*Mature content*

Seven hours later:

Panicking was not how Steven imagined himself feeling since the positive start to the morning.

Once his family had arrived, he became engrossed helping Liv on her balance bike and manning the barbecue, and it meant he couldn't remember the last time he saw Leah, or rather, he couldn't decide if it was because he had gone too far squirting her with a water pistol, or if he had expressed his desire for marriage when Gio asked and she was in ear shot without realising.

Steven went back into the cabin to check, but Leah wasn't there, and then sat contemplating in a camping chair with Liv by his feet playing on the grass. There was a soft drink in hand, because he was continuing his stint of being alcohol free when possible, but with all the conversations and noise around him, he started getting antsy looking at his watch and every direction for signs of his girlfriend.

Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. He couldn't see her amongst his family, and as stupid as it was, he phoned her. It went straight to voicemail each time, and he later found her phone on the kitchen table when he went inside the house again.

As the afternoon dragged on and food was being served, so did Steven's worry. Heat pounded against the back of his neck, and his damp bandana had already warmed up again. If he didn't start asking, then someone was bound to start asking him, and he didn't want to ruin his daughter's third birthday by having a nervous breakdown that was probably completely unnecessary.

With Liv occupied, Steven spotted his father with an unfamiliar man standing and observing a classic Ferrari Dino in sport red, which was ironically Tom Hamilton's dream car.

With haste, he joined them on the gravel.

"Dad, have you seen Leah?"

"Oh, Steven! Great timing, this is-"

"A 74' Ferrari Dino, yeah I know. Tom would be fucking jealous if he was here because he's always wanted this exact model since his Uncle owned one."

Silence fell upon them. Swearing unnecessarily, mentioning a friend unnecessarily, boasting about car knowledge like he was an expert when he really wasn't. This poor guy had every right to think arrogance was his personality.

"Right, well, I meant this is Marty, the owner of the car," Victor said, picking up the awkward pieces. "He just moved here with his wife, couple houses past Trow."

Of course his father was going to introduce the human, not the car. Steven was such an idiot for letting his mouth move when his mind was elsewhere. So, filled with guilt for his rude impression, he stepped forward with his right hand outstretched.

"Hi Marty, sorry about that- Steven."

"Don't be, count me impressed- Marty," the guy replied, accepting his hand. "Your father tells me you're the voice behind Aerosmith."

"Uh yeah, yeah something like that. Dad, have you seen Leah? I need to speak to her."

Again, Steven was desperate for an answer, and couldn't hold a conversation for more than a few seconds.

"No, sorry, I haven't, but she-"

"Shit, shit, shit!"

"Steven! Let me fini-"

"Not now, dad!" He broke into a jog down the drive, yelling behind, "That's a beautiful set of wheels, Marty! See you around!"

How he didn't trip over his feet when he was heading to destination nowhere and in flip flops was a miracle, but for Steven, the only miracle he would accept was finding Leah.

It was stressing him out, the heat doing him no favours by making him sweat, but he felt a rush of relief, or hope, when he spotted his sister walking towards him from the harbour.

"Lynda!" Steven halted, small stones flicking under his heels. "Do you know where Leah is?"

"Oh, my dear brother! Good to see you too."

"Please, please not now."

"Okay, okay! Calm down, panic pants." Lynda replaced her initial humour with a concerned, raised hand.

"I am calm! I just need to know where my girlfriend is!"

Steven was not calm. In fact, he was restless, and impatience had him adjusting his bandana until he got so annoyed with it, he tugged it down his face.

"Fuck!"

When a passing couple on their way out of the Anchorage restaurant gave him a strange look at his flailing gestures, he groaned loudly, and slapped his hands onto the railing that overlooked the sleepy dock. He felt like crying as he hung his head, and he might well have collapsed there and then, if his sister didn't step in when he needed her.

"Steven." Stern and to his left. "Look past the boats, in the direction of the house."

Miserably, Steven followed the instructions, blinking hard to stop a welling tear. His brow furrowed hard, observing the few boats out in the water.

"You remember when we were kids and you dragged me along on one of your stupid adventures because you were so determined to find the place directly opposite the house?" Lynda rested her arms on the railing next to him, but she looked ahead, not at his piqued interest. "That's where Leah is. She wanted a quiet spot, so I showed her one."

Steven breathed out steadily, because he knew exactly where she meant. It was an old, unused dock in between the private ones, even older now, and he'd carved his initials into a post to mark his pointless territory.

For the first time in the last hour, the weight in his chest didn't feel so crushing.

"If you'd told me that first, you woulda saved me a lot of worry," he said, in a low voice.

"If you'd have let me instead of pulling your hair out, I might well have done." With her back against the rails, Lynda reached out to find the tie to his forgotten bandana. "Don't get yourself in such a state. It's not-"

"I thought she'd gone," Steven cut in, but he regretted the bitter flavour of the past. His frown softened once more. "And I...I just can't deal with that again."

The fingers poised close to his neck where the damp fabric resided on top of his necklaces, retreated.

"Leah loves you, Steven, and even though I haven't spent too much time with her, it's obvious she does. She's not going anywhere, and you need to stop thinking she will. Talk to her, or whatever, but just make sure you're both back for the birthday cake, yeah? I'll see you later."

Ambiguous, dismissive like his sister knew something he didn't, but Steven couldn't find the words for the right questions because he was left alone to sweat away in a recovery of stress and worry.

Squinting against the bright sun, he waited until he no longer thought his family getaway was judging his stupidity, and walked through the town's harbour without any further odd glances in his direction.

The surface under foot changed from planks of wood to gravel, to sand, and the earthy soil cut-through, gratefully under the shade of trees, was quite the terrain to master in a pair of flip flops.

Hands stuffed in his khaki shorts pockets, Steven calmed down when he saw Leah sitting on the end of the degraded dock that barely stretched more than a couple of metres into the water, with her pineapple flip flops behind her.

Twigs had snapped under his own where he had curled his toes so they wouldn't slip off on the descent from soil to solid ground, but thankfully, his presence on the creaky planks didn't make her jump.

"I thought you'd done a runner."

Steven made the greeting comment, humour forced, and regretted it as he sat down in the empty space beside her.

He copied the feet in water, placing his flip flops behind him as well, but the satisfaction from the cool temperature lapping against his shins only lasted a few seconds. Once more, his mood plummeted because Leah was too engrossed in what was happening straight ahead to look at him, and mindlessly smoothing her index finger over her thumbnail.

It was a nervous habit she had, and when Steven caught her, he saved her nails before they were nibbled to the bed. This time though, he didn't say anything. He just sucked in his stomach to quiet down his breathing from the anxious trek over, and swallowed his parched throat.

"You really can see the house from here, can't you?" Leah hadn't broken her gaze out across the beauty of the lake, and her hands remained comfortable in her lap.

Steven longed to take one and hold it, inspect the rest of her nails to see how long she'd been lost in her own thoughts, but he figured it was his time to listen, and his comfort could only play a role if it was consented.

He didn't want to make a wrong move.

"Yeah," he breathed out, sitting up straight to stretch out his back. "Yeah, you can."

Steven didn't bother looking to his right, because he knew he would end up apologising profusely and plead for forgiveness for something- anything he could ramble on about. It meant pointing out the carving of his initials on the only full remaining post, if his sister hadn't already, ended up drowning into the depths of the lake beyond.

Not even flicking out his feet to cause a cascade of ripples, disturbed the peaceful, yet deafening silence between them.

Returning to a slouch, Steven wondered how long he could bite down the words he wanted to say, so when Leah sighed, his attention was grabbed with the hope of communicative value.

Desperately searching eyes saw how the trees above them cast a serious shadow across her nose, and that her lips were trying to convey the precious problem he wanted to fix.

"I...need to tell you something."

As the understanding boyfriend he strived to be, Steven gave her the space to continue. Expression neutral, and he gave a small nod of encouragement to indicate he was listening.

Perhaps a track of his eyes further to the left and right where the wisps of Leah's braided hair escaped the tight style, or lingering when her neck tensed with an inhale would ease the anticipation, but he was waiting for the story behind the eyes that never ceased to fascinate him.

"Last night, when you went to get Liv her pyjamas, well she...said something, or tried to at least." Leah paused, but it wasn't to correct a stuttering. Her voice was ironed smooth and serious, until guilt scrunched up her eyebrows. "Shit, Steven, she was...she was trying to call me her mum, and-and she looked at me all...longingly, held my wrist and- I dunno! It just happened, and I'm so sorry. I thought I could forget about it, but I can't- I couldn't..."

Out of everything Steven had been contemplating, this was not on the list. He was frozen in stature and his continuous blinks, shallow drags of breaths through his nose, eventually deterred Leah to look away with a tight squeeze of her hands in her lap.

The lake was her escape this time, like it had served as his for many years.

"I told her it was just me- Leah- but I knew this would happen." A humoured breath of air escaped her, "But, the naïve part of me convinced myself that spending time with a toddler, living with her so she sees me everyday would be completely normal. Not confusing that she can call you her dad, but me...just my name."

Steven observed the blame that stiffened elegantly in her neck. From there, it was following the simple, plain white t-shirt- a reminder she was wearing one of his necklaces because it was visible over the top- a charcoal pair of denim shorts high on her waist, and the bracelet Liv had made her proudly on her left wrist like the similar anklet with beads and sparkly gems that kept appearing above the water.

The answer was there for him to take. He didn't have to let the past weigh him down.

"I think she should," Steven said, and the confidence strung out with every syllable. "As long as you're comfortable, I think she should."

"What?"

He expected the shock, which was why he had lifted his right leg up onto the dock, no longer robotically glued to the spot.

"You're so good with her, Leah, and she might not say it yet, but she loves you. She looks up to you, follows you around the house from the moment you get home from work, and you know that because when she jumps on our bed at the crack of dawn on a weekend, you are the chosen victim nine times outta ten."

Steven had a little smile as he spoke, picturing the regular occurrences back in Duxbury, but he tapered it inwards when he returned to expressing how genuine he felt about the topic of their family.

"Seeing you two together is one of my favourite things in the world," he continued. "And I can't tell you how much it means to me that you do what you do, day in, day out."

He forced himself to stop there, heart racing to spill, but he knew he had to tread carefully and importantly, only one step at a time. Because the uncertainty on Leah's face already told him he had reacted in a way she hadn't been expecting.

On the contrary, perhaps it was the perfect build-up to their future with kids of their own.

"So, you're not...angry?"

"No! No, darling of course not." Finally, Steven took her hand in both of his, shifting closer because he couldn't stand the distance between them. "Why would I be- how could I be angry, when it's everything I could ask for?"

Water sloshed as his right foot returned into the lake. Above, a flock of birds argued into the summer sky, but nothing in the picturesque scenery could compare to the moment Leah squeezed his hand back and gave him the most rewarding hint of a smile.

"We really are a little family, aren't we?"

The nerves swarmed like wildfire clamping his throat tight, but not because he disagreed, but because he didn't want the conversation to end.

"Would you-" The jump of his voice prevented her from leaning against his shoulder, and Steven suddenly felt like he had swallowed his tongue. "Um, whilst we're here, would you- I dunno, maybe like that family to...grow?"

He blew it. Majorly. Even as he spoke, he watched her face slowly fall. Embarrassed didn't come close to the heat that flushed in his ears.

"Steven..."

"O-or it doesn't have to be ki- what about a pet?" He backpedalled fast, retreating to his own personal space with a nervous swipe under his nose. "A dog? We could get a dog, yeah. A little yorkie terrier, or maybe a kitten! Or two! Hey, how about a cat and a-"

"Steven, just wait!" Leah placed her hand on his chest. He wouldn't be surprised if she could feel his heart pounding from the unscheduled rush of panic. "Are you saying you want kids with me?"

"No, some hooker down on forty second street."

Deemed vulnerable, humour was his coping method, but it wasn't his usual cheery type. This was the kind where there wasn't a twitch of a muscle in his cheeks that indicated a smile.

It was humiliatingly sarcastic.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't- time and a place, I know." Steven caught her hand before it dropped from his shirt and tentatively kissed her knuckles in apology. "But of course you, Leah. I'd love to have a baby with you."

Leah tugged her hand away, smoothing it on top of her hair. The lake was acting as the escape again.

"Don't joke like that. Please."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Mhm."

With a shaky breath, Steven followed her gaze outwards to the homes nestled between the thick rows of trees.

"I've just been thinking about kids so much lately, and every time I want to ask you, I just freeze up because I don't want it to seem like I'm expecting something from you, because I'm not at all. I want- no, I mean would like to know what your opinions are, and-"

Steven stopped mid-sentence. Even from the side, he knew that expression all too well. The cute dimple told the tale.

"Why're you smiling?"

Leah was fiddling with the tie on her bracelet, dipping her toes in the water.

"You ramble when you're nervous."

"Yeah, I mean, I have a big mouth. Sometimes the small words just fall out before I can think properly."

Evidently impressed, she tilted her head, eyes squinted when they landed on him.

"That's a strangely accurate analogy."

"I know," Steven agreed, sloshing a wave of water whilst holding onto the end planks of wood to propel his feet further. "I'm highly intelligent."

"Don't flatter yourself, Stevie."

There was a smile on his face again, one he had to bite down to stop himself from making another comment. The moment for the healing exchange of remarks arrived and passed, and once the lake had settled, it was back to the point in conversation.

Just this time, it was Leah to start it off.

"Before we left, however humiliating that day was and something I want to forget, I told my mum I wasn't ready for a family...You know, I actually thought about it a lot on the plane so thanks mum, but yeah, I figured you'd want to ask eventually- it's only natural. I guess I just didn't expect living with a child could make me consider what it would be like to have my own, because I hadn't really, well...ever thought about that before."

"Has it...changed your mind?"

Realistically, Steven probably shouldn't have chipped in with an assumption, but it didn't end up with him being pushed into the lake.

"Well, yes but I like how things are, a lot. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but the carefree sex, most of the time, the butterflies from the intimacy- all the best parts of being in a new relationship that I still get with you. We both have stable jobs, we've already committed to a beautiful home and we have Liv too, but I don't want us to lose our spark too soon."

Steven chucked, stretching out his back.

"If you're worried about my sex drive, you've got me in my prime for at least another fifteen, twenty years. My dick is loyal to you."

Leah was nodding slowly, fixed on the landscape scenery ahead.

"Just your penis?"

"Mhm, just my penis," he confirmed, leaning back on his palms. The pines and leafy canopy interrupting the sky encouraged his imagination spree. "I'll kiss other chicks if I'm bored, set a new record before each show, maayybe put my fingers to good use if I have to, but only you have the right to-"

The flickers of water droplets from feet appearing on the dock, and the hands that crumpled into his chest, quickly made for a position change. Something, once he had lifted his feet from the lake as well, and had pulled Leah comfortably onto his lap, Steven thoroughly approved of.

"I hate youuu!"

It was particularly unconvincing due to the whiny smile that she definitely didn't want, but apparently rocking his shoulders a few times was the solution to her strong distaste.

"I'm yours, cuore mio." Hands on her sides, Steven nudged her nose since she had resorted to holding his face as close as humanly possible to her own. "Only yours, because every part of me is so in love with you."

The temptation to kiss when their lips brushed and breathed, eyes flicked up and down, or react to the pressure in his crotch was there but Steven didn't, because there was so much more to love than turning it into sex every time.

Combining the two made a harmonious physical activity, and it was a talent that Steven was constantly mastering with the woman currently occupying his lap, but he had learned affection and appreciation and expressing his true love, was often thoughtfully portrayed through everyday acts of kindness and concern.

"Twenty years?" Leah was fiddling with his bandana. He knew she liked it when he wore the tie dye swirls and stains. "You'll be fifty three, I'll be forty eight and Liv will be twenty three."

Steven was smiling, all soft and endearing, as her thumbs pushed against his stretched lips.

"And our boy will be nineteen, and girl seventeen," he added proudly, not at all shrouded with regret for being so bold.

"Oh, so we're having two kids now?" Leah raised an inquisitive eyebrow- the left one in which he brought his thumb to smooth out the temporary arch, and then traced over the nick to her ear, down her cheek, all the way to the braid of her hair so he felt it through his fingertips.

"Yep, boy first and a girl two years later. Our very own flesh and blood."

A laugh dragged in Leah's throat as she leaned her head back, making the skin perfectly taught for marking, but Steven didn't react quick enough to bring his lips into play.

He would though. He was a force to be reckoned with when it came to turning her on.

"You know, I don't think that's how it works," Leah said, creasing the fabric of his shirt on his shoulders.

"Well, it is because my sperm knows their job." Smoothly, Steven bucked his hips up, squeezing hers, and the pressure was directed straight into his crotch. "And a boy will be first."

He was going to let himself get hard, having the audacity to smirk when his hands ventured underneath her t-shirt to pull her closer.

The jumpy gasp, and bare skin under his gliding fingertips until they settled on the connecting strap of her bra, did wonders to get him in the mood.

"Steven." It was a warning he chose to ignore. "We should really get back."

Having sat up straight, closing the gap between their chests, Steven hummed into her neck, experimenting with his tongue before he kissed a passionate mark. He'd already reclaimed a hand to try and undo the button on his shorts.

"Orrrr, we could have a little fun?"

Despite the clutch to his hair and the shaky breath when his cock was beginning to make an obvious strain directly in her pussy, he knew Leah needed persuading.

"If you're worried about the boats, they can't see us. No one can see us."

He'd undone her bra as he spoke, and he would be rubbing his hands in glee from the reaction if they weren't otherwise occupied.

"You little-"

"Would you look at that? Guess my fingers slipped."

Leah tried to hook it back, elbows stuck out with the awkward angle, but she couldn't do it. And on the calm end of the scales, Steven was tugging down the zip of his khaki shorts since he had been given the space to do so, forcing his palm into the gap to rub himself through his boxers.

Lips falling open with a quiet moan, he was being watched in shock, and each tenuous push with the base of palm made him harder without so much of a single kiss.

Leah didn't speak though, which made the experience more outrageous, and once satisfied with the boner poking through his pants, Steven let up.

"Tell me to stop," he mumbled, against her lips, and sank his teeth into the soft pink to pull it towards him. "Tell me you don't want me."

Not a word was spoken, but he could see it all in the fast track of eyes, and Steven glided his tongue where the indent of his teeth had been, and pushed into a kiss that was met halfway.

"This is the spark you love, isn't it?" He moved his hands up her t-shirt, bundling it at the front, and with her loose, white lace bra, nudged his nose to push the fabric upwards to take a nipple in his mouth.

"Oh my-"

"I don't think it's going anywhere, anytime soon."

That was the last thing he had to say to convince her, because where his tongue was drawing a wet map that aimed to discover the entirety of her chest, his cock was being pressured perfectly, and his face was being held up, away from his appealing task.

"Fuck me, Steven." Desperation. He liked it. "And make it quick."

It was Leah to kiss his smirk away once she realised he wasn't moving, but as soon as she did, he wrapped his arm protectively around her to keep her safe and close.

Fucking on an unused dock, risks of being seen, being poked by an old nail in the wood, but all adding to the fun of being in public.

Steven had a plan to get her on her back, keeping the majority of clothes on to minimise wasted time and lower the obvious factor that they were having sex. But kissing that was so heavily rushed was a challenge whilst he made it comfortable for them both, and for him, it involved kneeling on his flip flops to reduce the wood abrasions on his knees.

"Yes yes hang on, your majesty," Steven huffed, in the midst of being complained about for 'faffing', in her preferred terminology.

He'd positioned Leah on her back, undone the button on her shorts that he refused to let her push down any further, but had stopped the gentle nip and tug to take off his shirt so she could sit on it.

The things he did for her, like sacrificing his white shirt to the old, wooden planks.

"The fact it's sweaty too."

As she shuffled about, Steven's expression changed.

He pushed her knees wide, leaned forward to hook his fingers around her shorts, and the aggression involved in pulling them down had his nails grazing her thighs, and he caught her underwear with them.

Her pussy was a weakness, whether it was a taste, being able to gather wet on his finger, or to slicken up his cock- all of those feelings made him inexplicably horny.

There was more to sex, he knew that, but sometimes he wanted to show his true colours the way the man in him was programmed.

"Shut the fuck up whilst I fuck you," Steven growled. "I don't want to hear another word."

There was no fear in Leah's eyes when he concealed her body the best he could with the protective figure of his own. There wasn't a word when he dealt with his needy throbbing by burying his cock to the hilt. And there wasn't a last second change of mind that he was publicly fucking her in a situation that really was a grand step up from the ladies bathroom.

His bare back was clawed into, a heel landed somewhere near the base of his spine, and the race to finish gave him a new sweat to suffer, but Steven loved being dominant.

And from the outrageous reactions whenever he said something filthy in Leah's ear or tugged her lip between his teeth, he wasn't the only one.

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