taste still lingered in his mouth. Disgusting. That's all he felt at that moment: disgusted.

Disgusted by the touches, the kisses... the moment.

He hated it. He always hated it.

Taehyung stood from his bed. A tired sigh escaped his lips as he began to strip the white sheets from his hand-me-down queen-sized bed.

He walked sluggishly to the laundry room downstairs with the sheets in hand. After throwing the dirty sheets in the washer, Taehyung poured the liquid detergent in the main wash compartment and the fabric softener in the other compartment.

As he set the washer up, the feeling he despised began to creep on him. Shame.

And the sudden urge to hurt himself began to grow.

But he promised. He promised himself he would stop. Yet, every time he repeats those words in his head, he ends up surrendering.

Promises are meant to be broken, aren't they?

No. A shower, he thinks. A warm shower will help relax his nerves.

Taehyung lets the washer clean his sheets, heading upstairs to his bedroom. Once he grabbed the attire he'd sleep in, he headed to the bathroom. He let the water run from the shower as he stripped his clothes. Once he felt satisfied with the water's warm temperature, he stepped in and closed the curtains.

Taehyung shampooed and conditioned his soft hair. Like he wanted, he got his soothing shower... until he grabbed the sponge.

The white, soapy lather formed as he scrubbed the yellow sponge against his skin. His mind began to overflow with unwanted thoughts that Taehyung found himself scrubbing harder.

And harder.

And harder as the voices got louder.

You're disgusting! You cold fucking bitch! What a fucking slut! Why do you even try? Just die! Everyone would be happier! You don't deserve shit you fucker!

Ow! It burns!

Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts seeing the red skin on his arms, legs, and chest when the warm water hit them. He hissed, dropping the sponge and turning off the water.

It still burns.

And then, he cries, dropping himself on the wet floor in the shower. Naked and weak, he felt cold and helpless.

Not numb like before but... lonely. He was so alone.

Taehyung cried in the bathroom, every now and then whispering sweet words to himself, yet the demons in his head caused him to doubt whatever he told himself.

Eventually, the numbness returned.

Taehyung dried and dressed with his head hanging low. Even if the burns still hurt, he did his best to ignore the pain. The boy brushed his teeth harshly as the disgusting feeling returned. He refused to look at himself in the mirror.

Afterward, he headed back to his bedroom with tired eyes, spotting the plain mattress in front of him. Taehyung didn't even care; he was too tired to care.

Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he turned it on to be greeted by notifications from Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram. Most of them were private messages that he didn't feel like opening. More than likely, he knew what they were about.

Out of boredom, Taehyung unlocked his phone and clicked on Instagram. He scrolled through his line of messages yet never opened them. His assumptions proved to be right.

"Meet me..."

"You busy..."

"Want to come..."

But one message catches his eye.

"Hi. This is Park Jimin..."

Park Jimin. A beautiful name Taehyung hasn't heard in years.

And just by that name, all his numbness, disgust, and shame vanished into shock. Excited, he opens the message. 

jkGCFoffical
Hi. This is Park Jimin. I don't know
if you remember me but we went to
elementary and middle school
together. We met like in 3rd grade at
lunch, we had 5 classes together in
6th, 6 in 7th, and 3 in 8th. I don't know
if that rings any bells. Anyway I
wanted to tell you that I miss you and I
hope you're doing well. I want to keep
in contact with you so if you want to too,
my number is ********** since the
account I'm using to message you now is
not mine, but my friend's since I don't
have Instagram.

The message was sent 2 weeks ago.

Taehyung wasted no time adding the number to his contacts, sending a quick "hi. this is kim taehyung from school😁"

He didn't even notice the giddy smile on his face.

Jiminie🌺
Hey! How have you been?

________________________

February 25, 2019

"Friendship, can I borrow your phone?"

Jeongguk doesn't bother looking up at his best friend in front of him. "Why? You have your own in your hands."

Shit, he missed a note on the stupid piano game. Jimin is going to have to pay for that later.

"No, yeah I know but," Jimin ignored Jeongguk's annoyed tisk. "You know how I don't have Instagram?"

Jeongguk hummed in response, keeping all his focus on the game as the song almost finished.

"Well, remember how I told you about my friend, Yoongi, and how he was going to send me my old friend's Instagram?" Jimin continued, setting his phone down to look at Jeongguk, who was too busy focusing on his game. Still, Jimin could tell he was listening.

The boy hummed again.

"Well he sent it to me today so... can I borrow your Instagram?"

Just as soon as the question was asked, Jeongguk finished the level, completing it with 2 golden stars. He rolled his eyes in annoyance then turned to look at his best friend's hesitant eyes. Jeongguk exited the game and closed the tab, handing Jimin his phone.

"Sure."

Jimin returned a quiet "thank you" and he clicked on the colorful Instagram app located right on the home screen. He directly clicked the search bar, typing in the username from Yoongi's earlier message. Once he saw the familiar profile pick and scanned the account, he concluded he had found it, since some pictures that he remembers seeing 2 years ago were still there.

He clicked on the 3 dots in the right corner, selecting "Send message".

Then he just froze.

Because as soon as he realized that by just one message, everything would change.

It's funny really, Jeongguk was there in front of him, supporting him all the while, everyone in the classroom was working on their own thing, and Jimin was there, having major doubts.

He's thought about it a lot for the past year. If I had the chance to talk to Taehyung again, would I be okay taking it?

A part of him didn't want to get hurt again, yet when he asked Jeongguk his opinion, Jeongguk mentioned how people changed. Maybe Taehyung changed? Maybe he was happier now.

Fuck it. He misses him.

jkGCFoffical
Hi. This is Park Jimin|

Simple and easy.

Now what?

Shit, does he even remember Jimin? However, people say that if you dream of a person, it's because they're thinking of you.

Actually, Jimin's dreams have been the same for the past nights.

It would take place in a theater, an amusement park, his old school, or even his current high school. Different beginnings but same ending: a reunion with Taehyung.

To Jimin, it was a sign. Perhaps, once he talks to him again, the dreams would stop.

jkGCFoffical
Hi. This is Park Jimin. I don't know
if you remember me but we went to
elementary and middle school
together|

Yeah that seems good.

"Gukie, what else should I put?" Jimin asked, facing the phone's screen so he could read it.

"I don't know. Maybe like... remind him of who you are. Like, put your teachers' names or like a memory. Something like that," he advised, receiving a nod from Jimin.

Jimin thought about it for a second before deciding to type, 

jkGCFoffical
Hi. This is Park Jimin. I don't know
if you remember me but we went to
elementary and middle school
together. We met like in 3rd grade at
lunch, we had 5 classes together in
6th, 6 in 7th, and 3 in 8th. I don't know
if that rings any bells|

Now to get to the point.

jkGCFoffical
Hi. This is Park Jimin. I don't know
if you remember me but we went to
elementary and middle school
together. We met like in 3rd grade at
lunch, we had 5 classes together in
6th, 6 in 7th, and 3 in 8th. I don't know
if that rings any bells. Anyway I
wanted to tell you that I miss you and I
hope you're doing well. I want to keep
in contact with you so if you want to too,
my number is ********** since the
account I'm using to message you now is
not mine, but my friend's since I don't
have Instagram|

Jimin handed the phone to Jeongguk so he could revise the message. Once Jeongguk read it and nodded in approval, with an accelerating heartbeat, Jimin sent it.

Now to wait. Although Jimin was impatient, he needed to stay calm.

But how could he when he's literally been waiting years for this moment.

Then why doesn't he feel as excited as he should be?

He brushed off his thoughts, seeing Jeongguk go back to playing his game. Jimin retrieved his phone, continuing to read his story.

His heartbeat didn't calm down until eventually, he forgot.

And eventually, Jimin did forget about the message until 2 weeks later.

As soon as he entered back, Jeongguk's call of his name caught his attention.

"Your friend messaged back," he said.

"Which friend?" It didn't click at first but soon, Jimin's eyes and mouth were wide in shock. "Oh!" he exclaimed, immediately wanting to snatch Jeongguk's phone from his hand. Thankfully, Jeongguk was ready to give the device to him.

taetaebear.1230
hi!!! yes of course i remember you!!! i
sent you a message. hopefully you got it.
i would love to stay in touch!!💕💕

Jimin smiled reading the message. He handed back Jeongguk's phone, searching through his bag for his own. When he turned it on, there was no message on his phone screen, not even when he went to check his recent messages. Again, he asked for Jeongguk's phone to review Taehyung's message only to discover he typed his number wrong.

Jimin felt like such an idiot. Jeongguk laughed at his friend for his mistake, making Jimin shove him to stop.

Embarrassed, Jimin began to type.

jkGCFoffical
Hey. So I accidentally typed my
number wrong. It's actually
********** Sorry about that.

To be honest, from that moment on, everything becomes a blur.

Jimin doesn't remember when Taehyung texted the right number but he eventually did. Jimin doesn't remember what Taehyung messaged him but he knew it led to more conversations.

And in all honesty, Jimin doesn't remember what he felt at that moment.

Yet, he got what he wanted for years.

But he was still unsure whether Taehyung was something he needed.

________________________

A/N: Heavily unedited chapter but I wanted to publish it now since I have been blessed with a spark of motivation lately.😌😁I hope everyone is having a good day💖💖