"Hi."

Leah looked over her shoulder.

She hadn't moved since Tom left because she had fallen into a world of her own where every new piece of ground gave her something else to consider. If it hadn't been for the rasp in Steven's voice, she would never have noticed she had company.

"Hi," Leah returned.

The tighter fit made him look slimmer than he naturally was, but because he had his left hand pressed to his chest, there was a subtle hint of toning in his arm, and it revealed the flames of his tattoo.

Steven cleared his throat, probably to soothe the scratch, and ran that same palm over his collarbone.

"Do you want me to sit down or...?"

"Yes sit, please," Leah responded quickly, ironically doing the opposite and standing up.

It was for a reason, but when Steven was making his way over, pesky nerves appeared. She didn't know why she felt the pressure when she knew he would listen, but until she actually started the talking part, the anticipation was a beast to handle.

She got a hold of herself though, disposing of her empty mug that had been her plan before Steven sat down, and then disappeared into one of the deep cupboards to rustle around for a red packet in a multi bag. She found one, and threw it onto the kitchen island with a satisfying slap.

"Chips?"

"Crisps," she corrected, reclaiming her seat. It was only then that she realised they were in exactly the same arrangement as last time, and it did nothing to promote her confidence.

"I've been-"

"I don't-"

Neither did the stop-start of her speech.

Steven looked up at the same time, picking the packet with his fingertips.

"Can I go first?"

"Sure," Leah said, pulling at her sleeves in her lap.

"I uh, don't want to have to say this, because I don't think I deserved what you did for me...but thank you, for earlier. I've never um, never had that happen before."

Remembering the tremble of his hands, the strain of each breath that pooled from his rapidly rising chest, Leah had never seen a man so scared, and so lost in a cycle of panic.

She didn't want to let him go, not when Steven was begging her not to leave with a lost longing in his eyes. Because she saw this young man who was desperately in need of help, but was too frightened of hurting someone to let anyone near him.

"You don't need to thank me," Leah said, resisting the urge to touch his hand.

"But I couldn't have done it without you." Steven's adamance fled the moment he met her eyes. "That's what I'm saying- trying to say, so...thank you."

It was a strength Steven probably didn't even know he had, but it was so obvious when he spoke from his heart. He was very good at finding ways to avoid it, but nothing had reached the four chambers of his good will.

"I'm not angry with you." Leah wrung out her fingers that were engulfed by the sleeves of her jumper. "I don't think I can be, which is crazy, because I feel like I should. The more I think about things, the more I realise that if I didn't know what was going on, how on earth were you supposed to know? You walked into the unknown and it just so happened I was there and got caught up in it too. So, I can't believe I'm going to say this...but you might have saved me."

If it wasn't for the vicious rain storm that now pounded against the panes of the windows, Leah would have been waiting in a searing silence, because Steven wasn't close to saying anything.

The blinks on her, the part of his lips; she could see his brain trying to absorb what had been said, and she had to mentally prepare herself to explain, because she couldn't just skip over such a bold statement that could undermine his guilt ridden conscience.

Leah dragged a restless hand through her hair, and settled forward on her arms.

"The whole gambling ordeal with my grandpa sort of makes sense. His brother, my great uncle, died suddenly a couple of years ago with no underlying cause. At the time, I didn't think twice about pressuring what had happened because it was upsetting, but fairly recently, maybe...Christmas time, I overheard my grandpa talking about his brother and a debt. I didn't get much, because I was very uncomfortable eavesdropping, but I remember he sounded agitated on the phone.

"Then, skipping to the night of the party, he really was strange. I don't think I saw him at all and he's usually glued to my grandma's side... Something big must have happened to steal his attention, maybe something like money. My point is, you might have saved me from being ripped apart by bullets. The knock on the head wasn't exactly appreciated, along with everything that followed, but at least my memory loss wasn't permanent."

"Why are you saying this?"

The lack of care surprised her. The speed of delivery after her explanation too.

"I-I've had a lot of time to think."

"No," Steven objected, dropping his hands flat. His fingers splayed on the marble surface. "Why are you trying to help me after everything I've done to you?"

Leah tried to further her point, but when Steven was looking at her with a pleading heart, it ached to look back over his ashen features.

"You should really just go." Clipped with sadness. Subdued with honesty. "Please, don't let me ruin your life anymore than I have."

In response, Leah outstretched her closest hand, displaying it close to his. The surface was cool underneath her palm, and she could tell Steven noticed.

"You didn't deserve to lose what you did." The hurt clouded right in front of her again, glazing his weeping brown eyes, and it was a sight that was beginning to have more of an impact on her than she wanted to admit. "I don't care what happened, how much trouble you were in, but to take your daughter away from you was wrong."

The urge to wrap him up in a hug was almost overwhelming, and Leah could almost feel the subtle heat of his body drawing her in, and the gap between their fingertips depleting.

"Yeah, you've done a lot of shit but so has everyone. Probably not to the same extent, but no one is perfect, Steven. You need to stop punishing yourself for the things you can't change."

Because he was. He was hurting himself, every single second of every day.

"But you, Leah. You don't deserve to be here...with me."

His voice cracked at the end, and Leah thought he was going to start crying.

All she had to do was stand up, and wrap her arms around his shoulders. She could pull him close, lean down, brush her nose in his hair and find out what shampoo he used, and bravely touch the side of his face. She wondered if he would relax then and tentatively hold her back.

"I think I'm in this with you, whether I like it or not, and whether you like it or not," Leah said, dismissing the opportunity to leave. "So, you can start by taking me off your list of mistakes, and focus on what you really need."

Like earlier, it was just the sound of the rain to tie them together.

Steven was the one to look away, but it was to correct his hunched posture with a hand to his stomach. He looked like he was going to be sick, but the nausea seemed to pass, and he settled with his head in his hands.

Leah could swallow the sudden panic safely knowing she wouldn't have to soothe him through another episode of his withdrawal symptoms. She saw the untouched packet of crisps that had been pushed to the side, and tried not to let out a pained sigh.

"I'll do anything to hold my little girl in my arms again," Steven whimpered, tugging the loops of his hair. "I just...I just want her back so bad."

"I know," Leah responded gently.

Steven revealed his face. His mouth drooped and threatened to quiver, eyes so ridiculously sad, but in that moment, there was an element of understanding between them. An acceptance that there couldn't be forgiveness at this stage, but there was a promise of change in the future.

"How long have you been standing there?" Leah asked, but it wasn't to the man she was looking at.

A fumble of feet had her looking over her shoulder.

"Whaddya mean?" Joey contested his innocence, and if it wasn't for the visible swat on his arm and the sudden scowl, she might have believed it

"Ow!"

"Idiot."

"You might as well come join." Leah leaned back, catching a glimpse of the rest of eavesdroppers. "All of you."

Hesitating, Joey made his appearance, cradling his arm, and as did Brad and Tom.

"What gave it away?" Tom asked, folding his arms.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Yeah-no...probably not."

It was funny watching three grown men silently bicker with each other, deliberately making as much space between each of them so they wouldn't be tempted to push and shove. There was still a hint of a disapproving scowl on Joey's face, but he'd stopped holding his arm.

"Anyway, it's sort of good you are here." Leah turned her attention back to Steven who had re-propped his elbows and covered his face with his hands. "Because I believe it's in all of your interests."

In a hope that it would entice his face into view, she waited a second, but the large hands remained slotted in place, and hid all of his thoughts from her.

"Alright, well we're listening," Brad offered supportively.

Disappointed, Leah pressed her mouth together, knowing her effort to get Steven to engage was in vain. At least she could address the others and hope that he was listening.

"I think I might be able to help you," she said, looking between the active members of her audience. "Brad, when you and Tom mentioned the possibility, I didn't really consider it at all, but a lot has changed in the last few hours. I might be far-fetched with some of the connections I have, but I can at least try."

"Are you sure? It was never my intention to pressure you into-"

"You haven't pressured me into anything, Brad. This is my decision, as insane as it is, " Leah asserted, until a swell of sadness hit her, and acted as a sore reminder that she was choosing this over her family. "Home isn't safe anymore, and I need to know why."

It was hard to accept, but it was true. The mess that had toppled over at home scared her, and knowing that it could have been unfolding for years in the background, added a whole new dimension of sickly fear.

"If it was up to me, I'd say yes." Tom smiled, the same modesty in the shrug he gave. "It's nice having you around."

"Yeah, me too," Brad agreed.

Joey's opinion was delayed. He was standing up, ankles crossed, and both hands braced behind him on a countertop.

"What are the conditions?"

"I...didn't really have any," Leah admitted.

"You gotta have conditions. It would be unfair otherwise."

Imposed to think, and with Steven's taunting presence to her left, Leah surprised herself when she found the perfect way to cheat the system. She figured she deserved it, though.

"My condition...is that I can add as many conditions as I want."

The lack of approval, or any sort of response, was actually something she thoroughly enjoyed. Joey was baffled, Tom looked impressed, though he tried to hide the smile, and Brad gave her a personal thumbs up.

If it wasn't for the much awaited voice, Leah could have sat there all day, basking in her quick wit, but she was relieved to know he had been listening after all.

"A little towards the cheating side..."

All eyes turned to Steven who was holding a hand out. It was obviously intended for her to shake, but Leah took her time deciphering the ambition in his eyes that had replaced a waterfall of sadness.

She revealed her hand to him, the delicate size of her own engulfed by his.

"But, you've got yourself a deal."

They shook, and let go.

"And I have my first condition."

Steven gave her the space to continue.

"You, Steven, start eating again," Leah stated, reaching over to the abandoned red packet and pushing it slowly in front of him with her fingertip. The nerves from earlier were nowhere to be seen. "And that is with immediate effect."

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