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Christmas with ChanMinBinSung
23rd December | Night

Minho was lying awake in bed and pondering whether he should get up again. Jisung had finally fallen asleep in his arms and Minho was glad about it, but he felt an insane inner restlessness and had the urgent need to get rid of it somehow.

He tried to change his position without waking up Jisung. He knew that the phone call with Marc had stirred up the younger, which was why he really hoped that Jisung would sleep through the night.

But the whole thing had triggered something in him. He hadn't been in therapy for longer than Jisung. And actually, he was doing really well. He was really happy with his plans for the future. Actually. But every now and then, doubts came up from the darkness and gnawed at him.

Soldiers were always needed and as long as he wasn't too old or too broken, he would simply be able to continue working at the NIS. For dancers, on the other hand, the whole thing looked different. You had to be damn good to be successful. And from time to time he still heard the voice of his mother in his head, who told him to stop the silly dancing and start something sensible with his time.

Minho was so absorbed in his gloomy thoughts that he didn't notice at all that Chan got up, went around the bed and came to him. Only when the mattress next to him was pushed down and Chan snuggled up to him he did notice the elder.

"What's wrong, my handsome?" Chan asked softly, pulling Minho into his arms.

Changbin, who had also been woken up by Minho's rummaging, pulled Jisung in his arms and slid a little further to the other side of the bed.

"I... maybe I should make an appointment with Kira again...", Minho muttered dolefully and buried his face in Chan's chest.

Lovingly, Chan caressed the younger's back and pressed a kiss on his hair. "Do that. And what do you think would help you right now?"

"I would like to go for a run..."

"Okay... I mean it's ass cold, but whatever. I'll come with you."

If Chan hadn't known exactly that they had already been in a similar situation, he would have had to think of a deja vu.

Close to each other, they ran through a dark, foggy road to the Han River and then followed it.

Minho had taken a relatively fast pace and Chan had to concentrate on his steps.

The cold air almost burned on the skin, but at the same time felt like it was sweeping their heads empty.

Their footsteps sounded unnaturally loud on the asphalt, mixed with the quiet waves of the river and their panting breath.

At some point, Minho stopped panting and Chan, who had stayed a bit behind, was so insanely glad about it, because his legs were burning.

"If anyone can run away from his problems, it's you," he gasped and leaning against Minho.

"I'm not running away from my problems... but from my fear of the future," Minho muttered, which only led to the fact that Chan understood all this even less.

Panting, he wrapped his arms around the younger and felt his chest rise and fell violently, even though he didn't seem as out of breath as he was himself. "You can talk to me about anything, baby! You know that, right?"

"But it was supposed to be a surprise," Minho whispered sadly, leaning his head against Chan's shoulder.

Sighing, Chan patted his sweaty back. "Is it worth the surprise if you feel that terrible about it?"

"Probably not...", Minho whispered.

But even before he could say anything else, they heard footsteps and laughter from several people approaching, which was why they decided to run home.

Not that the probability of being recognized by the people who walked through the night was insanely high, but Chan didn't want to risk it either. In addition, he slowly got cold by just standing there, which was why he was quite glad that they were running back.

Arrived back in their apartment, both were panting, because they had set a fast pace for the way back.

And even though it had been so cold outside, their clothes were wet and sweaty.

"Go to the shower, I'll get us some fresh clothes," Minho muttered softly and pushed Chan towards the bathroom. He needed a moment to get along with the idea of revealing the surprise now.

Tired, Chan groped into the bathroom. He could have fallen asleep without any problems before they went for a run, but now he was really tired. So he simply took off his clothes and threw them on the floor, which was otherwise not how he would behave.

Yawning, he leaned against the cool tiles and turned on the water. It felt almost too warm, after the cold air outside, but it didn't really bother him.

When Minho came back shortly after with fresh shirts and boxer shorts, he just took off his sweaty clothes, threw them on the pile with Chans and stepped to him, into the shower.

His hands slid down Chan's body.

He kissed him almost roughly. Scratched Chan's back and buried his hands in his hair. Pulled on, not really gently.

At first, Chan was just surprised. He had absolutely not expected it and even though he loved having sex with Minho, something felt strange right now.

But only when Minho fell to his knees in front of him and moved his hands towards Chan's not exactly hard one, the elder reacted.

"Min, Stop!"

As if he had been beaten, Minho shucked back and lowered his head.

Only now did Chan notice that the younger was shaking all over his body.

Without hesitating for a second, he dropped down next to him and pulled him into his arms. Gently stroked his back.

"Baby, talk to me! What's going on?" Chan asked quietly and noticed worriedly that tears were running down Minho's face.

"I... I just wanted..."

Sobbing, Minho collapsed in Chan's arms. He clung to his arms like he was drowning and Chan was the only one who could safe him, wishing he could just forget all his doubts and fears.

He had wanted to have sex with Chan to be able to put it all aside. Would have given him the dominant position, because he urgently needed the feeling of support and guidance.

And maybe because he wanted to punish himself somehow.

Not that sex with Chan would be a punishment. He loved to have sex with the older one. To push him to his limits and get him out of his dominance.

But after he himself had some disastrous experiences, he had decided for himself never to give up his dominance. For no one.

Only his unconditional trust in Chan and the unconditional desire to exchange all the doubts and fears for some lightness would have moved him to do so. And the need to break his own boundaries.

But now, in Chan's arms, he felt somehow relieved, but also lost.

Hearing his mother's voice in his head again, after she had been silent for so long, had felt terrible. As if he were the little boy again, who in her eyes would only do everything wrong anyway and had been punished at every opportunity. Giving up the security of his job at the NIS to become a dancer would have been a huge anvil in her eyes. Something he deserved to be punished for.

While all the thoughts were racing through his head, Chan was madly worried. Because although he had of course noticed that something was going on in Minho, he didn't at all know what.

"Baby, please talk to me..."

"I don't want anymore...", Minho whispered. Causing Chan to fear the worst, because for a terrible moment he thought that Minho meant his life.

"I don't want to be a soldier anymore."

Barely audibly the words left his mouth, followed by a violent sob.

But Chan had heard him and took a deep breath. Because that was so much less bad than all that he had imagined.

"Then let it be! No one can force you to stay there! And you don't have to worry! I know it's not easy to accept, but we have enough money and you can think about what you want to do instead!" Chan knew he was talking too much. But he absolutely wanted to take away Minho's terrible feeling and all the pressure that the younger one definitely felt.

Which actually made Minho take a deep breath and laugh.

He stayed in Chan's arms for a while, but then straightened up and brushed his wet hair out of his face. "I already know what I want to do..." he muttered softly.

Surprised, Chan smiled. This was the Minho he knew and who was always prepared for everything.

"Felix asked me if I didn't want to start as a coach in the studio. And he thinks if we win the dance battle, my chances are really good."

Now it was Chan who had to take a deep breath. He felt so much love for Minho and was so proud of him that he tried to follow his dream.

Although for a long time none of them had known how much Minho loved dancing, he had told them about it after they had returned from Japan. And the more often he had trained with Felix, the more aware they all became of how much Minho loved it.

"That's wonderful, baby!" Chan whispered and tears gathered in his eyes, so proud and happy was he.

"And I thought you'd think thats a terrible idea."

"Bullshit! You follow your dream, just as you should!"

Overwhelmed by their feelings, both were silent for a moment. But finally the fatigue made itself felt again and they hurried to finish showering.

Cuddled close to each other, they finally lay next to each other in bed again. Only in boxer shorts, because Chan had insisted that they slept without shirts.

"I love you very much!" Chan whispered and kissed Minho gently.

"I love you very much too! Much more than I thought would be possible!"

Quietly giggling, Chan ruffled through Minho's hair and kissed him again.

"I want to surprise Ji and Binnie with this..."

"Your secret is safe with me, baby," Chan whispered, closing his eyes in satisfaction. Minho seemed much calmer than before and that had been his only goal. "Sleep well," he muttered and closed his eyes after pressing another lazy kiss on Minho's lips.

"You too."

꧁ ⸺  ♥  ⸺ ꧂

I can't really explain where this came from. I originally planned the chapter in another way, but that just came up, while I was writing. Hope you like it tho.
A bit MinChan cause I love their chemistry. ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒
Planning at least one or two more chapters. *ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•｡꒱໊੭*