Chapter 12
3 Weeks Until the Family Visit...
Summer in Paris was now fully underway, and even the though the city's London-adjacent climate meant a downpour could happen on any given day, the odds were good for those blue-sky days that were perfect for sunning on the riverbank.
And drinking copious amounts of rosé.
For Neela, hanging out with friends was a far better prospect than sitting on the kitchen floor drinking rosé straight from the bottle. Her spirits had definitely improved since the shock of her parents' news (mainly because avoidance was a helluva drug). As for the pressure of being engaged to a man who—lately at least—seemed frequently annoying and seldom dreamy?
It was just a phase. Wasn't it? It had to be.
Though the future was inconclusive, Neela made the most of this particular sunny day by relaxing on the river's edge with Chloe and a bottle of rosé.
It wasn't just the wine that was succeeding in distracting Neela, but also the fact that Chloe had some interesting news.
"I need to see it again," Neela said.
Chloe leaned back and soaked in the sun. "You are making too much of this."
"But you barely even showed me before!" she cried, before shifting gears to an innocent smile. "Please?"
Chloe picked her phone up off the ground but stopped short of passing it over. "It is imperative that you do not hit the 'like' button by accident."
Neela gasped. "I would never!"
Chloe nodded and finally handed over the phone.
Neela immediately began scrolling. It was hard to see in the sunlight's glare, so she pulled her sunglasses over her head for a clearer view.
A view of a sexy Asian's man Instagram.
"Hellooo Jinhai." That was all Neela could manage to say as she continued to scroll his feed. Well that, and: "Hot. Hot. Hot."
Chloe laughed and snatched the phone away. "Okay you have had enough!"
Neela gulped her wine like it was Gatorade after a run. "So when are you going to see him again?" she asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"All of the professors are having an apéro tomorrow," Chloe explained. "I suppose I will see him then." Her nonchalant vibe was cemented with a shrug.
Neela nodded in understanding. "Cool...cool." Suddenly she turned to face Chloe. "So would your family accept him if he didn't like foie gras? And vice versa for the relevant Cantonese delicacy?"
Chloe looked at her strangely. "Excuse me?"
Neela shifted nervously. "I just mean...he's from Hong Kong, and if he moves here for good and you guys get married...would a fusion menu be cool? Or would it have to be classical French?" She shrugged. "I was just wondering. Like as a hypothetical or whatever."
Chloe refilled their glasses with more rosé. "You need to relax."
Neela scoffed. "Me? I'm just worried about you here."
Chloe gave her a knowing smile.
"They will meet Luc, and they will love Luc. It is as simple as that."
Neela sighed. "Sure...right. Except..."
Chloe studied her expression. "What is it?"
"Are you worried that you and Jinhai won't have enough in common to get into a serious relationship?"
Chloe seemed anything but concerned. "That is not something I can determine until I have spent more time with him. Once you spend enough time...you end up knowing."
Her words were anything but comforting to Neela. "Yeah...after the right amount of time, I guess you do."
***
2 Weeks Until the Family Visit...
A bus rumbled along through a drab suburb. Inside, Neela and Dante sat side-by-side, riding off into the sunset so she would never have to deal with her parents visiting Paris and meeting Luc. The ultimate escape!
Well...not quite, but they definitely had an afternoon of escapism in store.
Dante's excitement for their big afternoon was hidden behind a look of frustration, a feeling that stemmed from whatever he was staring at on his phone. "Well, there it is, Maxime rescheduled again!"
Neela offered up a sympathetic smile. "You know how it is sometimes; businessmen that travel get busy!"
Dante shook his head. "Not that I've even recovered from the actual invite." He sneered. "I mean lunch? What am I his elderly aunt?!"
Neela suppressed a laugh and squeezed his shoulder in support. "Non-geriatrics do eat lunch."
He pushed her hand off his shoulder. "Just so you know, there used to be a time when I'd get all his Saturday nights."
"Do you think he could be seeing someone?"
She'd asked the question without a second thought, but if Dante's expression was any indication, the inquest was a little too real.
"So what if he is?" he snapped. "We were both seeing other people when we were hanging out, and let's say he ever does decide to be committed? It will only be because of me. And with me."
Neela took a moment before responding, and when she did respond she tried to be as delicate possible. "I'm not sure you can really control that..."
"Why not?" he said pointedly. "Wasn't Luc a major whore before you pinned him down?"
She frowned. "Gee...thanks for the reminder."
"What?" He finally smiled. "It's an accomplishment!" He added a hearty pat on the back, returning to his usual form. A moment later he glanced out the window and sighed. "Just watch, I'll be the next to make a man commit..."
"That's the spirit!" Neela said, barely hiding her skepticism. She could've called him out on his delusion, but it likely would've seemed just a bit hypocritical, given her three-piece luggage set of psychological issues.
"Things will work out for you as well," he declared.
Neela smirked. "Oh yeah?"
"Definitely," he said firmly. "Your parents will realize that they better accept Luc, since he's your last shot at a future that doesn't include being barren and alone."
She punched him in the arm even though she couldn't help but laugh. "Hey!"
"And..." he added, "we'll give Luc one of those memory procedures from 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'."
Neela sighed. "I love that movie." A moment later she frowned. "Wait what does that even mean? You wanna erase Luc's memory of me?"
He laughed. "No silly! I wanna erase his memory of Jason Derulo!"
They both began to laugh as the bus turned onto the off-ramp.
But first..." Dante added, rubbing his hands together excitedly, "first we've gotta deal with priorities."
Neela seemed unsure. "I hope this distraction works; I don't even need to buy anything."
"That's what everyone says before filing up a cart with essentials."
"I don't know," she said shaking her head. "Maybe we should've stuck with Sephora; like you don't even have enough kitchen space to buy in bulk! And we don't even have a car!"
He took her hand and harnessed all the power of his hypnotic stare to calm her down. "Neela, never overestimate the self-care effect of Kirkland products that are finally available in France."
***
They were twenty kilometers outside of Paris now, and it was official:
-France had gotten a big-box makeover.
From the massive parking lot to the oversized shopping carts, CostCo France was officially open for business.
***
Inside the warehouse of bulk-sized dreams, Neela and Dante pushed a cart through the electronics section, each aisle buzzing with surprisingly chatty French shoppers.
"Do we need a giant TV?" Neela asked, already in a trance. "Or some retina-display fake iPad thingys?"
Dante examined the items with consideration. "I mean...mayyyybeee?"
They slowly moved on to the cleaning product aisle, and even though it was one of the most mundane aisles in CostCo, it made Neela and Dante beam. They were nothing short of blissful now, as their inability to deal with their issues had now been validated with needless shopping. Avoidance: a helluva drug.
Dante heaved a giant tub of laundry detergent off the shelf. "God I've missed this." He launched it straight into the cart.
Neela looked from the cart to Dante and back to the cart, as her brain calculated the physics. "Um...how are we going to carry that with everything else?"
He smiled. "Relax, I have system."
"Alright..." She didn't really believe him, but it didn't matter. She was sniffing the air for something far more important. "Do you think they have free samples here? I was late this morning and I didn't get my usual daily croissant."
He frowned. "I don't know...maybe CostCo France draws the line at fifteen samples that substitute for lunch." He joined her in sniffing the air. "Wait!" he shouted suddenly. "Do you smell that?"
They turned the corner and gasped.
Pastry samples.
Cheese samples.
Charcu-te-fucking-rie samples.
Dante wiped a tear. "This is the happiest day of my life."
***
Neela and Dante were hanging out in the outdoor goods section now. They were alone but for the company of a dozen food samples. It was magical.
The laundry detergent tub now served as a table, as they munched away on snacks and sipped on something delightful.
"The second cheese is my favourite," Neela said.
"Did you try it with the dried fruit?" Dante asked. "Flavour-bomb."
Neela's eyes went wide. "There was dried fruit? I never saw that!" She frowned. "Or maybe I already ate it," she added, now questioning her entire existence. She looked to Dante for answers. "Do you think I blacked out?"
He reached over and rubbed her shoulder. "Everyone blacks out from CostCo free sample euphoria."
***
At the long checkout line, Neela and Dante awaited their turn with a cart full of unplanned purchases.
Happens to the best of 'em.
As they surveyed their peers, Neela took note of a cart on their right. "Check out that giant brie wheel."
He nodded and gestured to the cart on their left. "Check out all the bottles of wine."
"It's funny..." she mused.
"What is?"
"How scandalized some of them act if god forbid you don't get your cheese from a real fromagerie, or if you don't get your wine from an official cave au vins. But look! Look at' em!"
Dante slowly nodded. "Cogs in the bulk-buy wheel..."
Neela shook her head in fascination. "French people; they're just like us!"
They moved up in line and Neela helped unload the cart, wondering all the while if Luc would ever be this excited to shop at CostCo...
***
Neela and Dante relaxed in the back seat of a car.
"I can't believe how many euros we saved!" he exclaimed.
"It totally cancels out the UberX cost!" She did some quick math in her head. "Or wait...does the UberX actually cancel out all the savings?"
Shhh..." he whispered, "you're thinking too much."
She pushed him. "Stop shushing me like you're choking me out!"
He laughed. "Wasn't it worth it to come though?"
She smiled. "Definitely."
"So you're feeling better then?" he added.
"I was already fine," she lied.
"Even though your mind is a continuous cycle of freaking out?" he said knowingly.
She frowned. "Leave the harsh insight for Tiff, okay?"
"She's away on business so I'm representing," he said with confidence. "And anyway...if I was going to give you the harsh insight, I would ask you why you haven't told me to cancel those accounts."
Neela immediately looked away, focusing her attention on the drab traffic. "What accounts?"
He raised an eyebrow. "The social media accounts that are supposed to find your fascinating man from the métro? Remember those??"
"Those accounts are still active?" She shrugged. "I kinda forgot about all that."
He smirked at her obvious lie. "So did I until I did a quick check. The responses are really dying out Neela, like even the dick pics are few and far between."
She gasped. "We were getting dick pics?!"
"Don't worry," he said smiling. "I didn't mind it." He sighed. "But I should probably shut down the search now." He studied her closely. "Right?"
She focused even harder on the freeway view. "I guess so; whatever."
He pulled out his phone. "Okay, I'll do it now."
"Or..." Neela added out of the blue, her gaze still focused on the passing cars, "...maybe every now and then, you can like...boost the Twitter thread. Just in case."
"Is that what you want?"
She shrugged. "I mean...it's more like what a prudent search process would want."
He snorted. "I didn't know prudent search processes were sentient beings."
She spun around. "So when's your big lunch date again?"
He gasped. "You wench! That was savage!"
They laughed and it luckily took the heat off Neela. She knew deep down that there was absolutely no reason to keep up this fantasy of searching for a man she would probably never find—especially with only two weeks left before introducing her parents to Luc. Once that meeting happened—if her parents survived it—everything would be totally official. So official, in fact, that there wouldn't be any room for silly fantasies or tiny probabilities of success.
Not to mention the fact that she shouldn't have even wanted to pursue these things in the first place.
Yup...two weeks from now, everything would change.
But two weeks from now wasn't today.
And with that, the unlikely search carried on...
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